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Hello… USA? Yea… this is China… your loan is due



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Hello… USA? Yea… this is China… your loan is due

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: tankrunner1123

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» 164 comments

  1. Rafiq of the many says:

    That’s fine. Hey, are we going to get credit for all the lead painted toys and the melamine laced milk that you have been sending us?

  2. nick says:

    Doesn’t matter. 1, we asked for those toys and milk, and 2, yea is pronouced YAY like Yea or Nay when voting. Yeah is the word you were looking for, tankrunner1123. Better luck next time

  3. Onion says:

    Where’s my money b*tch?

  4. Pheemz says:

    What happened to you China? You used to be cool!

  5. rhorho says:

    The guy in the photo looks Japanese to me, for some reason.

  6. slaggingham says:

    If we call the trade deficit due, they owe US.

  7. Kuromisa says:

    I’d think that the US would want to avoid getting into another pointless, expensive war, though. That would just add to our debts, and after something like that, do you think anyone else would lend to us? No way.
    -
    Everyone in the world stage hates us enough already, anyway.

    • D'oh says:

      Indeed, if China says that, and the money flow stops (China’s funds makes up a decent portion of the total money lended), they need the rest simply for keeping the country from collapsing. They couldn’t finance a war vs China. A what a nice world we live in.

      • Kent says:

        Um, China actually only makes up 6% of total US public debt. The largest creditor is also the US itself, not a foreign power. only 25% of US total debt is owed to foreign countries anyway.

        And the funny thing is; France, Germany, Canada, Italy, Japan… all these countries have larger public debt as a % of GDP than the US does.

        • froofrou says:

          You can’t say it without cites, because we dont’ believe you :-) Cite it, dear.

        • TS says:

          You’re right about the debt to GDP ratio thing, so long as you only use the CIA of International Monetary Fund sourced numbers. If you use numbers sourced from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, the US has a higher debt:GDP than any of those countries except Japan. Click my name for a the Wikipedia list of countries by debt:GDP. The thing is that the other countries you named aren’t about to add $1 trillion+ to their debt this year as the US is. Here in Canada our budget deficit is likely to run in the range of US$25 billion. The American economy is roughly ten times the size of Canada’s in terms of nominal GDP, so that a US$25 billion deficit in Canada is equivalent to a $250 billion deficit in the US.

  8. Not funny! Too Soon!!!!111!!111!!

  9. chris says:

    they do? then how come i can never understand a damn word when i need customer service?

    • Captain Wow says:

      EXACTLY! I talked to someone in Mumbai for Apple support and I couldn’t understand a word he said. AND he had the audacity to say he couldn’t understand me because of my country accent.

      • Dealing with customer service in non English speaking countries brings out racism in me. I deal with outsourced people and the things I have to explain them just drive me nuts. Let alone having to talk to them. I either wish pain on them or wish I spoke whatever language they have over there just to get things done faster.

        I just can’t see how it is cheaper/more/effective/etc when they end up having to work through things more than once because they don’t catch what needs to be done the first time. Seems to just cause more work and customers HATE talking to them.

        • *explain to them. Ugh. English fail.

          *deports self*

        • Captain Wow says:

          Well, I hate it too. I get very angry when one of them picks up, but really most people just hang up and therefor their customer service isn’t tarnished. I just laugh my ass off when I see that Sprint or AT&T has great customer service. I can’t stand talking to them!

        • FaileV says:

          i think i have a knack for trying to understand different accents, i’ve never been too bothered by it, but it is strange trying to explain to someone you can’t understand, a problem you can’t understand. What get’s me the most is if I have a problem I have to wait until american business hours. I’m never home during american business hours, if we’re going to outsource can we please have 24/7 service

          • I used to work til midnight at a call center so I know it can’t be hard to find night shift people.

            • FaileV says:

              well it is night over there when it’s 9-5 here, but we can’t have service when it’s light over there, that would be silly >.> i rather dislike business hours. I can understand if the service is in the country the business hours conform to, but internationally it’s a load of crock in my opinion

              • Somehow that went right over my head. I must lack caffeine. Please reiterate for my failed brain cells this morning.

                • FaileV says:

                  I’m not communicating very well this morning so i’ll go slow for my sake to make sure I got it all. There are business hours here in the US because there are certain hours that people work, normally 9-5. When i had some tech trouble. I had to wait until the next day on my lunch break because the tech support only operated from 9-5. This would make sense if if was US based, but it’s outsourced to India where our 9-5 is really quite late for them. It bugs me that we are outsourcing labor to a place several time zones over, and still keeping 9-5 hours to call because 1. they are inconvient and 2. it makes more sense to me that if the people are going to work at odd hours in their time zone, it may as well be a 24 hour service

                  • Ah, fail on me. I getcha. If they are going to outsource anyway, they shouldn’t keep hours in which those poor folks would have to be up at an ungodly time to answer ya. If they are going to keep 9-5 hours anyway, might as welll keep it in the states.

