resonable rent, great view, 24 hour security
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: loanaea
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First!!!1111!!111!
Maybe.
HAHAHAAH….
THis has been a retard moment. Brought to you by the Letter 6, the Number Nizzleflute, and a whole wad of I am a jerk.
I do find this mildly and kinda funny.
Oh how my bubble has burst!
Of the few evils I could find worst…
Is those playing this stupid game
That most of us find lame…
Now even DWN has posted “First”!!!
Quick…get the Tazer!!!
Isn’t that a the Failblog Tazer?
But Rho gave me one… I put it away because I used it a bit too much.
*removes tazer from vault*
*grasps tazer tightly*
You can’t taze DWN! It just isn’t right.
Aww shucks, I think you’re swell too.
*blushes*
*hugs*
You’ve ignored what is basically ‘first!!!’ from DWN for months… why start now?
If ‘In Bed’ is always funny, then, logically, so is ‘First’
I’d suggest tazing yourself… :¬>
Oddly enough, your talk about your piles reminds of a line about Grapes of Wrath are stored…
Explains a lot now that I think about it.
I’m getting really twitchy thinking about bum-grapes and tasers together…
LOL, I suspect my death is imminent but I have no regrets. Every once and a while I have to remind people that I am a jerk still.
Just remember, EVERYONE’S death is imminent!! As George Carlin used to say about injury reports in sports: “They list him as day-to-day, but then again, aren’t we all?!”
True that. All just dust in the wind… Dude.
Just a rat fart in a hurricane…
You met my friend So-crates?
Excellent!
Party On!!!
*plays air guitar*
“And so are the days of our lives, historical Dude!”
*puts down bong*
Whoa!!!
Does that mean we don’t get to use the Tazer treatment?
I am going to say, no…
YAY! *roots around for the Tazer*
Be careful, Srrslysry, you might accidentally zap yourse—
*catches unconscious Srrslysry*
*comes around*
Guess I should specify WHO gets the tazer treatment.
Nice catch Diss
You’re welcome. Make sure you’ve got the safety on that Tazer next time, ok?
Use a cattle prod instead. Frequently reusable and does not have to be reloaded…
And can be tens of times more funner…
*stomps off to kitchen*
“Allright, dammit! No tazer? Fine!!! Where’s my cooking spoon??!!!”
*mumbling*
I’ll show those nizzlefluting sons-of-slinchy-clemens whatfor!
*snerks and gets the bar of soap*
*waits for Srrslysry to drop said soap*
*Grabs Srrsly and DWN by an ear*
AHEM!!!
OW! OW! OW!
*Points at DWN*
He started it!!!
*Ponders. Just ‘an ear’?*
You wouldn’t want me to give you the ole “Marine Corps Handshake” to your boys…you’d regret it…although you’d be an octave or three higher when speaking…
Maybe you could for DW but I lack the
requisite ‘boys’ *snerks again*
So help me woman… *gets self out of grip and baps on nose with a rolled up newspaper* Bad… No touch! Bad…
You gotta watch out for those tazers. A local news anchor volunteered to be tazered for a news story once. The pain was so intense he reverted from his usual articulate journalistic self to his normal redneck voice complete with loud swearing all over the place. But it was FUNNY.
It wasn’t as silly as this one, was it? [Click]
A Buddhist Preist I know, from New Jersey, is fond of pointing out that ‘dere ain’y oneuh us who knows we’re gunna get outta dis room alive’
Didn’t Jim Morrison say something quite similar?! OMG!!! The Buddhist Temple of the Lizard King!!!
Five to one, MG. One in five…
Morrison was from Jersey?
It doesn’t sound ‘right’ unless you have a Joisey accent… then is sounds like a threat…
I think Florida but I’m not positive.
He spent a lot of time drunk and stoned in Hollywood with the Cooper band and Mickey Dolenz
Navy brat, from Florida: Diss, FTW!!
Speak for yourself. I plan to live forever. So far, so good!
C’mon now, who wants to live forever?
I’m with Woody Allen on the ‘Immortality’ thing
who dares to love forever?
When love must die…
*gets sniffly, thinking of Queen’s Freddie Mercury*
Or Highlander…
Thanks for cheering me up, Jane…
*cries harder*
Sorry, you should have known that there could be only one. Duh.
You mean, there’s no time for us?
There’s no place for us?
*cues theme music*
*cries harder still*
*pats Rho* There, there. You won’t have to worry about movies in which French people play Scottish people and Scottish people play Spanish people anymore.
