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World hide and seek


osama bin laden

World hide and seek champion

(Osama Bin Laden)

Picture by: dunno source via Our LOL Builder. Caption by: dunno source

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  1. Rafiq of the many says:

    How can we not find a man who has to have dialysis multiple times a week in Pakistan?

    Oh, that’s right. Pakistan has a weak gov’t that harbours terrorists. Carry on.

    • Kinoko says:

      Or he’s already dead and the government/media still uses him as a figurehead since Saddam was publicly executed and they’re still desperately trying to maintain some sort front so they can continue their agenda of mass genocide for fossil fuels.

      • mothergoose says:

        I don’t think he’s dead…but his health can’t be good. Cave Dialysis is a risky proposition. We need to train a team of gun-toting spelunking doctors…

        • PortlandMark says:

          “I don’t think he’s dead”

          I don’t have the slightest idea, but remember the Pakistani female political leader assasinated in the bomb blast last year or the year before? She was recorded shortly before her death talking about the major players in the tribal regions, and at one point mentions one guy and describes him as the “one who murder Bin Laden”. I’ve been wondering ever since whether we are the last nation on earth to find out he’s been dead for a while, and who exactly had her murdered…

        • amerikanerdad says:

          i.e. Sandra Oh, George Clooney, and Hugh Laurie? Done.

      • meow says:

        Eh, heard it. If your gonna rant ya gotta add some Zazz it! Here try: He’s just a space alien and the government it keeping him locked up until he releases his secrete Cheese formula, which is a super hybrid of swiss and blue, only it makes you fart glitter!

        Hey, at least its original.

      • Dhoti says:

        You realize that “genocide” has a strict definition, right? It’s not one of those words like “right-wing”, “Bill O’Reilly”, or “the Detroit Lions” that you can just throw around when you don’t like something — the thing you’re referring to actually has to meet the definition. So, since the Iraqi people are not, in whole or in part, being systematically destroyed, it’s not actually genocide. Understand?

        Go back and poke holes in the moon landing, you wacko.

        • slan agat says:

          Dude, get serious, there is not one shred of conclusive evidence that the Detroit Lions actually exist! :P

          • Dhoti says:

            I should have been more specific. After last season, there’s no question that the Lions exist, albeit in a parallel dimension of suck. But Lions *fans* — good luck finding some of those.

            • the_original_shortright says:

              i know some of them… they’re a lonely group of people.
              although, as a browns fan i owe the lions a lot of love… they made my team look “not terrible”. any time someone bashed the browns the canned response was “at least we’re not the lions”.

      • paws4thot says:

        You might want to ask, oh Iraqii Kurds or Iraqii Marsh Arabs, who was trying to commit genocide in Iraq and when.

        And incidentally, “mass genocide” is tautology unless you intended to suggest (probably state sponsored) murder of multiple racial and/or religious groups.

      • Ev says:

        Sort of like a sinister version of Weekend at Bernie’s?

      • Sara Pulis says:

        He’s probably either already dead or our people have some dirty deals going on with the group(s) harboring him. Either way, we need someone to trot out every so often for our Two Minutes’ Hate and a top hat-wearing capitalist isn’t the image our government and media wants us to identify with evil.

        • bad fairie says:

          fwiw – do a google search on ‘bush connections to bin laden’
          some sites are leftist crackpot conspiracy sites, but there are also many reputable sites that provide sources for some amazing ties….

          where is osama? has anyone really seached the crawford ranch?

    • Captain Wow says:

      And he’s 6’4, missing a few toes, and walks with a cane…. how hard is that to find?

    • PortlandMark says:

      Isn’t Pakistan a republican/conservative/libertarian ideal? No taxes, no gun control, no labor laws, no EPA tellin’ you how much you’re allowed to pollute, no minimum wage… man, why aren’t you guys moving there en masse? Is it all the brown people?

    • Nasrallah says:

      You people of the west cannot find him because we have denied your access within our borders. Sure, you can sneak your secret agents into our borders with your spy planes or spy on our lands with your advanced satelite system. But if you do capture Osama bin Laden on our soil, you will be condemned by the world for intruding our borders.

      HA! Everyone knows where Osama bin Laden is, but you are not going to catch him without devastated consequences!

  2. i_@m_#1 says:

    Am I the only one who wants to vomit upon sight of this repulse pond scum sucking (insert swear word here)?

