I’ve done more with one finger than you have with your whole body.
(Stephen Hawking)
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: thomasde via Our LOL Builder
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That’s what she said.
The award for the funniest response goes to…. Cathy G!
I toootally agree !
Thanks cathy g
WOohoo!!! So sad but true. First!!
Sorry mate, you fail.. looks like it was a tie, but Cathy G was just a little faster.
You know, I did a Google search to find anal maggot for an ordinal post, and one of the first things it pulled up for me was where I said it a few months ago on this very website. *sigh* Google has failed me.
But, but, we have proof (as indicated above) that they DO exist!
Yes, and I am VERY disappointed in the Internet in not having educated the masses on the existence of anal maggots. There isn’t even Rule 34 of it!
hmm….generally I would restrain myself from googling either term, since I already have enough scarred memories at hand.
btw, your name roxors. Eastman came from the east to do battle with the AMAZING RANDO! mst3k ftw
*bows* You have good taste in movies.
To see an anal maggot, look in the nearest mirror…
To see a hypocrite, shoot yourself and try to watch your body from hell.
LOL!
Reminded me of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang…. which by the way is an immensely underrated movie.
For all you good people in the midwest… sorry we said f*ck so much!
If you look up “stupid” in the dictionary, do you know what you’ll find?
My picture?
No, you idiot, the definition of stupid, which is what you are right now!
Wow … good one, Froo. No really, that one must’ve hurt.
Crow: “I just love those Rando jokes….”
Lighting by The Amazing Rando!
which episode is that from?
From the theatrical release of MST3K. It’s at the end where they riff their own credits.
“Puppet wranglers? There weren’t any puppets in this movie.”
just like there weren’t any moose in the holy grail?
That’s just common sense, you can not fit a 400lb animal into an 8oz cup!
Yes you can. It just takes a lot of heat over a long period of time.
That you know of.
Why do you not see this as the win it is? Clearly you are the creator of a brand new phrase!
I’ve always considered myself an innovator.
I gave our firster some lovely tidbits about anal leakage, does that make you feel better?
Actually yes. I was very impressed by the absolute disgustingness (not a real word) of your Ordinal Post. It gets the Rando Seal of Approval.
Steatorrhea is the presence of excess fat in feces. Stools may also float due to excess lipid, have an oily appearance and be especially foul smelling. An oily anal leakage or some level of fecal incontinence may occur. There is increased fat excretion, which can be measured by determining the fecal fat level. While definitions have not been standardised, fat excretion in feces in excess of 0.3 (g/kg)/day[citation needed] is considered indicative of steatorrhea.
So…you’re on Alli?
Olestra.
Anal seepage. It’s not even fun to SAY.
The rock band “Garbage” almost called themselves “Rectal Drip”. Ick.
Oh kickass. I have something for my next ordinal post! Thanks!
You should imagine the lead singer, a British/Scottish/GB chick with a really clipped accent, saying “Rectal Drip”. If you say it like she did, it’s kind of fun, hehe. Just roll the “R’s” a little.
*barfs*
The sort of ‘fun fact’ that I get to teach every year! Yay for biology.
–but eye and hand injuries and illnesses still gick me out.
At least I can clean my own ass!
Cheers to Stephen Hawking! What an inspiration, and a true genius.
He does do more with one finger than I do with my whole body. I don’t write books or attend seminars to teach other geniuses, but it’s what he does with his mind that really breaks the bank.
Actually, if you ask around most all physicists/cosmologists think Hawking is mostly irrelevant. He’s been wrong on several MAJOR points and isn’t really anything to advance the field.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s no idiot, but he only gets attention because of his physical disability.
^
Major dick.
i concur
I smack this troll creature on behalf of my husband, who admires him greatly and is, guess what, a physicist.
The disability is secondary. His books make him one of the few major physicists who’s been able to make physics accessible to the general public–rather than publishing just in the major journals, he can make seriously advance stuff simple enough for a high schooler to understand. That is epic talent, especially for a professional physicist.
heh heh. naughty naughty man.
