One company actually told me I couldn’t get their databooks (free) unless I went, so I never designed-in their parts again. They folded.

Umm.

Okay, no I don’t. I can’t believe he wouldn’t do that, though.

Doesn’t exactly lend itself to any innuendo, does it?

A guy I used to know (he looks like me, but blond, and only an 80% copy in size) came back from Tokyo with a disturbing, provocative story. He rode the subway, from who-knows-where to I-never-been-there. At first, there he is, standing with one hand on the bar strap. After about six stops, he looks around and realizes he’s surrounded by a six deep crowd of Japanese schoolgirls in white blouses, plaid skirts, and knee socks, all staring adoringly and hoping he’ll talk to them.

I’m pretty sure my head would asplode.

(note) while searching for what they changed the name to, I found a site that claims this story is just an Urban Legend

I don’t care. It’s a great story anyway!

(not that there would be anything wrong with that)

I have been fortunate to be taught by some skilled examples in our field, and I kind of wish I could get a job passing that knowledge on. My current employer thinks I can pass that knowledge on between “Okay, you’re on time, your uniform looks good” and “get out there and take table 23 because they’ve already been waiting 75 seconds”

A few years ago, I went to the one for new managers. A seven hour seminar broke down into:

First two hours: jokes and anecdotes.
Third and 1/2 hour: how PowerSkills helped the presenter
*Break*
Two and 1/2 hour: Basic skills for new managers, like “show up to work on time” and “don’t let your employees get away with s**t”
Last Hour: other PowerSkills lectures we might like our employers to pay for.

Forget restaurant management, I want to get a job teaching those classes! Fifty suckers- no, wait- Fifty Empty Slates waiting to be imprinted with my propaganda, @ up to $500 per head net?!? What the hell am I doing WORKING for a living?!?

9. Budapest zoo – Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, please give it to the guard on duty.

8. Acapulco – The manager has personally passed all water served here.

7. Instructions on a multipurpose knife in Japan – Caution: Blade Extremely Sharp! Keep out of children.

6. Germany’s Black Forest – It is strictly forbidden on our camping site that people of different sex, for instance men and women, live together in the tent unless they are married to each other for that purpose.

5. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo – When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

4. In a Bucharest hotel lobby – The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

3. Swedish furrier – Fur coats made for ladies from their skins.

2. Bangkok dry cleaners – Drop your trousers here for best results.

1. Copenhagen airline office – We take your bags and send them in all directions.

According to TravelBiz.com.au in April, 2003 the Hong Kong Tourist Board tried to either pull their ads or have their slogan changed. But it was too late to change the campaign that was on billboards throughout Hong Kong and in British versions of Cosmopolitan and Conde Nast Traveller.

The slogan that was running “Hong Kong: It will take your breath away.” unfortunately coincided with the SARS epidemic that resulted in numerous deaths. Shortness of breath is one of the main symptoms of SARS.

In the late ’70s, the American computer company Wang was puzzled why its British branch refused to use its latest motto “Wang Cares”. However, to British ears the motto sounds too close to “wankers”. (masturbaters).

Wang WANG WANGGGGGGG1

I needed that morning laugh.