                    Double fail on me for not reading it right the first time.

          • n8 says:

            A lot of times I fervently wish I could interpret Indian accents better. I go to at least one technical conference a year where at least a few interesting sessions are presented by smarter-than-feck Indians. I’d probably get a lot more out of those sessions if I wasn’t mentally two sentences behind!

            • rhorho says:

              I have to say this: I was on the phone for 2:05 with an Indian.
              The problem was intense, but he never lost patience, or
              stopped trying. He was patient to repeat himself, or put some-
              thing in different words, and was exceedingly nice. Sure, the
              language barrier wasn’t ideal, but his attitude more than made
              up for it.

              I have to agree with your smarter-than-feck assessment in
              his case, with a generous dollop of nicer-than-feck on top.

              • FaileV says:

                i’m never angry with those that answer, they’ve all been very kind and i know it’s not their fault, they just wanted a job. it is annoying though to deal with an accent many arnt used to, and trying to fix a problem where they dont really understand what’s going on in the first place

                • One of those hate the situation, not the people things.

                  • viking gal says:

                    This whole strand made me laugh in memory of an attempted phone conversation between my immigrated-from-viking-land father and my friend’s immigrated-from-Korea father. They both spoke very good American English, but they couldn’t understand each other at all! They both ended up putting the daughter on the phone… (face-to-face worked fine at graduation, though!)

                    • OhMyGoodness says:

                      India-through-the-phone has never been a problem for me, probably because I’ve got a real soft spot for the place and the people (Mum and Dad were born in the same military hospital in Pune – Empire kids – and my grandmother pretty well grew up in Government House in Bombay). One day I’m just going to go. But Indian “Engrish” is the best.

                • PortlandMark says:

                  My favorite bit of outsourcing is the guy in Georgia, I think, who is outsourcing the order taker at fast food restaurant drive throughs. You pull up, give your order to someone in India who probably doesn’t even eat beef, they type it into a computer, and you get your food. If they can pull this off, there’s gonna be a lot more service sector jobs lost here.

                  • pdq says:

                    *jaw drops, eyes unfocus*
                    Back in 1952 Walt Kelly – author of Pogo – thought it was a hilarious far-fetched bit to invent the drive-through funeral parlor. You, sir, sound like a modern day Walt Kelly trying out your bits of humor here.
                    Tell me you aren’t serious!

  10. rhorho says:

    It would be nice if it were only about money. According to Reuters, The U.S. trade deficit with China cost 2.3 million American jobs between 2001 and 2007.

  11. Crazy Irishman says:

    Eh, America controls world finance…
    If you discount the debt, America could easily finance a war with China…

    Besides, a war on that scale would be a massive economic boost for the US, given that China doesn’t have the capabilities to win. Having two nice big seas on either side of you, and a massive navy, give you Yanks a massive advantage.

    • froofrou says:

      Horse Sh!t.

      • n8 says:

        Thank FSM at least one Republican gets it. China has all the military it needs to bring the fight to America, not to mention piles and piles of money (the fuel of war.) Not to mention the fact that China has financed our current two wars… if we give them the finger and get in a fight with them, who’s going to finance THAT war!?

        • rhorho says:

          Moreover, China could simply sell our debt to enemy nations and throw
          us into economic chaos on the scale that would make our current
          recession look like having trouble breaking a $100 bill.

          • In bed… Not that I have any experience in the matter. >_>

            Ya, loan crap is what I have to slog through everyday. Don’t dick with your creditors unless you have a good lawyer that doesn’t require your creditor to pay. In this case our lawyer would be bullets and China pays for those…

            Yaaaaaaa, let’s not do that.

          • rhorho says:

            *counts the number of words that caused post delay*
            Wow, you got your money’s worth! ;-)

            We would totally fail toe-to-toe with the Chinese, but they’re
            smart enough to stay out of crazy conflicts. Considering the
            difference in government systems, the Chinese are better able
            to harness resources and redirect national focus than we are.

            Your ally question is food for thought. Both nations are inter-
            woven economically, so the destruction of either would lead
            to the economic crippling of most. It would be hard to argue
            either way in that regard.

            Both nations are also UN Security Council members, with veto
            power that would circumvent any “just going along with
            the rest” claims the smaller nations might otherwise make.

            Perhaps I’m too cynical to believe that national leaders pay a
            lot of attention to the right and wrong of a conflict. It seems
            like, on the world stage, the push is more towards betting on
            the horse that will likely win.

            • Not like there is any point on betting on the side that will lose anyway… Least if you bet on who is left, you are still in the game with a possibility to perhaps shift the board a bit. However that is way more coldhearted and logical than I like to be so I shall say…

              Horse likely to win… In bed… With Catherine the Great.

