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Class of 1971

Osama Bin Laden

Class of 1971. Osama Bin Laden “Most Likely to Jihad”.

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: ebookace

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» 191 comments

  1. rhorho says:

    Silence! I keel you!!

  2. Danbala says:

    Hokay… Even if it doesn’t make perfect sense, it was still a bit funny, and I confess to doing some inane giggling. :p

    • Literal says:

      If you’re not ‘Merikin, you may not get the “high-school yearbook” reference.
      Good little conformists that we are, we vote on a variety of … “most likely tos,” which then end up in the yearbook.
      I, for one, was voted: “Most likely to end up the queen of a double-wide.”
      Of course, that one didn’t get in the yearbook …

      • Danbala says:

        Oh, I do get the yearbook reference, I have my own in fact, class of ’94. But thanks for the concern for a possibly ignorant foreigner. (No sarcasm here – best to point that out.)
        .
        Nah, it’s more the jihad thing that doesn’t make perfect sense. Muslims are expected to do jihad. And in ’71 it was not used for going to attack (“offensive warfare” – can’t really think of the proper term), so it’d mean he was voted most likely to be a religiously good muslim. Which most muslims* certainly don’t think of him today. But the yearbook style thing made it fun anyway. ;p
        .
        *) When I say “most muslims” I base that on the relatively small amount of muslims I have talked to or listened to regarding this, I cannot cite any global statistics.

        • Danbala says:

          Oooooon the other hand – I should possibly correct myself – the secondary school he went to apparently is secular, and what with him being a wahhabite (wahhabiot? ), wahhabist?) he could very well have been voted the most-likely-to on those points too. Meh. I’ll just go now. :p

          • Literal says:

            Didn’t mean to offend at all, Danbala.
            .
            Here’s where I think you’re right, and the word does get sticky. Of course, as a westerner, I read the word and automatically assume the “holy war” definition.
            -
            The term “Jihad” used without any qualifiers is generally understood in the West to be referring to holy war on behalf of Islam.[5] In broader usage and interpretation, the term has accrued both violent and non-violent meanings. It can simply mean striving to live a moral and virtuous life, spreading and defending Islam as well as fighting injustice and oppression, among other things.[7] The relative importance of these two forms of jihad is a matter of controversy.
            -
            Since other parts of the world see jihad as a religious obligation, I can see why it wouldn’t be nearly as LOL as it is here in Enlightened Japes of ‘Murrika.

            • Danbala says:

              “Didn’t mean to offend at all, Danbala.”
              Oh, I didn’t get offended at all, it was a very reasonable assumption you made. I really did appreciate the fact that you took the time to explain it, even if it turned out to be unnecessary. :)
              .
              “Since other parts of the world see jihad as a religious obligation, I can see why it wouldn’t be nearly as LOL as it is here in Enlightened Japes of ‘Murrika.”
              Yeah, well… I think the wikipedia is perfectly right in that most western people primarily think about the “holy war”/terrorist version of it. I am just “damaged” from having a mother who teaches religion, I guess. :p

          • PortlandMark says:

            I think “Wahabidiot” is the term you’re looking for…

            I put Wahabists in pretty much the same boat as followers of American televangelists. Same terror, small mindedness, and control, different flavor.

      • lowly grunt says:

        I was voted “Eternal Optimist” class of ’82. I am not kidding.

        • I was ’82 myself, but wasn’t voted anything. At least not formally.

          • Danbala says:

            I had to pull out my yearbook to look this up. We didn’t have any “most likely”-stuff, it turns out – the only peer votes were things like “Class Clown”, “Best Smile” and gooey things like that. (I call them gooey because I wasn’t in any of them. ;p)

            • AC says:

              The “most wanted female” in our school’s yearbook before last was a boy named Jonathan….

              • the_original_shortright says:

                my high school got national press because a boy was voted homecoming queen. he’s gay, everyone knew it, he was also one of those people who everyone liked.

                • Steve says:

                  That is awesome…although it shouldn’t have been news at all. Good for him! We had a girl on the varsity (american)football team. People should be able to do whatever they want, if a guy wants to run for homecoming queen, have at it!

