Man, this hall is long. Wonder if the Secret Service would let me wear rollerblades?
(Barack Obama)
Picture by: dunno source via Advanced LOL Builder. Caption by: Bernie22405
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Man, this hall is long.
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Commence Ordinal Post Rule!
Mania (from Greek μανία[1] and that from μαίνομαι – mainomai, “to rage, to be furious”) is a severe medical condition characterized by extremely elevated mood, energy, unusual thought patterns and sometimes psychosis. There are several possible causes for mania including drug abuse and brain tumours, but it is most often associated with bipolar disorder, where episodes of mania may cyclically alternate with episodes of major depression. These cycles may relate to diurnal rhythms and environmental stressors. Mania varies in intensity, from mild mania (known as hypomania) to full-blown mania with psychotic features (hallucinations and delusions).
it’s funny the derivation comes from “rage and fury” and the word almost means the opposite now…. curiouser and curiouser.
Thanks for the interesting ordinal post response
I was going to do “Socialism” but somehow this seemed appropriate.
when i saw your comment i honestly saw the whole things in greek.
*yawn*
where’d da lolz go?
I agree. I come here for LOLz goddamnit!
Ok actually I come here for the conversation. I lied.
Conversate people!
I snurked. A snurk is not quite a LOL, it’s more like a shorter, quieter, and more nasal guffaw. Is that even how you spell it? Snerk? Snirk?
Anyway, allow me to demonstrate how to make lemonade out of lemons.
My mom still has cancer.
And now I finally get my revenge, making HER eat her vegetables.
My wife broke her ankle and lost her job.
I finally got to do things for her without her having an excuse to feel terribly guilty. And her salary was just gravy, I make good money and we’ve made smart life choices, so we don’t have too many expenses. Now she gets to pursue her passion for theater for a while. We may not have money for weekly mani/pedis anymore, but it’s not like I stare at her nails anyway.
Next week on ‘Making Lemonade with Seth’ we’ll cover ‘My wife is sleeping with my virile, well-hung best friend but that’s actually very nice because we’re polyamorous.’
*cries into her lemonade*
Lemonade is for making the happy, not making tears into. I love my life. My mom is happier than she’s been in ages, she has friends and family over ALL the time doting on her and treating her like a delicate princess. That’s all she’s ever wanted in life, why should anyone be sad that she’s found it? She is not afraid of death, the pain management is working wonderfully, she’s lost so much weight that, oh no, she now weighs as much as her mother worked at being her whole life, and they had identical height and bone structure. Now that they have her on pancreatic hormones, she’s eating as much as she ever did and her weight has stabilized. Go go cancer diet plan.
My wife is at an important point of her life path, learning to ask for things and set boundaries when asked for things. Life gives us the lessons we need, when we need them, in my experience. She was in an abusive situation at work, part of a very toxic environment of gossip, disrespect, and outright refusal by others to do their share of the work. She refused to put up with it. She exhausted all other options, meetings with managers, HR, managers managers, the head of the clinic, the people involved, and everyone involved at an Employee Assistance Program meeting.
Ever watch the movie ‘Office Space?’ Remember when Milton said, “That’s it. That’s the last straw. Got to burn it down, at the end? ” Yeah, well my wife said, literally, ‘Fsck you, I’m not taking this anymore, I quite.’ and walked out. Leaving the lazy, gossipy co workers to do all the work. The head of the clinic and HR chased her down. They have a meeting in two weeks when the HR lady gets back from vacation, where Jenny will lay out, in writing, everything that is wrong with the place and what they need to do to fix it. Then we’ll see what happens.
Tears of joy?
At any rate the lesson of lemons into lemonade is moving and I still cry into my lemonade.
Well, the next lesson after lemons into lemonade is lemonade into pee, and that’s a very important lesson as well. Exploding bladders and kidneys are no laughing matter. Do not believe what the cartoons tell you.
Ooh good call.
*runs and pees*
Darn leaping ” marks…
Health insurance or no, a toxic job is best left. The effect of high stress hormones on the health is almost enough to balance out not having health care. I do wish we had national health coverage just so that people could safely leave such jobs.
And I am glad that your mother is in a good mental place. Cancer sucks, though.
But I am learning to live more in the ‘now’, a variant of making lemonade. If I think to much about what is or may be coming, I get teh crazee!
I like the now. But some now I don’t like the now, so I make another now, but it is still now now, if you now what I mean. Now I got lost in my shadow now, but I don’t like that either, so I make another now now.