Fail. This is stupid.
True, but at least Stephen isn’t!
True dat.
He’s speaking at a venue near me later this year and I get to go!
Gee – the guy doesn’t have to be so smug about it – doesn’t he look smug?
I’d wipe that smug smile off his lymie face if I wasn’t afraid of that boxing glove he’s got in that chair.
He has Lou Gehrig’s disease. He probably can’t change that smile
Probably can’t use his finger either.
I think it was 5 years ago that he divorced his wife and married his care-taker. He must be using something!
“I’m about to get you off using only my brain.”
Knowing him, I wouldn’tbe suprised if he could do that.
You are everything that epitomes dumb stupid yanks, you can even spell well enough to insult us properly. Leaders of the free world, my ass.
The word you’re looking for is “epitomizes”. For that matter, the comma after “yanks” should be a semicolon, and you probably meant to say “can’t”.
Intelligence insult fail.
@ Min
When all else fails and I’ve made myself look stupid….. sh1t !!
*wanders back to cave*
It’s true. He has done more than any of us. Without Mr. Hawking, where would we be?
Commenting on a better submission?
I double-dare you to read all the comments on “help thy neighbour…” (previous pic to this) then!
hahaha so true !
I have. Repeatedly. Which proves I need a better hobby for my days off.
That’s not true. I’ve picked up a pencil with my toes, and I’ll bet my balls you’ve never done THAT.
Looking for a more manly reason to consent to castration, are you?
“Lost them on a bet” sounds better than “can’t afford another kid.”
Time to turn in your balls.
I dont want to know where that finger has been…..
*snork* hahahaha!
Finger or not, respect for the man!
OH THE MIRTH!!! OH SO FUNNY!!!! I JUST CAN’T STOP LAUGH
More like, he’s done more with one neuron than Sarah Palin’s done with her entire central nervous system.
Ok, I don’t like Sarah Palin, but your jealousy is pathetic.
Being jealous of Sarah Palin would be pathetic.
yah rly!
ZING!
It’s funnier ’cause it’s TRUE!
Are you kidding? I’m so totally jealous of Sarah Palin! I’d kill to just be able to quit my job for the hell of it.
Jealousy.
Hm.
Jealousy?
King of the non sequitur, you.
…who else read this caption in a synthesized voice?
I did.
I pity any fool who didn’t.
And now I’m imagining Mr. T’s dialogue in Stephen Hawking’s synthesized voice, and it’s a beautiful thing.
With Twiggy the robot “beedi-beedi-beedi” at the end for emphasis!
That’s because it’s the only part of his body that can move.
‘fraid not – infact he can’t move his fingers at all. He actually uses his cheek.
Then the caption should read “I’ve done more with cheek”… shouldn’t it?
According to an anti-universal health care piece in Investor’s Business Daily, Hawkin would be dead if he were British.
Huh? He *IS* British, and he himself disagrees with that assessment. According to Stephen Hawking:
“I wouldn’t be here today if it were not for the NHS,” he told us. “I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived.”
That’s exactly my point.
I’d trust a statement from an MBA educated american over a retard brit in a wheel chair.
Is this supposed to be ironic?
Cause if not – dude, don’t reproduce.
Idiotic troll is idiotic.
Wait…what? I thought we were talking about Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest minds since Einstein.
Correction — That should read “According to a piece of dishonest propagandistic trash about health care in Investor’s Business Daily …”
Hawking IS British and has pointed out that he would probably be dead if it weren’t for the British health care system. It’s just the opposite of what the IBD article said.
Can you imagine a private health insurance in the U.S. that would still be covering his ALS decades after his diagnosis? He would have “capped out” within a few years.
I know you know that. I just want to make sure it’s clear in case anyone who reads your comment didn’t get it.
He’s too successful!! OMG! Kill him! Or at least tax him to death so’s the poor can get ahead!!!!!!!!
