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Psst, hand me a Kleenex



bill clinton

Psst, hand me a Kleenex, Bill! I’m getting this all OVER my dress …

(Bill Clinton)

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: heatherjlc

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» 91 comments

  1. Daft Punk says:

    Checking my Prodigy dialup connection… yup, it’s 1997.

  2. StreetPreacher says:

    Watching punditkitchen turn into Liberals and Conservatives take alternating potshots at each other a la the Clampetts and McCoys= Awesome. Except for the part where Not at all.

    • scott says:

      so we should be expecting a shot back in a few hours?!?

    • rhorho says:

      *Hatfields* and McCoys, you mean. The Clampetts were the family on “The
      Beverly Hillbillies” on TV. Your last sentence makes no sense. Care to rephrase
      it?

      • pittypat says:

        Y’all arel invited back again to this locality
        To have a heapin’ helpin’ of our hospitality …

      • Jane St.Clair says:

        That Ellie May never could let an insult die, you know. One remark about her pigtails and I couldn’t venture out of my ‘holler’ for a month.

      • StreetPreacher says:

        Yeah, you’re right. ‘s what I get for being up at 4 am, I s’pose.

        • StreetPreacher says:

          And people generally have no problem understanding me when I make the same sarcastic “Except for the part where not at all” reply in real life. Translation: Except for the part where it isn’t in the least bit awesome at all, actually.

      • StreetPreacher says:

        One thing I must confess, though… My only experience with the Hatfields and McCoys is via an old Warner Brothers cartoon. TV show cross-pollination FAIL, apparently.

    • Lola says:

      …except that most Liberals actually have a sense of humor and love a good Bill Clinton joke. Conservatives wont’ even crack a smile at a Bill O’Reilly loofah joke:/

  3. Dani says:

    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  4. Teresa says:

    I really think it’s time to give this one a rest. Really.

  5. D'oh says:

    That’s one cheeky face. But I think we’ve seen enough “lol bill the pervert” captions. Although there is always room for a réally good one, but this one isn’t a réally good one.

  6. thomsedavi says:

    Ho ho ho! Can’t wait for the NIXON lols!!!

    Seriously, who opened the time warp?

  7. George says:

    This joke is so old it’s collecting Social Security.

  8. me says:

    why is ‘OVER’ capitalized? that really isn’t the word that needs to be stressed in that sentence.

  9. slan agat says:

    NOW can the Republican trolls STFU about leaving Bush alone?

    • Uncle Fester says:

      NEVER! You’ll have to pry their ‘Leave Bush Alone’ sticks from their cold, dead, hands…

    • RepublicanTroll says:

      The difference is, Democrats are actually secretly proud of Clinton and his behavior. That’s why this isnt’ really a shot at the Democrats in the same way their fabricated attacks on Bush are. So, probably not…

      • viking gal says:

        Nope. This Democrat isn’t proud of Clinton being a dog. Good president for the most part, but lousy husband and father on this regard. Dude could use a lockbox on his equipment. But then I think that of any gal or guy who can’t honor their partner’s health by keeping it zipped.

  10. Rafiq of the many says:

    sticky fingers.. . . .

  11. Hmmm. I think I’ll work up some Lyndon Johnson and Herbert Hoover lols…

  12. Perhaps it is the lack of breathing talking but I actually found this mildly clever for something that has been overdone. He does have that look on his face like he is up to no good.

    This one is loads better than the usual fare of Bill iz pervurt lolz. So I am just appreciating it for what it is. Something clever, if more than a bit dated.

    /moment of kindness

    • Jane St.Clair says:

      Awww, you big softie! You just have a special spot in your heart of blow jobs, admit it. ;)

      • Uncle Fester says:

        You just have a special spot in your heart of blow jobs

        Is it unusual to harbour such thoughts?

      • National Enquirer says:

        What I’d like to know is, is heatherjlc a staff member or sleeping with one? There sure is an inordinate number of her submissions making the front page, regardless of whether they’re funny or not.

      • I have a very special fondness for getting head, yes. Lynn does things with her mouth that Senators and Presidents would kill for. And now that I have said that, cue unmarked private army through my window in 3… 2… 1…

        *is sniped*

  13. His_Steveness says:

    The saddest thing about this LOL is that it’s actually funnier than the last five or six posted.