*plots evil movies*
DWN posts “first!”
Perdition awaits him now
Who will wield the wang?
You can have my wang when you pry it from my cold dead fingers…
and the award for quote of the day goes to….
DEATH WYRM NEXUS!
“You can have my wang when you pry it from my cold dead fingers…”
O_O
OMG!!! I Won!!! *composes self and thinks of acceptance speech*
Wow, I’m overwhelmed. Seriously, this is awesome guys. Thanks so much. To all my supporters I want to say, YAY WE WON!!! YEEAAAAA!!! And to all my distractors, I will say, Nizzleflute you and the smegma that birthed you in a screaming dark hole in the ground.
Peace out, drive safe, Joe bless.
Hmm, if I ever wake up to see a tank out my bedroom window, I hope it’s pointing away, like this one.
Nice framing; hats off to the photographer.
We need Tank Girl references on this site but I never see a decent picture for them.
“What’s bald, and smelly, snogs kangaroos, wears shoes that don’t fit and a bra that’s too tight, (and knickers that need a good wash), smokes, drinks, and fights too much for her own good, and at this very moment in time has a mega hangover?…………………….You guessed it!”
Amy Winehouse?
ROFL!! I was thinking Courtney Love!!!
That too…
There’s a difference?
Courtney is better at applying eyeliner.
Thanks. That explains alot!
Slight age difference, too…
Amateur!!
Age is all in the transfusions–
Ask Keith Richards.
Amy hasn’t been able to fake her more talented husband’s suicide…
Ahh…no talent with make up or faking spousal suicide.
Poor Amy.
amy’s husband is talented?
My thoughts exactly. I believe he may have a slightly longer arrest record if that counts for anything.
Sorry, I was thinking more on the Cobain side of things…
well… my arrest record is brief… but it does make for good reading… maybe i should marry amy…
No, you have so much ahead of you. Don’t weigh yourself down with… that.
But there’s no weight TO her.
… Emotional baggage weighs more than a body at times.
Good point.
in a sick twist of the laws of physics certain people’s emotional baggage (like my ex’s) can actually weigh more than the entire universe.
@ubr: You have no idea how much I can sympathize with that statement my friend.
@ubr & DWN: I think my ex finally imploded and formed a tiny black hole about five years ago. Hasn’t bothered me since. Good luck.
Mine is more like a bothersome comet, she shows up online to badger and heckle me and then vanishes when she realizes she is looking foolish or that she hasn’t taken her meds.
Well, give it time, dear. It took mine about 6 years.
Ouch… Sorry to hear it took that long.
It’s exchanges like that make me realise that, outside of the violence, the death and destruction that seems to dog me, and the sheer number of people who just seem to wind up dead, or worse, in my life, I’ve really led a pretty quiet life.
Well, I’ll take one annoying ex over violence, death, and destruction, I guess. Dude had some major mental health and substance abuse issues that he refused to address is all, really.
Excellent point.
Courtney has boobs.
But that friggin’ voice!!!!
Huh. I actually kinda like her voice. Singing, anyway; I have no idea what she sounds like speaking.
Nails on a chalkboard…only whinier
By the way, guys, my best friend approves very much of the Tank Girl reference. <3
And just how is the English poetry project going, young lady?!
It’s going well. I’ve been working on memorizing it, and my teacher says he likes what I’ve been doing with the performance. Two of my classes are doing it, so I’m doing “Why I Am Not a Painter” by Frank O’Hara and “Larkinesque” by Michael Ryan. I like the second better, I think, but I’m optimistic about both.
Awesome, Good Luck!
Thanks! I’m going to be a bit conceited and say I’m a pretty fair public speaker, so I hope I do well. It’s a national competition, so I’m hoping…
If it’s pointing in the window, I’m saying “screw it, I’m going back to bed.”
That’s….what she said.
Don’t screw it. Tanks have no feelings and will just leave you hollow inside. T_T
Actually, DWN, there’s a guy here who says he was in that tank and he’d like to have a word with you. Something about cleaning up after yourself?
She came onto me!!!
I’ve heard that some girl tanks can do that…
It is very awkward but she had a charming personality and I was in the mood to be swayed…
damn, i prefer reasonable rent. when they say resonable you just know it’s too expensive.
And if your rent’s late, they fire a volley right threw that window…
OMG!!
“through”…here we go again with MG having the stupids!!!!
*bashes forehead on desk*
Don’t accidenty yourself.
*slides pillow under forehead*
Wha? Wha… you sounded all panicked!