    • scott says:

      I dont, but thats only because I use the picture as a dart board

    • Gustav says:

      What do you feel for those that trained him?

      • Dhoti says:

        He’s a financier and organizational leader, not a mujaheddin, so the whole “who trained him?” question probably doesn’t apply in the way you mean.

        Unless you’re alleging that Operation Cyclone did more than just pass money to the Pakistanis, or funneled any money to non-Afghanis, in which case, I’d like to see your evidence…

  3. meow says:

    Now heres my advice for dealing with the guy. Instead of killin’ him, we lock him in a stockade and each and every morning we have him anally raped by a farm animal.
    No pigs though, he’s done enough screwing around with islamic imagery.

    • Dhoti says:

      Even better — we topple his host government, kill most of his lieutenants, go after his movement around the world, and drive him so far underground that he becomes disconnected and irrelevant.

      Oh, wait… :)

      Still, I’m not saying I don’t want to see his preserved head on a pike in the Ellipse — that’s a symbol even the most barbaric can understand.

      • The Man from Oz says:

        Wowza, no one likes the O man? I think he’s hilarious, and word has it, for a crazy islamofascist, quite popular with the ladies.
        Don’t take that lot so seriously, yanks, they believe that Mohammed wrote the hadiths : P

      • Ya know, there are rare moments where the clouds part and we see eye to eye. This is one of those moments. We haven’t had a head on a pike in quite a while. I think we are past due for one.

        • Jane St.Clair says:

          Not since I redecorated Max’s Fortress of Doom anyways.

        • bad fairie says:

          you people are so predictable and ordinary!

          dress him in traditional womens clothing (minus the burka), superglue his lips to a captured suicide bomber’s (who failed btw) wang, then drop them both into the street in front of the biggest, most conservative mosque in tehran 15 min before evening prayer

          • Kurt says:

            While some of the ideas for giving Osama what he deserves are admittedly quite amusing, I have to disagree with, well all of them. If or when, depending on your level of optimism, he’s captured, he should be given a fair trial, then be executed like a common criminal. No making a big deal out of it. No making him into a martyr. Just a private, non televised room with someone sticking a needle in his arm, or pulling a switch, or whatever. The elaborate public executions? That’s how he’d no doubt want to be executed, in such a manner that lets his followers point at us and say “See? The americans call us barbarians, yet they are just as barbaric as they claim we are” And they’d be justified in saying that. More of the world would hate us. Someone would rise up to take Bin Laden’s place, and we’d be right back where we started. Is that REALLY what anyone wants?

    • PortlandMark says:

      The very worst thing you could do to him would be to treat him like some second class drug mule caught with fifty bucks worth of heroin- lock him up, with no admirers, and make sure he lives a long life in prison. Treat him well and let the fence sitters who haven’t yet joined Al Quaeda think that we might be a better alternative than radical islamic clerics.

      • slan agat says:

        Awwww, can’t we at least put him in general population with someone who’ll stretch his bunghole for him?

        • AC says:

          Yeah, that’ll show the world how morally superior the west is…

          • Let one guy endure horrors a fraction less than the horrors he inflicted. I don’t recall anything being said about moral superiority as moral superiority is a farting contest to see who stinks the most.

            • AC says:

              Well, an idea of moral superiority seems to be what allows the right wing troll population to take joy in killing whoever they feel like…

              • Yet all three guys in the thread you responded to aren’t right wing… So your statement means what exactly?

                But I see where this argument goes and thus I won’t bother with it. You accept only a black and white truth while I see a world of gray. So let’s cut to the chase.

                Moral superiority is a farting contest, even if you win, you still smell.

                • AC says:

                  Just something that is awful in general, not directed as an attack on anyone on this thread in particular. I didn’t like to see left-wing folk nearing it, even in humour, and Slan’s post seemed a convenient place to say something.
                  Also, you’ll smell if you try and prove your moral superiority but leading by example can’t hurt…

                  • AC says:

                    e.g. Getting rid of your nukes before whining about anyone else’s rather than trying to justify why you’re allowed them…

                    • I will totally get right on getting rid of the nukes in my basement… Making the argument about nuclear disarmament to the group who isn’t for nuclear armament is preaching to the choir and a tad obnoxious.

