Comments on: Guns don’t kill people

By: Matthew Obay

Matthew Obay — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:45:52 +0000

I Laffed my ass off on the first view.

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:56:20 +0000

Does your mother know that she wasted the money on that charm school for you?

By: Casa

Casa — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 13:16:00 +0000

“without having to face the consequences.”
.
If I call you a jackass, go on and be offended. I realy don’t care. You are still a jackass, and no, I wasn’t just playing.

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 12:23:21 +0000

a blank spoiled Brandon Lee’s day so badly, he never had another. Same with Jon-Erik Hexum…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 12:19:01 +0000

1) you don’t use combustion to get it to speed. since you’re going to hit organs rather than a head shot, compressed air is more than fast enough…
2) Jello when hard frozen is more like lucite than glass… it’s the stuff they
use when you absolutely, positively, have to stop a bullet getting through…
Materials science baby, gotta love it…

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:43:25 +0000

I saw Slacker in Austin. It was fun walking out of the theater, through the
setting for one of the scenes.

By: Anniee451

Anniee451 — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:02:35 +0000

Slacker I thought the bit about the dream of reading a book, and alternate realities was the best, coupled with the woman who kept saying she ought to know, she’s a medical doctor (who owns a mansion and a yacht. You should just QUIT.)

By: Anniee451

Anniee451 — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 06:58:54 +0000

People are mighty stupid and irresponsible to think of owning chimps. They ain’t pets; they are dangerous animals. LINK

From Cracked: “If that clip reminds you less of Ross’s adorable pet monkey on Friends and more of Stephen Seagal “taking out the trash,” that’s because you watched it. Now imagine what that monkey would do to your goofy, non-banana bringing ass if you tried to make him wear a funny hat and a necktie.

Oh, here’s something to make that mental image even worse: On four recorded occasions in the last 50 years, chimpanzees have abducted, killed and eaten human babies. That’s human with an H, as in Homo Sapiens, as in a human baby getting wrenched out of its mother’s arms, dragged off into the forest and devoured by a chimp. We are not making this up.”

By: Anniee451

Anniee451 — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 06:55:46 +0000

People who think guns are talismans that kill on their own without proper human training also kill innocent people.

By: Anniee451

Anniee451 — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 06:53:39 +0000

Yeah it’s often considered bad form to speak ill of the dead. Or, it used to be. To my knowledge, Heston never killed anyone. Maybe they mistook him for Kennedy.

By: Anniee451

Anniee451 — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 06:52:45 +0000

I guess they’ve been pried from his cold dead hands Unless he was buried with one?

RIP dear Charlton. And damn youse all to hell, youse did it, you crazy sonsab*tches.

By: FaileV

FaileV — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 06:25:24 +0000

i really don’t get the urge to have monkey or ape pets, they aren’t domesticated, and even domesticated critters can be iffy if you don’t train them properly. My Chessie now used to drive me nuts when i came home because he likes to “smile” where they imitate a person by bearing their teeth. it’s pretty creepy for a huge thing with fangs.

By: schmoe

schmoe — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 05:07:43 +0000

Okay, for the last time: Guns don’t kill people, it’s THE BULLETS!

By: viking gal

viking gal — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 01:34:34 +0000

oooh! Nice!

By: slan agat

slan agat — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:55:26 +0000

Ladies and gentlemen, kindly note that the Captain has turned on the red oversharing light. Please ensure that all children are securely stowed in the overhead compartments and return your stewardess to her original upright position.

By: herb

herb — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:38:30 +0000

$3.05, a package of Peeps, and a microwave in which to joust them. [Link]

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:35:29 +0000

This is a frequent occurence.

By: Ixnay

Ixnay — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:32:19 +0000

Not that the picture was bad but honestly, I found the comments were hilarious.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:19:04 +0000

[LINK] Madonna pap smear!

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:56:44 +0000

…

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:55:56 +0000

Ya, I try to avoid giving metal bending and violent apes weaponry with which to better dismember me. I have “friends” for that.

By: AnnaBanana

AnnaBanana — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:54:56 +0000

@ Steve: No, she hasn’t had them laser removed. There are some recent stage pics where her pubes are seriously sticking out from under her outfit. One in particular that I’ve seen, she’s wearing a gold tuxedo-type body suit and the lower part is bikini style. It’s almost as nasty as the pictures of her in her book last century.

By: froofrou

froofrou — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:49:37 +0000

Considering the fact that a grown orangutan can take a garage door spring and tie it into a bow without breaking a sweat, I’d say that giving an ape ANYTHING even REMOTELY dangerous is a bad idea.

