BLACK FRIDAY AT WAL-MART
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BLACK FRIDAY AT WAL-MART
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WHY?!
THIS IZ ZZZZZZZZZZZSSSSSSSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRT AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you is stuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppid!
The garden equipment demo appears to have gone awry…
At least it wasn’t the wood chippers again. Boy, that was a mess to clean up after.
You have no idea. I work at Wal-Mart, and that’s about it, except without the riot squad.
What – people bring their own flags? Wow… that’s one parochial checkout queue.
at least people dont throw red paint at you like in petco
Yeah you’d have a better chance with them there sadly.
Pretty much.
Huh, this has been up for two hours and not a single “too soon!!1!one!!” troll?
i’m surprised as well. these are pretty much troll magnets.
Perhaps the trolls are sleeping off a big Sunday lunch.
Lunch,… Yeah … That’s it.
Oh heck–It just dawned on me: They’re buried in snow!!
Well I wasn’t going to say anything…
However, that’s not a bad trolling-for-trolls exercise. Keep the practice in. I’ve arrived way too late for the party if some DID bite, but it looks as if there were a few people ready to swing an Eddie P. Model-G bat…
If you drill a few holes on one of those bad boys, you can get a lot better velocity on the down swing. It took the better part of an afternoon, but mine is now tuned to the key of G.
How did you hold it in the vice without marking the lovely lacquer?
Of course, I couldn’t use a vice: Eds would have never forgiven me!!
*leans in conspiratorially*
I’m not allowed to divulge the exact formula, but Eds uses troll nose hair oil and a *secret ingredient,* and kiln-dries to the fine finish that you see.
You could use a vice with some spare cloth or foam. Or both for that matter.
Lordy, but it’s worth the trouble he goes to.
I miss Eds! He has been gone a while. Perhaps he is out gathering more of his “secret ingredient.” I hope he took armaments, and lots of trail mix…
They used up all their good whining on the last Wal-Mart lol.
I just had an epiphany: Maybe it’s not too soon, anymore.
Never shopped on Black Friday, never will. I don’t care how cheap the shit the stores are passing off as “bargains” are. They don’t put quality merchandise out on Black Friday.
Amen. I’m dumbfounded every time I hear one of those stories… why not spend $10 extra for the VCR that works for more than a week, let alone risk your life for one?
Not to mention I feel bad for the employees that have to work at 3am after their Thanksgiving holiday, herding all those lunatics that show up to shop at 4am. Not fun.
Some of the stuff is worth it, occasionally they just take their regular stock and mark it down. Regardless, I agree, it’s not worth the risk of getting trampled or the massive coronary that can occur from dealing with the the anxiety of shopping on that day. I’m glad I did my shopping on the internets.
TOO SOON!!!1ONE
Slan anat… Come on doooooowwwwwwnnnn! Contestant number one is a troll who describes himself as a troll, a home-maker and a gay-whale activist when not saving the lint from family members’ belly buttons. “Troll” has expressed the desire to be pistol-whipped by slag anat, preferably using something with the Eddie P. brand embossed on the grips.
(@_@) It’s late.
Wow, two name-spelling fails in one message! Still, it’s the thought that counts. :^)
*tees up*
FOOOOORE!
*Sa-WING, SMACK!*
Ooh, looked up too soon, that one’s going to fall in the trees on the left.
Yerright – I was typing tired. Sorry, old bean. You cleared the trees, but you’ll have to punch-out really low to get the troll back out onto the fairway. See ya at the 19th.
*Owes slan a decent drink after his round*
You forgot your clever handle or simply your name. You are a troll of trolls. I appreciated the chuckle, thankies.
Any time. Also, no mulligans, Slan.
Nice rack for a troll
I have a Half Troll template in one of my dorky little gamer books. I suggest to avoid breeding with trolls.
I figured not, ya bugger. Got to keep this one straight and low to thread through the trees….
Hand me my 2-iron. It’s the one that says Bad Mother Fscker on it.
Are you really going to club a girl?
except with less death by trample
The store where I work only had one fight in the line of like 900 people. They had the police on it right away so it was stopped before it turned into full riot. Sad. So glad I didn’t work the opening shift.
omg…. this has two meanings
the first one is funny
the second one is really racist……. but still funny
Thank you, Kia.
