PHOTOSHOP… FOOLING THE GULLIBLE SINCE 1990
(George Bush)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: NObama08
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Well, I guess I’m first…
But it’s really true… People are gullible..
In fact I would like to change my previous comment to
But it’s really true…. People are Stupid…
You’re right about the stupidity. Why else would you mention being first?
Can we please all get over this first! first! first! business? Nasty leftover from kindergarten. How about a world-wide moratorium? Everyone just grow the hell up and get a life and stop it? It gives us the creeps thinking of you hovering, waiting for a new pic to be posted, so you can zoom in with your very, very boring firstness. Thank you.
You sound bitter. Never been first?
Well Immortal, it really *can* be very annoying. But in Lora’s
case she tempered it kind of nicely with additional words.
Well, immortality can get annoying, too – just watch Highlander again.
Why do you think I’m LTD ?
In my neck-of-the-woods, LTD is generally short for “limited” – I’m looking for reasons to disagree with the first thought here…
There’s a lot more people who laugh at the “first” people than actually seek to Make a “first” comment. On PK it’s particularly frowned upon. You can go have drinks and dances with the cat people if you don’t like.
“Frowned upon”? What is this, Harvard?
I thought it was a comedy/parody site, not CNN or Foxnews. My bad. I’ll go dance with the cat people now.
They know a joke when they see it.
It’s also frowned upon on FAILBlog.
Thanks for the primer.
You proved my point, but it was subtle, so I’ll spell it out for you: Lighten up, have a little fun, don’t get your panties in a wad.
Leave. Don’t insult regulars when you don’t even bother to consider the informal ‘rules of posting’ as they are kindly and respectfully explained to you.
“Regulars”? “Rules of posting,” informal or otherwise? Being offended by a non-”regular”‘s comment? Um. Wow. My life suddenly seems so much brighter than it did a few minutes ago.
Oddly enough, I still say First from time to time just to be an ass.
Still odder, I’m not offended by first posts. Maybe my world is full of more offensive things. Who knows?
You’re right, I just tend to skip them over myself.
Am I the only person who thinks it’s a little futile to command someone to “leave” a website? Will they go? Are they gone? Do they care?
To all of the above the answer is: probably not.
I always tell people…
*Pegs readers with cookies*
“Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics. Even if you win, you’re still a retard.”
It’s the internet. you don’t have any power over other people unless you’re a moderator of some sort and can do bad things to peoples accounts. and if you’re gonna use mod powers over petty stuff like someone yelling “first”, you don’t deserve to be a mod.
and here I am trying to influence people to stop arguing. XD Really though, everyone constantly talking about how annoying it is when people post first? that just encourages those people who enjoy seeing so many people respond to what they say. I might actually be tempted to post first if I did happen to be first, just so people would say something about what I said. XD I know no one’s gonna even read all this. Cookies at those who do though
…and yelling out “FIRST!” is fun why, exactly? I don’t see the appeal.
It appeals to the lowest common denominator. Re: ImmortalityLTD.
Who, I will note for the record, didn’t squee “first” him/herself. Don’t know them, but I don’t think what they said was that terrible.
I move we just ignore “first!” posts instead of getting into long threads about whether or not first-ing is bad….
Now who’s insulting whom? Nothing in any of my posts could be constued as an insult by anyone but the most hyper-sensitive.
I was simply reminding all why we’re here… to have fun.
I would have to say I take offense to the “panties in a wad” comment
ImmortalityLTD… my thongs do NOT get wadded up. Thats why
I wear them.
(mental note: add thongs to VooDoo doll)
One would probably suffice, I imagine….
Oh–Good Catch!!
Those things are hard as heck to sew, too.
Maybe I could get away with yarn…
Yarn thongs? Ow. That’s gonna leave burns where you don’t want them. And there’s nothing worse than a burn between toes.
Is deaddrift an amputee? Why wouldn’t he want a pair?
Yarn Thong – just screams ‘skid marked string’ to me…
I try to watch what I feed my Voodoo dolls
for that very reason…
Because it tends to get people’s panties in a wad.
Until they realize that that’s why everyone does it. Then they just ignore it.
I’ve been first before, and it was no thrill. Posting just to get peopel’s panties in a wad is called trolling, ImmortalityLTD. And for those who post it to “have fun,” it’s going tog give me an aneurysm someday along the lines of Lewis Black’s explanation of them. You’re on the same level as, “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.”
If you don’t acknowledge it when people say first then it takes the fun out of it. Another thing that takes the fun out of it is Fark.com’s approach:
If you type “first” or some sort of qualifying variant, your post will be time-warped so that you won’t be first (even if you were at the time) and “first” will be replaced with “Bewbies” or something. It’s quite a deterrent because then everybody laughs at you, as well.
Ultimately, ignore it and it will go away. Keep complaining about it and people are going to keep doing it to get a rise out of you. It’s your pick. In the mean-time, I’ll keep posting my “nawt secunds!”.
No, it doesn’t. That vast majority of “firsts” on this and other ICHC sites go unanswered. There are people who really, really enjoy it because they think if makes them cool…or whatever irrational reason they have for it.
Perhaps from now on, however, I’ll modify your strategy (“nawt secunds” encourages them to keep posting) to just answer them with something equally stupid, e.g., “Did you know that using sunblock reduces your risk of arthritis?”
They do it because they’re tossers.
As to getting upset, or even irritated by it – all that means is I’ve been casting pearls before swine…
Which makes you, as you say, a tosser.
Unc’s a pearl tosser, truly. But why does
that sound so dirty?
Fox News is serious business!!!
It’s okay, Steve. I called ahead, and the Cat People are
waiting for him…
*snickers*
The Cat People’s ears are shopped. Too many lens flares.
How were you able to communicate with them? Every time I read one of those comments I nearly die from unsafe doses of cute! I’ve been wanting to learn a second language, but LoL-cat will NOT be that language.
But, Steve, it would look so good on your resume! I hear Rosetta Stone is coming out with a Learn Lol-Cat edition soon.
If u knoes a few wurdses, thei is purrz wiff u.
