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YOU KNOW YOU’VE FAILED SOMETHING WHEN

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures

YOU KNOW YOU’VE FAILED SOMETHING WHEN: You’ve had 8 years of military school, and are assigned to guard the hats…

(Russian policeman)

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption:

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» 183 comments

  1. Natascha says:

    первых.

  2. froofrou says:

    I wonder when the poster format is going to be used correctly……..

  3. I Fail at Failing says:

    Correct poster use FAIL!!!

  4. Ruski says:

    If thats the best you can do, you fail.

  5. I should have been checking the vote page I see… Speaking of hand jobs, I should have Lynn use her hands and only her hands until I say she can use her mouth. She whimpers soooo sweetly. Then again, maybe I will just get off on her chest instead. I should get a picture of it with it all over her chest. She gets such a priceless look on her face…

    Ooooh, perhaps make her wear her schoolgirl skirt and knee highs… Yaaa, I like that idea.

    • eddiepscetti says:

      *covers eyes*
      -
      TMI, man, TMI!!

    • charro says:

      That is so hot.

      • eddiepscetti says:

        Well I’ll be damned, DWN did hit his target (no pun intended) audience!
        -
        Ok, press on with pride!

      • You might have liked the pirate time we had a while back. I tied her legs apart and plundered her like a poor little village girl. I believe it culminated with tossing her over the couch, hair pulling, and growling in her ear that she was naught but my little piece of plunder to do with as I please. Ah submissives and their fantasies. We both had a blast though.

        I’ve also wrote some poetry and stories for friends as well as done some voice chatting with the sub of one of my friends. She apparently loves my voice and says I have a purr to it and a growl that just drives her wild. Her master appreciates the effect.

        @eddie: I like to think I know what my audience likes.

        • charro says:

          Pirates! I love it. Also, very hot

          • dissimilitude says:

            Well, yeah. Very.

            • I might go with some pirate punishment sometime. Tie her over the arm of the couch and then flog her. Then… Get creative. Oh and I suggest applying some ginger to the clit.

              Just take a little bit and either drop some of the juice on it or rub some cut ginger on it. Just trust me. You will love the reaction. ; )

              • dissimilitude says:

                *is dubious. Curious, but dubious* One of the least-sexiest experiences I ever had involved a lube that was supposed to “tingle”. It took about, well, maybe 60 seconds before I had to run to the bathroom and wash it off. I can only describe the sensation as similar to applying BenGay to your genitalia, which, to me at least, is highly unpleasant. Of course, I may be more sensitive than normal. I don’t know. I have pretty sensitive skin in general.

                But anyway, like fresh ginger or crystallized ginger or powdered ginger, or what? Oh, and what’s the effect if you do it to a guy? (Or do I need to experiment and let you know?)

                • charro says:

                  *adds ginger to the shopping list*
                  Thanks! Need ideas as I am hubby-less, but not toy-less.

                • dissimilitude says:

                  You might tell her it’ll get easier as she gets older, if you think that’ll cheer her up. It generally does get (a lot) easier. (And you guys slow down! Heh. Life’s not fair, is it?)

                • dissimilitude says:

                  You know, froo, if you get creative you can get clit stimulation during sex. Heck, have him get behind you while you use your hand, or while he does (trickier…)

                • dissimilitude says:

                  Or, yeah, like DWN said, you should get to go last sometimes!

                • Grrrr, PK is eating my posts…

                • Ya, Lynn is very fond of it too. Though she says I have a tendency to hit the end of her if I am overly excited. >_>

                • dissimilitude says:

                  @ charro *hugs* That’s gotta be tough. I’d miss my guy something awful if he was gone long.

                • Hmmm, interesting Seth…

                • charro says:

                  @Seth I took a class once and there was a section on the G spot. I tried and I tried and I tried and I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I’ve tried several ways, I think I’m just broken, or too damn impatient. My system works well =o)
                  But I appreciate the thought, sehr gut.
                  @dissimilitude *hugs* it is pretty tough but it was a mutual decision he go so I have no one to blame but the both of us. I mean, we’re still together, there were just too many problems.