I’m trying to work out how, exactly OMG can be taken in a racist light. I’m going to lose sleep over this, you know. Or wear a different sock.
However, your thoughtfulness is noted. It may, possibly, be remembered for quite some time…
(“Really racist… but still funny.” You still spell African-American with two G’s, don’t you?)
Yeah sorry, not following you. Racist how exactly?
I think Kia was going for “Black” Friday there. Assuming she (?) thinks it’s funny to think that Black people are poor and *have* to shop at Wal-Mart for the discounts, I don’t have a clue as to the topic of her blathering.
That’s how I read it, that’s how I understood it, that’s how I played it…
Mea culpa – it didn’t deserve a subtle approach at all. Should have recommended a trip to a midnight KKK recruitment drive for her.
Statistically, Black people are poorer as a group than the whole. The US is expected to hit 10% unemployment at the deepest part of the recession, but the Black unemployment figure is expected to reach 15%. I don’t see how Black people suffering more than the rest is “funny.”
Not funny at all – I should’ve just pile-driven Kia from the get-go. 15% on a population-base your size is going to be quite frightening.
It’s not going to be a cake walk, but we’ll pull through. Obama has discovered that his inheritance is worse than previously thought. His jobs creation plan has been increased to help 3 million people. Luckily (?) our infrastructure–highways, bridges and electrical grid–is in shambles, so the work won’t be “busy work,” as some of the WPA and PWA projects (of the Great Depression era) were.
There are people out there that think that ‘black’ hole or ‘black’ friday is racist. I don’t see it! Don’t they refer to the stock market crash of ’29 as Black Tuesday?
I don’t know if this is what she’s referring to… to be quite honest, I don’t think she knows either… but it’s just a theory.
I guess some people’s neurons fire differently, such that any time “black” is mentioned, their thoughts turn to race. I can understand a Black person being a little ticklish over a White person’s use of the word, depending on how well he/she knows the White person. My high school was roughly 50% White, 25% Black, and 25% Hispanic/other. We couldn’t have functioned as friends and fellow students with such inhibiting thoughts, imo.
White Australia has an absolutely appalling record concerning the treatment of the original inhabitants.
Rho, I’m about to pass out from the tireds – and I have to wrap more prezzies. Have a marvellous Christmas, and please pass around my Merry Christmassys to everyone else. I’m not going to stare at the laptop for two days…
We will miss you! Hopefully the trolls will slack up for the holidays,
too! *hugs* Have a great holiday fest, and throw back some fire
water for me!
Wow–Totally disjointed sentence fail!
*pours more coffee*
Made sense enough to me.
That is a small part of the reason why you are made of WIN!
What, racist? Here itc is the flippin’ Paki’s who adore Walmart. It’s the Scwhartze’s who have to serve them
no racism here, thank gawd!
i wish i could say the same about my neck of the woods. some dumbasses at my university recently hung an effigy of barack obama on a tree on-campus. *sigh* there ARE intelligent people in the south, i KNOW there are…
We had the same thing happen close to where I live, only it was a McCain burning to death in a chimney and a Palin being hung from a tree. That kind of exhibit is wrong no matter who it is.
*facepalm*
I’m from Kentucky which is kind of considered to be the South. Several people around here HATE Barack Obama, and the only reason I see for that is racism. They never blame his policies or his plans, they just hate him.
oh, i’m from kentucky, too!! i go to UK, that’s where the obama effigy thing happened. i read an article from the new yorker during the democratic primary where they had quoted some people from eastern kentucky who were voting for hillary on the basis that she was not black. *sigh* it’s small groups of people making the rest of us look bad.
*dons sunglasses*
There are. We have a secret handshake and communicate in code.
*checks over shoulder; hits “Add comment”*
*waits to learn handshake and code… pouts*
*pouts with DWN*
*Shows DWN and Captain Wow some undisclosed hand gestures*
*whispers several code translations to DWN and CW*
*instantly feels a tad more special, uses hand gestures with CW. Appropriate hand gestures to be clear.*
>_>
<_<
*feels a tad more special too!*
Is it too late to get in on the secret club?
*give Diss sunglasses*
*whispers and demonstrates*
ooh, i want in, as well! i have sweet tea vodka to share with the club
*admires srab’s way-too-cool sunglasses*
*catches srab up on codes and lingo while sipping*
Actually, this photo would be an improvement; at least there’s evidence of an attempt at crowd control.