Ever watch the movie, ‘Synecdoche, New York’?
I’ve pretty much stopped seeing movies because the special effects from computer animation get my motion sickness in an uproar…the opening credits of Batman II made me queasy on TV!
But totally. Live in the now. And when things get totally crapola, try to act so that you won’t have regrets later. Because the worst nows will pass, thank goodness. But anticipating the worst nows during the current now will make the current now stink, too, so I’m working at avoiding that! And eventually the bad now will pass, and one will be in the new now, and can look back on the old now with a little distance, and see the lemonade.
I think I just made my brain hurt, but it helped to ‘talk’ this out. *hugs Seth*
Looking back is making another kind of now out of now. In fact, any kind of mental work is making another kind of now of now. Speculation, reflection, induction, deduction, inspection: these are all very nice nows, but they are at least one now removed from now.
Pleasant things carry with them their own curse, it’s potency equal to the pleasure that thing brings, and the curse’s name is Absence. Unpleasant things are much simpler to deal with. Self conceptions are a type of belief, and beliefs are a type of thing.
If I could remain in the now, pleasant things could still be pleasant while they were pleasant and merely neutral in their absence. Unpleasant things would not need to be unpleasant, because that is a value judgment. Plenty of people have deliberately starved themselves to death with food available just to make a point. Heck, some Buddhist guy sat down in the lotus position, in the middle of an intersection, and poured gasoline all over himself. He had friends there to keep the cars away, should any come. He lit himself on fire and then sat motionless with a serene expression on his face while he burned. That says something about what humans are capable of, don’t you think?
Okay man. I just read that after smoking a j and taking a muscle relaxer and now I’m all tripped out.
Ever ready any Salinger? I think you’d like his stuff.
Everyone should also read the short essay, “What is Man?” by Mark Twain. Look it up, its copyright has expired and it’s on the Internet.
WTF happened to the Photoshop joke? Dude, someone slipped some acid into PK….
*deja screw*
Surely you don’t want that one regurgitated all over your screen again? Sadist!
Well, Teddy Roosevelt’s kids rollerskated in the White House, so there is a precedent.
So you’re saying there’s a rollerskating precedent for a rollerskating president?
*facepalm*
Well, my work here is done.
[bows, departs]
Q: What’s the worst thing about rollerblading?
A: Telling your parents you’re gay.
Ok that made me chuckle a little.
I lol’d!
I don’t get it….
Ignore the name, please, I do not fail. Now, who here can tell me that Barack ISN’T a lazy dumb-butt moron? Be honest, and don’t criticize me. Thank you for cooperating.
If you do not fail, why the name, failey?
I was rather hyper at the time, so I’ll change it right now.
Perhaps you should peruse the ordinal post above. It might be helpful.
And I really don’t know if Obama’s butt is lazy, dumb or moronic.
Judging by Mrs Obama’s twinkle, I suspect that Obama’s butt isn’t lazy!
I’m not sure if that warrants an “ew” or not.
If we have to watch, the ‘ew’. If only contemplated as a concept, I think it can be ‘ew’-free.
But then, I do biology, so my ‘ew’ threshold might be a bit high!
Biology I have no problem with. Naked Obama’s playing with eachother’s butts just.. ew. Now I’m getting the heebie jeebies. Pass.
*and attempt at mastering the advanced smiley*
Yay!
how do you do that?
I typed in colon twisted colon…learned from the below website.
http://codex.wordpress.org/Using_Smilies
So maybe you and I can play with the big kids, now?
in case it didn’t come through as a link
codex dot wordpress dot org backslach Using underline Smilies
you’re an angel for sharing that! all anyone would have gotten from me is ‘i’m very good at what i do’
trying something here – ignore if it fails
ok, it failed, so trying again
a href=”http://planetsmilies.net” title=”dwarf smiley”
i hate trying new things in public! going off to hide now
*sends an understanding hug after bad fairie*
I won’t tell anyone if you don’t!
thanks, i needed that.
an old dog can learn new tricks, but it’s taking this old hag much longer… on the other hand i did find a new tagline to steal, oops make that borrow:
republicans for voldemort
to bad i didn’t run across that before the election ;( oh well, there is always 1012
cr@p that should have read 2010!