If you go there, take some cheeseburgers,
especially at first. I remember some people
who didn’t…
Yesh; I r still missin mai leff leg. Teh kittehs, they ates it.
Ai member dat: Dey was all “OM-NOM-NOM,”
n u was all “Oh noes! Das mai leg!” But dey
didn’t lissen. Den dey stolded mai bukkit…
Rho, your cuteness is increasing at a rate inversely proportional to your intelligence. I believe it is still easily reversable, but be careful not to go too far!
If you can be a Libertarian with a splash of
left-wing nut job, then I can be intelligent
and irresistibly kewt at the same time.
Just sayin’.
Point taken!
Proceed with your intelligent cute-making!
I was first to get to a party the other night. It wasn’t nearly as exciting as you might think. We looked at the empty room for a minute and then went and sat at the bar to watch football and wait for everyone else to show up.
Reason 124359 why I don’t go to normal parties. Or abnormal parties for that matter.
I am vaguely intrigued by the idea of High Protocol Leather Party that Barton told me about but I am too laid back for that in my opinion. That and the idea of me in leather would scar most people, let alone actually seeing it.
*shudder* So I plan to avoid parties in general.
It was an Obligation Party (as in the person for whom the party was being given was somebody I report to, so good manners and all…) but once everyone showed up it was nice enough. At least it was a far nicer restaurant than I could afford if I was paying, so there’s that.
But I didn’t jump around yelling “First!” when I got there, either.
You didn’t? I thought that went right along with the “drinks and dances” like they sometimes have at parties? How can that be? B)
No dances. Too stuffy. ;o)
It was a more-than-one-fork kinda place.
Perhaps the stupidity of the general public is the fault of society– we practically tend to their every need!
Just look at television, hollywood, and magazines: they tend to stay in the 6th to 8th grader span of vocabulary, etc. It’s so sad.
I don’t get it… Is this picture photoshopped? Why is he holding the book upside down?
Follow the link in the caption.
Yknow, he could’ve been showing the pictures to the kids… obviously he’s not the one reading.
Because he can’t read.
Oh my god, fool, the picture is photoshopped. Apparently he’s not the only one with a reading comprehension problem.
amen kufr! forge is too busy bush-bashing to understand english or logic atm
There’s a logic atm?
*lines up with bankcard*
that makes us human
Gullible yeah ….. stupid no , cause this pic ain’t shopped ….. it’s clipped ‘as-is’ from the original national coverage of the ‘event’
And W fooling them since 2000.
dumb comment
wankers.
making bad captions since forever.
Amen.
There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once — shame on — shame on you. You fool me, you can’t get fooled again.
———————————————————————————————-
Dubya attempting to co-opt Texas and Tennessee into his verbal wreckage. The saying he was trying to dredge up was “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Even better, Dubya was speaking at a literature magnet school. I’m sure it was a learning experience for the kids. East Literature Magnet School, Nashville, Tennessee, Sep. 17, 2002 [Audio Clip (foolmeonce)] [Source: public domain]
That was voiceshopped and you know it
For all those unfamiliar, here’s the video. [LINK]
You misunderestimate me.
I know human beings and fish can coexist peacefully![Link]
[LINK]
Hahah…Bush Fish! Nice.
I love how people can be in favor of legislating religion, but if someone proposed we legislate a religion OTHER than Christianity, they would have a fit! The First Amendment was written for everyone, not just Christians. /end mini-rant
It’s ok Steve. We’ve had this rant quite a few times now. You’re not alone.
I’m not?!?
I…I didn’t know…there are others?
*feels comforted*
(I work with the “legislate Christianity” side)
There is one thing at which Dubya has succeeded wildly: he has made his father’s speeches look coherent and intelligible by comparison!
However, I’ve seen a bunch of quotes attributed to both Dubya and Dan Quayle. Dubya’s speeches are masterpieces of meandering incoherence, but I think the Internet makes him look worse than he probably is.
Wait, attributed to Dubya, or to his dad? Daddy Bush tended to meander a lot, while Dan Quayle was just a hopeless sack of fail. Daddy Bush might have been a meanderer on purpose, to confuse the listener into thinking the speech meant what the listener wanted it to mean, and to have wiggle room later. Dubya just gets lost and starts making up words (ex. “misunderestimated”) and pronunciations.
I think it was Dubya, at least. I wish I could remember the URL of the quotes site so I could check…
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I think I may have used the wrong adjectives, but last time I heard Bush speak, I remember fail…leading to more fail…leading to more fail, and all of it was only peripherally related to the thing before it.
Wait, you mean misunderestimated and strategery aren’t real words? And to think I’m integrated them into my daily vocabulary.
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*sigh*
In bed…
As in “Sorry my strategery resulted in your head banging against the wall. I misunderestimated the size of the bed again.”
Now there’s a man I haven’t seen for a while. Happy New Year! Rho & Froo reckoned you were alive and kicking, but there were a few people wondering where in hell you’d gone.
Could b*sh the lesser be the unholy offspring of Bush 41 and Dan Quayle? It would explain a lot.
Thanks, Tessie. I was just getting over my bullet-firing penis dreams
through intensive therapy. Now I have to start all over…
*sighs; speed-dials therapist*
This article provides a possible explanation. [LINK]
That is a possible explanation. Then again, maybe he is just that dumb!! The man actually said that “too many OBGYN’s in America are not free to practice their love.” Huh? That’s kinda like saying “too many proctologists in America aren’t free to practice their plumbing”…what an idiot…What kinds of “literature” do you think will wind up in the Dubya Presidential Library?
I remember that. xD
I lawled.
But the site is right; if you look, the pictures on the back of the kid’s book and his are reversed. Unless he got the one misprint, I mean.
*using best Dubya impression*
Oh, I’m not questifying the pictures “photoshoppedness”…simply that too many of our American public have misunderestimated my Intelligence Quota…err…my intellectuability…um…you know…my IQ…
*SNORK!*
The requisite coffee-snork, thank you
I still remember Quayle addressing the NAACP with, “A mind is a terrible thing to lose.. or not to have… in any case, it’s really bad.”