            • FaileV says:

              Oh yes, dictatorships are a rather efficient way of governing people…I think that is indeed a vulnerability though. If it really was a one on one war with China and the USA we would have the advantage that if we took out the leader we’d have an easier time taking over their government than vice versa.

              • rhorho says:

                I agree that it would be easier to organize people who
                are already organized. We’re not having very much fun
                trying to organize Iraq, to be sure, and Afghanistan is,
                well, Afghanistan. Frankly, I hope we don’t think that
                organizing other countries is our job in the future.
                Perhaps we would do better organizing ourselves.

                For fun and musing, here are some population estimates:

                China …………. 1,330,044,544

                U.S. ……………… 303,824,640

                Iraq ……………….. 28,221,180

                Afghanistan ……… 32,738,376

                California ………… 36,553,215

                Texas …………….. 23,904,380

                • OhMyGoodness says:

                  Is that right? Lawks – there’s more people in Texas than the whole of my country! (21, 007, 310)
                  I don’t hear people say that TX is overcrowded, so you can imagine the population-density here. It certainly has made some long-term strategists nervous that there are two countries with a billion-plus just nearby, busting at the seams, which our citizens in their wisdom treat with barely-concealed contempt. China? India? That’s where takeaway food and cheap clothes come from…

          • PortlandMark says:

            I remember some sci-fi book or other started with China winning a war with America without firing a shot: it made all American intellectual property available for free downloads from Chinese servers. Instant economic collapse in the US.

        • Crazy Irishman says:

          With the economic opportunities that present itself in such a war, private industry would be tripping over itself to invest…
          Yes, rich people still have money.
          They’re just not investing it or lending it to business, hence the credit crisis.

          China’s military is a joke, I’m sorry.
          Most of their military equipment is still aging, and if the US went to war,
          the oil would dry up and the European arms wouldn’t arrive.
          They have shitloads of men, and a massive, but crap airforce.
          The US Navy would have the Chinese Navy in a few days if it came to a
          confrontation.

          Korea is an outdated example, both sides had comparable technology.
          The US don’t even need pilots for their bombers anymore…..

          Compared with the military might of the US (never mind if its NATO), China would get RAPED.

          • China would have to be the aggressor for us not to have the entire world turn on us. Especially since nobody would want to help us financially and those private investors have just as much chance to want to leave the country as they do to want to invest in a war.

            You know… That whole will of the people bit.

          • froofrou says:

            As big of a flag-waving, patriotic Republican, I’m also not an idiot. I know better than to get into a war that can’t be won. Did you watch the Olympics this year? All of those people doing that amazing opening ceremony were CIVILIANS. Do you think the military is any less well-trained? Also, they have been known to brag that they can mobilize an army of nearly a billion rather quickly if necessary. The Chinese aren’t stupid. They know they have the USA by the short hairs, and are quite happy to keep us there. We may rail and scream and go wage war where we please, but China has to make one phone call and we’re neck deep in it. Don’t be stupid, please.
            -
            Also, do you not think that Russia would jump at the chance to join China against the United States? Do you not think North Korea, Pakistan, and whatever’s left of Afghanistan would join in a war against the United States? We’d get creamed. Mainly because we know for a fact that three out of the four countries I just mentioned have nuclear capabilities and nut jobs with their fingers hovering wildly over the red button.

            • Hovering wildly over the red button… That is a humorous image until reality makes my blood run cold.

            • Crazy Irishman says:

              Froo, Russia likes its existence too much (never mind its trade links with the EU)..
              The concept of MAD between the US and Russia still exists.
              It is very doubtful in the case of China (’cause their missiles are dodgy).

              Furthermore, it doesn’t matter how disciplined an army is, if it is as green as the Chinese army is, if it has inferior equipment, a massively outnumbered and outgunned navy, its supply of oil is cut off and its trading partners isolated.

              It would have to be Chinese aggression that brings about such a war however, as international support on the US side, particularly in Europe, would be crucial.

              • froofrou says:

                Does that tinfoil hat cut off circulation, or did you get it custom fitted?

                • FaileV says:

                  I agree that china has a lot to be wary off, we’d never make it going alone, but if china did start with the aggression, we would have a lot of allies on our side as well. It would come down to the third world war i think. The superpowers of the world would start picking sides, as soon as nukes come into the picture it would be a bloodbath and ‘the end of ze world’
                  In the end it is a stand off between giants. China would have trouble if they started sh!t with the US and the US would be in deep if they started sh!t with China.