                • Seth says:

                  @charro: Well, I don’t think that every woman can learn it, even with training. It depends on anatomy. Maybe not even most women. I’ve only ever known two women who could, and one of those I had to teach, and that took two years. So don’t feel like you are broken or anything.

                • Danbala says:

                  …and the conclusion about the BRAINZ bit is just that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with going “Ah well, I am obviously not coming tonight, but wtf, this is nice anyway”.

                • *sigh* And PK decides to put my post in there now, after it no longer matters. Grrrr.

                • dissimilitude says:

                  PK…the magic post eater.

                  Well, that sounds a lot dirtier than I meant for it to.

                • Danbala says:

                  Freud was a sadist in the bad way. :o P

                • Eh, least my post was dirty and fun but now way up there in the thread. Heh.

                • charro says:

                  It matters to me, DWN.

                • Kuromisa says:

                  O//////O Wow, this is probably the most, erm, educational thread I’ve ever read.

                • froofrou says:

                  @DWN, Seth, and the others, I use toys and fingers a lot during sex. (DWN, you’ll appreciate this……lots of hair-pulling, holding down, and calling me dirty, dirty things always helps the process, hehe)
                  -
                  Seth, I’ll try that idea next time. Alas, I’m away from the hubby right now, but he will be jumped with extreme predudice when I get back!

                • AC says:

                  Jings!
                  Wheesht!
                  You’ve taken up all the comments page.
                  Have you nothing better to talk about?

                • slanagat says:

                  What, better than sex? What do you suggest? :^P

                • charro says:

                  I know, right? Best conversation EVAR.

                • DeathWyrmNexus says:

                  @AC: Seriously. Go play in traffic and die in a fire. It is getting old.

                • AC says:

                  Charming as ever, DWN.

                • slanagat says:

                  Sure and it’s getting a bit annoying, but I think we might be clever enough to make the point in an amusing way without resorting to this sort of thing.

                • AC says:

                  I also lack patience. Unlike you, I lack patience with the excessively lewd. Although you may not have noticed, I have little to “contribute or discuss” in threads regarding American Politics yet I have no issue with them.
                  Your “knowitall” comment is a strawman fallacy that is almost completely unfounded. Everyone (except perhaps Seth) is guilty of pontification. I, no more so than average.
                  Anyway, the charm of a gentleman does not desert him when he is faced with an opposing viewpoint…

                • rhorho says:

                  Since this isn’t my fight, I feel the need to step in. This mess needs to be taken down a peg or two. Can we all agree that lashing out is counterproductive?
                  Don’t make me get Jane in here: She’ll make you write sentences! o_O

                • DeathWyrmNexus says:

                  @AC: I find it rather founded by your attitude and continuing whining. As for the rest of it, nobody asked for your approval nor do we need your patience. So coming to complain everytime sex is discussed gets old as the site is not your playground. As I noticed, a number of people were discussing things in a mature manner. Your delicate sensibilities can bugger off.

                  Also, being a knowitall doesn’t necessarily entail pontification. It entails a feeling that you know everything and thus have to add to every conversation. At least if you are going to claim a debate term, use it correctly. I am making a personal attack, not bringing up a diversion.

                  Lastly, I never claimed to be a gentleman. I simply said you don’t worrant any kindness or charm on my part. You can stop making up points to counter. It also helps if you actually have a counterview to discuss if you are talking about opposition. You are simply trying to stop all discussion on the subject. This thread isn’t a debate so your opposing viewpoint statement isn’t relevant. Having an opposing viewpoint would actually entail some kind of conversation, to which you seem opposed to have a conversation in the first place. Thus nothing to encounter so much as a little girl telling us to knock it off like we actually give a damn.

                  Civility would be actually leaving well enough alone instead of bickering at people just talking amongst themselves.

                  @Rhorho: She is welcome to try to force me to do anything. Won’t get her anywhere. ; )

                • DeathWyrmNexus says:

                  Gah… warrant not worrant.

                • rhorho says:

                  @AC
                  @DWN
                  Can you two simply agree to ignore each other?