                  Just like “black president” shouldn’t be a big deal. He’s a person, just like any other. There’s no need to even mention his skin color.

          • … Wow, that was the year Lynn was born. I feel very young now.

        • Uncle Fester says:

          I was voted “Eternal Optimist” class of ‘82. I am not kidding.

          Life beat that out of you, eh? Happens to us all…

      • Literal says:

        I’m eerily fascinated by the prospect of what Uncle Fester was voted most likely to do.

  3. ubr says:

    lol. me likes this one…

  4. RiderLeangle says:

    You know people don’t give a shit anymore when we’re laughing at Bin Ladin jokes.

  5. Bleh says:

    jihad literally means an inner struggle with in ones self to submit to god and accept divinity, its part of all Muslims faith, extremists misinterpret it and display it outwardly and force others, this is the definition we know, you just dont get it, islam is a peaceful faithm

    • ubr says:

      yup. we get it…
      can you please pass the idea around to some people in the middle east and south pacific? we could all really use a nice dose of peaceful faith…

    • Steve says:

      Christianity is a peaceful religion too, but I wouldn’t call the crusades peaceful.

      War is war no matter who you claim to wage it on behalf of.

      • ubr says:

        i don’t believe that the crusades really upheld the christian beliefs or faith…
        .
        death to the pagans and death to the infidels have the same ring… and both are wrong…

        • Uncle Fester says:

          The Crusades was just a justification for the Patriarch of Venice to get very, very rich at the expense of Constantinople. Having said that, if Constantinople had done it’s job as ‘Head of the Eastern Churches’ then Islam would have been a still born sect, and thus, a simple, local war from Venice to Constantinople would have resulted at some point in the future.
          As it is, the Crusades laid a pretty bloody precedent on ‘Muscular Catholicism’ and secured the power of Islam within the region to the present day… and all down to the communist teachings of dead pacifist, forged into a religion to secure and rule an Empire… which in a large part it did for Rome, the British, and, now , the American Empires…

          • ubr says:

            you are just always angry at someone for something…
            regardless of your revisionist version of history the crusades were wrong and went against a majority of the tenets of faith… and the stated reason was to reclaim jerusalem for the devout. the sacking of constantinople was a good way to make money, but it was not the point of the entire crusades…
            btw, i didn’t know that richard the lionheart was the patriarch of venice…

            • Uncle Fester says:

              how is it ‘revisionist’?
              and Money was the whole point of Crusades…

            • Uncle Fester says:

              BTW, do they teach that Richard was in on the First Crusades? Your educational system is AWFUL! Talk about revisionist history…

              • ubr says:

                “the crusades (plural) was justification for the patriarch of venice”… therfore richard the lionheart is a good start… especially since he was english. revisionist in that you think it was about money when the whole time they were talking about jerusalem… revisionist in this case by reinterpreting other people’s motives from your arm chair a thousand years later……

                • Uncle Fester says:

                  Richard was an ass, but he was king… one of our worst ever.

                  As to the rest… I’m still waiting for the exegesis explained that one not beleivieng in Christ makes evil people die… that’s more fascinating…

                  • ubr says:

                    that’s an easy one to explain. you just need to read the rest of the comment i left. i did not say that not believing in Christ makes evil people die, but rather that they are destroyed in the fires of hell. like i said, not a new idea in Christianity…

                    • ubr says:

                      believe in Jesus = heaven
                      not believe in Jesus = hell
                      .
                      please tell me you’ve heard that one before…

                    • Uncle Fester says:

                      Oh you did… it’s still there… no good you trying to
                      pull it back with additions and apologia… you
                      never mistakenly type something… you’ve made
                      that quite clear.
                      -
                      -
                      -
                      But let’s have the quote

                      srsly fest? luke 19:27?
                      it’s a quote talking about how evil people will be destroyed if you do not follow Christ. destroyed by going to hell and not heaven… not a new parable in the Bible… anything else i can help you with?

                      OK, I don’t believe in Christ… let the expunging of the evil ones begin!

