Sexual innuendo in… 3…2…1…
(Pope Benedict XVI)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption:
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I remember when the Pope was a Pole …
aaaaagh! i knew it! the pope is trying to tell us he screwed the choir boys!
Actually, the Easter candle as a religious symbol does have specific sexual overtones, the most overt expression of which comes just after this photo (he dips the base of the candle into a pool of water three times).
Yeah, I know, we Catholics are kind of perverted. : D
(he dips the base of the candle into a pool of water three times).
Accomponied by the sacred chant of ‘Giggity, Giggity, Goo’
Lol Kurt!
That’s our quagmire!
yup. it’s like symbolic sacred sex. i kinda think its neat. i’m not Catholic and i’ve never been to a Catholic Easter Vigil, but i kinda think i should some year.
I bet a lot of that symbolism came from pagan rituals that are older than the church. The Catholic church incorporated many of those pagan rituals in order to get converts.
Nuh-uh! There’s a perfectly reasonable reason why the symbols for Easter are things likes rabbits and eggs, and that they have absolutely nothing to do with co-opted fertility rites.
Too bad Easter really is a pagan holiday. They use rabbits and eggs to symbolize fertility. It is why Easter day jumps around all over the calendar. If you watch, Christians celebrate it as the resurrection of Christ, but sometimes it falls before Passover. Wonder how he rose from the dead before he was crucified?
*sigh* Perhaps I was too sub-e-tel in my sarcasm. Mea culpa.
[The biggest tip-off of co-option is the name of the holiday. The Saxon Goddess of fertility was named Oester.]
No worries, I got the sarcasm.
I got the sarcasm too. I was just pointing out that what you said was true.
Thank you all for pointing out the “easter is a pagan holiday” thing and thus saving me the trouble. I am curious to how many of the people who pointed this out are themselves pagans, like me. Speaking of co-opting pagan holidays into christian holidays, look up the song “Santa Claus is Pagan Too” by Emerald Rose. Now I would like to take a moment to point out that I have put more time and effort (albeit not a whole lot of effort) into writing this post to thank you for saving me the trouble of making a post myself, than I would have used to write the post in the first place. Yes, I did do this intentionally. No, I don’t know why I do these things other than the fact that it entertains me on some Andy Kaufman-esque level. And most importantly, No, I don’t know WHY you’re still reading this post when it stopped being relevant to anything after about the second or third line. And finally, no, I’m not going to go up there and count what line it stopped being relevant on.
Don’t know if this is an attempt at misdirection or sheer ignorance.
Yes, the ENGLISH word for Easter derives from Eostre, the name for “a Northumbrian goddess whose festival was celebrated at the vernal equinox.” (Oxford English Dictionary.) However, the Christian HOLYDAY derives from events which occurred some one thousand years earlier, several thousand miles to the east, and has quite different names in the myriad of other languages through which it came.
Eostre’s name itself came through Old High German, then Latin, from a Greek word meaning “dawn”. Most of the rest of the Western European names for ‘Easter’–Paschal and the like–derive from the Hebrew word for Passover, “Pesach”. The Polish word for Easter is Wielkanoc (lit., “great night).
Does it occur to you New-Age types (actually, garden-variety pagans) to do some research before you mouth off about things about which you know nothing?
Polly: The “rabbits and eggs” derive from an 18th-century German custom which was brought to the US. Nowhere else. Don’t be such a culturocentrist. Read some. Same to you, Jane and Jamie (below).
“Those who fail to learn what happened before they were born will remain forever children.” -Cicero (a Roman historian)
I’ve got a ton of references here which would seem to indicate your information is wrong, QBQ:
http://www.reference.com/search?q=easter
Sorry, but I think it’s clear the early church had a vested interest in co-opting the dominant holidays of the tribal areas they were attempting to expand into.
There are times when I don’t mind being wrong! Such as when I learn something new, or when in the process informed dialogue takes place.
Actually, when I said the ‘rabbits and eggs’ thing happens only in the US, I meant the vast commercialization thereof–which reflected my own culturocentrism. In that context, it is true. But I had no idea of the apparently universal symbolism of the egg for rebirth in Western civilization. Great link, PMark, and I plan to spend a good deal of time investigating it. TX.
Pending more research, I am withholding judgment on the incorporation of local holidays into the Christian liturgy. I am not suggesting it is not so, simply that I don’t know.
For you neopagans and the otherwise uninformed, though–”The Da Vinci Code” *wasn’t history*, okay? Dan Brown’s plots are so full of holes you could fly jetliners through them and not worry about clearance.
-”Kewbie”
I agree with you about Brown’s works; however, I quite enjoyed Baigent and Leigh’s body of work that Brown borrows from. A lot of their stuff is rather fanciful and lacking in documentation, but they pretty much convince me that either Jesus or his bloodline survived the crucifixion, or *were perceived to have done so* by powerful groups in the middle ages.
