I needed a mean laugh.

Oh.

Never mind.

When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

I saw the SNL Couric/Palin “interview” before the actual thing. I thought Fey was just being mean and was actually turned off by it.

THEN, I saw them both side by side and was amazed that Fey’s “lines” were verbatim. Holy Sh*t. And McCain expected sane people to vote for that.

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/stories/1999/03/09/president.2000/transcript.gore/

Tina Fey quotes were easier to remember than real Palinisms, because they made more sense. In some Tina Fey routines, you could understand both what her fictionalized Palin was trying to communicate, and the far funnier actual English meaning. The real Palin’s world salad rarely conveyed even one message coherently.