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Give me some gernades


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Give me some gernades, a box of screws, two tanks a board with a nail in it and a bag of skittles and I will take care of the problems in Iran

(George S. Patton)

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: Drew

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» 66 comments

  1. lowly grunt says:

    Is this MacGuyver’s grandpa???

    • ann says:

      Um. I know Patton is full of win, but I believe the general your mentioning with
      the philippines and all is MacArthur…

      • hergieburbur says:

        You are correct, it was MacArthur. Patton fought in ETO, not PTO.

        • matt says:

          dont forget the ATO. he was the leading american general against rommel’s afrika corps.

          • john says:

            my uncle served under him in N.africa durring WW2, said he talked to him once (he spoke german as a first language). said he was an ass hole. but that he would follow him to the ends of the earth. i meet another gentleman who served with him in anzio and N.africa. said the same thing.

            • john says:

              MACarther was in the S.Pac

              • djfasil; says:

                Both MacArthur and Patton were the greatest generals in American history, and without them, WWII wouldn’t have been won. Also, if MacArthur had been allowed to stay in his position, we wouldn’t have to worry about the Chinese right now….we probably would’ve turned out different then, but that would be one less problem….if all of this went right over your head, read up on the Korean War

          • Case says:

            Actually, Montgomery (the Brit) did most of the work in N. Africa. Patton was there for a couple of the battles, really put the nail in the coffin and help end the thing but you need to give the Brits there due, they did a lot of the heavy lifting before we got there.

            Now, after D-Day, that was Patton’s time. His campaign in the souther part of Italy was impressive, but after the D-Day landing is when he really get rolling. 3rd Army babby, kick’d major ass!

    • A says:

      Best. Comment. Ever.

  2. jellybeans says:

    McCain went to school with MacGuyver’s Grampa.

    *runs and hides*

  3. Sharktattoo says:

    Nice…made me laugh out loud.

  4. 3ntropy says:

    hehe “gernades” is a nice touch. good ol patton.

  5. WilliamCA says:

    Hell yeah! Patton would kick much Arab ass!

    WilliamCA

  6. follie says:

    Ahh! He’s got a board with a nail in it!

  7. Green Is Good says:

    YES! Quick! Somebody make an Pact with various dark forces and resurrect him! And John Wayne.

    The Duke will flick lit cigarrettes at them. Hard.

  8. Ignatz says:

    Patton was too smart. He knew not to fall for one of the classic blunders. You know; never get into a land war in Asia. (Who knows what would have happened if Mussolini had been a Sicilian…)

  9. Speed says:

    Mmmm…. I like skittles.

  10. Charlene says:

    You forgot “six custom-made Army jackets, my own personal valet, and five dedicated news feeds to keep the American public apprised of my own — um, the men’s — valorous deeds.”

  11. Heroh says:

    WHAT problem? The fabricated one? or…. How bout the U.S. justs works on the two wars they’ve already got on their plates. Do us all a favour.

  12. Bob'sYourUncle says:

    what’s he need the skittles for? if he doesnt need’em, can i have’em?

  13. diaperhead says:

    Problems in Iran?
    You got to send some guy to make some troubles first. Like those british fellas.

  14. Cellie says:

    mmm skittlz…

  15. Silfedac says:

    i can haz skittlez? kthxbai

  16. General MacArther says:

    That’s right, the little pricks. But they are noble little pricks, noble. Because they fight with their guts, like animals. And for an idea! That’s rich. We can wipe that little idea right out of their savage animal guts with some thermonuclear pain. Why don’t we use this high tech kit? And when were done with Iran, lets do North Korea, Russia, China, France, Quebec, Japan, Germany, Mexico and Texas – anyone that has ever fought or slighted the good old USA. We’ve used the bomb twice a few more times will be cathartic and really serve as a purgative of our collective, saddened soul.

  17. john says:

    awww here it goes

  18. Grace says:

    SKITTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Jonas says:

    I like mcaulliffe

  20. elc says:

    shoulda had Rommel take care of it, Patton was a dick. his favorite tactic was to basically turtle till he knows he has the overwhelming advantage, where Rommel managed to pull off genius tactics even being hindered by Hitler’s paranoia and the confusing military structure Hitler sloshed together.

  21. Wilagins says:

    Well, my choice would have been Chesty Puller personaly, but then, I am a Marine.

  22. Deep Thought says:

    Dude. You may want to masturbate more often to work out that aggression…

  23. charro says:

    Masturbation turns you into a communist you know.

  24. Seph says:

    I know history and you’re obviously been fed a lot of propaganda, I feel sorry for you actually :( Generals around the world wish to achieve his lvl of military genius to this day, many try to emulate his teachings and techniques.

  25. matt says:

    you do realize that he’s considered among the greatest military leaders of all time? and that before it was reclassified as a ARCENT, the third army still referred to itself as PATTON’S ARMY


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