We Unix geeks like to use C|N>K. That means coffee, piped through nose, and output onto keyboard.
Seth, does that apply to Diet Coke as well?
Sure! You could use dC|N>K for clarity if you like…
Seth you are awesome!! Anyone who knows the movie Freaks, is OK in my book. I dated a Film-major in College and we had to watch a ton of movies like that, for some reason…
Eunichs?!? What are they DOING to you poor boys?!?!
That abbreviation is cool, but I still enjoy the long form: caffeinated nasal lavage. I’m all for confusion in the ranks
I just had a “History of the World” flashback about Eunichs…
“eunuchs”
Congratulations.
CALDONIA!!
The complete phrase was “Too many obgyn’s in America are not free to practice their love with women”, which I think everyone will agree is a sentence that seems to suggest more than it really does.
But suggesting more than what’s said is a complicated ideal that Americans either don’t get or don’t want to get, or we understand and make fun of it anyway.
“What kinds of “literature” do you think will wind up in the Dubya Presidential Library?”
Comic books?
Cowboy stories?
Back issues of “Soldier of Fortune”?
“The Little Boy who Everybody Said Wasn’t as Good as His Daddy, but He Killed a Bunch of People, so Ha ha”?
High Times,
The Recipe for Jack Daniels,
A copy of The Boy Who Cried Wolf,
Running a Country for Dummies,
and a VHS tape of “Cops”
“Dr. Killjoy or How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb!”
High Times?
The word cannabis has far too many sylables for GW. If he had read a few issues he may have taken the time to make a sensible drug policy instead of continued funding for the “War on Drugs”.
Maybe he just really loves pointless wars that he can’t win?
Making it illegal doesn’t prevent it’s use, it simply puts people in jail for using it and makes it possible for organized crime to make a profit selling it. HOLY CRAP! That sounds like the same conclusion the government came to regarding prohibition of alcohol….interesting.
Lots of politicians vote to fund the so-called “war” on drugs. Its one of those things that everyone can get behind and look good for the cameras while they pretend to be non-partisan. It’s the political equivalent of saying: “Puppies are cute”, or “Ice cream tastes good.”
The reason pot is still illegal in America is because you just can’t effectively tax and regulate it. Plus, pot’s like nuclear power, it’s been a bugbear for so long that most people have a knee-jerk reaction against it.
Are you a Libertarian, then?
I consider myself a Libertarian, with a splash of left wing nut-job.
Is it too much to ask that our “free” country actually allow us the freedom to do as we please?
(as long as we don’t infringe upon the freedom of others of course!)
The “freedom for corporate shenanigans” bit
(a.k.a. “deregulation”) makes me a bit squicky.
It’s the political equivalent of saying: “Puppies are cute”, or “Ice cream tastes good.”
`
There was a movie (the title of which escapes me at the moment) where Chris Rock was running for President, and made a speech saying that he was in favor of good health, “but my opponent is in favor of cancer”.
Could that movie be Head of State ?
I’m still cracking up over the idea of a GWB Presidential Library. In country towns we have a few buses that are now mobile libraries for kids. They have lots of books like Meg and Mog, the Wiggles On Holiday and probably In The Night Garden with Igglepiggle. I’m seeing an appropriate gesture here.
I applied for a job driving the Bookmobile. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it, but how cool would that have been?
That would actually be a pretty good gig. Watching kids light up when words come to life is gold. More than GB deserves, now that I think about it.
Ah, but the real question is, is our children learning? Because we need our children to learn so that when they grow up they can get a good job and put food on their families.
Bwahahahahahah
Yes, because none of us EVER make verbal gaffs.
Of course we do. It’s just that W tends to make them about every other time he speaks.
Like Joe Biden.
One of the main reasons I enjoy watching him speak. Either of them, actually.
He’s been smart enough to keep quiet lately at least.
Read: locked away and sent to another country until he can have that filter between his brain and mouth installed.
Why doesn’t Bush have one of those??
They would have to retrofit for the last 8 years of presidency. Biden hasn’t started his term yet, so there’s time to get it installed. They will forget about the last 30 years of Senator-ship, since once he reaches the White House, it ceases to be.
They tried to install one, but couldn’t locate his brain.
*swoons*
*shoots at buzzards circling over pdq*
My corpus thanks you. I really didn’t need another after-life, alternate-life, life-after-life or other bizarre episode after being digested by vultures. *shudder*
Tell your corpus it’s welcome. You’ve been through a lot
lately, but at least you’ve never been to the Pet Sematary.
There’s always next week, though.
*thinks maybe she has said too much*
Joe Biden can spout what crap he likes, since no one really cares unless Obama gets JFKed…
The last VP whose voice I’d recognise was Gore, and that’s because he was all over the TV like a rash in 2000…
I love that you made JFK a verb.
I only make verbal gaffes when they have the possibility of embarrassing me in front of a group of people and/or ruining my chances at a job interview. Do I get partial credit?
*Hands over a five-credit voucher*
I know the feeling…
That’s why some people rehearse because they happen to be in a position important enough to get it right the first time. Then again, he makes them often enough for it to be a spectacle.
So since we are using the excuse of everybody makes gaffs, what about all those people in power who manage not to make gaffs every five minutes?
Okay look, he might be human, but he’s the president, he makes speeches, he has speech writers, he has time to practice, I dare say he has everything he needs to ensure that his speech is a good one. he hasn’t made just one gaff, he constantly does a poor job of speaking.
Equate it to any important speech you’ve ever made. did you make up words, go off on tangents, mix up important concepts or mispronounce words? Is that something you do with every speech you make? If so then perhaps you should find a couch of some sort to help you.
The President needs to be a good orator, it’s as simple as that.
I have one word for that: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………………….
ZOMBIE!!! *grabs shotgun*
Wait, nevermind. She is just mocking the big O… Rest easy everybody. Nothing to see here. NIZZLEFLUTE THE WALKING DEAD!!! *BAAM*
Oh wait, that was just Cheney with his latest meal…
Ok, we already know what a vegetarian zombie eats (GRAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSSS!), now what does a plumber zombie eat? DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSSSSS!!!!!