                      You have a point but it is a “Well Duh” point that we already realize. And by We, I mean the dips lurking here posting inbetween doing actual work.

                    • froofrou says:

                      I’m sorry, I will always believe that if the other guy has a nuke, we should have a bigger one. You’ve got crazy little dictators in other countries who don’t understand anything but a bigger gun because that’s their culture and what they’ve been taught their whole lives, and saying that we will get rid of ours first to lead by example will only allow them to laugh at the fact that we are the first kid on the playground to lay down for the bully. Reagan’s itchy trigger finger is my hero.

                      • HairySexyTroll says:

                        Amen. The world was a more innocent place when it was bipolar with only two fingers on buttons.

                        Ever since it got all schizo’d and MPD’d with more scrabbly little button fingering, I’ve had teh scared.

                        Teh Cold War. I miss it.

                      • Kurt says:

                        I have to disagree froofrou. If the other guy has a nuke, we should have a way of shooting it down.

                        • froofrou says:

                          We do have that capability. Star Wars. Once again, Reagan is The Man.

                        • Kurt says:

                          I’m going to have to concede this one because I’ve been lazy a bit and I really don’t know what the status of SDI is. I don’t THINK it’s up and running, but I’m not sure so I’m not going to make any claims.

                        • froofrou says:

                          I dont’ think it’s up and running, but that doesn’t make it any less of teh awsum as far as the safety of the country goes. We need SDI and a bigger nuke, and someone with an itchy trigger finger at the helm. The evil dictators of the world who only understand strength as opposed to diplomacy need to think that we will level them and put in the next Wal-Mart where their country used to be. That’s not to say we can’t be diplomatic where it is warranted, but I highly doubt Kim Jung Il or Achmey are doing anything but laughing at us behind their perfectly manicured hands while we flounder about trying to play nice.

                        • Kurt says:

                          We should have the nukes. We should have the way to defend against nukes. And we should have the wisdom to not use them unless all other avenues have been exhausted

    • fpelayo says:

      no no no… if he’s as big on his religion as he claims, just chain him to a wall and shave his religiously-grown beard off, and keep him clean-shaven every week or so :P

  4. yasoup says:

    I’m supposed to “love my enemies”. My enemies, yes…but not the world’s enemies. >;) That means I’ll chuck some Bibles at Osama! :p

    • Dhoti says:

      Comparative religion 101 FAIL

    • Seth says:

      Love all enemies. Remember they are sentient beings, just like you. Finite beings in an infinite universe. Love the sinner, hate the sin, and understand that the perpetrator of sin is a victim too. Have equal compassion for everyone, from Hitler to the Dalai Lama. I mean, if you get a chance to go back in time and shoot Hitler in the face when he was still a lousy art student, take it, but don’t hate him. I would even say, “Sorry, I know you have no idea why I’m about to kill you, but let me assure you it’s for a good cause.”

  5. Evertide says:

    Madeline McCann challenges him!

  6. Rafiq of the many says:

    What somebody needs to do, is secretly get into Sallie Mae’s college division, and add his name in as defaulting on a $30,000 dollar student loan. Then I bet they would find him. ;-)

  7. Nida says:

    Give him a sex change and force him to live the rest of his life as an Islamic woman. ;)

  8. dahumanz says:

    No I am the champion!!
    (or did anybody found me? i guess not!)

    You dont even have a picture of me!!

  9. Andrew says:

    I thought the champion was Anne Frank?

  10. wowhow says:

    Osama is hiding inside the Pentagon

    • HairySexyTroll says:

      Osama is hiding under the Resolute desk…

      • Dhoti says:

        Well, he is a secret Muslim, right? Very sneaky…

      • Osama’s been on hold with Dell Customer Support since November 2001. However, he has been assured that their call is very important to them, and I’m sure they’ll get to him soon.

        • viking gal says:

          WIN!

        • the_original_shortright says:

          he stands a better chance than i do at understanding their accent though.
          i HATE calling them, being on hold for a half hour and then getting “karen” on the phone and karen has an accent so freaking thick i can barely tell it’s english. then the things karen tells me to do are all things that have already been tried and failed but “please try it again for me”. and finally after 50 minutes on with karen she tells me “i can not help you. please call this number for our such-and such support” and it starts all over again.
          with as many unemployed americans out there… can we start putting call centers back in the US???? PLEASE!?

