HEAVEN’S GATE
It’s still not as crazy as Scientology
(Marshal Applewhite)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: marinebunny
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HEAVEN’S GATE
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Wow, can’t find a picture more out of date?
Seriously, that group died 11 years ago.
I think it helps give perspective to look at the past.
Heaven’s Gate may not have been as EVIL as Scientology, but it was just as crazy. Heavens gate is schizophrenic crazy. Scientology is sociopath crazy.
I’d like to be the first to institute what we shall call Rule 2 (there already being a Rule 1): “Whenever a movement asks you to remove your jimmies, that movement you shall leave at top speed!”
(Rule 1: “Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!” See also: Terry Pratchett)
Rule 1 and 2 were already taken.
1) Do not talk about /b/
2) Do not talk about /b/
Lame fight club references aside rule one is indisputably;
1. The Demon Murphy rules the universe.
lol Scientology is not EVIL, it’s definitely not half as evil as Christianity…if you feel like pointing fingers, that is.
Christine …. try not to be stupid, OK?
Don’t be fooled by Scientology’s outer appearance, they can be dangerous. They’ve ruined more than a few lives of their critics through extended, ceaseless lawsuits. The scientology church’s pockets are bottomless, and their influence reaches much farther than most people know. Scientology is indeed very very dangerous. Also they have a habit of sending pipe-bombs to people if my memory serves me.
And what, pray tell, is so wrong with being a sociopath?
OK, sweepstake for when the first Scientology drones are sent over to claim oppression, I say about post 10.
Sounds about right.. they’re converging as we speak.. I can feel them out there!
There is a great disturbance in The Force…..
More like a disturbance in the Farce.
B+ for Punology
Damn…
Must try harder.
I wasn’t aware I was being graded or I would have.
Then your next pun will count as your reassessment.
kinky
Stop that
Or I’ll fail you.
It’s okay, I wasn’t asking for your assessment. Fail away.
I don’t have the heart to do it anymore! :O
Am I losing my anger?
Anger FAIL!?
Fear my mellowing aura!!!
Whoa…. dude… like.. chill out with all the exclamation points…
Whoa…
You has a Whoa and Herb is hunting Pink boys.
Be vawee vawee quiet…
Are you using the rifle or the paddle today?
any Scientology nuts yet?
Only those licked by Cruise.
Why would you want to lick Cruise’s nuts?
*shudder*
It’s the only way to become OT3 without spending $3 million
I’ll pass…
Drink the Koolaid !
Wrong cult, but nice try.
In before Anon– oh wait.
I know Scientology, but what’s Heaven’s Gate?
Marshall Applewhite, the guy in the picture, convinced a bunch of people that the comet known as Hale-Bop was hiding a spaceship that would collect their souls when the comet appeared in 1997. The group members all committed suicide and were found covered with purple shrouds and wearing brand new Nike shoes. They believed that the Earth was going to be recycled and the only way to survive was to leave, hence the space ship. There’s more to it, but that is basically it.
Google is your friend.
You forgot about them making their bodies gender neutral.
Yipe!!
It was actually only about 6 male members that voluntarily underwent castration in order to maintain an ascetic life.
But I also forgot to mention that they all had exactly $5.75 in their pockets and that they had suicide shifts, with each group cleaning up after the previous group. Seriously strange.
At least they don’t sue/harass/kill people randomly. Indeed, on a personal level they were apparently quite pleasant. Crazy sure, but pleasant.
look it up if you don’t know, you’re obviously on the internet to post that.
Heaven’s Gate was just a little chlorine for the gene pool. Sadly, the scientologists are stringing along their adherents for as much money as they can soak out of them; a process that takes way to look to destroy people. I pity all those who are at such a low spot in their lives that they turn to such drivel. Maybe it’s just me, but when a science fiction writer who was close friends with satanists forms a “religion” I think there’s cause to reconsider its validity.
Hell…when the father of a religion scares the hell out of his own grandson by being himself…that’s a cause to run the hell away…forget reconsidering anything…
“After speaking for about an hour at the meeting, Mr. Hubbard answered questions from the audience. He made the following statement in response to a question about making money from writing: `You don’t get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.’”
Every thing in Scientology comes from his science fiction books, that should give you a hint.
Still not as crazy as voting for Obama, either.
Ha ha, woo, you sure got us on that one! If only I hadn’t already mailed my absentee ballot I would have changed it to McCain!
Don’t worry – if the polls are right you’ll have 4 years to regret voting for a blatant fascist like Barackito Mussobama.