Nah, that’s just where you find them since that is where their life ended up.
Zombie Questionnaire:
What is it doing when liquid falls from the sky?
- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSSSS!!!!!!
What do plumbers work on?
- DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
What’s the name for the ground you drive ATVs over?
- TERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
What is it called when you decide not to drink alcohol?
- ABSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
-
Sorry
What are zombies made of?
REEEEMAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Favoured method of transport?
TRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIIINSSSS!!!!
Jeez Louise, you reckon YOU’RE sorry…
*is too dignified a zombie to reply*
*no is not*
It’s not zombie material, but these cracked me up fiercely:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2000/06/14pirates.html
I don’t know how many of you here watch WWE wrestling *hangs head in shame*, but those are similar to the skit they had with an old school wreslter named Farook, who only says the word ‘DAMN!’ when confronted with things. They sent him out ‘on a date’ with one of the divas, and when he was ordering he’d order things like ‘YAMS!’ and ‘HAM!’ and ‘SPAM!’ and other things that rhymed with ‘DAMN!’. Good times
WWE – the last common dramatic form to use the soliloquy to advance the plot….
Shakespeare would have relished it… groundlings and all…
as an addendum: The Bard would view what we call ‘theatre’ as pretty dull and lifeless… He’d probably throw rocks…
I’m not sayin” the stuff’s timeless or anything, but it’s a good way to relax after a day’s work. It IS the last great use of the soap opera, after all
oh gone are the days of a good heckling. Am I the only one that goes to the theater and gets the urge to throw a cabbage?
Verbal gaffes. A “gaff” is a large iron hook attached to a pole or handle and used to land large fish.
Sorry for being a spelling nazi…:o)
My wang approves but keep that hook away!
I’ll save my gaff for the trolls, thanks!
Yay!
None of us is the President of the United States of America.
Uh, actually… that’s not, uh, totally true…
Gaffes.
You jumped the gun, sadly: You weren’t quite 12 hours late…
The word gullible has been removed from the dictionary. Seriously, look it up.
ZOMG, you’re right! Why would they do such a thing?
D;
But it was my favorite
Fail. Look it up again. Webster online dictionary.
*snork*
*points at gullible troll and giggles*
*joins froo in pointing and giggling*
Uhhh..Nick…he was referring to the Actual Dictionary…it’s been removed from the PRINT Version, not online…
*snickers and walks away*
No, it was taken off of Webster’s Online, too. Nick didn’t look it
correctly.
Do you get the feeling Nick tears into the Publisher’s Clearinghouse envelopes everytime he opens the mailbox and sees “You may have just won $1mil.” ???
What are you saying, MG?
Take note: I just received such a notification, *AND*
attached the **SECRET STICKER** to my entry form…
*struts off*
*catches up to Rho*
Guess what!!!! I was on this website, and like, it said, like, you know, that I was, like the 999,999th visitor and I won a prize. So, like I clicked on it and gave them all my information, you know, like social security number and like credit card info, you know, and like they said I’m registered to win a big prize!!!!
Sweet! I didn’t want to make this public, but considering how wealthy and popular i will be shortly i figure it does not matter.
I just got an Email from a banker who represents Former president MGembe from Eastern Zambia. I will shortly be getting a check for 10 million dollars. All i have to do is deposit the check, and send them back a bank fee of 2,000 dollars.
RICH I TELLS YA! I AM GOING TO BE RICH!!!
Jeepers!!! We’re ALL going to get rich at the same time!!! What are we possibly going to do with our newfound wealth!!!???
Buy more internets!! W00T!!
Internets for everyone!!!
“What are we possibly going to do with our newfound wealth!!!???”
`
Fill the swimming pool with it and dive in, of course.
We could bail out GM…
*crickets*
Hey Mother, you forgot to give me your credit
card security code and the expiration date.
I’ll wait for it. *waits*
My credit card number is 6 (I have one of the originals!!) and the expiration date is 13/09
Eeeeexcellent!
*taps fingertips together all greedy like*
*snork*
Froo, when you’re not busy, I’ve linked a funny.
*snorks* again
*laughs, and keeps previously stated opinion to self*
You fail, Nick!
It is *NOT* on Webster Online Dictionary.
Nick, you may have missed the Webster Online Dictionary and used Websters (pluralised) instead. That was the older site, and has a few other “legacy” words that are now, like “gullible”, no longer available to use. Check both sites for cross reference, and let us know how you go. We’ll all be curious.
Wow.
That is all.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
I can’t believe that someone actually FELL for that!
lawl
George Bush: destroying the world with a huge big wrecking ball since 2000.
Yup. This man needs a photoshopped picture to make him look stupid.
*snort
It’s not a fake, it really is a picture of the dumbest president in human history.
Hah! +1 to you, sir or madam.
A good quip, but Bush isn’t really as dumb as some say.
I’ve heard it said that his problem vis-a-vis intelligence is that he could walk into a room with John Nash, Marilyn vos Savant, Noam Chomsky, and Stephen Hawking — and Dubya would think he himself was the smartest person in the room.
Aha! Ego rears its ugly head! “Better to be silent and have people think you’re a fool than to speak and prove it”…
Interesting point. I’ve met, known, worked with people who aren’t especially brainy and/or educated. Most of them are nice people with good hearts and plenty of positive qualities, and I wish them no ill will.
Dumb combined with arrogant and narcissistic is another story altogether.
True, but he isn’t really holding the book upside-down–that’s been Photoshopped to make him look even dumber.
You can even see on the book’s back cover where his finger was.
Okay….. The book they have in their hands says ‘America’ When in fact the book they were reading was ‘My pet Goat’. I do not believe the stuff on the blackboard was there either, but yes….He freaking had the book upside down >.< Moron…. Thank God we got a smart Black guy next because if it were McCain I was going to assume they waived the IQ rule
This picture was taken in 2002. He was reading the book you are thinking of when he was in the classroom when the towers went down. The stuff WAS on the blackboard. And NO, he did not have the book upside down. GAH. If you had actually gone to the website mentioned in the pic, then you would know this and not have embarrassed yourself by referring to others intelligence when yours is surely lacking.