          /rant

          • They moved a number of jobs out of the country at my work and tried to convince us that it wasn’t outsourced as they are multinational so it was just moving assets around.

            I am sure the new call center made in Guatamala is just moved assets…

            • the_original_shortright says:

              i work at an insurance company… we’re small, not anyone you’d ever have heard of. we have our call center, literally, down the hall from my office. the last handful of clients that we’ve won it’s been *because* we do not outsource and everyone you get on the phone is completely 100% fluent in english. we’ve stolen clients away from our competitors and part of it is that the CSRs speak the bloody language.
              in your situation though, i’d suggest moving to guatemala. they’ll eventually “move all the assets” there. plus it’s warmer and prettier than iowa (i got that right, right?)… and i’ll bet they’ve got their own variety of kink down there for you and lynn to pick up on!

              • Nah, I plan to move on if they don’t hire me on here since I am still a temp right now. I am not in the mood to play games with HR.

                As for Guatamala, I would prefer to stay out of the South American area. It’s cheaper down there for a reason and I prefer to avoid it.

                And I can see how your company would steal people away. Hell, maybe I should move to your state and apply…

                • the_original_shortright says:

                  only move here and apply if you really hate your life. and i mean REALLY.
                  the work environment is toxic. we do a great job for our customers but the turnover rate is over 25% because the actual employees all hate each other. i’ve been here a year and a half and as much as i’m grateful to have a job i’m hoping to not be here for a 2 year anniversary. or at least not in this capacity. the people i work with currently could have made mother theresa want to cause them immense physical harm.

                  • Eh, we could make it pleasant for each other. We would have somebody to talk to who wasn’t a complete idiot. *has pieces missing still*

                    • the_original_shortright says:

                      plus i get the distinct feeling that plotting the demise of everyone else working here would be a lot more fun with another person to plot with. currently, i feel like milton… except my stapler is black and it jams all the time.

                      • It usually is. We could collaborate on torture techniques, methods of disposal, what arbitrary lists of rules we could come up with in a game of pitting them against each other as competitive food sources in some underground maze…

                        • the_original_shortright says:

                          torture for the 2 blondes i share an office with would be pretty easy. “you see this big mac with fries and a regular coke? if you don’t do what i want you to do, i’ll force you to eat the WHOLE thing. it’s 1245673 calories!”

                          they’d cave. so not only are they evil, they’re totally vapid too.

                        • I might be able to do one better. Drop them into a hole with nothing but each other, a mirror, and a supply of cheeseburgers and soft drinks.

                          To live they must eat fatter foods and they can’t escape the mirror or each other.

                          Then we can place bets on who breaks the mirror or kills the other. Sure they will thrive for a while but that is where the patience comes into it.

                          But I like your idea if we want to extort them.

                        • the_original_shortright says:

                          the one (i’m not even exaggerating) only eats pretzels and only drinks diet coke, from the can.

                          i’ve never seen her drink water or coffee or tea or lemonade or anything else. diet coke from the can. and on her desk at this exact moment are 2 family size bags of pretzels. both are open. she’s probably 5’5″ and 105lbs on a fat day. she’s probably got an ulcer the size of france from the diet coke and she’s got to be perpetually hungry…

                        • Perfect… *temples fingers and grins wickedly*

                        • the_original_shortright says:

                          if i didn’t know you were quite a bit younger than this… i would definitely picture you like mr. burns.

                        • I’m ahead of my time with levels of spite, malice, and diabolical ways of thinking out torture.

                • eddiepscetti says:

                  I have heard that Costa Rica is pretty nice. Maybe you could telecommute?

          • PortlandMark says:

            [link] to Foamy the Squirrel on this topic.

            • the_original_shortright says:

              i will have to watch that at home. my officemates can’t tell i’m goofing off when i’m typing. when i’m giggling at a cartoon squirrel it’s just a little too obvious.

              haven’t watched foamy in a LONG time though.

      • crxmanpat says:

        At the “hiding under the resolute desk” comment. He’s not been under there since the Clinton Administration. ;-)

      • Marshy says:

        I hear he’s hiding in one of three places:

        Your living room couch (you find a lot of stuff in there)
        Among the cast of Mad TV
        The Disney Small World ride

        • bad fairie says:

          can’t be behind the sofa, that’s where beejeebuz keeps turning up
          (they’re not the same person are they?)

