Breaking News – Epic battle begins: Putin hunts Loch Ness Monster
(Vladimir Putin)
Picture by: Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin (Alexei Driz. Caption by: zoe via Breaking News Builder
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SCORE- Federation of Monster Hunters International (FMHI)
PUTIN=1
MONSTER=0
Nice anatomy illustration! But I hope that watch is waterproof…
Are you kidding? James Bond would be jealous of that watch! You can dive 300 meters down with it, and it would still work. And it shoots lasers too:)
Putin shoots lasers out of his EYES. He doesn’t need a watch for that.
(Wait, did I just turn Putin into a Chuck Norris-esque internet hero?)
no no no haven’t any of you seen the colbert report he shoots lazers of of his nipples.
nipple lazers and kung fu grip!
But so does Obama, so it’s a space nipple battle to the death!
Obama has nipple lazers? Since when?! And how did I miss that report?
national secret, so of course it was broadcast on the cobert report.
lazer nipples
telepromiters he throws like cap’n america
real life like hair
his megatank…i mean president car transforms into space robot suit
Oooh. I missed one Colbert report, and I’m totally uninformed!
if you got comcast, you can go back ondemand and see the older skits.
Or watch Hulu
Watch it ON Hulu, rather. Ya know…if it doesn’t pull that “Not available in your region” BS
Hulu doesn’t work for me.. being Down Under has it’s disadvantages at times.
*huggles Eds*
I’m sorry dude.
Eddie, look up a U.S. proxy server on google- you’ll probably be able to find one rather easily, and lying about your location to the interweb log is particularly useful sometimes.
Hope Nessie to win
ditto
GO monster, GO monster, GO monster…!
question is who is the monster hereß
heress?
Must be German. ::nods knowingly::
Technicallyh, it would be heresz. The essette (b with a tail) Comes from sz, and ss is a modern replacement for lazy people, but they are not interchangeable.
True, but they were attempting to make a question mark…
Oh, nice to know, Rusz!
Thanks for the info! I’ve only ever heard it referred to as “a double-s”. Now I know better.
Tough call. I thought he was the creature of the black lagoon crossed with Smith, crossed with the Terminator…
happy vladurday everyone!
In Communist Russia, butterfly do you!
Who swims butterfly stroke voluntarily? It’s a horrible stroke.
*voluntarily offeres a stroke*
putin…for everything about putin is horrible and EVIL !!! EVIL!!!!!!
Agreed. Freestyle and occasionally breaststroke are so much more relaxing.
Although, Putin could just be preparing to wrestle the shark with laser beams on top in it’s home environment.
I only dog paddle (uses giant voice from The Princess Bride)
In a battle between Putin and Chuck Norris, who would win?
Putin. Definitely
Vlad, all the way. I don’t even know the question but I know the answer is Vladimir Putin.
Putin. Do not underestimate the power of the KGB contacts.
That made my brain freeze.
Strawberry Shortcake.
It’s hard to say. Between the obnoxious “facts” and every recent media appearance it’s easy to forget that Chuck was one hell of a martial artist back in the day.
That said, Putin probably has cybernetic implements and whatnot.
Vladmir Putin is Lex Luthor, except more kickass
Putin has a black belt in Judo, so it could be an “interesting” contest.
He can’t play badminton, though.
Implements? I meant implants. What the hell was I thinking?
I got it
Everyone else.
Nobody would win. Such a battle would in fact destroy the entire universe.
-puts on a yellow asscot- now gang lets find out who putin really is…-pulls off putin mask- CHUCK NORRIS?!?!?!?!
Is an asscot like a finger cot for the nether region?
no that be banana hammock
I was thinking it would be an ass sling, myself!
I always wondered that myself.
GRE Verbal
g-string is to granny-panty as banana hammock is to:
A. bungcloth
B. asscot
C. red-eye patch
D. deepends
Putin X Norris..
the planet won’t survive…
That math hasn’t even been discovered yet.
if you could understand it, you would be so powerful you would not need it
I’m just worried that we’d blink out of existence if there ever was anything on the other side of the = !
dont worry, if we ever blinked into nothingness we would become the dreams of the things that replaced us.
*drinks beer*
Uhhhmmmm….. 42?
-poof, everything blinks out-
*swims away* Thanks for all the fish!
-waves- by reality…glad trolls is just figments of imaginations…
But you seemed so real to me..
cause you firment too!
but that ok, cause we safe from world destructions
That’s hot.
we snuggle up, have some wine, watch the world burn!