                • slanagat says:

                  This forum is unmoderated. It is also all age access.

                  Since we cannot change the latter, perhaps we should hesitate to give the admins reason to change the former.

                • DeathWyrmNexus says:

                  @rhorho: Actually that was what I was doing until she decided to interject her attitude into an otherwise very civil conversation among adults.

                  I didn’t go looking for her, if you recall.

                  @slanagat: Considering what I have seen posted in the other areas, I can’t see them doing it beyond the filtering they already use. If we moderate ourselves, then why worry about them moderating? The result is the same, I’ll just end up leaving. I already visit enough places where I am not free to speak as I please. If this place follows suit, I will be done. So I cannot comply to your request at this time. Especially since it was such a nice conversation to begin with.

                • charro says:

                  Oh noes I am guilty of pontification.
                  @AC, if you don’t like what we’re writing, don’t read it. How hard is that? As I recall, the lewdness all involved us discussing what we do with our partners (or past partners) and sharing wisdom with eachother. Very helpful I think and in this day and age helping people keep their sex lives with their partners active is an admirable thing to do. Keep the home fires burning and all that. We’re not discussing how we like to have random sex with random people and cheat on our partners, now are we?
                  I appreciate the ginger tidbit, I learned something here.
                  Lesson: If you don’t like what you are reading, turn the page.

                • AC says:

                  @Charro: started to read it, decided to stop, scrolled down, thought “oh jings, this thread’s long” and so pointed it out. Obviously, part of my obsessive personal vendetta against DWN. BTW, I see your point.
                  @DWN: “whining” + an attitude you don’t like =/= “knowitall.”
                  You imply that, to have the right to add to a thread, you must be an authority on the subject. This comes from someone calling me the “comment police.”
                  I am well aware that this is not a formal debate. However, you like this thread, I do not i.e. we have opposing viewpoints. Also, I fail to see where “diversions” come into this. As you know, a strawman fallacy involves misconstruing an argument so that it is easier to refute. Here, you portrayed me as a “knowitall” to bring me down. Use of the term was justified.
                  BTW, civility also involves a lack of name-calling.

                • dissimilitude says:

                  Just a general comment….I was surprised to check back in after the weekend and see all the conflict here! I didn’t think we were getting “offensive”; generally (here or wherever) if I notice a long thread on a topic I have no interest in, I just skip over it. I thought it was fairly educational, myself. [Insert blanket semi-sincere apology to anyone I offended
                  here....]

                • Uncle Fester says:

                  I quite enjoyed the knife fight.

                  Everyone came out of it looking a complete idiot…

                • charro says:

                  @interloper,
                  I agree a little lube goes a long way, even in a hetero couple. Hell, even when you’re by yourself, a little lube can make things much better.
                  Thanks for the glove tip, if I ever hook up with a chick again, I’ll remember that!

                • *sigh* Not going to bother. AC is now a troll to me thus I will take rhorho’s advice and ignore.

                  @Interloper: Makes me glad I am a nail biter but the gloves would work wonders if you like long nails. Lube is a fun way to tell your body that nobody is going to help them. Mwahahahaa.

                  @Uncle Fester: Nice to know you will be in good company then.

                  @charro: Glad to have enlightened. My friend was very pleased to know that I am passing along what I learned. I learn tons from him. : )

                • Uncle Fester says:

                  You’ll always be the Alpha Idiot to me, you big brave S&Mer you…

                • rhorho says:

                  @UF: For my part, thanks. Anything to entertain you…
                  @DWN: You’re smarter than I thought. ;o)

                • Uncle Fester says:

                  It’s pretty much guaranteed schadenfreude all the way on PK…

                • AC says:

                  @ UF: Schadenfreude…. I like that word. Also, “idiots” comment made me laugh.

                • rhorho says:

                  @UF: Of course, now I have to drag out an old favorite:
                  “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” –Mel Brooks

                • @UF: Quirky and humble of you to admit being beneath me in the pecking order. Very odd, in fact.

                  @rhorho: … in bed. And I love that quote.