By: FaileV

FaileV — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:39:47 +0000

you ever seen that special recreating the jfk assasination. those full casing bullets are impressive

By: rhorho

rhorho — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:35:27 +0000

Well, to be fair, the bullet usually suffers from impact, too. Sort of like a little suicide bomber…

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:32:51 +0000

At my possible/inevitable execution, I plan to crack jokes. Bad ones. And laugh, a lot. It will be all I have left anyway.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:30:43 +0000

I’ve heard that type of humor called “whistling past the graveyard.” It’s a healthy coping mechanism for things that are too hard to take.

By: Aedriel

Aedriel — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:53:26 +0000

Ahhhh, now that should have been the caption!

By: dissimilitude

dissimilitude — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:42:29 +0000

@Donk: Does that mean you won’t be finishing that ham sandwich? I’m still kinda hungry.

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:37:43 +0000

Glad to help with your diet…

By: Aedriel

Aedriel — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:36:55 +0000

It would shatter, I’d think.

You can also take rubbing alcohol and dry ice, which combined can be subsituted for N2 liq., for those who don’t have access to liquid nitrogen…

By: dissimilitude

dissimilitude — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:35:47 +0000

Even with the heat from firing it? Interesting.

By: FaileV

FaileV — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:34:38 +0000

good to know.

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:33:16 +0000

It would stay like hard glass for 5 mins…

By: FaileV

FaileV — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:31:03 +0000

wouldn’t it unfreeze or break up?

By: FaileV

FaileV — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:26:41 +0000

this all reminds me of the ‘philosophy of other animals’ class i took last semester. we had an anthropomorphism section and we watched a movie on apes. there’s a part where there are two orangutans with some tools and wood. one had a handsaw and was making sawing motions at the wood and everyone was like ” :O they look so human” but i was just thinking “why the hell would you give an orangutan a saw…they’ll keeeel you…easily”

By: Ixam

Ixam — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:17:37 +0000

FAAAIL

By: Donkephant

Donkephant — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:06:33 +0000

Seriously you guys…? I was just about to go have lunch. Thanks.

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:45:45 +0000

@shortright: No worries, I am like that all the time.

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:44:27 +0000

*Addendum: I am just disturbed at the thought of Madonna’s dry fruit. She hasn’t aged as well as her make up artist would like us to believe…

By: the_original_shortright

the_original_shortright — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:41:23 +0000

@DWN – i fully understand that type of humor. i was sitting here nomming on my lunch and i read it and giggled then thought to myself that it’s a really tragic situation and i shouldn’t be giggling. but then i re-read it and giggled again. i am feeling rather adolescent today though… far too little sleep the last week.

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:36:36 +0000

*warms up bacon a bit and puts to a sammich*

Much better.

@Mothergoose: Meh, that doesn’t really bother me for a description. I don’t expect them to look awesome. I am not there for using my eyes.

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:33:56 +0000

@shortright: Welcome to most of my humor. Somethings just get too messed up to where I can’t help but laugh just to comprehend it all.

By: the_original_shortright

the_original_shortright — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:10:23 +0000

@DWN – that just made me giggle. which is bad because this poor woman is really effed up because she went to help a friend. i feel like a bad person now… (but it’s still funny)

By: mothergoose

mothergoose — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:03:06 +0000

…or, as a male coworker of mine said about his wife’s shaved girlie…”It looked like an open-face ham sandwich”…
*shudders*

By: MsMsBurning

MsMsBurning — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:59:46 +0000

Can I just get the hand?

By: Seth

Seth — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:56:54 +0000

Here DWN, have these two strips of undercooked bacon, that will take your mind off of it.

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:49:22 +0000

For a face so f*cked up, no doctor wants to risk it…

Place your Chimp order now! Operators in Titanium Alloy cages standing by!

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:45:57 +0000

And thus goes my desire for sex for the next five minutes…

By: the_original_shortright

the_original_shortright — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:45:52 +0000

*ignoring comment that made no sense above DWN and answering festers comment*
i don’t know if they’ve got a cadaver jaw on her right now or if they’re just trying to piece things together. i know in other cases they’ve recreated jaws with metal framework in order to start building skin and muscle around it until they found an appropriate cadaver jaw. however that would probably lead to all sorts of gross bone infections and blood infections and stuff from the “open” end of the bones that were broken when the jaw was torn off. all in all, the nurse told me that he asked to not be on her case because it was THAT bad. he worked very closely with the CCF face transplant lady from a few months back but wanted nothing to do with this one because of the severity of everything.