Don’t feel bad bad fairie, I still can’t figure out how to do an avatar…
and i’m still working on getting a quote to be set in 5 spaces automatically with the little line on the left and being in light grey – i know it can be done, i’ve seen the directions given out weeks ago, but dang me if i’ll go back and read all the comments to all the pics just to get the instructions.
i never thought i’d say it, but writing code is easier than learning new tricks here. getting old sucks!
@bad fairie: it’s just text] but take out the %’s. I hope this works to actually show the code…
It didn’t….
Oh, well…check your messages & I’ll see if I can do it there.
I think you need to set up a WordPress account (which is free), set up a WordPress avatar, then log into WordPress before coming here (will also work for ICHC, ROFLRAZZI et al).
I just mentally catalogued all of the presidents I could think of, naked. It was awful, don’t try it.
did you remember taft? and i would have mentioned hoover, but it was j edgar and not herbert who had a secret stash of womans lingerie so i guess he wouldn’t count…
Well thanks for that. I’m off to scrub my brain now. With bleach.
clorox has some lovely scents now
This is a statement:”I wonder this.” not “I wonder this?”
It’s not a question. It seems like someone ought to teach people simple grammar before allowing them to post things.
You forgot the implied ‘Do’ before the implied ‘I.’
grammar nazi! this isn’t work, nor school, our lived don’t depend on perfect grammar (maybe yours does?), so give it a rest and enjoy life before it beats you into submission.
Did the wand miss his opportunity or are we not doing that anymore? I’ve been absent too much…
Sheesh, I can’t even type. “wang”, not “wand”
it’s only wand when batteries are included
True, but back in the old days, it used to be DWN’s wang that showed up whenever there was nazis.. He’s slacking or the rules have changed in my absence. I need to be around more… *sigh*
I simply can’t be everywhere at once and I do have proxies who can handle things when I miss things. I thought you were one of them dear. You know that you can wang in my honor.
As for this event, the Wang is steadfast and surging in its dedication to hammering the grammar fascists.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
If only.
Huh. Nesting fail. That was @ Matt.
Or maybe Heelies.
This is more reminiscent of the scene in Brain Candy where the CEO is choppering in and they are all falling all over themselves to get ready; when they find out he has red socks, it makes its way down the line “RED socks, I repeat, RED socks today,” so they roll up the blue carpet and hasten to roll out the red. The punch line comes when he enters the building and actually checks to see that his socks match the carpet.
He’s just like that character anyway, it’s even funnier putting him in the scene. With heelies. Though actually a Segway would be even funnier.
the fact that you just referenced Brain Candy just made my day. awesome movie <3
marry me?
Aw, I’m already married but thanks, you made my day too!
Seth, that’s SUPeriority complex, thanks. Like Obama only not quite so severe.
There, there, emopublican, I’m sure someone understands your pain.
Socialists like yourself don’t understand pain – only how to dish it out and share it equally.
I don’t dish out pain. I dish out truth, which is sometimes painful if you choose to make it so.
And pain shared, in the ‘talked bout’ sense, not the ‘Harrison Bergeron’ sense, is pain diminished. Everyone learns from the pain if it isn’t hidden for artificial reasons.
If the rich are wealthy beyond measure while the poor are starving, taking from the rich to give to the poor is the right thing to do. A little less money means a little less control over the poor, to the rich. It means survival to the poor.
I would never begrudge someone being rich beyond measure. For example, people will bag on Bill Gates for being stinking rich, but one has to admit that he also does a lot for philanthrophy.
If nobody in the world were starving, or dying from lack of other necessities of life, I wouldn’t begrudge anyone anything.
True, but you can’t expect one person to do it all. There are other’s nearly as rich so what are they doing? I’m just saying that at least he’s doing something and not just sitting on his vast billions.
Though you gotta admit he’s a little nuts – it wasn’t very philanthropic of him to release those mosquitos while saying “Why should only the poor get malaria?” All the while when he KNEW (or should have) that DDT would solve THAT problem but we actively PREVENT people abroad from saving the lives of their children by malaria by preventing them using DDT. I wanted to dump a tub of DDT on him for that one and tell him to get a fecking grip. What a tool.
Of course he is setting up bookless schools. That’s…interesting to say the least.