    • lowly grunt says:

      Well, I won’t go quite THAT far but it does have more to do with what (may be) going on in the picture than the latest.

      And DWN, I agree with Jane! I was wondering why you were being so nice.

  14. me says:

    Everyone knows it should be illegal to insult Democrats like Bubba and ‘Bama.

  15. Pogonip says:

    *yawn*

    Will someone wake me if a joke is posted?

  16. ACSIS says:

    *sigh*
    Why am I not surprised?

  17. anniemcphee says:

    Well, Clinton was FUNNY – he was funny to imitate and the scrapes he got himself into often had an element of comedy to them as well. Carter, Reagan, the Bushes – there’s stilll plenty of luls to be mined from them; just gotta do it right.

    I like this one; old stuff is OK And it almost seems like the Clinton years are back what with many of the picks. Someone dig old Jocelyn Elders out – no one’s gonna bark about her masturbation comment NOW (there was nothing wrong with it.) Maybe we could live the Obama/Clinton years – 2.0.

  18. MyMyselfandI says:

    Remember boys and girls, Bill Clinton got a hummer in the white house. That will always be worse than anything that any Republican leader has ever done to themselves or the country. Any time the Dirty Liburals seem to be making sense, a good ‘Clinton and Monica’ line will put ‘em away!

  19. RoyBatty says:

    Yes, because who cares about our Rights, the lives of thousands lost or the rampant degradation of all levels of infrastructure when, GASP!, the guy who has been out of office for 8 years had consensual sex.

    When you have to explain to your grand children how a political party could disappear after existing for over 100 years, just explain that that’s what happens when you think the wrong things are important. That Americans forgot about the lies about hummers in the White House when the next guy’s lies got their sons & daughters killed.

  20. PH says:

    hello Bill =P

  21. Uncle Fester says:

    Possibly starring James Spader…

  22. StreetPreacher says:

    Heart of Blowjobs – A ferry-boat captain is employed to transport ivory downriver; however, his more pressing assignment is to return a busty fugitive ivory trader to civilization… with sexy results!

  23. StreetPreacher says:

    Hey now- I’ve also found them to have inestimable value as emetics.

  24. She sighed and tossed her flaming auburn tresses in the breeze from the river. How could Marlow annoy her so easily? And yet…there was something about him, something that made her heart race faster under her firm, supple breasts.

  25. AC says:

    Euch… Romance novels… I had to read a ridiculously graphic French rip-off of Gone with the wind last school year. Put me off the genre entirely… They’re either nauseating or unbelievably depressing (With a few exceptions)…

  26. pittypat says:

    Evidently, it is inevitable that their estimability as ersatz
    erotica is all about hermeneutics.

  27. StreetPreacher says:

    Esteemed so, it’s an egregious error in exegesis.

  28. ACSIS says:

    hey, don’t bogart the spliff

  29. Jane St.Clair says:

    Awwwww, someone is a fan! You’ve been holding out on us, Diss!

  30. pittypat says:

    And the streets were wet with something more than rain.

  31. AC says:

    Why, WHY, do they write like that?

  32. StreetPreacher says:

    That made me lol.

  33. Not in a long, long time, but I will confess to being an avid reader of Rosemary Rogers in high school. :oops: Hardly works of great literary merit…

  34. pittypat says:

    Eternally hung in elegant effigy.

  35. StreetPreacher says:

    Exposed or entombed, it ends in eccentricity.

  36. pittypat says:

    Obversely, entertaining elements are
    on occasion able to endure.

  37. StreetPreacher says:

    Extremely rarely en masse. Such examples are extraordinary in their field.

  38. rhorho says:

    Because old women whose children don’t call buy the
    hell out of those books.

  39. rhorho says:

    Diss is foreverly full of win like that. ;-)

  40. StreetPreacher says:

    I once wound up in a trauma unit with two dogeared copies of Highlights for Children and a TV permanently set to Jerry Springer… Apparently someone told the attending nurse that I was a four year old girl, instead of fourteen.
    Though, why they’d play Springer for a four year old puzzles me to this day. O.o

  41. AC says:

    You mean that if we called Granny less, she’d read more of those books? :shock:
    … She’s started lending them to my mother too, actually…


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