*snuggles*
Sure, don’t bother saving Trogdor. Perhaps I shall swallow them both up to stop the explosion and sacrifice myself, eh?
No.
People suck.
That’s why I’m flying up to the Vorgons and eating them!
Trogdor, silly. You are also a figment. Um, unfortunately you’re not old enough to drink. Want some Dr. Pepper?
It’s okay. We were all mostly harmless anyway.
So long, and thanks for all the fish / So sad that it should come to this / We tried to warn you all, but, oh, dear / You may not share out intellect / Which might explain your disrespect / For all the natural wonders that grow around you / So long, so long, and thanks for all the fish! The world’s about to be destroyed / There’s no point getting all annoyed / Lie back and let the planet dissolve around you / Despite those nets of tuna fleets / We thought that most of you were sweet / Especially tiny tots and your pregnant women / So long, so long, so long, so long, so long! So long, so long, so long, so long, so long! So long, so long, and thanks for all the fish!/ If I had just one last wish / I would like a tasty fish!/If we could just change one thing / We would all have learnt to sing!/Come one and all / Man and mammal / Side by side / In life’s great gene pool!/ So long, so long, so long, so long, so long / So long, so long, so long, so long / So long, so long and thanks for all the fish!
yay cut and paste!
*sniff* I’ll miss you Eric.
if it helps, you can lays on floor and put bag on head
Don’t worry about me. I know where my towel is.
I love Lays (TM). I can’t eat just one!
Oh god, I read that like something a shipping listing. If Putin and Norris spawned, what would come out- Evil Jesus?
no no putin is pure thrashing ugly evil
chuck is the glowing white source of all that is good and right in the universe.
they would give birth to a yin-yan
Awwww, he’s kinda cute!
(Putin, I mean)
bitter troll is pretty cute too.
This is clearly impossible; as soon as you postulate the one, you deny the existence of the other.
Putin is the new Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, we don’t know how he won because there is no body left…
oh man I love vladurday!
I say Vlad’s gonna kick the loch ness monster’s ass!!
You’re forgetting one thing – Nessie is Scottish.
Welcome to All Things Scottish – if it’s not Scottish, it’s craaaapp!! Can I help ye?
putin is only interested in nessy cause he wants a mighty steed worthy of his vladerness.
putin would ride her ( yes nessy is a her, trolls know these things) in the sky thanks to magical robot wings
Putin + Nessie + riding = EPIC PRON!!!
Then after the rough and violent sex between man and slippery slimey long necked sea beast, putin and nessy will defend our breakfast cereals from the dread invasions of the soggies…milk monsters squeezed from the teet of pure evil
Sasquatch and chupacabra get cameos in that?
bigfoots be the ref in a fight with no rules
Cage match!
Chupa-thingy. How about that? I like it. It’s got a ring to it.
him bikini clad ring girl
hells yeah
I’ve never before been inspired to write slash pron, but I think I might have a go at that.
I’d ‘bate to it.
This made me smile. *vanishes*
Hey, man. Where did that cat go?
It was a glitch in The Matrix.
there is no spoon
-throws spoon at neo, hits him and watches him cry-
hmmm guess there is a spoon afterall…
They’ve changed something….
*looks in his pants*
Oh hell F*CKING YES! You ROCK matrix!
…Loch Ness Monster is scared.
I thought he WAS the Lock Ness monster…
why would you think that?
him not even scottish?
According to Nessie those damn Scotts are the illegal immigrants…
interesting battle here is an mor epic battle putin vs mad jack churchill my money is on mad jack
“an mor”.
Yeah.
You so uber I is like all stunned and shite!
Really – illiterate trolls are too easy to dismiss. If you want to have a future in your chosen trolling career, learn to write. Wanker.
RUN, NESSIE, RUN! er…
wait a moment…
SWIM, NESSIE, SWIM!
Hahaha, MUSCULAR Putin!
Is Vlad left handed?
Putin would win in that fight. He’s ripped!
Putin lolz are why I come here
he’s really so easy to mock. Evil never wins, Vlad. It gets laughed at.
My ex president
un reigh henkicoffien
Putin will find the Loch Ness Monster…and in a few months, it’s skin will be on his wall
So sad that he will make the Sea Monster extinct T_T
Proof other world leaders are not monsters.
Cracked me up
i cant even see Nessie … the Loch Ness mmonster were is it ?????