If you even survive the Obama Administration. Hell, if any of us survive an Obama Administration.
Fox News is running a story that Al Qaeda is SALIVATING over a President Obama. They think if that happens, they’ll be able to destroy us for good.
Good thing you get your news from reliable sources, like FOX.
WIN
Probably a Scientology OSA troll sent to change the subject.
que?
Scientlology has an “Office of Special Affairs” that (when not ‘fairgaming’ members of the public) spend considerable resources trying to hijack internet discussions of CO$ to avoid criticism.
This was in answer to Minerva – not sure why it nested here.
so who were you referring to with this?
Truly unbelievable, the depths to which you people will sink. When you have no other aruments left, you plumb the depths of fear, hatred and ignorance. How would any Western news source know what ‘Al Qaeda’ is thinking? Why would Al Qaeda tell anyone the truth about who they wanted to win? Doesn’t the fact they they tell us they want Obama really mean they want McCain?
Joe Biden said as much – aren’t you leftoids paying attention?
When did he say this? Source? If it was during primary season, of course hwe used some tactics to get support for his side and away from his opponents. McCain’s campaign says a lot of things he doesn’t believe true in order to get elected, such as that Obama is a terrorist.
He said it Sunday Night.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/10212008/news/politics/joe_doh_puts_o_in_crisis_mode_134547.htm
“Watch. We’re going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.”
Sunday Night, Joe Biden said: “Watch. We’re going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.”
Source:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/10212008/news/politics/joe_doh_puts_o_in_crisis_mode_134547.htm
if you read the whole quote, he was referring to the need to have steady leadership rather than stubborn ideology like that of John McCain.
go ahead and have fun taking things out of context though
Or rather, a better way to put it, would be exaggerating to make a point. In any case, I think Biden has gained a lot of respect for Obama over the last few months, as he’s shown himself to be a strong leader, who doesn’t back down in the face of an attack and stays cool under pressure. He has put a lot more forth than a lot of people, including myself, originally expected.
See my previous response. Naqamel is right on this one; Biden basically said we’d be attacked if Obama wins.
Out of context. here is the quote:
Biden was quoted telling a crowd at a Seattle fundraiser Sunday: “Mark my words. It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We’re about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America.
“Remember I said it standing here, if you don’t remember anything else I said. Watch, we’re going to going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.”
He did not say he’d be unprepared or unable to DEAL with any crisis. The follow-up said “”With our nation facing two wars and 21st-century threats abroad, Senator Biden referenced the simple fact that history shows Presidents face challenges from day one. After eight years of a failed foreign policy, we need Barack Obama’s good judgment and steady leadership, not the erratic and ideological Bush-McCain approach that has set back our security and standing in the world,”"
I read that as Joe predicting Obama will be *tested* early in his admin, and that it is less insinuative to imply being attacked from without than from within.
Hooray for repubs seeing potential terrorist attacks around every turn. FEAR, BETHES.
Is Naqamel a terrorist name?
I think you may be thinking “Torquemada” which is what I was thinking but who knows?
I was thinking of Tacomama. Is that a terrorist name?
I’ve had some tacos that turned out to be terrorists, believe me.
Tacoma is a city. I don’t know if there is terrorist there…
Ooooh… Fox News… there’s a reliable source.
It’s Fox Propaganda Station or Faux News, whichever you prefer
Except it’s also being reported on CNN, Drudge, NBC, ABC. They’re calling it a Biden gaffe, but I think it was more of a Freudian Slip.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/10212008/news/politics/joe_doh_puts_o_in_crisis_mode_134547.htm
Except it isn’t. What he was saying, if you read between the lines and realize the Bush/CIA connection, is that the *neo-cons* will manufacture a crisis. I wouldn’t put anything past that villainous crew, up to and including high treason. Seriously, you guys are going to attack your own country in order to try to regain power. But you won’t succede. Neo-cons are pure, traitorous evil and will stop at nthing to hold onto power.
–
You know the Project for a New American Century, a neo-con think tank, stated before 9/11 that they needed a 9/11 to get their draconian policies enacted. I’m not claiming any American engineered 9/11. Just that they were ready, willing, and able to take advantage of the tragedy to further their fascist plans, so ‘testing’ Obama with a false flag, manufactured crisis is certainly not beyond them.
This is exactly what i was telling minerva about. Both sides are using the exact same source material quoted the exact same way to prove their point. Its getting silly.
In bed.
Well, the school girl outfit was a little ludicrius, but I’d hardly call it silly. I certainly didn’t get any complaints.