    • rly says:

      Osama is hiding from Chuck Norris

      • eddiepscetti says:

        Wouldn’t you? The last thing you want is Chuck pissed off at you..

        • Kurt says:

          Sorry eddie, Chuck may be badass, but he aint’ got nuthin on William Shatner OR Samuel L Jackson.

          • froofrou says:

            Chuck Norris chewed both of them up and spit them out. Shatner is Teh Awsum, but Chuck Norris laughs in the face of awsum.

            • Kurt says:

              Really to determine if Chuck or Bill are more awesome comes down to who’s cooler out of Bruce Lee and Malcolm McDowell. Seeing as that is what it takes, respectively, to kill each of them. And Malcolm is in Fallout 3 so he gets my vote.

            • Kurt says:

              The only way to measure who wins between Chuck and Bill is to look at what it takes to kill them. Bruce Lee and Malcolm Mcdowell, respectively. Between the two Malcolm gets my vote because nobody does evil like Malcolm. Plus being in Fallout 3 doesn’t hurt.

            • Kurt says:

              Okay i’ve tried replying to this twice, and it got eaten both times so i’m going to give the short version of the post. William Shatner is cooler than Chuck Norris because Malcolm Mcdowell is pure evil.

    • cj says:

      no hes hiding up Perez Hilton ass cause they are both gay and both terrorists death to both of them

      • the_original_shortright says:

        i see someone didn’t give you your thrice daily dose of haldol…

        • cj says:

          its actually Quetiapine and if i wasn’t dosed up on that i’d grab a gun and blow all osma’s cousins away myself just get an m-16 and head to a mosque. That and if i can find my way out of this damn padded room

          • bligated says:

            I want you to think really hard, it may hurt your head a bit…But do you remember how you get there?

  11. Maiden! says:

    LMFAO!

  12. Corbin says:

    i do believe anne frank did better. and that there are a few more wanna bee b-tards here than i thought.

  13. Guess Again says:

    “that there are a few more wanna bee b-tards here than i thought.”
    ….you’re surprised by that maybe?

  14. topaz95 says:

    It’s easy to hide if you’re dead.

  15. Forge says:

    Sock puppet kept under Dick Cheney’s desk and pulled out so they could go BOOGEYMAN WUHH!!! Every couple of weeks. Fallen into disuse under new administration.

  16. Dunk says:

    If he’s the World Champion in Hide and Seek, then perhaps the Ministry of Silly Walks should be placed in charge of finding him.

    • Abbie crane says:

      Why do we need to seek him out and destroy him when Pakistan has made a deal to allow the Taliban rule in tribal areas? I mean I’m not saying attack Pakistan since India’s right next door and I rather like India.
      Besides I think its time we begin wondering why Bin Laden hates us? I mean I don’t think it’s for an entirely unfounded reason.

  17. GuyWithASenseOfHumor says:

    LOL the champion of hide & seek is OSAMA BIN LADEN :P
    nice nice *stumbl’d*

  18. Ilikegreen says:

    I like meows idea!

  19. funny says:

    hahahahahahaha

  20. Hisbollah says:

    You people of the west cannot find him because we have denied your access within our borders. Sure, you can sneak your secret agents into our borders with your spy planes or spy on our lands with your advanced satelite system. But if you do capture Osama bin Laden on our soil, you will be condemned by the world for intruding our borders.

    • cj says:

      why dont you all stay within your borders instead of driving our taxis trying to rape our women and refusing to wear our deoderant? If you b’tards would all f%ck off back to the middle east and hump your camels the world would be a better place. osama bin laden is a paedophile he’s hanging round some raghead kindergarden

      • Hisbollah says:

        Hey, don’t mock our great prophet Mr. Honorable Osama bin Laden, peace be upon him. Wait, never mind… he isn’t dead yet.

        Yeah, you will never find him! You infidels of the west. He will probably die within our borders and rise up like the great Mohammad did in Jerusalem. When Mr. Honorable Osama bin Laden dies, our land will become prosperous with virgins and lil’ boys.

  21. Fopsie says:

    LOL everyone is looking in the wrong place. He shaved his beard and moved to SA.

  22. Freckle says:

    Olly olly oxen free!

  23. OTT says:

    maybe osama’s just an idea. a front used by the terrorists to scare ppl

  24. dhcv says:

    Not anymore


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