From Wikipedia:
DDT is toxic to a wide range of animals in addition to insects. It is highly toxic to aquatic life, including crayfish, daphnids, sea shrimp and many species of fish. It is less toxic to mammals but cats are very susceptible, and in several instances cat populations were significantly depleted in malaria control operations that used DDT, often leading to explosive growth in rodent populations.[34] DDT may be moderately toxic to some amphibian species, especially in the larval stages. Most famously, it is a reproductive toxicant for certain birds species, and it is a major reason for the decline of the bald eagle[6], brown pelican[35] peregrine falcon, and osprey.[1] Birds of prey, waterfowl, and song birds are more susceptible to eggshell thinning than chickens and related species, and DDE appears to be more potent that DDT.[1]
The biological mechanism for the thinning is not entirely known, but it is believed that p,p’-DDE impairs the shell gland’s ability to excrete calcium carbonate onto the developing egg.[1][36][37] There is also evidence that o,p’-DDT disrupts the development of the female reproductive tract, thereby impairing the quality of the eggshells produced by the bird once its matures.[38] Multiple mechanisms may be at work, or different mechanisms may operate in different species.[1] Some studies have shown that although DDE levels have fallen dramatically, eggshell thickness remains 10–12 percent thinner than before DDT was first used.[39]
Yeah, in development/health Geography we learned that it’s better and cheaper to introduce fish/frogs to the water (to eat the larvae) or to add movement to the water. (so Mosquitoes can’t lay eggs)
It is what I did to control the outdoor water barrel that I set up, I put minnows in. Then when I needed to have my pet Blue Gill out of the house, she had a secondary food source.
Yay! Death to Midges!
*Claps hand over mouth*
Sorry. I’m a Christian, vegetarian, anti-abortion, anti-death penalty, try- to-love-your-enemies person…. But I can’t stand midges… that just slipped out…
Eh, I am a big island of not caring in a large ocean of apathy. I’m fine. I just enjoy the nostalgia of remembering when I got to be a kid wannabe scientist and raise random critters.
I hope to get a house in the country some day and teach Mikey to raise Mantids.
That’s sweet… Can they eat midges too?
*be nice, AC, midges have feelings*
Oh, what about tadpoles? I always loved going to the frogspawn patch and finding half a hundred new frogs… Tadpoles are great….
Tadpoles work as well but it would have been cruel to use them for what I needed as I was using a rain barrel, they would have had a very hard time getting out.
Mantids tend to eat grasshoppers but the smaller ones do eat mosquitos.
That jar of mosquitoes was vetted though. Average old nonpathogen carrying annoyances. Safer than the ones in our backyards in all likelihood.
It was still a stupid trick. Bill used to be a master huckster. Between this and those execrably unfunny Seinfeld commercials, it is patently obvious the man has lost it.
Now, someone at Microsoft is still on the ball, because those little kids are adorable. “I’m a PC and I’m four and a half.” Yes you are, sweetheart. The cutest little four and a half year old PC ever.
It’s obvious to anyone who follows these things that Microsoft has peaked, and is now on the long, slow, downhill slide into obscurity. But who knows, maybe they can pull an IBM, learn to play nice with others, and survive.
Whole heartedly agree about the “I’m a PC” campaign.
The Seinfeld ad with a Gates butt wiggle in it just made my eyes throw up a little.
Why, WHY did you have to remind me about the butt wiggle?
Because I am 98% Evil on Thursdays.
All socialists dish out pain. But you yourself explain exactly that and exactly one of the ways you would choose to do it. Good going!
Conservative capitalists, on the other hand, dish out ice cream, with sprinkles and whipped cream, which they dispense from their asses.
What way would I do it? Are you saying, it’s right and good and just that some people have billions while others are starving?
Yes, Seth, that’s exactly what they think. Screw the little guy. If he wanted to eat, he should just work harder for food. They’ve no concept that the rich guys have taken away many of their opportunities to get even a little ahead.
I KNOW that is what they think. I just want her to admit that she wants poor people to starve to death if they won’t do what they are told.
LOL, She’ll have some sort of twisted justification and twist of words why this is ok.
“I give ‘em the truth, and they THINK it’s hell.” – Harry S Truman
Love Brain Candy, but I have to say, chill with the passive aggressive whining brought on by an inferiority complex. It couldn’t be more obvious if you drew a bulls-eye around it.
Dunk the Drug – it’ll be 72 degrees in your head. All the time.
Oh yes a Segway would be funnier; a Segway is always funny. Actually so is a man in a business suit using one of those mini-scooters with wheels about 3″ diameter.
