Comments on: And the comic pundits were afraid that with Bush gone

By: James

James — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:27:18 +0000

Why is it Bidens Time hes the vice president…

Oh wait God forbid we make fun of a black person…

By: D-Day

D-Day — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:03:01 +0000

I love Joe Biden. I’m so glad he’s here. Nobody messes with Joe.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:55:58 +0000

Source??!?!?!!!

By: Scum

Scum — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:44:12 +0000

Gilda [Link]

By: Scum

Scum — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:26:05 +0000

What’s all this I hear about free condoms at restaurants?
Isn’t handing them out in grade schools enough for the government?
Is this the new meaning of the Happy Meal?
Do I really have to listen to men asking to super-size it?
Especially when I’m ordering the small fries?

And why do they have to be mint flavored?
I like strawberry, and grape, and chocolate. And banana.
Banana seems appropriate. Especially chocolate banana.

I… I’m getting hungry. Um, if anyone wants me, I’m going to make a burger run.
.
.
Wait, what?
.
Oh.
Never mind.

By: slan agat

slan agat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:01:17 +0000

Cato, you fuel!

By: slan agat

slan agat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:00:36 +0000

In wedlock, no less!

By: slan agat

slan agat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:59:40 +0000

Ma’am, stop sucking on my wrist.

By: slan agat

slan agat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:57:47 +0000

Save us, Spaceman Spliff!

By: dissimilitude

dissimilitude — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:55:45 +0000

In other words, the free condiments at restaurants are a complimentary complement to your meal.

By: slan agat

slan agat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:51:13 +0000

What’s melib? Is it a distant relation of horseradish, perhaps?

By: slan agat

slan agat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:49:46 +0000

(or as a verb, to provide what another thing lacks, to complete)

By: slan agat

slan agat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:48:52 +0000

That would be because ‘complement’ is a word unto itself, meaning the whole, or the part that completes a previously incomplete thing.

By: Jocasta

Jocasta — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:39:48 +0000

Hopefully Obama keeps him out of sight. The man is the new Dan Quayle.

… okay, not that stupid, but the same general idea.

By: Anniee451

Anniee451 — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:03:19 +0000

Yep, Joe Biden is comedy gold that just writes itself. If he is allowed to talk ever again, that is. It will be one saving grace

By: the_original_shortright

the_original_shortright — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:58:40 +0000

@Tessie – *clap**clap**clap* well done.
@AC – thanks for the explanation, i was SO confused. i thought it was a regional sort of joke or something. it’s funny now!

By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:18:04 +0000

Or you could start a crusade to convert all of the filthy commas into proper semi-colons…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:36:16 +0000

I just liked the idea of Hill jumping out of cupboards armed with a meat cleaver…

By: rhorho

rhorho — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:32:29 +0000

I miss Peter Sellers!!

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:28:00 +0000

I was thinking Inspector Clouseau…

By: rhorho

rhorho — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:24:48 +0000

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:23:39 +0000

I’d have said ‘and’… unless he feels having some one like that close keeps him sharp… I’ve worked with people who think like that…

By: froofrou

froofrou — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:15:33 +0000

Insane, or suicidal.

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:14:52 +0000

He’d have been insane to give Hil a pop at VP…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:13:03 +0000

True… who ever beat Luther into submission on retaining Rev in the Protestant canon managed to keep the Christians waiting too… and gave them the chance to kill everything since we’ve been in the End of Days since AD70…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:10:57 +0000

Still plugging – did diddums have a bad shift at the Burger Bar? DI the nasty manager tell him off for forgetting to ask ‘do you want to go large on that’?

Poor baby… tell us more about how you and the Blackhawks (as in the DC comics WWII squadron) saved the world, shall we?

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:08:37 +0000

Trying to emerge from the shell after the bloody big hole you dug invoking the dead service men?