Oh I could complain… but I was just the camera guy…
Hey, try being the guy holding the boom mic.
Well it wouldnt’ have taken so long if you guys could keep quiet and all!
Hey cmon! My eyes hurt and herb’s arm hurts! Labor Union!
Sorry, my arms were getting tired. But good work with the jello. I was impressed.
Definitely worth the script I wrote. Magic on the set, as always.
I dunno… maybe we could CGI in a few more penguins in post?
They would accent her perked nipples on the ice floes scene…
I agree, whatever the interpretation, it looks like another attack of foot-in-mouth disease for Joe.
I don’t think Joe was speaking out of turn. He was laying the groundwork for the press to come back to in about six months and say, “SEE? Biden knew Obama could handle this and he was right.”
Mouth-in-foot?
It’s funny because the world tested George W. Bush within a year of being elected and right now his score is 27%.
Obama is not the only person that would have been tested at their new job. And saying that a disaster will happen is like saying the sun will rise in the east. Shit happens, no matter who will be elected.
Here’s another quote for you: We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
and another: fear sells; are you buying? (Obviously you are. Or, perhaps you’re just peddling fear; conservatives are famous for it.)
Many people fear an Obama presidency because they fear for his safety. . But smart people know you don’t NOT do something just because it’s scary. We don’t fail to do the right thing because some people might not like it. We do the right thing, because it is the right thing. I have no fear at all that Obama will pass any test with flying colors because he has shown the right judgment on issue after issue. He was right that invading Iraq would distract us from truly defeating bin Laden. He was right that we should talk to Iran and North Korea (Bush admin. has done so). He was right about bombing Pakistan if we had intelligence that said bin Laden was there.
So the logic is… vote for Mc Cain and AlQaeda, Iran, (insert scary name) will go away? That they won’t ‘test’ the new prez? hmmm…
Way to wave the fear around and prove the point once again.
Why do wingnuts turn every flippin’ post into an Obama rant? Loser.
Well, Obama IS nearing victory, so they’re trying to tip the balance maybe?
The polls today show them in a dead heat. My God, send more money to ACORN, quick!
Desperation. See: McCain’s campaign.
Let’s get back to the topic at hand, people! Scientology is a whack-job “religion”. Someone give THOSE people the kool-aid. Start with Tom Cruise. >=(
I think calling it a religion is a little to Generous.
Darn ! I could have used that guy on my side !
Why do you guys gotta keep bagging on a valid religion? Has anyone here ever actually read any Scientology books or anything? Or are you all just being ignorant and annoying?
Post 12 DWM, you missed it by two! Soooooo close though!
Sorry, that was Ceefax who predicted, not DWM, somehow, it just seemed like one of yours.
I have. I would like to dispute the fact that the human is race is 1 trillion years old and that an alien being dropped a nuclear bomb in a volcano.
What Scientology books have you read? And just so you know, if you do try to copy and paste anything here from that, expect a copyright suit from the Church of Scientology.
Which would be hilarious for them to sue their defenders.
They are ridiculous about it. Web sites that do support Scientology have been told to not paste direct information, so it wouldn’t surprise me if they did sue one of their defenders.
Ah, the pathetic money grubbing of it all.
At least teh Church of the SubGenius openly admits to doing it for the money. *And* they guarantee salvation or triple your money back!
I do love that place. I am enslackened.
I want to make a yard sign of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs. Not for any office; just one that reads his name. Put it out every few yars and tally the number of Pink Boys in the neighborhood…
ok, 2nd refference today on PK of Pink Boys…
WTF is Pink Boys?
Short answer: someone who is not a SubGenius.
Look into the Church of the SubGenius. It’s older than Pastafarianism by two decades, but they share many of the same tenets.
And it is funnier to read. And they won’t kill you. Last I checked………
They prevented some guy from selling one of those e-meters or whatever on eba. What they can’t destroy with misinformation they sue into the ground. It’s part of their doctrine.
Okay, as someone who’s read Dianetics, let’s talk about your ‘valid religion’:
Gay people, page 149: Need to be cured or quietly disposed of. Caused by traumatic childhood memories.
Disease, page 133: Anything that’s not caused by germs is caused by traumatic memories. Specifically mentioned: arthritis, dermatitis, heart problems, cancer, ulcers.
I would like to know how memories cause cancer or my arthritus.
Is your arthritus linked to your dibeetus?
(It’s a sympathetic jab; it’s raining in Denver, so I’m taking ibuprofen like ravers take E)
Just as long as you’re not dancing like them.
With joints as rusty as mine? I’d look like Tom Waits having a seizure.