The original idea is funny though, because the point is that he could get down the long hallway faster, so spending less time not working!
for a man who spends so much time not working, that sure doesn’t stack up to bush:
until 9/11 he’d spent 96 days on vacation, out of 234 days in office; as of 16 jan 2009, he’d spent 487 days at camp david (total of 149 trips) AND 490 days at his ranch at crawford (77 trips). for a grand total of 977 vacation days out of 2920 days in office. that works out to 2 yrs, 8 mo, and 7 days…not bad for a job that only lasted 8 yrs, wish my job gave me 4 months per year paid vacation.
bush sr racked up 543 days in 4 yrs for 135.75 days per year or 4.5 mo per year paid vacation.
so i guess obama deserves to be chained to the desk in the oval office and made to work 24/365
I think I see where you’re coming from, but considering the damage Dubya did, perhaps we should be pleased he spent so much time on vacations?
I desperately want Obama to fix the US economy, because I see no chance that Greedy Gordon and the Badger will fix the UK’s!
i would have liked to have seen him take a permanent vacation long before he didn’t get declared potus for life by cheney, so i have no complaints about the amount of time he was gone
cheney on the other hand should have had to take an all expense paid permanent vacation to an 8×10 with big bubba and a single bunk
Careful, the emopublicans (credit to Seth. GREAT word) will freak out that you dared to bring up Bush. He’s not the Pres any more, ya know. We’re not allowed to rag on him since he’s now a “private citizen”. After all, they’ve left Clinton alone since he left office…right?
eh, one of the perks of being an old crank is bringing up the ‘good old days’ – i’d still be teaching you alls the finer points of the governing that president alzheimers and his foreign policy psychic did if i could make it topical without causing my hair to frizz more
Of course… I’ve noticed a while ago that Obama has spent a lot of time out of the country in the short time he’s been in office. I’m not tring to sound like a biggot, or trying to defend Bush, but I would like to point out it’s too early to say Obama’s going to be much different…
“Out of the country” =/= “not working”
“Out of the country” =/= “working”
all I’m saying is time will tell the tale…
And (since we seem to be using C) there’s no claim that “out of the country” == “working” that I can see.
except for all the meetings with foreign leaders and smart people.
i’m sure that all that happens at all those meetings is photo ops and then passing doobies when the cameras are off.
Here in Australia the PM has spent a great deal of time going hither and yon to meet ‘world leaders’, but the economy here is in shambles, so I don’t know if there is connection between the two. While spending a lot of time out of the country may not seem like a big deal, there isn’t much time for hands on leadership if it’s all done over the phone.
Working vacations are not vacations.
depends on how bad the hangover is or how large the fish that got away was
I believe even Snopes has debunked the “Bush was always on vacation! Blargh!” rumor.
Check my recent lolz, I’ve made it a bipartisan mockery day. Should help calm your nerves. *hugs*
I’m not “pro political party”, I’m anti-idiot.
For anyone who doesn’t know, the UK appoints the policy executive from the legislature, so I support my local member of the legislature on a personal basis, despite thinking that some of the executive (same party) are idiots.
could be, but i couldn’t find anything listed there that would relate to this except a spoof resume… but the amount of time he spent away from the white house is public record – the press corps would be monitoring his movements if for no other reason that to go with
Aww cute. The little president man needs to ask permission to use rollerblades.
Q; What is the hardest part about rollerblading?
A: Telling your parents you are gay.
rollerGAYding.
Our president prolly does it…
Have you come out to your parents yet, Patrick? I mean, come on man, wouldn’t it just be simpler to write, “I’m gay and I’m scared about coming out to my parents, what do I do?” rather than trying to hide it under a cover of homophobia?
Look, there are only two kinds of people who care if someone else is gay: other gay people who know they are gay, and other gay people who don’t know they are gay.
My advice? Tell them now, while you are young. It will be easier. It gives them more time to come to terms with it so that when you and Bruce finally settle down, they can be happy for you both.
Inorite?
Though I think he is a Julian man myself, Bruce might be too rugged for him.
you and seth have given me the best giggles of the day
thank you
Well this is no laughing matter. Bruce has a goatee!
Nah, it’s a soul-patch!
Good luck explaining that gay people have souls to the homophobe.
i think it might be easier to get them to agree that dogs have souls
Seriously, people! How is this funny! How the hell does this get 4/5 Lincolns!
it isn’t the captions that deserve the lincolns, it’s forcasting the quality/vitrol of the threads they engender
Hey Barack, get a pair of Heelys