‘My service stands’ flap, flap, flap… the moment you tried to trade on the dead soldier, your service, if it ever occurred outside your own, diseased, mind, was reduced to ignoble dust… Honour, service, sacrifice… pah… tawdry rags in your relish stained hands…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:05:23 +0000

Yup, 5:40 Pacific… Burger King shift ends again… Do you keep the uniform on at home when you’re playing Doom II? Pretend you’re really a tough guy, when really you’re just an empty pretender, who tries to trade on the glories of others to make your self feel better about the lack of anything like a back bone…

By: froofrou

froofrou — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:48:37 +0000

I see your Schwartz is as big as my Schwartz, but lets see how you handle it.

By: ElbieSee

ElbieSee — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:23:20 +0000

“Your helmet is so… big!”

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:37:34 +0000

“It’s TWUE!!!! It’s TWUE!!!!!”
`
Oh, sweet mystery of life!

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:36:11 +0000

In that case, we have two options that I can think of:
1. A belt whose superpower is to make chocolate noncaloric.
2. A belt whose superpower is to make us really rich, and everyone can worry about their own calories.

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:33:44 +0000

Neither can he.

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:29:35 +0000

“you have shown no proof of service anywhere”
`
Oh, isn’t it on his Myspace page? How he’s the youngest five-star general ever, and so popular with the enlisted men that they decided five stars wasn’t enough, and they made the Army adopt a new six-star category which they made up on the spot, just for him?

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:24:14 +0000

There’s also:
Q: How do you get an elephant in the refrigerator?
A: Open door, put elephant in fridge, close door.
`
Q: How do you get a giraffe in the refrigerator?
A: Open door, put giraffe in fridge, close door?
Q: No, stupid! Open door, take out elephant! Otherwise there wouldn’t be room for the giraffe!

Also, for those who are familiar with Safeway supermarkets:
Q: How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping bag?
A: Well, first you take the F out of “safe”, and then you take the F out of “way”…
Q: There is no F in “way”!
A: You know, you’re right; there is no F’in’ way.

By: Scum

Scum — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 02:19:00 +0000

You know, I honestly didn’t even think of that, and it’s so unlike me not to think of sex (as a joke anyway)…

I was just trying to feed the troll. She looked hungry.

By: froofrou

froofrou — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:43:51 +0000

Do your lips hurt from being pressed so firmly against the ass of the vast right-wing conspiracy?

By: Anti Fester

Anti Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:42:08 +0000

It’s the Libs way of “allowing” people to pick on Obama/Biden without actually being mean, like for Bush/Palin/McCain. The Chosen One can allow no dissent.

By: froofrou

froofrou — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:41:54 +0000

I bet if you didn’t check the ‘notify me of follow-up comments via email’ box at the end of every post, you’d never have any email.
-
And I don’t know nuthin’ ’bout readin’ no emails!

By: Anti Fester

Anti Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:40:36 +0000

That was Obama…Oh..Wait..Irony..

By: Anti Fester

Anti Fester — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:40:06 +0000

That’s a good little Uncle Tom….

By: froofrou

froofrou — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:31:04 +0000

Ok then, skinniER. How’s that?

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:27:06 +0000

My superpowers reveal that you’re already at your ideal weight.

By: froofrou

froofrou — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:26:02 +0000

It’s TWUE!!!! It’s TWUE!!!!!

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:24:35 +0000

“And it’s twice the size of the vanilla cone, you know, because of ’special entitlements’.”
`
Nice show of restraint. I personally, would not have been able to resist going for some sort of cheap sex joke about how “everyone knows that the chocolate cones are bigger”.

By: froofrou

froofrou — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:23:53 +0000

I’d just like a belt that magically makes me skinny.

By: Tessie

Tessie — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:22:27 +0000

“I’m more the Batman school… you don’t need a superpower,”
`
But a belt with lots of super-cool technology gadgets would be nice.

By: Ms. Valit

Ms. Valit — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:57:46 +0000

this picture is making me hungry

By: skor

skor — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:15:35 +0000

He not only got his pick of jobs over Hillary, but that nice Mr. Obama let him have two ice creams as well.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:48:43 +0000

Does that mean you never exhaled, or is
that implied?