That’s not Wal-Mart crowd control. That’s outside DWN’s place – the word is OUT about his amazing ginger. Those boys have been SENT…
I know I was in that riot at DWN’s house… then I realised I could just go to the supermarket. For our mexican readers, that is “Supermercado”. Or “Wal-Mart”
Mate, I don’t know… is there much difference between DWN’s ginger and normal shop-bought ginger? He charges $80 a gram, you know.
I know.. that’s why I went to the market. Plus his ginger comes from 8 day old sushi cartons. Ew.
O_O?!
I don’t even like sushi… I do dry storage, thank you. Are you sure you weren’t just visiting some other long haired bloke who sold you something that wasn’t ginger?
And who put the word out about my ginger?! I’ve had to buy two new baseball bats…
Oh dear god. Good thing I refused to purchase that ginger for $80/gram. And how am I supposed to know what you look like?! You look nothing like “I <3 ICHC”
80$ a gram?!?!
It better be that crazy Zimbabwe weed that turns you into a deer for that price!
It is… oh my dear Lord, it is. Best cut with palm sugar, rapeseed oil, three drops of Tabasco. If in doubt, add 10cc of mouse-blood, and see what you end up seeing.
Translation for US denizens: rapeseed = canola.
Also… You put the word out. This IS the interwebz you know…
You mean this isn’t a private delusion of mine?! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Ya, good point but I don’t recall giving out my address… Also, I have to give you that I don’t look like I <3 ICHC. Besides, it would be criminal of me to charge for ginger. I am here to help, not make a buck.
Hmmm… *ponders*
Yes.. I am a fig newton of your imagination. With an ICHC profile.
Kinky… Now I am hungry.
I have fudge….
Oooh nifty. Unfortunately probably not best for me to have fudge on an empty stomach. Stupid gastric nonsense.
*hands DWN nicely wrapped fudge so he may enjoy later*
Yay! *hugs*
I was going to say “nicely packed”.. But it’s wrapped, not packed.
And *squeeze* you are welcome.
Oh yes, the jokes we could tell about packed fudge. ; )
Where’s Tego when you need him? ; ) (j/k Tego, you know I loves)
On the ginger tangent, tried it, was very much a satisfied customer.
That makes two confirmed, waiting on the third. I love helping people. Tonight is a ginger night for Lynn. : D
My only advice is to make sure she’s not raw from any fun roughness. It’s nice for sure, but it can probably be extremely painful under the wrong circumstances.
@DWN: That would require that I actually remember it while I’m at the damn grocery store, now wouldn’t it? *headdesk*
Ya, we’re aware of that from the guy that told me about it. He is a veritable library of kinky information. Tis awesome to have him as a mentor. He sent me my first leather flogger and it kicks ass. Black with red and purple trim. If I remember correctly through the haze of lacking caffeine, it is elk for a softer strike. Sorry tangent.
Ginger has the potential to be painful if you are worked raw but luckily I don’t do that to Lynn so we should be fine. Considering how this one girl likes it, I will have to ask my mentor if she has had any experience with pain since we haven’t had that problem. And if I can get that information as well as remember it all, I will do what I can to report around here somewhere.
@Diss: Well, there is always grocery lists right? ; )
I only remembered it because I happened to see it while perusing through the veggie aisle. It even looks dirty
Yeah seriously. Man, when I heard about that trampling I had a *headdesk* of epic proportions. Making Americans look like a bunch of insane consumerist zombies, ur doin it right!
I live by one and it is open 24/7. Lynn had to work a Black Friday in the photolab and it was just nuts.
Yeah, I’d imagine! I feel so badly for retail people on Black Friday, talk about seeing the dark side of human nature.
I spent much of my black friday this year on the strip in las vegas, where people are assholes all year round!
Luckily, this year, she spent it at home with the boys.
As for Las Vegas, well, I suppose. Haven’t ever been and plan to keep it that way.
Las Vegas is ok if you stay drunk the whole time and away from the gambling machines of doom. And don’t go out when the fireball of death is in the sky.
So don’t visit. Got it.
Pretty much. Unless a good friend is having a wedding on the bridge of the Enterprise and you are in the wedding.
Knowing my friends, that is possible but I think I am safe.