Better than just being a white girl with no rhythm. Damn my WASPy genes!
Awww, poor thing. I have great rhythm. Danced Lynn’s into my bed.
I miss raves and thanks for the sympathy Herb.
Oh, and the entire field of psychology and all psychological medications are apparently a sham. Lol, $cientology calling something a sham.
Mmm irony, they has it.
My Doctor wasted a whole lot of money going to Medical school, then.
They do believe that.
i remember hating my 5th birthday party, the clown scared me to death, is that raumatic memory enough to cause my sleeping with other boys?
OMFG I’M CURED!
Traumatic….
effing typing skillz = fail
Clowns eat people.
…….
…….
*I freaking hate clowns* *shudder*
Coincidentally there are some posts on the roflrazzi page about heath ledger making people afraid of clowns again.
His clown I could deal with because I could tell what his features were underneath the paint. His cronies, on the other hand *shiver*
And there were several places in that movie where he had fresh make up on that I couldn’t even look at the screen while he was there.
My fear of clowns goes back to seeing the movie ‘IT’ when I was 13. I didn’t like them before, I hated them afterwards. I was 10 under par on a mini golf course one time until I got to the hole with the clown on it. I finished at close to 20 over because of that stupid hole.
I can respond to this in three ways. Can’t decide which one, so I’ll do all three.
1) When I was a kid, the boogey man looked exactly like Ronald Reagan. I was terrified that he was inside my closet, under my bed, or outside my window.
2) I can relate to the clown-phobia. It’s not clowns with me, but slugs. I’ve no problem with snails (because they have the decency to have shells), but slugs turn my bones to jelly.
3) We all float down here
In bed… With slugs…
*twitch* I *twitch* freaking *twitch* hate *twitch* you *twitch* so *twitch* much *twitch* right *twitch* now * twitch*
Just getting you back for mentioning the schoolgirl outfit while I was at work.
Or if you mean Herb, ya, he’s a dick.
>_>
<_<
What? just covering my bases.
It was herb’s last comment that got me *back under the bed*
Ya, he’s a dick. Yep, full of dicketry that one. I am a perfectly innocent angel by comparison. He eats babies too. Kicks kittens and generally moons old people in his spare time.
I’ll protect you from clowns. Now to just relocate you to my secret bunker. Don’t mind the cameras, pillows, big bed, or variety of costumes and impliments. You’re safe here.
I think I scared her off… Perhaps I should have used candy and a nondescript van instead?
OOW CANDY! Um wait…
Ummm, no candy here. None for dudes at least. I’s hunting wimmens…
You know.. Im not usually the type to be bored and peruse the older posts buuuuuut…….. I just had to share a wonderful story….
Back in my theatre days, there were cast parties. These parties usually include many movies, and drunken games between horny teens and twenty somethings. NOW… the important part. We had just finished watching the miniseries “It” after popular request by some of us who had read the book. Needless to say many people were not only freaked out by the movie itself, but by the fact that shortly after I found out I must have stolen Tim Curry’s vocal chords. So the rest of the night was spent scaring the sh*t out of anyone who couldnt handle me standing right behind them and whisper “I’ll kill you all, and when you’re down here with me, you’ll float…. oh yes….. you’ll FLOAT TOO!” There were 3 young ladies(one of whom would become a girlfriend of mine later) that were overcome by terror by that specific act.
So with that little set up, here comes the meat and potatoes. The following day I let everyone in the cast but those three ladies know my plan. The plan was.. Ignore me. No matter what I do, what I say, ignore me, act like Im not even there. So I show up to warm ups wearing a silver jumpsuit with orange puffballs buttons, a red roundtop wig, and white face pant and a handful of balloons.I then proceeded to Pennywise my way around backstage, with everyone but my targets acting oblivious to my existence. Needless to say, I had FAR too much fun. There are few moments in your life as an impressionist and an actor that you can truly take pride in. That, was one of those moments, for me.
Get out while you still can, if you still can. Run, do not walk. They will kill you. I’m not joking and I’m not exaggerating. L. Ron said, anything goes in defending Scientology, up to and including murder. By having anything to do with Scientology, you are now what they call ‘fair game.’ They may do anything up to kidnapping you and starving you to death to keep you from leaving. They have done it before.
I wonder if this counts as valid? (click on my name)
I wanted to put that answer on the last census, but I was a minor at the time so my dad filled in the census on my behalf. My oldest brother did put that on his census form.