                      • ubr says:

                        fester, please point out where what i’ve said is different in any o fthese posts.
                        .
                        one of the tenets of the Christian faith is that the only way to heaven is through Christ. it’s pretty self-explanatory…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          I can’t help it if your writing skills are crap…
                          You said evil people will be destroyed if I
                          don’t believe in Christ. Never heard that
                          exegesis. *shrug* I think it’s skewed
                          theology, but no more than I’d expect from
                          the believer. I never knew I had so much
                          power as an unbeliever.

                          I know the Christian god gets of on torturing
                          people forever for slights, so I’m
                          conversant with the concept. It’s the power
                          of the unbeliever that floored me.

                        • You said evil people will be destroyed if I
                          don’t believe in Christ. Never heard that
                          exegesis.

                          Oh, for crying out loud, UF, he followed that sentence with “destroyed by going to hell and not heaven”; it’s in your blockquote.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Yes, but it’s key on my unbelief…

                        • ubr says:

                          wow. so you’re arguing about semantics now? you’re right
                          i should’ve used they instead of you. but my logic still stands
                          and you’re still stupid. so…
                          .
                          and what does “God gets of on”? is that still English?
                          before you start throwing rocks at people for slight misuse of language you should make sure that you do not misuse it either…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          I’m stupid yet you can’t construct a sentence… oookay…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          and you started the rocks… I’m replying in kind… enjoy…

                          I’m looking forward to your next typing error :twisted:

                        • Not to put words in his mouth or anything, but I think he meant if Person X in general doesn’t believe they will be destroyed; not if one internet poster in the UK doesn’t believe that a bunch of other people will be destroyed.

                          And I really think you know that’s what he meant and you’re just picking at him because you disagree and/or like to toy with people when they phrase things awkwardly.

                        • ubr says:

                          thanks dis…
                          but i think my quote works either way… as long as you refer to fester as evil… and assume that he’s fat enough to be conceived as more than one person…
                          therefore you and evil people still works… both reference fester…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Fester is capitalised

                        • ubr says:

                          it’s a name? i figured you were referring to the build up of negative feelings towards the world festering in your subconscious…

                        • I am thinking the semantics dickering as well but least it is fun.

                        • Nah, just an Adam’s Family reference. Though fester is a fun word.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          @dis, since you’re now simply being dumb
                          The offending line is in Lk 19:27, which is in
                          the middle of the parable I was referencing.
                          He claimed it wasn’t a parable, being
                          disingenuous, thus wanting a pissing contest.
                          Well, he’s having one…

                        • ubr says:

                          what did i claim it was? what on earth are you talking about fest?

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Addams… from Charles Addams… note Two Ds…

                          and the name, as I use it is capitalised.

                          I still can’t help you’re lack of ability in constructing a clear sentence.

                          and Wurm, the ‘semantic dickering’ is ubr’s forte… if you’ve not noticed, then you’re just not paying attention.

                        • ubr says:

                          how did i claim it wasn’t a parable?

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          not a new parable in the Bible…

                          you claimed there not a new parable… I didn’t since it’s not… never was… I never claimed it was new, just that the exegesis was open to debate… again, we’re back to your inability to read…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          correction: you claimed there it was not a new parable

                          curse the virus update! It grabs text…

                        • ubr says:

                          um no. sorry fest. your sentence does not compute.
                          i said it was “not a new parable in the Bible” meaning that not following Christ means going to hell is gone over quite a few times…
                          so…
                          what was your point again?
                          and how did i say it wasn’t a parable?
                          please back up some of your accusations with discernible proof. i was really hoping for more of a debate than this…

                        • Arguably it’s pretty old.

                        • Either way, the semantic dickering is fun.

                        • ubr says:

                          only when it makes sense and is clearly put forward…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Capital F… retard.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          and diss, if you really have so little to contribute, consider looking less of a fool

                          Wurm can’t help it…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          BTW, can you not use a shift key, ubr? It would appear not…
                          Interesting…

                        • @Fester: I’m not the one deliberately misinterpreting what somebody says to me in order to pick a semantic argument…so, feel free to bite me.

                          You boys hash this out on your own.