                  • froofrou says:

                    See, that’s a good statement. But trying to fool yourself into thinking that China will never attack us or even think about attacking us or making any untoward moves against us simply because they have aging equipment, massively outnumbered, or are outgunned is to fool yourself into thinking that the sky is pink. That’s what Crazy Irishman has done. China is a superpower, as you’ve said. They would have no trouble waging war on anyone, should they choose to.

                  • Maxwell Silverhammer says:

                    Fire zee missiles!
                    But I am Le tired….
                    Well… have a nap.. ZEN FIRE ZEE MISSILES!

    • Rafiq of the many says:

      An advantage that easily overcome by ICBM’s.

      Not to be confused with IBM, ICP, BM’s or TCBY.

    • Ceefax says:

      Excellent plan, it’s not like the US couldn’t beat some tiny guys living in burrows with pointy sticks, go for a war with China, I’m sure you’ll do great :D

  12. n8 says:

    Uh, no, you do NOT want to get in a shooting war with China. We tried it once, it was called the Korean war. China does have the wherewithal to fight us to a standstill, and quite possibly kick our asses. Especially now that we’ve worn ourselves out trying to pacify Afghanistan and Iraq. Rah-rah flag waving is all well and good, but try not to believe ALL the hype.

  13. scum-bot says:

    Ain’t this Alberto Fujimori (As in, not chinese)

  14. Ian says:

    FFFFUUUUUUUUU-

  15. PortlandMark says:

    We’d be on the receiving end of the massacre, since we can’t build our missiles without parts made in Japan. I’m pretty sure we import a lot of our materiel, actually.

    • Steve says:

      China and Japan are different countries…

      Also, I work for a defense contractor, and it’s illegal for us to buy materials from China. We are only allowed to purchase US produced steel/aluminum/etc.

  16. griffonwing says:

    The vast majority of our national debt is owed to Federal Reserve Bank, not to foreign countries.

  17. rhorho says:

    Funny you should draw the comparison. In my
    mind’s eye, Australia is like Texas, only with
    better beaches, cooler animals and fewer illegal
    aliens…

    Now, what does “lawks” mean? Is it a sweet way
    to say Unc’s favorite word (bollocks)? Is it a play
    on “larks?” Are there three bears involved?

    • OhMyGoodness says:

      “Lawks” is probably something best asked of Unc, actually. It’s certainly nothing circulating around in our lingua franca.
      Off the top o’ me ‘ead… lawks is a word that would have replaced “Lord” as an exclamation (remembering the Commandment about not taking the name of the Lord in vain), much like “gosh”, “golly”, “strewth” (it’s God’s truth), “crikey” (God strike me if I’m lying) etcetera. The avoidance of the Deity’s name certainly has lingering effects.
      Involvement of three bears is probably courtesy of Terry Pratchett (someone will quote Nanny Ogg in “Witches Abroad” here, I’m sure).
      I must admit that comparisons between Texas and Australia will have to wait for direct obsevation – I’m down to mind’s eye, and I’m sure the thought of Froofrou commuting on her gun-racked horse (her idea, not mine) isn’t helpful. I’ve gotta come over.

      • rhorho says:

        Stetsons off to you for discovering PK’s secret hiding place for my comment!

        My grandmother used to say “Lands,” but had no idea why. It may have
        been “Lord’s hands” at one time, but it beats the h-e-double-hockey-sticks
        out of me…

        My favorite is “dern.” Is “darn” too close to “d@mn?”

        I’ve read that “gadzooks” is a contortion of “God’s hooks,” or the nails used
        on the cross. Conversely, when the term “good bye” was first used, it was considered to be a blasphemous shortening of the phrase “God be with you.”

        Thank you for the references to “strewth” and “crikey.” Those were new
        to me, and fun!

        If you venture this way, I have an extra room, and my cats do a good job
        of keeping the Baptists out of the yard. Most of our gun racks are confined
        to pickup trucks, and froo lives far enough away to pose no immediate
        threat. The majority of us have avoided the death penalty, so you can put
        that thought out of your mind, mostly…

        • OhMyGoodness says:

          PK has nommed away at some witty postings this mornin’ – I found your comment by accident
          *Admires Stetson anyway, thank’ee*

          Mate, if that shoulder-angel delivery service is up n’ running, I’ve got the Red Bull…
          *but the sun’s just risen, so I’m off for a quick surf*

  18. Emily says:

    OMG that would just end America. BTW how many states do you think that they could bye of us now?

  19. stevie w says:

    Saudi Arabia has dibs on getting their money out first. But which country has the more LOATHSOME human rights record ??

  20. Richard Obrzut says:

    China, who reports they are still a developing country say they need of aid from the devleoped countries!!
    So in 2009 Japan, Europe and the USA gave them $2.5 BILLION.
    HOW?? Did they scrape up the money to buy almost $1 TRILLION of U. S. Treasuary Notes on which WE will be paying interest !!

    Washington at it best


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