Yes; as I said above, the picture on the back of his book is a reverse of the girl’s.
But he was still a Durp.
So did you vote for him cause he is black or because you like what he stands for?
Poster attempt fail.
):
The following notorious poem is composed completely of lines uttered by Dubya:
Make the pie higher:
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked? They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our
wings take dream. Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
Fake.
Nope.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/piehigher.asp
The thing is though, almost no one would even suspect he wasn’t stupid and/or inattentive enough to get it wrong. Hence the popularity of this one.
Ah, Snopes, how I do love thee! Link in name, of course.
I tried to post the snopes link earlier, but PK ate it…thanks for having my back Kuro
No prob. That really has to be the most epic poem of all time. We’re doing a poetry recitation contest in English, and I wish I could do that one.
Well, if the poem doesn’t have to be a Kuro original…I’d go ahead and do it…of course I failed my Englishness Class …
Wow. Your second fail in as many days: Yesterday you said that China owes
the U.S. trade deficit money, and today you argue that Bush didn’t say what
he was recorded saying…
New troll???
A New Troll appears…
Fight
Magic
Use Item
Flee
Dance like a white man on crack with a turnip eating his groin
Don’t think so. His/her name has come up in the past.
Perhaps he/she needed time to work up to troll status???
*Slowly slaps her gaff menacingly against her left hand*
We don’t need a bigger boat for this one…I can take it from my JetSki.
*tries to look serious about diss troll gaffing on a JetSki*
*busts up laughing*
Was it the tinfoil tiara? Is that…over the top?
That’s serious commitment. *Helps secure gaff-hook to gaff-pole with gaffer-tape*
Frost Giant, actually.
Perhaps, but I have Mjollnir and a belt of storm-giant-strength (+6) so you’re toast.
I just have a cache of wands of fire. I’m good.
Also, you will want to wear gloves since Mjollnir drains life from the wielder if they aren’t protected like Thor protects himself…
So he’s quite literally (in an imaginary sense) Toast, if you break out the fire wands.
Don’t worry, I have an ove glove and some latex ones. I’m prepared for any eventuality.
And some eventualities we would never consider…
Mmmmm, toast.
“I just have a cache of wands of fire. I’m good.”
`
[meekly] Um, I have the big box of Crayolas, the one with the sharpener.
You can decorate the body.
Doh! All my wands are Wands of Wonder. And they always seem to shoot the damn flowers.
Hmmm…I need to make sure that one of my classmates hasn’t discovered this site; this sounds exactly like him. During the election, he insisted that Obama wouldn’t touch a Bible, and when the teacher found a picture of Obama touching a Bible, he insisted that it was ‘shopped. He was also sure “Make the Pie Higher” was a fake.
No I didn’t. You twist my words to mean what you want them to mean, instead of what they mean.
You’d make a good Minbari.
Your words, untwisted, copied and LINKed:
“If we call the trade deficit due, they owe US.”
Next thing you know, he’ll claim a name-jacking…
It’s his only hope…
With a penis…
…in bed.
<fin.
… with a fine penis, in a four poster bed with
Magic Fingers, in the Finger Lakes.
Yeah, it was supposed to be in italics but i fudpucked it up….
Finger Lakes? Is that Corning, or Syracuse?
That was
Epic
On an Epic scale.
-applauds-
I just love legitimate the-ay-ter.
Yep, when I saw people point to this picture as though it was real, I knew that Bush Derangement Syndrome had finally reached epidemic status.
Incidentally, the ability to speak well in public has no actual correlation to intelligence whatsoever.
The ability to speak well in public may have no actual correlation to intelligence; but actions do.
His actions make him look worse than his speeches do >.<
However I don’t think you have to listen to George for too long before making the correct assertion that intelligence levels are not particularly high…
You might enjoy this read. Actually the chart on Point 1 (listed last) goes a
long way showing what no Bush (either H.W. or W.) would like anyone to
see. Click on my name for [LINK].
Given the past eight years as his resume, I don’t rely on his inability to speak in public as the only sign of his lack of intelligence. I have heard him speak publicly about baseball when he owned the Texas Rangers, and he had no problems discussing baseball as a topic. He never stammered or tried to use words that were “over his head”. That being said…why the sudden change when he became President? Could it be that he was out of his league?
It could be that when talking in Texas about the Texas Rangers, he wasn’t afraid to sound like a Texan. In his presidential speeches, if you notice, he masks his Texan accent as much as possible, and that makes him fumble around for words.
When he speaks freely (in a heavy Texan drawl) he is quick, witty and intelligent sounding.
Could be, but I think that when speaking on subjects that he’s comfortable with, he does well…as most people do. When trying to sound Presidential, he just comes off as a rube. Now, I don’t know if that’s because he is trying to mask an accent, like you said, or that he’s just too intellectually challenged on those subjects…but your point is valid.
Still why you don’t hire a plumber to be an English teacher. Don’t govern if you don’t know how… ; )
I knew I could count on DWN to crystallize my thoughts so eloquently!!!
I do my humble little part, ma’am. *hugs*
When clarity of meaning escapes us,
Or sometimes a thought will vex us,
Have no fear
He’ll make it so clear,
He is our might DeathWyrm Nexus…
*pounds keyboard with fists*
“mighty DeathWyrmNexus”
Dammit…another limric ruined by my awful typing skills
Lymric…limryc…cmrily…dammit…all this talk about Dubya has given me the Stoopids!!!
limerick… *huggles* I still love you.
*crawls over to corner, curls up in fetal position, sucks thumb*
There once was a mother named Goose
Who one day found her words had got loose.
Death came to her rescue
Said, “How I adore you!”
And her whimpers and sniffs went vamoose.
*covers mothergoose in warm blankey and gives cookie*
That was awesome pittypat.
*raises head, wipes tears*
l-i-m-e-r-i-c-k
Does anyone have cookies?