                • Interloper says:

                  @DWN: I’m a nail biter too – that’s part of the problem. Hangnails, uneven nails, etc…
                  @charro: You’re welcome. It was a randomly discovered thing resulting from her being, um, *that time of the month* and me a bit squeamish about it.

                • AC says:

                  @DWN (if he’s around): life’s too short for virtual quarrels.
                  *extends apology & offer of hatchet-burying & cookie*

                • rhorho says:

                  *has a warm fuzzy*
                  *snivels; hugs monitor*

                • *hugs rhorho* I has new boots that give me many man points which I then lose by making mental squee noises over. My feminine side got new shoes, I will be conflicted for the rest of the day.

                  @AC: Very true. Sorry for being so aggressive and letting my peeves get the best of me. Here, have some platonic affection. *hugs*

                • Point of clarification. I got new Harley Davidson boots which are size 15, thus I have to wear my shoes into the very ground before I can afford to shop for new ones. Just in case somebody took my feminine side comment too literally.

                • Interloper says:

                  @DWN: Fine, just spoil my mental image of you in 10-inch heels!
                  Although Harley boots have their own appeal, I must say. Still, it was fun to think of you as a cross-dresser for a minute there.

                • charro says:

                  @DWN damnit now you are making me think of my favourite pair of shoes that have been missing since 2003. *sniff* Those were the best shoes EVAR.
                  Do you have a Harley?

                • I have hair over halfway down my back, if that makes it any better Interloper. Lynn and a number of other girls who have played with it love to brush it. Tis a chestnut color for those curious.

                  As for the Harley question, no, I am not that cool. I just have the boots since they were the right size and I look good in them. I am sorry to hear about missing shoes. That always sucks.

                • Uncle Fester says:

                  @DWN – Credit where it’s due. You’ll always be the better idiot.

                • @UF: And you will still be in the company of your peers when you post among your fellow idiots.

                • Uncle Fester says:

                  but it must be good to be the best of the crop, though

                  gives that extra edge when applying the nipple clamps? The Cretin King….

                  It has a ring.

                • Not really, you actually need to know what you are doing when you play around with the body. Never been one for clamps myself. Being an idiot or cretin just hinders the play. Granted, I understand how backwards your country is on the concept of sexual freedom so I can see where the confusion lies. Then again, all countries have their issues to resolve so I can’t begrudge you too much.

                  As for being the best of the crop, purely perspective. But at least you have a hobby coming up with names.

        • eddiepscetti says:

          Well you got me on that one! :o )

        • froofrou says:

          Out of curiosity, what are the logistics of role play when you have small children? Do they ignore the screaming? My daughter is still tiny, but when she gets older and starts to figure out what’s going on, I’m not sure how to handle it. Any tips?

          • dissimilitude says:

            Buy her some headphones?

          • They go to bed eventually and we make sure to leave out loud noises. Stupid neighbors having to exist. If we were in a home we owned, we would have a basement for such matters that require louder noises.

            Also, sending the kids to go visit their friends and relatives work too. ; )

            • Interloper says:

              Wow, all of this from a guy guarding hats. Gotta love this place.

              DWN, I have to tell you my wife and I recently started really talking about our secret fantasies and such. It’s been most educational to read some of your posts. ;)

              • Best thing you can do is talk about your fantasies without laying down any judgment. If your first reaction is to wince, ask what turns them on about it and figure it out that way. No saying that some fantasies aren’t just batshit, not gonna happen crazy, but you would be surprised what can be a turn and why.

                I am glad and honored to have helped at all in better communication between you two. Just wish I had taken my own advice a few years sooner. I could have been having way better sex this whole time!!!

              • Well PK ate my other post so I will restate that I am honored and glad to have helped you. I find that if any of the fantasies make you wince, get some back up information from them as to why and it will help if anything like that comes up.

                Hopefully PK will put back the post I made though. -_-

              • Kuromisa says:

                Guarding hats? For what is that a metaphor? ; )
                -
                (Member of the Grammar Nazi Squad, remember? No dangling participles here!)

    • Kuromisa says:

      O///O (As always!)

  6. badcat says:

    When was that picture taken? If it was Soviet Russia, those hats might be guarding him.


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