I have a picture of me with a Borg.
Shall I assume nothing happened to that Borg afterward?
I think I popped his brain actually… I have the Borg symbol tattooed on my arm and bested him at ST:TNG trivia. I think he didn’t know if he should love me or be afraid. Also, once a Ferengi offered to buy me.
Now I am curious to hear how that ended with the Ferengi. And you didn’t assimilate the Borg later? ; )
Well.. My friend wouldn’t let the Ferengi buy me.. He was sorely disappointed. I was going to go along with it until “Pssst.. Charro you’re drunk” was said.. a few times.
And no, I didn’t assimilate him, but I think he worshipped me. That’s a kind of assimilation, I suppose.
Awww, you could have been his borg queen and demanded servicing on your human parts. Okay, now I am just being odd with the innuendo. So sad for the Ferengi I suppose. Hehe.
I was at a wedding both times.. I felt it would take away from the married people if I was hooking up with aliens.
Why, they are already hooked up? You deserve a little love too. : D
Hahahah good call. Next time.. Next time.
Indeed, next time you are around aliens, get a piece for yourself. ; )
Was he fully functional and anatomically correct?
HAHAHHAHAHA Data win.
Yes. Yes he was. How about that?
Giggidy.
Oh, if you want to hear a great song on the subject, click my name. I <3 Voltaire. He’s my favorite goth/nerd musician.
“Hannah Montana’s new album comes out- crowds riot ! “
Did they succeed in beating her to death?
Please, please, please… who had to mention Hannah Montana? My daughter has somehow ended up with a guitar/head-mike set, a wig and a DS game – all featuring Hannah Montana. Apparently these things were given in love.
I’ve tried therapy – on the drive to Nanny’s, I rammed in Talking Heads’ “Stop Making Sense”, and Grace really loved Life During Wartime… but when we arrived, she ran to Nanny to show off the Hannah wig.
*Sigh* Therapy fail.
*The slow, gentle headdesk of resignation*
i am glad you are still trying, though! some parents end up actually listening to high school musical, etc. because their kids are just inundated with it… kudos to you. keep the faith! i remember my *NSYNC phase when i was in that stage of my life, but i ended up going back to the eric clapton and elton john i grew up with.
My son is into Foo Fighters, Apocalyptica, Finger Eleven, and Bush for musical choices at the age of 4. I am holding out as long as I can but I know he is going to get into that crap if I let my guard down.
It will happen whether your guard is up or down, Dad. You can’t stop the world, unless you plan to home school…
Grrrrrrr… Figures.
Well, not necessarily. My four always had the full exposure to pop culture, and at about middle school age (which seems to be the top age for that crap) were into (respectively):
Oldest: Show tunes. Seriously. I have no idea, because she sure as hell didn’t get it from me. Now seems to mostly be into bizzarre-sounding electronic stuff. (This is the kid that I love, but I just….don’t “get”.)
Second: Classic rock. This is my kid with the turntable and vinyl addiction.
She’s still very much into Led Zep, Creedance, stuff like that.
Third: Indie stuff. Early and still; she finds the coolest stuff online and puts it on my mp3 player for me. Good kid. (This one actually is homeschooled now, but wasn’t then. She doesn’t much like people in general, especially in large groups.)
Fourth: Was totally into old-school soul and funk at that age. Parliament Funkadelic etc. Now more rock-oriented, I guess, but still likes that suff too.
Nifty, there lies hope yet!
Sidenote, it is fricking cute to watch my son grab something to use as a pretend microphone and sing his little heart out on top of his toybox.
I awwed!
I have a niece that is very much into the Jonas Brothers and I was forced to watch ‘Camp Rock’ with her. *I had to suppress the urge to rip the screen and shave that one kid’s sideburns* I love the girl to death, but there are just a few things that I cannot do again. That’s one of them. Now my nephew is into Maroon 5. *thank goodness*
I sympathize with your brain bleed. Some music can just be painful… I am glad there was a happy ending though.
Absolutely! The sad thing is… she asked for the DVD for Christmas and…. *hates self* I bought it for her. *gag reflex*
She’s just so cute when she said that’s what she wanted. I figured, what can I do? The look on her face Sunday was worth it. But not by much.
I think all four of yours are awesome. I’m not a huge fan of show tunes or most strange electronic stuff, but I can appreciate the appeal. The other 3 are right up my alley when it comes to music.