Nice chatting with you Kewbie!
“but they pretty much convince me that either Jesus or his bloodline survived the crucifixion, or *were perceived to have done so* by powerful groups in the middle ages.”
PMark–If you liked the stories, and hold to the above, you will *really* enjoy “Foucault’s Pendulum” by Umberto Eco, who makes such a scholarly foray into the subject of Christ’s survival, marriage, and transmitted bloodline, that you will be unable to tell where historical fact leaves off.
Eco is rumored to be making an appearance at Emory University, near where I live, soon, and I’d love to hear him speak.
“The “rabbits and eggs” derive from an 18th-century German custom which was brought to the US. Nowhere else. ”
what about the famous Ukrainian Easter eggs?
I’m a Christian, and it doesn’t bother me that there is symbolism
borrowed from pagan religions in some of my faith’s holidays. And yes,
i am aware of the relation between Passover and Easter. personally,
i think the layers of Christian, Jewish, and ancient pagan symbolism make
Holy Week and Easter all the more beautiful.
You’re thinking of Good Friday.
Passover isn’t related to the death/resurrection of Christ. That’s the day the angel of death came to take the firstborn sons of Egypt, and to pass over the houses of the Israelites.
Yes, but in the bible it talks about Jesus celebrating passover around the time of his death (I am in NO way an expert on the bible, but I do know this) so one would conclude that passover would have to have happened before he died.
This is exactly why I, as a Christian, ignore the rabbits and eggs and baskets thing for the most part.
Is this a good time to point out that in the UK there is (well was anyway) no Easter Bunny, and we were taught at school that the eggs are symbolic of the stone used to seal tombs in Palistine 2_000 years ago?
I got it herb! I was still waiting to hear your “reasonable reason”!
HAH! That’s great! Ever seen Eddie Izzard’s riff on Easter and chocolate Jesus? I almost peed myself I laughed so much!
Pretty much all of the Christian holidays incorporated pagan rituals or were set to coincide with an already existing pagan holiday. Like you said, it’s so much easier to get converts if you tell them that they can still practice the way they always have, just directed different.
excuse me douche bag im catholic and i am NOT perverted all of you are sick for thinking like that. God will smite all of you for saying this kind of crap. YOU should be ashamed of what you have just said. you may be joking but i find that extremely offense and you will die in hell because of what you said.
FAIL.
“but i find that extremely offense and you will die in hell because of what you said”
Personally, I think telling someone else they’re going to hell will get YOU sent right to hell, if you think God judges on insults as minor as that.
And wow, you are impressively stupid.
haha the reason catholic ceremonies seem slightly sexual is because they are all basically copycats of pagan rituals.
Is that a ridiculously large candle in your pocket or are ya just reeellly glad to see me?
Yeah… not getting the innuendo here. OMG the Pope is holding a long candle!!!111!11one!1!!! Get a life; this ain’t funny just because some jackasses think that all religious figures are sexual perverts because the smallest percentage (prolly .001%) of priests did such things. It’s probably happened more often in Protestant churches but because they’re fractured and scattered and unorganized, unlike the Catholic Church, so such acts go undetected.
Oh no no no. Don’t limit it to the religious organizations. Please include the Boy Scouts, the underpaid and proud teaching staff of the Oklahoma City Public School system, the Republican Party and certain creepy guys who live up the street from you! DUDE. LOOK AT THE PICTURE!
And don’t forget the ritual cannibalism that will take place just a few minutes after this picture was taken. “that the flesh and blood of Christ feed our souls….nom nom nom”
Communion as epic nom, I like it.
Dammit, I’m gonna have a hard time not giggling in church this Sunday! Thanks a lot!
Just a random lolspeak related musing here, we use nom nom nom to represent the sound of eating, which I occasionally find myself actually saying nom nom nom if I’m eating something particularly tasty. But do we have some lolspeak sound for drinking? If not, we totally should, what would some good ones be?
“glug glug glug”?
“nog nog nog”?
Don’t forget the Democratic party, the Public school system, John Edwards, any Kennedy, Bill Clinton,………
Oh? Just pointing out on one side eh? Enjoy a laugh on my name
don’t forget “Wide Stance” Craig…
You people are some sick-ass mofo’s. It’s kinda funny…I think, oops….. sorry sister!
“And don’t forget the *ritual cannibalism* that will take place just a few minutes after this picture was taken. “that the flesh and blood of Christ feed our souls….nom nom nom”
Please cite sources.
On the other hand, if, as a believing Christian, you hold that (a) we are in God; (b) God is in us; and (c) Christ is God made manifest, then the Eucharist is simply a formal recognition of the fact that Every Thing–not just what we eat and drink–is of God and sustains us. Oh, and that we should acknowledge it and be grateful for it.