*sniffle*
*throws tantrum*
Dammit…refresh button BEFORE posting about cookies
*noms cookies*
*snuggles back under blankey*
*pets and comfort the MG*
I heard a psychologist note that when Bush talks about things like education, health care, and promoting the general welfare, he stutters, stammers, and sounds incoherent. However, whenever he talked about killin’, suddenly, he sounds coherent. What does that suggest to the class?
Do you want the Freudian answer or one I made up that involves Freudian thinking?
Any answer that has something to do with Freud is that he wants to screw his mother.
He’s a sociopath?
The body reveals much about a lying person. Any polygraph technician
knows that much. More interesting to me are body cues one emits while
lying. It’s as though the lizard brain reacts against the cerebrum. Pupils
dilate, arms can fold, shifting and posture typically changes, and, in our culture, people sometimes nod their heads side-to-side (to indicate “no”)
when telling lies. There are other signs, as well. 70% of in-person
communication is non-verbal, so the field is an interesting one.
During the Clinton years, much was made of his raising eyebrows while
stressing a point. Opponents made much of his habit, claiming that one
could tell that Clinton was lying whenever he raised his eyebrows. I
started watching Clinton shortly after hearing the speculation, and
noticed that Clinton had evidently trained himself not to raise his
eyebrows for emphasis, though he had done so often in the past.
Bush would have a harder time controlling his “body’s rebellion” with
this manifestation. It’s puzzling why he hasn’t resorted to reading his
more outlandish lies from teleprompters or notes. There is, perhaps,
an element of righteousness, or good ol’ fashioned stubbornness, in his
makeup that keeps him from seeking ways to hide his lies.
How does that sort of thing work for chronological liars? the kind that lie so often that it is their first response. Do they still have the average signs or does it change?
That gets into why polygraphs can fail. Deluded and sociopathic
people don’t necessarily register the normal “guilt” related body
rebellion.
And then there’s the advent of Botox which throws it all out
of whack. And we know Georgie boy has work done!
Hey, hey, now! Those brain injections were “medicalatory
needfullistic:” His skull would have fallen in without
counterpressure…
Geez! Cut the guy some slack…!
Semi-related, but a couple of years ago in my biotechnology class, my teacher (who was and still is my favorite teacher of all time) showed us a movie that said, among other things, that the actions of an average corporation indicate definite sociopathy. Between that and genetically altering E. coli bacteria, it was the best class I’ve ever taken.
Average corporation and average politician.
To me, W. is a combo. of Dyslexia, ADHD, sociopathy,
and goofy. Heavy on the goofy.
I saw that movie, but in a far less enjoyable class, the teacher (not a prof, didn’t even have a doctorate >.>) was a bit of a wingnut. We were learning something about, retroactive memory or…something, i forgot what it is called but basically instead of learning all about computers in case you have a problem, you have a person near you that knows about computers. She started talking about how the brain is too small to hold all our memories and they really float around outside our heads, and that’s how psychics do what they do >.<
She also said something about this mysterious rock at stone henge that if you touch it, it’s warm…which for those that don’t know, it’s just a different sort of rock that withholds its heat better than the rocks normally associated with stone henge.
ugh sorry i’m just rather pissed i wasted time and money on that class.
Genetically altering e.coli? What did you doo?
It probably had something to do with stirring uni food…
Our last lab of the year was genetically modifying E.coli so they’d glow under a UV light. We introduced jellyfish genes into their systems, and they started making the phosphorescent proteins that make some jellyfish glow. It was really cool, seeing the blacklight go on and the petri dish suddenly start glowing. <3 I think that class decided my career for me. It was amazing.
-
However, to make sure the only bacteria that survived were the ones that had taken on the gene, we also added a drug resistance gene. We had to bleach them right after the lab to ensure they didn’t, um, accidentally make it into the cafeteria food.
Spectacular! What colours could you get?
We used to joke about glow-in-the-dark stuff after the Chernobyl blast. Now we… what? Get luminous poo?
Seriosly – would this help detect E.coli in the food chain, or just make electron micrographs pretty?
That could be Chronic, or habitual liars. I’m thinking the time frame is irrelevant.
I hate chronological liars – always telling you it’s 9:15
when it’s really 9:00.
My husband’s alarm clock is a chronological liar. He sets it ahead so you think you’re late when you aren’t.
I will excuse my dumb with excitement that one of our baby keets hatched today>.> I should totally get one dumb statement today.
hehe. You probably meant PATHological, not CHRONOlogical, but it made for a funny
I must have mixed up chronic and pathological…at least there is more funny in the world
froofrou? j/k
LMAO!!!
(also j/k)
You two can collectively kiss my white heinie
Thanks anyway, but I don’t want to smell like ginger all day…
Charro’s heinie smells like ginger. Mine smells like roses, dontha know.
Sure it does…
So that’s where my can of Glade went!
Oh, I don’t know. Watching your comments has been quite illuminating, sunshine… Keep going. Oh, please don’t stop. I’m still recovering from your trade deficit lecture.
The scary thing about this picture is not that he was reading the book upside down which of course he wasn’t but that so many could believe it. He’s such an idiot that people could actually believe that he could hold a book upside down and not notice. It’s no wonder that so many people hated him and rejoiced when Obama was elected. He’s going to get a lot more respect from the world at large than Shrub ever did.
Still, you can’t Photoshop audio files. Not live, anyway
Them poor OB-GYN’s, unable to practice their luvs!
I knew I was in the wrong business.
You are working hard to put food on your family…
Heh, whaddayouknow. I actually had no idea the photo was faked. I thought it was a case of being handed the book upside down and not looking at it. There ya go.
Snopes.com is a wonderful website, my friend…try it sometime.
I hate Snopes, look at the stuff they cite sometimes, their research is garbage. I don’t know this case, but it is incredibly risky to say “Snopes said it is false, therefore it is false,” you let yourself get taken in by the biases the site presents
Duly noted.
This comment is totally shopped. The parenthesis are all wrong. And biases seems wrong, looks skewed. Totally calling shinnanegans.
*looks at my post* Ya, that’s shopped too.
Still better than letting the general populace believe they are going to get $10K from a bank in Tanzania if they send their bank info for the transfer. I don’t think the research is horrible, even if now and then you get a squirrelly source. The people need someplace to go to find this stuff out as falsehoods. If not snopes, are YOU going to provide this service??