                        • ubr says:

                          nope. the shift key on this keyboard only works for
                          deities…
                          .
                          and while you were complaining about my typing style (or lack thereof) you did not answer the questions i put forward to you… rather you just reverted to the old fester way of trying to insult the person instead of having intelligible discourse…

                        • PiMan says:

                          All in context here please.
                          Luke 19:26-28

                          ‘I tell you, to everyone who has something, more will be given, but fromthe person who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away.

                          But as for these enemies of mine who didn’t want me to be their king-bring them here and slaughter them in my presence!’”
                          After Jesus had said this, he traveled on and went up to Jerusalem.

                          Clearly Jesus supports the complete opposite of communism and socialism, and supports income inequality to the greatest extent. Further, anyone who doesn’t believe he should be king is to be murdered in front
                          of him.
                          .
                          And here I was thinking that the vengeful God was only Old Testament.

                        • *adjusts crown*

                          Good to be king…

                          And in all fairness, I am not contributing because I always found the heavy handed nature of religion to be rather asinine. Especially ideas like Sins of the Father and cursing bloodlines as well as eternal damnation. Eternal Damnation, does that sound ridiculous to anybody else? What on EARTH could you honestly do that would offend an infinite being so much that it condemns you forever just to make a point? A reason that makes sense, mind you…

                          Granted as a limited being, I can see punishing somebody forever because I cannot realistically fathom forever. Even after barely a couple hundred years, I can see myself forgetting why I was punishing them in the first place. Death is usually enough for me. If I want to torture somebody, hundred years tops.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          If there were anything to answer, then I’d bother. There isn’t.
                          You seem to want to troll me, I’ve indulged you enough.
                          It’s like dealing with the other Fester trolls… nothing to engage, a lot to mock.
                          Offended? Kiss my ring! (_0_)

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          and dis you can too :)

                        • Due to odd juxposition of my post, I am going to clarify my king comment. Having been referred to as the Cretin King, I thought it humorous to continue though having to explain it obvious eats all the funny…

                        • Aedriel says:

                          Err… I’m not even going to ask why it’s so stretched out…

                        • Danbala says:

                          Oh noes goatse!11!!! Now I need to apply bleach to my brain. :(

                        • ubr says:

                          yes fest… having to explain yourself is so tiring…
                          just do us a favor next time and after you write your comment click the “click here to cancel” button… it’d save all of us a lot of time…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          @Wurm – Made me laugh… sorry.
                          @Aedriel – So he can slip the tongue in… of course!

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          yes fest… having to explain yourself is so tiring…
                          just do us a favor next time and after you write your comment click the “click here to cancel” button… it’d save all of us a lot of time…

                          Seems you can’t take your own advice, doesn’t it?
                          (_0_)

                        • Aedriel says:

                          So the conversation has been reduced to “tongue my butthole!”

                          Nice.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Pretty much… it’s all he seems to be capable of…

                        • ubr says:

                          uf, you really are a sore loser… i’ve defeated your ideas on three different posts now and all you can respond with is “kiss my a**”…

                        • Oddly enough, I’ve heard of worse… Which isn’t a good thing. Now I need brain bleach because of my own babbling. @_@

                          @Aedriel: Tongue my butthole = religion? Ya know, that honestly makes sense in an Occam’s Razor way of reducing religion to its simplest idea.

                        • Aedriel says:

                          Actually, that’s not what I was referring to, but you have an excellent point….

                        • I have my moments of brilliance.

                        • ubr says:

                          lol… finally got through your quote DWN… very nice…
                          between you and aedrial i got something positive out of this argument… haha…

                        • Danbala says:

                          DWN: Me too, but it was all safely tucked away in an anonymous cardboard box in the back of my mind. Yanking goatse out of the box of course brought along all the other ones to happily flap out onto the floor.
                          *shudder*
                          Don’t bogart that bleach, please?

                        • I do what I can in my humble little way to help bring a little illumination into a thread. Even if I had to bring it out by the tonguing of buttholes…

                          Ugh, now I have cancer.