Look – if Paris Hilton had spoken that sentence, then “threw” would probably be correct, at least phonetically.
That’s probably so little comfort I should have shut the hell up…
uh oh. i guess i better read the fine print on that lease agreement before i sign…
Yeah, because the walk-through with the Landlord could be really interesting if he sees what your dog did to the carpeting…
i put the tv stand over it… i’m sneaky like that. then when he asks why i left my tv stand i’ll say it’s broken and then kick it. by the time he moves it and finds the carnage i’ll be miles away. mwa ha ha.
*sighs deeply*
WTF is “resonable”? Does it have anything to do with resonance?
I was thinking maybe they wanted to rezone it, and forgot the Z?
Because, I have a pony………
ZOMG PONY!!!!
“and now i leave earth for no raison”
Hah!
Trapped in a crummy world of plot-holes and spelling errors!
Futurama FTW!
“Suzy, why don’t you take your little brother outside and play in the minefield…er…yard until supper’s ready?!”
at least the grass is still green…
The novelty wears off after a while. Neighbor kids will stomp it into dirt.
You kids get offa my dang lawn!
*shakes gaff menacingly at neighbor kids*
*gets hose*
can we put this on fail blog too?
or maybe there should be a spell check in the lol builder…
Helpful Hint #37851:
You can always type your captions in your wordprocessing program first, and then copy and paste into the lol builder, if you want to spellcheck. Not that most people will bother, because judging by the lols populating the vote pages, it’s not that hard to spell “nom” or “fail” or “i just farted he he!”….
Yes, accidenty’s abound!
That’s why we have punishments such as
The Wang and Tazer and Hose and
Spork and Amy, amongst other thangs.
where’s my big red pen…
Damn! I forgot about the big red pen.
I haven’t seen your big red pen. This one’s mine: It goes
with my well-oiled red Swingline.
Actually, if you have FireFox, it has a built-in spell checker that affects most standard text fields. It doesn’t correct weird punctuation uses like Word will, but at the very least, you can type each individual word properly. Wow, my fist comment, ever, in any of these sites, and I’m correcting someone. I promised myself I wouldn’t not be the Grammar Nazi, but I can’t stop myself >.<!
*can’t stop giggling*
Tesh, spellcheck will not, of course, catch it when you use the wrong word. For example, if someone was to say “fist” instead of “first”…
Oh, and welcome, from one Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation Nazi to another. ;o)
there’s seems to be a lot of grammar fascists here…
They come the grammar and stay for the wang.
I will let you ruminate before some kind soul advises you of the wang rule and nose rule.
I know the wang rule, but what is the nose rule?
Max and Communism. But he slacks more than I do.
Why do they come the grammar?
Because Grammar needs love too, damn it.
All your base are belong to wang.
for the grammar. Stupid fail on me.
That was stupid WIN!!
*dances stupidly with DWN*
The lolbuilder isn’t a standard text field though. That’s the biggest problem. It appears to be java based (possibly Flash)
Anybody can get past a dog, but nobody fscks with a tank!
But the tank told me she loved me…. >_>
*clang clang clang clang*
to repeat myself from yesterday…
that was in poor taste… even for pk…
haha
I do that a lot…
He does.
He’s also obviously not up to date on his Happy-Madison Productions…
FOR SHAME!
Grandma’s Boy = Hilarious
HA! What’s that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Grandma’s Boy FTW!
The tank is just using you, DWN. It’s going to get what it wants from you, and then roll on to it’s next target. Heartless tank. *sniffs*
*Offers tissue*
>_<
I’ve been used… It just wanted me for cheap sex and now I have a bruise where my crotch is… Least I left a dent in her. *sulks*
I loved you, you stupid hunk of death machinery!!! T_T
Wow…That had to leave one hell of a hickey?
The dent was impressive however.
It took all my POWA!!!
Sheila! Come back to me! I baked you a muffin!!
This gives a whole new perspective to eviction. Working in a rental office myself, sometimes this is justifiable. You wouldn’t believe the noobs that expect you to rent to them.
Does this mean I won’t be getting that three bedroom walkup you have available?
For you yes. You aren’t a noob.
Wow I fail. I meant you can have the three bedroom walkup… because you aren’t a noob.
*facepalm.
Okay? Man, I wish my house had that kind of security!
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/12/israel_and_gaza.html
….seriously it is not funny….
you support this? war? you gringos are crazy!
Obliterates not-funny-troll with cartoon-sized mallet.