Umm no? He worked hard to get there, very hard in fact.
He’s good, but not the greatest pundit picture. Probably not true either, considering he doesn’t use his fingers ever if I recall.
Yep, He uses his eyeball.
*gives the finger*
Take that Stephen Hawking!
Watch under the word “body”; Mr. Hawking was ahead of you; so what do you think now?
I think your post makes no sense.
Oh! I am a spammer, maybe I am the one who deserves the finger given by the left hand of Hawking.
Anyway, sorry if I bothered.
That makes even less sense, but ok.
Fvcking Stephen Hawking. What has *he* done that’s so fvcking great? HUH? HUH???!!1!1!!1!eleventy eleben!!11562!!~!!!~!
More like eyelid or whatever.
Yeah I don’t think he can actually move his fingers, or has been able to for years.
Duh….
He can — just one. That’s how he controls his wheelchair and voice synthesizer.
“I’ve done more with one finger then you have with your whole body”
Yeah… but can you clap your hands?
Oh he’s British? Why doesn’t his voice synthsizer got british accent?
He complained about his American accent in his book too.
When he first got his voice synthesizer, that robotic-like voice was all they could get. By the time they developed ones that had noticable accents, people had come to associate that robotic voice with Hawking, so he declined the many offers for British ones. He once joked that if he got a French one, his wife would divorce him
Yeah but I’ve banged more women with one finger than you have your whole body
That doesn’t really count for much.
Randomness is a concept with somewhat disparate meanings in several fields. It also has a common meaning which has a loose connection with some of those more definite meanings.
Informally, it is typically used to denote a lack of order, or purpose, or cause[citation needed]. In addition more closely connected with the concept of entropy, there is the sense of lack of predictability.
Randomness, as defined by Aristotle[citation needed], is the situation when a choice is to be made which has no logical component by which to determine or make the choice (see Buridan’s ass). More recently, and more formally, a random process is a repeating process whose outcomes follow no describable deterministic pattern, but follow a probability distribution, such that the relative probability of the occurrence of each outcome can be approximated or calculated. For instance, the rolling of a six-sided die in neutral conditions may be said to produce random results in that one cannot compute before a roll what digit will be landed on, but the probability of landing on any of the six rollable digits can be calculated because of the finite cardinality of the set of possible outcomes.
The term is often used in statistics to signify well-defined statistical properties, such as a lack of bias or correlation. Monte Carlo Methods, which rely on random input, are important techniques in science, as, for instance, computational science.[1] Random selection is an official method to resolve tied elections in some jurisdictions[2] and is even an ancient method of divination, as in tarot, the I Ching, and bibliomancy. Its use in politics is very old, as office holders in Ancient Athens were chosen by lot, there being no voting.
Here, I am testing my theory from yesterday. This is a random fact.
67_491.465574434344374544579872
It worked! … Sort of… Does it really count as a Number if there is an underscore in the middle?
Yes; I’m a software engineer, so I use “_” rather than ‘,’ to separate thousands etc.
pi
Mmmm…pi.
Mmm… 3.14159!
Didn’t Chuck Norris find the end of pi?
Yes, and he kicked its ass.
You’ve got me there Mr. Hawking. You’re a genius. I’m a loser.
However, my penis is bigger and better than yours.
Guess I told him.
I guess you can assume that yours is better. But BIGGER? How do you know that? Have you had the opportunity to make an objective comparison?
Yeah, he managed to have an affair with his nurse and leave his wife with that one finger. Go Stevie, you’re still a virile stallion!
Oh, I don’t know about that, Steve. I have nine patents, and you were wrong about the preservation of information falling into a black hole.
Yeah like leave my wife who stuck by me when I was sick unknown to marry my younger “nurse” ; Being a theoretical Genius does not decrease the tool factor, and I’m sorry but while I see the brilliance of his work; I don’t see how he has greatly improved the human condition.
Ah, he uses his eye to tell the voice box what to say, but still… w00t.
*fistbump*