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Breaking News – President Obama entered the Matrix today in a last ditch effort to stimulate the failing US economy………
(Barack Obama)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: dunno
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Jump back, invisible ladies!
“‘Cuz every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man”
“Yes I’m bad. I’m nationwide.”
“I’m just lookin’ for some tush.”
I always wondered, when they do that spinning guitar trick, do they have to worry about their beards getting wound around their guitars? ‘Cause that would be awesome, even if it only happened once.
Nope…”‘cuz all you need is a pair of cheap sunglasses”
You didn’t hear about the infamous beard disaster of ’84?! There were small children in the audience that were never the same afterward…
*tear*
It’s so sad.
That’s why Frank Beard, the drummer, doesn;t wear a beard. You should have seen the disaster after he twirled the drums in it. It was horriffic…
Ah, you refer to the dreaded Drum Juggling trick that went so horribly wrong…
FIRST!! To say first anyway.
So, as you come off the wall on a flip-turn, you will be on your side. By taking your first stroke with your bottom hand, your body will naturally roll over into a good swimming position.
ooh, this is a good one! i always used to end up upside down and breathing in a ton of water… not so good.
Not unless you have gills…
michael phelps?
i was never much of a swimmer, i more just swam to stay in shape and have some fun. hence, not knowing simple things like how to properly take a turn off the wall.
I’ve been swimming competitively for waaaaay too long. I still train in the pool most of the year, but only do open-water competitions anymore. I’ve been saying I was going to stop when I hit 40 (the competition, that is), and that happens in April, but my kids want me to keep doing it, so we’ll see…
open water comps? very cool… i’ve been doing some triathlons lately and i love the swimming leg… the bike and the run less so… my dad (who’s 65) got me into the triathlons and i have yet to beat him… so keep it up!
A couple of friends of mine and I competed in a triathlon relay event for charity…could probably handle the swim and the bike…but the run…fuggedaboudit!!
that’s the only part i WOULD be able to do reliably well! 4 years of cross country…
i bike and swim, but as i mentioned before, those aren’t things i’d be really good at. but then again, my running has faded off too.
wow, putting it that way… i’m really freaking lazy! LOL!
The two problems with running for me:
1. It would be after the swim and the bike…
2. My knees are way too shot for any distance over a mile for that kind of constant impact
I only run if it’s an emergency. Or whatever is chasing me is growling.
I’m sure the growling is just it’s way of saying hi.
i only run if the cops are chasing… or my 65 year old dad is gaining on me…
Two guys backpacking in the forest come upon a hungry Grizzly. The first guy looks at the second guy and says “What’re we gonna do?”
Second Guy: “Hang on, I’ve got an idea.”
He drops his backpack and pulls out a pair of running shoes and puts them on.
First Guy: “Do you really think you can outrun that Grizzly?”
Second Guy: “Don’t care…I’ve just gotta outrun you…”
that joke never gets old…
Good tip MG. My little brother just qualified for the conference finals medal race in the 100 fly with a time of 53.07
-
Although the fly doesn’t use that sort of arm stroke on the turn, I’m using it as a good excuse to brag about my little bro.
*can’t wait till summer to try MG’s blowout idea*
the extent of my swimming expertise lies in my ability to throw my voice when shouting “polo!”…..
You should visit Australia and do the Pier to Pub.
Even better? Obama to Bush: “The difference between you and me is, I make this look good.”
WIN!
Used it already, on two or three other lols… ;
looks like Morpheus!!!
Except for the hair, and that he’s skinnier than Laurence Fishburn, and the ears, but other than that…
And the fact that his jacket isn’t leather, he has hair, and his sunglass have a temple leading to the ear, rather than just clipping to his nose…but other than that
No, wait…
If Obama = Neo in this lol, wouldn’t Morpheus have to be a big white guy with wraparound shades?
I think you just made me sprain my brain on that one…
I’m thinking that this needs to be under
Stimulating economy? FAIL!
Stimulating me?
WIN!!
What?
I’m with you. It’s been a week and STILL no results.
And how would that fit with the picture, exactly?
Poorly?
Kind of like Susan’s grasp of the current situation we find ourselves in.
Or her grasp of the fundamental premise of PK!
PK is like a significant other arguing with you… actually making sense is not required as long as they can feel that they’ve won.
Yes, because as we all know, Obama is Glenda the Good Witch and can turn the economy around with the wave of a wand.
Well… Glenda didn’t actually do ANYTHING in the movie version of the wizard of Oz except point out that Dorothy had the means to get back home on her own the whole time. If my memory of the book serves me, she pretty much served the same function there as well. Now later in the series, of course, she does more, but in the Oz series pure magic never wins the day so much as logical thinking. I think Baum was trying to tell us something there. /nitpicking rant.