Bingo. Snopes’s conclusions are not entirely reliable.
Sometimes their “source” for someone having said or done something is no better than “the person in question said he/she did/didn’t do it, therefore it is so.”
These are the exception, not the rule though, and some of them are on things like the 50 pound cat. If the guy says it’s a fake because he made it, then, duh, that’s a reliable source. Personal accounts do mot automatically become bad sources simply because 15 news sources didn’t also cover it. Besides, who do you think provides the info to the news sources??
it’s still WAY better than letting Joe Average be without any place to go to check up on this sort of stuff.
Yes. I will now check up every insignificant thing I see on snopes. Just to make sure. It there really cheese on my sandwich? Snopes will know!
*steals cheese out of Cake’s sandwich*
Can’t we all just have a laugh at the idiot’s expense, whether it’s photoshopped or not?
HEY!!! That’s the spirit!!!!
Sure! As long as no one cares when we do the same to Obama.
I’ve said many times…I’m an equal opportunity idiot basher…if he proves to be or does some idiotic things as President, I’ll bash along…of course, Dubya set the bar so high…
and another nasal whine…
Photoshopped or not, pretending it wasn’t made for much funnier captions than this one.
I’ve always been understood that, on this site, Bush is not an actual president, but instead, just a fictional character. I think the majority of the folks who view this site understand the line between the two.
Bush, on this site, is like one of those funny drawings they do in the park where your head is huge and all your features exaggerated. It’s purely for fun.
The same could be said about any politician that’s made their way onto this site. It’s comedy. It’s Parody. You can’t take it too seriously.
“always been understood that” — “always understood that”* <– I made a Bushism myself.
Thank you for clarificating
lol.
But it’s a perfect example of what we were talking about, though. I had a rather intelligent thought, and probably ruined it in everyone’s eyes because “I don’t no make speak good”. So I probably lost all of my credibillification.
What’s wrong? You not be Englishness comprestanding so goodly? You are muchly credibilified in my vision.
*eye twitches at memories of past Phoenix Wright games*
*hands Kuro xanax*
There, there, darling…
You… you… *gasps for breath* SHTOP! *wipes drool off chin* I’m an asthmatic and the laffings, they will murderifify me!!
Problem is that fictional characters generally don’t start real wars, provided there’s not a sequel to the Satanic Verses, at least. His stupidity has consequenses. Sites like this, for some, are the only places where one CAN whale away on a truly deserving idiot.
So the war is also fiction! Hurray!
//off to lalaland.
The picture is a thousand times funnier than the banner. Seriously, pointing out photoshopped pictures is funny? hum….
Pointing out photoshopped pictures…
Not Funny
Since 19somethingoranother.
It’s mainly because SOME conservatives here have their knickers in a twist over the imbalance of bushisms to everything else here. It’s as though, in their universe, Bush DOESN’T gaffe 10 times more often than other politicians. LOL
At least he’s clean, if not articulate
LOL I’ll give you that. Physically fit you can have also, if you like.
He’s still an old guy, hehe. Not sure if ‘healthy for his age’ and ‘physically fit’ are the same thing in his case
I read something once that said he was probably the fittest president in modern history?
What I like about this one (and makes it hard for many to laugh) is that it makes fun of us, the public, who can be so ready to believe something we see when it matches our point of view. And on this site, we’re used to being the ones mocking others, not being mocked ourselves. Most internet users are pretty cynical on this kind of stuff these days, but we still love it when it makes a fool of someone we can’t stand. This caption simply makes a fool of us. Turn about is fair play; I thought it was pretty clever.
This is just like the Darth Vader Police picture. It was funny but then in the comments some guy pointed out that it’s a picture from SG1 or some other sci-fi crap. Pointing it out wasn’t funny, the picture was. Same thing here. The picture is funny, pointing out the reality of it isn’t. But you are correct about turn about being fair play. That’s why that crude picture with Obama and Ted Kennedy sitting by eachother and both thinking “I don’t want to be assassinated, maybe I shouldn’t sit so close to this guy” made me chuckle.
There’s room for both, imo. If people post what they know about a photo
for educational purposes, there’s no harm, imo.
Agreeing with you, if someone posts “that’s not funny because that’s not
the guy in the photo,” etc., the ensuing troll bashing meets with much glee.
Some guy? Try about 37 Way Too Serious guys…not to mention they couldn’t agree whether it was Jin-Roh or something else. So very much not the point!
If you have to explain a joke, there’s a damn good chance it just wasn’t funny. :-\
…then again, “funny” is a personal opinion.
That it certainly is. I find a lot of stupid things funny which is probably just indicative of myself so I’ll just shut up now.
It’s good to see SOMEONE got it!
Click my name for an article revealing a possible medical cause of “Bushisms.”
It took forever to find this again. Googling “Bush stupid” yields 1,190,000 hits…!
[LINK]
Interesting article, rho.
I may have posted to this effect before, but somebody-or-other who works in a mental health setting said that if they’d never seen or heard of b*sh, but somebody walked into their clinic that:
– couldn’t speak a coherent sentence
– fell down a lot
– showed other signs of impaired coordination (e.g. choking on food)
– laughed and giggled inappropriately
– had a “flat affect” (that deer in headlights stare)
they would be assumed to be in for evaluation/treatment, because those things, while not necessarily symptoms of a specific illness, are all “soft signs” of neurological problems.
`
Personally, given that he was born with approximately four-fifths of a brain to begin with, and then spent the next thirty years shredding that little brain molecule with alcohol and drugs, I think it would be a medical miracle if he *were* functioning normally.
Did this line make you laugh, “Bush is five times smarter than people think he is.”
So he’s five times smarter than zero intelligence? (joking, joking, calm down rightwingers)
As a Texan, subjected to shrub long before the rest of the nation had
the chance, I had him down for -23, so the line made perfect sense…
I can’t remember, was it under his administration as governor that you had to take the Taks/Taas every year, or was that already in.