Tell me, are you grateful for anything in your life, or is it just easier to make fun of people of whom you disapprove? And what, specifically, are you doing to make any of the situations you describe better?
Lovely explanation of the Eucharist, thank you. Im not a Catholic but I appreciate that.
Oh, and that is a ritual celebration that is directly from the bible and is not pagan inspired.
Actually, there were pagan cultures (I believe the ancient Celts were among them, but I could be wrong) that would kill their king after so many years and ritually cannibalize him. And then install a new king for so many years …
I always took this communion thing to be a kind of extension or reinterpretation of it (though I understand that Jesus is supposed to have said as much during his Passover meal).
Are you Catholic? It is my understanding the Catholics DO believe that Eucharist is the actual blood and body of Christ and that other Christians do not. Also, lighten up, this is a humor website. That means anything and everything is a potential joke, your faith should be strong enough to withstand it.
No, I am not Catholic, and I believe that your understanding is correct. I don’t pretend to understand this myself.
I know that this is a humor site. Take a look at what I was responding to and tell me what humor you see there. I see only abject cynicism and a commonly perpetuated misunderstanding–deliberate or otherwise–of one of the central sacraments of the Church.
I don’t even consider myself particularly faithful. I AM about accuracy, and believe that humor is more effective if clearly based in either reality or complete fantasy. I would think that as we and this site mature that our humor would progress beyond Bush Is A Moron/The Pope (or Priests) Are Creepy/ Leftist Mantra Of Choice. Oh, wait, those weren’t funny in the first place.
Before you bring it up–and because someone in the room with me has done so–yes, Christians are as capable of meanness and smallmindedness as the leftists with the bumper-sticker mentality I despise. Each justifies it with their particular ideology.
I believe it is up to us as *humans* to rise above ideology and seek out truth. “Everybody knows” does not qualify as a reliable source. Neither does listening solely to people with whom you agree. I am a conservative, brought up as a mainstream Protestant Christian. For whatever reason, most of my close friends are Buddhists, nonbelievers, even pagans (which I disagree with vehemently, but that’s another discussion).
The point is, I am constantly challenged on almost all of my positions and beliefs. I am frequently wrong. No problem–I always learn something in the process. I am open to *anyone* who is interested in true dialogue, as opposed to shouting slogans.
Lighten up, Francis.
Denial much, Chris?
Nope, because I’m friends with priests and other religious. I’m no genius with numbers, but I’d estimate that about… let’s see… 99.9% of all these kinds of “jokes” and lies come from people who haven’t even talked to a priest before. They’re humans just like us but assholes like you would rather believe fallacies rather than the truth just because it’s “trendy” and makes you acceptable among other assholes.
Yes, definitely, you suck at numbers. And with jokes, you can’t take them.
Clearly, Chris, you aren’t any kind of a genius, or even halfway bright. You estimate numbers based on…. what, pulling them out of your capacious ass? You want credibility, go find some real numbers. Just because you know a few priests doesn’t negate the hundreds of abused and molested children, now adults, that have come forward to point out their sacred rapists and successfully sue the church that protected them…. just like you are doing. So, Chris, why are you so protective of people who rape children? Hmmm?
It’s not the fact that only a minority of Priests abused children. It’s the fact that the leadership and the Catholic Church as a whole deliberately covered it up, protected them from prosecution and moved them to other parishes where they could continue to abuse.
Dead on!
You heard it here first, folks. Disorganization breeds pedophilia.
I agree about the .001% thing but i don’t agree that this happens in protestant churches. im am catholic but am going to become Protestant but not becuse of that.
CBF this being rated 3 1/2 abes atm – there always seems to be a really conservative crowd that judges pictures on here. Every Bush picture (even the really funny ones – I say this acknowledging that not all of them are funny and are more bashing just for the sake of bashing Bush) are always 4/5 abes…so it just stands to reason that 1/5 people on this site are Bush supporters.
(screw all of those conservatives if they can’t take a good joke over their cause, is what I’m saying)
Well, I’m not conservative at all, but this caption just isn’t funny.
Not because it’s the Pope or whatever.
I voted 1 Abe, because a candle isn’t that fun…
I think all guys have their pet names for their penises: wankus marinus, my little pony, the Easter Vigil candle…
“I be strokin, that’s what I be doin…”
“dip your wick?”
ema you’re right on the incorporation of MUCH older rituals to get converts. In fact, the whole religious calendar is done the same way – i.e. Christmas converted from Winter Solstice.
” I be Popin’, they be hatin’” ,again
Man this thread made me laugh loud enough to wake things
You know… putting the words Pope and Sex anywhere close to each other doesn’t really do anything for me, so for those who submit LOLs… TMI!!!
Oh my god, it’s the frickina pope!
In YOUR endo!