Okay mom, I godda…
No, mom, we’re in combat, I godda go…
No, I don’t hate you, I just…
No! Don’t put dad on!
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Okay mom, I godda go…
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SECOND!
AND IF NOT, FAIL!
Grouse (pronounced /ˈɡraʊs/) are a group of birds from the order Galliformes. They are often considered a family Tetraonidae, though the American Ornithologists’ Union and many others include grouse as a subfamily Tetraoninae in the family Phasianidae. Grouse inhabit temperate and subarctic regions of the northern hemisphere, from pine forests to moorland and mountainside, from 83° North (Ptarmigan in northern Greenland) to 28° North (Attwater’s Prairie Chicken in Texas). Presumably they evolved in this zone
“Lookadda grouse! Lookadda grouse!”-Jerome “Curly” Howard, ca.1931
He who calls his mother-in-law shall be punished: Back to the house of pain!
I bet this conversation happens all over the world, in many languages, everyday, and in every job position. We love you mom. And no, still don’t put dad on.
Totally. I had to create a hard and fast rule about NEVER calling me at work, unless it was an emergency. Fortunately, that one still holds!
That doesn’t work on my mom… she has a very broad definition of “emergency.”
I used to have that rule with my kids, who also had a very broad definition of “emergency”….my favorite being the “peanut butter incident.”
I’m afraid to ask. How old were they?
我爱你， 妈妈。我不要手爸爸。 不要， 妈妈. 我不恨你！
Translation: I love you, mom. No, I don’t want to talk to dad. No, mom, i don’t want to. I don’t hate you!
Language: Mandarin Chinese （汉语）
On the left we see the conservative warrior: Tough, committed, maybe even with a moustache.
And the right we have the liberal soldier: Holding his gun limp wristedly while he chats on his iphone.
Troll poster is trolling.
Shut up!
I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
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Get some better comebacks noob.
I learned my comebacks from the masters Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck
TYVM!
I get mine from Stewart and Colbert…
It’s called truthiness, b!tch.
GET OFF MY RADIO STATION!
SCREAM!
Show us on the doll where Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck touched you.
Glen Beck and BillO don’t have comebacks, they have screaming, hang-ups, and mic cuts, then they use mature name calling like “pinhead” and such once they’re safe from being called a name back. Those two offer nothing of value to the political world and they make their living by selling fear and hate.
Not really, Glen Beck is muck less crazy than he used to be.
Why don’t I find that reassuring?
The acts like a televangelist, I have not heard him utter anything other than fear mongering. He has my mother-in-law convinced that everybody who looks Mexican is an illegal alien and if you’re driving next to them they will try and hit your car for some obscure reason. BillO and Beck bring out the worst of politics and play on peoples fears and prejudices to get ratings.
And don’t forget the kneeling! Perhaps the conservative warrior is praying to the great money gods for his freedums? Do you think it will give his mighty mustache strength?
I’ rather thinking of the scene in Independence Day: “Weißt du, was du tun musst? Um in dieser Scheiß-Welt voran zu kommen, musst du ‘n paar wichtigen Pennern den Arsch küssen, Mann. Das versuch ich dir schon ewig zu sagen. Ich favorisiere die Ein-Knie-Methode, denn in der Position hast du den Fettarsch direkt in Kusshöhe.”
I don’t know what the quote was like in English, though…
Umm… hehe. Got me on that one! I don’t know what that quote might have been like in English either…
Likewise, largely because it’s defeated both my tourist German and my memories of ID4.
“Oh no you did not shoot that green sh it at me!”
*punch* “Welcome to Earth!”
I was lost until the “Ein-Knie-Methode.” High school German kicked in. “Oh, one knee method. I know what scene that is!”
In English… it went like this
“I’m sorry, man. You know what you need to do?
You need to, like, kiss some serious booty to get ahead in this world.
That’s what I’m trying to tell you. See, I like the one-knee approach,
because it puts the booty, like, right in front of the lip…”
Thank you Babel Fish + Google
Ah! Don’t do this to us, Cuddlee, I beg you! I’ve seen ID four zillion times. If you tell me what was on the screen when when the lines were delivered, I have maybe one chance in three of figuring it out. Please!
I think the conservative is the one standing with his back to the other two, going “lah lah lah, I’m not listening”.