Enlighten this ignorant and worthless creature please… *blinks*
The TAAS test Texan Assessment of Academic Skill was a standardized test which you would take every year, covering various topics, math, reading, writing. which test was determined by grade level. It was very annoying, I believe I took it every year since 3rd grade till i left the state. Many teachers would teach to the test (like the do now) in 4th grade i recall a large chunk of the year we were being couched on how to do the writing section and score high. It wasn’t fostering creative thought it was “this is a persuasive paper…this is how you write it.”
I’m not sure if they got around to enforcing the idea that if you do not pass the TAKS you do not pass highschool, i left before that point. I had the thought of it being Bush’s work, but i was wrong, it was not his deformed creature of suck.
Oh and the TAKS test was just the new name of the TAAS. same thing new name
The TAAS was from 1991–2003, and was replaced by the
TAKS in 2003. Governor Shrub was in from 1995–2000.
The TAKS [Wiki LINK] test is “No Child Left Behind”
compliant, and the scourge of every teacher I’ve met.
The Wiki article goes into some of the conflict, but FaileV’s
assessment is right on target. Teachers can’t teach
anything but topics on the test, and students aren’t
encouraged to pursue studies of topics not on the test.
As FaileV said, it is a “deformed creature of suck.”
“Is our children learning?”
Shrub’s puppet (and Lieutenant Governor) Rick Perry, took
over when Shrub left in 2000. He presided over this
hatchling’s premiere.
Slight nesting fail–Sorry!
Thank you, Tess!
Your point is intriguing. We’re left to conclude that something *must* be up,
but what?
Your alcohol/drug speculation is part of this next article. I posted it further
up the page, but it’s worth a look, too. [LINK]
Excellent article; almost frighteningly on point.
It struck a chord with me, too.
Glad you liked it… Well, you know what I mean.
I have some sympathy for Bush’s inarticulateness; for some reason it’s much easier for me to write than to speak. I “um” a lot when I have to actually verbalize. (Although I rarely make up words!) On the other hand, I’m not likely to run for President, either.
Judging by Obama’s use of “uhhhh,” perhaps you should have gone to
Columbia for undergraduate work, followed by law school at Harvard…
Now that was funny.
So, what you’re saying is, anyone who has ever:
- fumbled a sentence
- fallen down
- choked on food
- laughed or giggled inappropriately
- had a deer-in-the-headlights moment
has mental health issues? All right, everyone! Time for us all to head down to the mental clinic!
Nope, what I actually did was to quote a mental health worker who suggested that anybody who made a constant habit of doing all those things may be showing symptoms of mental and/or neurological impairment.
`
Now, as to whether or not I, specifically, have mental health issues, that’s a different subject altogether.
*giggles inappropriately*
*noms pretzel*
*falls down*
*giggles about it*
*stares at Tessie and dissimilitude like a deer in the headlights*
*runs She down, killing her instantly*
*hauls carcass to froo’s for processing lessons*
Be funny if this actually was shopped, but its real.
*facepalm*…uhm, it is a photoshopped image. Follow the link. And uh (looks around), don’t make our side look bad.
The Generally Jackass Staunt Right-Wings?
Whu..? Did you actually read anything that was typed or just gloss over it? Or are you being sarcastic? I don’t know what I said that would possibly make you think that I’m a right-winger (Jack ass sure, I guess) except maybe me conceding to the humor of an Obama joke up above (which was funny).
Without a winky, Airigh has wandered into the “no comprendo”
camp. Ironic twist for me, as you had just asked Rider not to make
us look bad.
As far as the “Jack ass” claim goes, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to
handle that one yourself…
*feeds oats; pets tuft of hair between ears*
I’m a bit slow today… Rho, when you’ve finished, could you try you (gullible-inclusive) dictionary and see what you find under “Staunt”? Airigh may have gifted the language a whole new word.
I found another error: Webster’s spelled it “staunch.”
Stupid Webster’s!
Hey! Mr. Wholesome has a winky git! How’d that get past the filter? I lurves it.
…but he’s still a dumbass and the worst president of all time
I could kiss you.
So intelligent!
Wow. The power of your argument just knocks my socks off.
Yes, it’s photoshopped, but the reason it’s funny is because everyone knows that he’s a class-a dumbass and it just makes so much sense.
If he was brilliant, hell, even if he was just reasonably smart, this pic wouldn’t be funny, but he’s not, so it is, real or not.
Sure it’s Shopped, but he’s still a pathetic moron and the LOLposter is a surly prick. = )
Although it’s been said many times, many ways…
Poster fail.
263rd!
Screw “First”.
NObama = Waste of DNA
NObama = duly elected to receive the Presidency. Try being non-traitorous and actually supporting the poor guy instead of standing back and hoping for failure. Just because the liberals did it to Bush is no reason to emulate their bad behavior and do the same thing to Obama.
NObama is the guy who wrote the LOL, goober
Ooops. That’s some egg on my face. Baaa, baaa…
And I don’t get EGG on my FACE! NOT ONE GLOB! Not one glob…
I hope I wasn’t the only one who saw The Spirit over the holidays.
Although if you want to rant at someone, NObama does have a prolific amount of bitter and possibly traitorous “LOLZ” on his profile page, so, if you want to redirect the comment at him instead of Snark, have at it.
You’ve still got a little bit…right…umm, there.
*gestures futilely at The Pirate King*
Wow… so let’s blame it on photoshop and photography rather than just admit the obvious: BUSH IS AN IDIOT. And I don’t care if this picture WAS edited. ‘Dubya’ is still the least intelligent president we have ever had in office– ever. Period. And the ass-kissing conservative that put this together isn’t going to convince me otherwise.
Whoa. Slow your roll, there. Give offense where offense is due. In this instance, he’s actually innocent.
A very appropriate follow-up caption would be:
FARFETCHED: If this would have been any other president, not so many people would have fallen for this photoshop!
Too bad Photoshop can’t make his presidency look any better. That’d be a neat trick.
“PHOTOSHOP…Ridiculing Little Napoleans Since 1990″
I love how the book Bush is holding is upside-down.
wow…. i never noticed how badly photoshopped this picture was until I saw this caption