Thank you! I think they’re a lot of fun.
Give it time. I’m not saying the my brother and I didn’t experiment with New Kids on the Block, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, etc. However, as we grew older we realized the damaging effect such music was having on our lifestyle and we embraced the classic rock of our parents (to various degrees). Charlie, however, has always been a music fan and loves the the Barenaked Ladies almost as much as I do.
Ummm, meant to say brothers, plural. Don’t want Charlie to read that and think I’m disowning my eldest brother in some kind of internet Fruedian slip.
I’ve gone for the “total-exposure” route with ‘em all… Grace pretty-well laps up most anything I’ve got on in the car, but up until this whole Hannah Montana thing, she fell in love with songs, not performers. She still loves Prince’s “Starfish and Coffee”, U2′s “Elevation” and Faithless’ “Mass Destruction” – and loves Public Enemy’s stuff every now and again… she’ll still go along happily, but cometh the Miley, cometh the Addiction.
Jane – tell me she’ll grow out of it…
I’m sorry, I read that whole thing and the only thing I got out of it was Jane’s Addiction… so I had to go back and make my brain work!
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Umm, if there is one thing I’ve taken out of my recent experience teaching high school is that teenagers are at best to be endured. If you throw enough common sense at them, eventually they grow up and look back on those years with mild embarassment like the rest of us. Sadly, some of them never grow up and those are the people who can find Nicholas Sparks’ “The Notebook” despite the fact that there are no less than three faceouts on the top shelf, and snottily tell me not to bother checking the shelf because, “I already looked there, Miss, and I’m telling you it’s not there!”
CAN’T find, damn, that ruined the whole point of my rant!
Good rant, though – that’s three-out-of-five on the Clint-Eastwood-temple-vein meter! Alas, my little Grace is seven. Long way to go before teen-dom.
I did try Jane’s Addiction on her, and she loved the dogs barking on “Been Caught Stealing.” Start somewhere, I suppose…
When I was seven, my brothers and I were ridiculously into Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust. Also, when I was really little we lived in California and Charlie would play Lights by Journey everytime we entered San Fran, so Lights has become our family travel song.
When I was seven… 15 years ago, I liked ‘She Drives Me Crazy’ by Fine Young Cannibals. I’d dance my ass off. *nostalgia*
Might be worth researching a decent female artist that she can look up to. Someone unlike Ms. Winehouse that is. I’m not her biggest fan, but even Mandy Moore is a worthy choice. I suppose the tricky part is to find something quality and still have it be ok for a 6 year old to listen to. If you like this idea, I can ask a friend of mine what she recommends, who has a better musical palette than I do.
Er sorry, that should have nested under OhMyGoodness.
PQ, I hope you like the link.
That can’t be Walmart, I don’t see any fat people.
or tatooes
Or cheap sports wear or CAT baseball hats…
… in bed. With sneakers on…
or low-slung jeans with boxer shorts poofing out over the top…
Now, by CAT do you mean Caterpillar? Because if so, CAT is made of win in my world. The wonderful world of concrete and construction.
My dad said when he was a kid, if you wanted to see a fat, half naked tatooed lady, you had to go to the circus. Now, you just have to go to Walmart anytime.
Are those the Greeks again?
That’s what Paris said, wasn’t it?
That took me a second, but I lold
Sorry. What?
Think Helen, Trojan horses, Homer, Brad Pitt in fruity loincloths, Agamemnon…
Ah thanks, I haven’t read those stories in aaaaaaaages….
Never seen the film. Any good?
No idea. I loved the stories as a kid – my great-grandmother had an Odyssey-for-kids, which she read to me. Never bothered with the movie, but I threw in the Brad-Pitt-In-Loincloth to see whom it would awaken…
Jason and the argonauts was perhaps my favourite. I liked Roger Lancelyn Green’s retellings.
Wait… A loincloth? That’s stupid. Where’s his armour?
As far as movie-marketers are concerned – who cares? Nobody asked about his T-shirt in Thelma & Louise, to the best of my knowledge…
I’ve still got them! The binding’s shot-to-hell and the glue has dried to cinder, but by Hoki I’ve still got ‘em! With the horrible artwork that gave everyone the complete (@_@) look!
this is so mess, thinking….hmmm