Obviously you’ve never been in the military. That is a weapon, boy! You never refer to your weapon as a “gun”! See that thing there between your legs dangling down? THAT is your gun. Now repeat after me! This is my weapon, this is my gun! This is for fighting, this is for fun! Now drop and give me 20! Move! Move! Move!
*falls into pile in corner
I want to go home!!!
What if you’re in the military and you don’t have a “gun” hanging between your legs? Have they got a mnemonic for us yet?
Fox hole?
FTW! I like that.
Hey, do you happen to have a weapon rack in that fox hole? I’d like to stow my gun there overnight…
No, my weapon rack would be up on my chest…
Rifle, not weapon. This is my rifle, this is my gun. You grabastic piece of …… Did your parents have any children that lived?
Wow, your dickishness is reaching new levels. Don’t make me unfriend you!
Sorry Ivan, I thought you would catch the movie quip. It wasn’t saying anything about you.
Just channeling Sgt Hartman.
Now eat. They are paying for it, you eat it.
And 25 years ago, we said “weapon”. If it’s changed to “rifle” I wasn’t aware of it.
One would think weapon would be correct….don’t soldiers carry a sidearm as well as a rifle?
Is it possible that whether it’s “rifle” or “weapon” is dependent on branch of service or even the personal preference of the guy yelling at you (drill sergeant or whoever)? I mean, it seems possible that you could BOTH be right.
Did you serve Sqwirk? If not, that soldier on the right, whom you are trying to insult, puts you to shame.
No, the “tough conservative warrior” is back in the states urging others to actually risk their lives while he sits at a keyboard bragging how brave he is for saying he’s brave.
Umm… ^makes no sense.
Makes perfect sense
Lazy joke = fail.
Sounds like virtually every conversation I had my first deployment with mother. She didn’t realize how much overseas phone calls cost back then until I shipped her a copy of one of my calling card bills in a letter explaining why I wasn’t calling until she could keep it “short and sweet”.
Reminds me when my good friend was in Iraq and gave me a phone call. Just a quick “still alive, how are things, love ya bye!”
The relay kinda sucked. About three seconds between saying something and it being heard on the other end.
O’course, that was about ten years ago, and technology might have changed things…
A 3s delay sounds like your friend in the Sandbox was using a satellite phone (I know the transmission delay is less than that, but there are processing delays too).
Not necessarily a satphone, but more than likely a satlink. And because the 3 second delay, it was probably a double bounce (i.e. up, down, up, down.)
No, it hasn’t. My son is in Afghanistan and there’s at least a 5 second delay.
No worries. Them boys ain’t gonna cause too much trouble, there are no magazines in those rifles…
If the one on the left is carrying a rifle and not a carbine, it’s a British SA-80 (but the front sight is wrong for that), in which case the magazine is in the butt.
(derailed:-) Looks more like a CAR-14, the shortened version of the M-16A2(3?) the fellow on right has.
I’d agree it looks most like a CAR-14; all I meant was that the SA-80 is the rifle it looks most like, and you can’t see the end of the mag slot on an SA-80 that well from that angle. It’s amazing just how much people on here know about any weapon (system) from a Derringer pepperpot up to an Iowa class battlewagon or a Nimitz flat-top, isn’t it!
“Of course I’m being careful, Ma.
I gotta go.”
Just a minor annoyance, but shouldn’t it have been ‘gotta go’?
That was bugging me, too, but I thought maybe I was just being too picky.
Heh.. I was just thinking how I liked how the captioner wrote it, since, despite how it’s supposed to be spelled, it often comes out sounding just like he wrote it;”godda”. (“Ina Godda Divida”?)
That’s the first time I’d ever seen it spelled with “dd” instead of “tt”
LMAO
“Yes Sargent, we are here, Yes the smoke bomb went off, Yes, we are moving into position, No Please don’t put the General on. . . . . . Yes Sir the thingy is going well”
why is the wood smoking? xD
Reminds me of an incident in Iraq a couple years back. A soldier was heading into a firefight, when he accidentally hit “redial” on the cell phone in his pocket. It called his folks’ house back home. They were out, so the answering machine got the call. The recording ended as its time ran out – and as the soldier in question was shouting for reloads, and someone nearby was shouting, “Incoming!”
Fortunately, the young soldier called home later, when his team returned to base. He was fine, none of them had actually been hit in the battle – but boy, were his folks worried!
That they were “worried” sounds like the understatement of the year. ;p