                          @Danbala: *passes bleach* I never need that much.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          i’ve defeated your ideas on three different posts

                          Ya think? Well, you feel free to think that.
                          Saying ‘I WIN!’ really don’t make it so.
                          There was nothing to defend from my side…
                          The First Crusade started out as the
                          Patriarch of Constaninople asking for a few
                          troops to help with a minor skirmish.
                          The Patriarch of Venice, saw a chance,
                          used the Vatican to whip up a frenzy
                          and use the ensuing chaos to loot
                          Constantinople. However, the justification
                          was wholly religious, while the underlying
                          cause was monetary.
                          The later Crusades, while ‘less’ Machiavellian
                          in root cause, can be traced back tot he first
                          Crusade as a precedent, and were largely
                          about Vatican tithes, rather than ‘religion’
                          per se, but were again justified by the
                          existence of the church.
                          So, no… all you did was make dumbass
                          comments about Richard Couer de Leon that
                          qualified for nothing better than kiss my
                          ring as further responses.

                          so…
                          Kiss my ring, retard.

                        • Steve says:

                          @diss – “feel free to bite me.”

                          You made me LoL.

                          @Fester…you’re just being a dick. You know it. Everyone else knows it. Nobody really gives a shit what you think, just like you don’t care what I think. Now you just sound like a 4 year old stomping his feet because he’s not getting his way. Proceed.

                          Queue angry quasi-intellectual nerd rage retort.

            • :P says:

              thats because he is not

              rishard also did not start the crusades

              *slaps ubr*

              start paying attention

            • Steve says:

              The crusades were horribly wrong. My point was that in any group there will always be extremists. The loudest voices, or most noticeable actions, don’t always convey the message of the majority.

              Damn, now I have They Might be Giants stuck in my head..

              Istanbul was Constantinople Now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople…

        • Tessie says:

          “i don’t believe that the crusades really upheld the christian beliefs or faith…
          .”
          `
          I agree that they did not, but that’s somewhat of a separate issue. Whether or not they were in agreement with the professed tenets of Christianity, they happened anyway, with the apparent approval of the Church of that time. I don’t think invading a country that had nothing to do with attacking us is consistent with what I believe are American values, either, and yet…

  6. Jamie Holts says:

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

  7. Anniee451 says:

    That lol reminds me of someone. Can’t think who.

  8. Punditus Maximus says:

    Man, I just got back from voting — is it me or is every conservative joke exactly the same?

    “Did you hear the one about the person who isn’t a straight white male? Turns out he or she conforms to an unpleasant stereotype!!!!!!”

    Damn Freepers.

  9. Quirk says:

    And today, Obama walked into a glass door at the White house….waiting for picture to caption….waiting…

  10. chittybangbang says:

    Seems Uncle Fester’s butt boil is festering again. Would someone PLEASE get a sharp needle or lance and open that prickly festering boil and let the pus drain out?
    The person definitely need help even though he’d never admit it…….. that would be tantamount to submission to another’s ideas. And we all know UF would never stoop to that. Uncle Fester, eat some happy food for a change and surprise us all

  11. Em says:

    The first thing that came to my mind was …where would he be graduating from at, like, 14? (Yeah, he has that in common with Dick Cheney. They both look a lot older than they are.)

  12. Obama Biden Laden says:

    Ah Osama ….. my hero !!!!

  13. AC says:

    Ooooohh! Ken whit? Ken whit? Ken whit?
    I’m now 17!
    Old enough to drive -mwahahaha!
    The roads are no longer safe……..

  14. ebookace says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for my very first LOL.
    I will humbly ask your forgiveness for not doing better research into Mr. Bin Laden’s age and the etymology of the word “jihad”, but would ask that you consider this fine quote by E.B. White: “Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.”

    • Danbala says:

      I’m sorry for being one of those who came across as thinking less of your lol through picking on the meaning and usage of “jihad”. As I said, it made me giggle, and it still does. :)
      Here, you can borrow this dish towel to wipe up. Your dripping sarcasm formed a little puddle on the floor over there. ;p
      *generally likes sarcasm*

    • Eh, I actually liked this one and took it in the spirit it was intended. Sorry you had the explanation squad bear down on ya.

    • And just to add, I really, really like the E.B. White quote.

  15. Al says:

    Barack Osama+Obama bin Laden=WIN!!!

  16. kami3000 says:

    Osama has NO class at all…


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