XD
Looking good sure isn’t helping him do jack with the economy… Can we have someone in office that actually knows how to run things? anyone?
You mean like maybe the guys who slashed taxes, spent like drunken sailors on graft and military gear, did drugs and fncked lobbyists in government offices, stripped away the regulatory system, killed honest competition in business and ran the country so deep into the ground it’ll take us a couple years to dig our way back into the ditch?
Those guys?
Win.
Hey, we gave the other guy eight years to eff it up. I think we can give him a couple of months.
Jackass.
my post disappeared..
my post disappeared TWICE.
That’s about as badass as it gets.
The Oracle has made a prophesy, the greatest hacker will arise and gain access to Pundit Kitchen. He will then post a clever lol picture of Obama which will make him appear stupid or evil, enraging the agents of the left who occasionally post bland lols of the President in the name of “fairness” or something. The people of the world will wake up from their slumber… and with the knowledge that Pundit Kitchen is funny again, will return to the Internet where they belong.
Hard to make someonw who has yet to do something overly stupid or evil look that way… so you’re just a bitter retard…
Problem with Obama is that he’s Oblanda…
If this is the Matrix, give me the gat-damn pill and get me out of here.
you want to live in abject squalor and eat nothing but gruel while fighting machines?
See, I wouldn’t mind that -if it meant I knew the truth. However, the problem is that I wouldn’t know whether or not I was in a matrix inside a matrix…
And the gruel looks ok… Reminds me of porridge….
There are times the ‘truth’ is over rated…
That’s an awfy depressing way to think. I suppose the truth may not be fun but I think it’s probably worth knowing…
I’ll keep my warm goo and cables, thanks…
Gah! You old people…
If you live this long, you’ll see…
spent too much time living with other people’s ‘glands’ in this world to want to sit in a tin can with a dozen sweaty people who don’t shower in another one…
I don’t blame you – like I said, I’d be the one to bargain my way back in… I was rolling my eyes at the “old” thing; for some reason it just struck me as funny.
Nah. As long as what you perceive as the truth is good enough, what’s the point of finding another truth?
(PS: There is no Truth.)
No spoon, either.
[LINK]
Spoon!
[link]
Aww, it’s deleted
I couldn’t get it to save to my favorites, but if
you go to ICHC and search “spoon,” the second
LOL down is what Aedriel had linked. It’s a
shame it won’t save as a favorite, as it’s really
funny!
IT WHAT?!
Try now. *grumble*
AUGH.
I’m sure I’d be the sellout who would take the red pill and then bargain to get back in.
We can bargain together, maybe it will be more effective.
I do that NOW!
I’d take the red pill right now. It looks like a DayQuil, and I’m all stuffy…
Meanwhile, Neo refuses to give up his position as “The One”.
Speaking of Barack Obama:
Barack Obama is a racial-minority individual, and in his heart and mind he inevitably does not endorse hate crimes committed by George W. Bush.
George W. Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism (indicated in my blog).
George W. Bush did in fact commit innumerable hate crimes.
And I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that George W. Bush committed other hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism which I am not at liberty to mention.
Many people know what Bush did.
And many people will know what Bush did—even to the end of the world.
Bush was absolute evil.
Bush is now like a fugitive from justice.
Bush is a psychological prisoner.
Bush has a lot to worry about.
Bush can technically be prosecuted for hate crimes at any time.
In any case, Bush will go down in history in infamy.
Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993
“GEORGE W. BUSH IS THE WORST PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY” BLOG OF ANDREW YU-JEN WANG
______________________
I am not sure where I had read it before, but anyway, it is a linguistically excellent statement, and it goes kind of like this: “If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memories so they never got stale and faded.” Oh wait—off the top of my head—I think the quotation came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.
Pres: I need an exit!
Operator: Left most corner white house lawn.
Pres: Sorry buddy my limo driver can’t take me there!
my post reappeared.
It was your use of a norty word. The filter doesn’t distinguish between the
word “b!tch” and the word “b!tching.”
It has no problem with damn or ass though.
I didn’t know it would accept “damn.” Thanks!
It doesn’t like sh!t, c*nt, or fnck. Are there any others?
R*publican
Now I fell like testing every word. But that’d make for a lot of inane posts.
One funny word is “slut”, which means “end” in Swedish; “sluta” is the verb “end” or “stop”. It gets funny in a somewhat endearing way when we carry on conversations in online games etc. saying things like “Jag måste %#”!a nu.” :p
sl-ut, apparently. :p
*exceedingly shocked* There was no reason to swear!