I’ve read up on it. It’s Buddhism with a new age, sci-fi gloss that preys upon the mentally weak. It’s little more that a huge pyramid scam that sucks money out of people in exchange for some engineered peace of mind. Also, I resent the use of the term “valid” as it’s far from it. I’ll say it’s as valid as the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I can has south park reference?
Nope, that’s my own conclusion. Kudos if the SP lads came to it too.
Flying Spaghetti Monster was in SP as a symbol for fake religion.
Flying Spaghettin Moster was invented in response to the Kansas School Boadr wanting to teach intelligent design in public schools in addition to the real science of evolution. It’s become a pop culture thing now. I think there’s a wikipediaa entry.
Hey, are you dissing The Great Noodly-ness? FSM-ism is *much* worthier than Scientology.
At least the FSM doesn’t crush the souls of His believers in exchange for their cash.
Really, two words: thetans and Xenu. That really summarizes it. Oh, that and Tom Cruise belongs.
Try “humorous” and “satirical”… y’know, comedy on a comedy site?
How much money have the Scientologists taken off you so far? That “Free Stress Test” was a bargain, wasn’t it.
Ignorant No, annoying maybe. But hay don’t worry here have some cool aid….
Wow… Well, check out the official Scientology site – http://www.scientology.org and find out some true information. Or go to a church. Don’t just listen to the BS on the internet.
Or listen to the people who have left $cientology. Those that haven’t been scared into silence or suicide, that is.
You post a link to the cult’s website, then you say “Don’t just listen to the BS on the internet.” How about you check http://www.whyaretheydead.net/ and http://www.xenu.net/ to find out some of the things that the CoS is responsible for instead, Julia? Oh wait, the cult won’t let you visit the websites of “Suppressive Persons.”
I would have assumed on screennamed Tyler Durden would have posted a link to the one true Cult. I have it linked in my name.
I guess it never occurred to you that a lot of us HAVE checked out their information. We just find it sociopathically unstable.
Directing people to ‘check out the official Scientology site’ may not be the best way to avoid ‘listening to the BS on the internet’.
Count it.
Um yeah. Like someone is going to go into a cult to “see how it is”
Forget it. A lot of the public knows the truth now, and that line is just not going to work anymore. You should erase it from your talking points.
I already told you that I have read the “true information” and I’m calling shenanigans.
sigh…
I haven’t read information on CO$ but I know that the violinist who I manage wanted to play at one of their buildings (it’s great acoustically) and I contacted them to see what their booking contract looked like.
I told the violinist there was no way he was playing there. Just a few of the crazy things that they had in the NON-NEGOTIABLE contract were:
-a higher up in the CO$ had to approve the entire performance program to ensure that the music wasn’t against their beliefs (we’re talking about like Beethoven and Bach here mind you)
-a CO$ representative was the only one allowed to great people at the door to the concert hall
-the artist MUST take a 45 minute intermission during which a CO$ representative would talk to the people attending about a topic of our choice (we were offered topics about curing drug addiction, fixing homosexuality (their words, not mine), explaining how depression isn’t real and one other that i’ve forgotten)
-the artist had to charge at least a $5 admission to each person attending to cover the cost of the CO$ books they passed out at the end of the performance
-the artist, accompanist and MYSELF would have to sign forms for a background check
Those are just some of the ridiculous things they required for a 90 minute recital. Not to mention that the rental fee for an 800 seat auditorium was absurd.
So yeah, I don’t know the tenets of the religion inside and out but I know enough to know that they’re flipping insane and force their views and ideals on everyone else.
O_O…
dwm, i appologize as either pk or my phone’s sucky internet seems to have eaten my posts
It’s the internet thetans!
I still love you.
Aw, guys, I think you ran Julia off.
Good work!
At least Heaven’s Gate had the decency to keep to themselves and eventually remove themselves from the gene pool, unlike the Scientologists who insist on pushing their agenda and attacking freedom of speech while cowering behind freedom of religion. Scientology is NOT a religion, by the way, despite what every Scientologist has been programmed to tell you.
Excellent point. I would think most people would realize that if you have to pay, up front, to learn a religion’s tenets, it’s not a religion, it’s a business.
because scientology has male believers castrated in support of an ascetic lifestyle right?
definitely just as crazy, if not crazier than scientology.
The castration was voluntary. The murders that Scientology has committed were not.
hey if you guys liked my Applewhite one check out my Tom Cruise lol
Dude, total knock-off of Pulse from Cowboy bebop
Heaven’s Gate – It’s Jonestown for Losers
Ah, the inspiration behind Cowboy Bebop.
i m in ur mindz strippingz u of ur gigaiz.