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After all the effort



nasa astronaut

After all the effort, training and money it took to get us up here… … I REALLY hope some clueless dope on the internet says this was all made up. That would just make my day.

(NASA Astronaut)

Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Mr-Morbach via Advanced Lol Builder

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» 185 comments

  1. Umba says:

    That would make my day too. Lots of idiots on the net, bound to have one nullist.

  2. DeathWyrmNexus says:

    Let the trolling begin!

  3. keithybabes says:

    Yay. Buzz Aldrin!

  4. metman says:

    Anachronism win! Faux quoting an astronaut from the 1960s/1970s talking about the internet. Can the next one be about Napolean having the battery on his GPS run out at Waterloo?

  5. BAW says:

    An all too real colossal waste of time, energy, and money that could have been much better spent on problems right here on earth.

    • keithybabes says:

      Earth’s got enough problems without spending on even more.

    • metman says:

      Investing in basic sciences, like spending on particle colliders etc, is pointless too, right? Oh yeah, I hope you never make use of satellite technology. Or any other tech that came from the space program.

      • bitter troll says:

        ya, cause we might not of learned much from moon rocks…they are rocks…the end

        but the silly hoomans did advance hooman knowlage of science stuff alot.

        • Jojo says:

          Enormous leaps in rocket science were made from the space race. Technology that is featured in ramjet and scramjet engines that will be utilized in the future was developed because of the space race.
          The future of humanity lies in space. It was so much more than checking out some rocks.

          The earth is our crib. We must step out and explore our universe.
          Oh and blow up anyone that doesn’t look like us.

      • Rohvannyn says:

        Aside from all the scientific and medical advances that came from the space program (that benefit everything from surgery to firefighting, microwave ovens came from this as well) there is something else. We are most emphatically NOT ‘throwing our money away’ in space! All the money we spend goes to build things and research things, right? We pay researchers to study, we pay contractors to build. That money goes right back into the economy because they spend the money in it. No, we are not ‘throwing our money away.’

        The budget for space exploration and research is absolutely tiny when compared to everything else. Though NASA often does things in ludicrous ways, the benefits of their research has been incalculable.

        Want the list? I don’t have room.

        • keithybabse says:

          They COULD have just given the money to me. I would have spent it on cool stuff and thereby benefited the economy. Any benefit to me personally would just be a fortunate by-product.

        • PortlandMark says:

          Here’s a short list: (All credit goes to the site Ethical Atheist)

          EVERYDAY BENEFITS FROM THE SPACE PROGRAM
          The most accurate topographical map of the Earth. This data is used to develop safer navigation techniques and better communication systems.
          Ultraviolet protection suits for people with rare intolerance to UV light, known xeroderma pigmentosum.
          Heart pump based on technology of space shuttle’s fuel pumps. It’s two inches long, one inch in diameter, and weighs less than four ounces.
          Efficient autos and planes benefiting from NASA wind tunnel and aerodynamic expertise.
          New metal alloys based on research for the space station program.
          Thermal protection blankets used in everything from fire fighters suits to survival gear for cold environments.
          Robots and robotic software with wide-ranging uses that include auto-assembly plants, hazardous material handling, monitoring in dangerous environments, distribution and packaging facilities, etc.
          Lightweight composite materials that benefit cars, airplanes, camping gear, etc.
          Perfect protein crystals grown in zero gravity; used for more pure pharmaceutical drugs, foods and an assortment of other crystalline-based products including insulin for diabetes patients.
          Better understanding of the Earth and its environmental response to natural and human-induced variations such as air quality, climate, land use, food production as well as monitoring quality of our oceans and fresh water.
          Commercial space communication systems for personal phones, computers, video transmissions, global positioning satellite systems, etc.
          Improvements in energy use efficiency.
          More responsible use of air and water in private and commercial buildings.
          Automated maintenance functions for buildings and new lower-cost building construction techniques.
          Smoke detectors for homes and commercial buildings.
          Air purification systems used to by hospitals to provide pure oxygen for patients.
          High-bandwidth and optical communications systems.
          Technology for cordless tools such as drills, shrub trimmers and rechargeable flashlights.
          Growth of zeolite crystals that have the potential to reduce the cost of petroleum and to store new types of fuels like hydrogen, which is abundant and pollution-free. This technology could be used in hydrogen-powered cars.
          Fire-fighting systems that battle blazes with a fine mist, rather than environmentally harmful chemicals.
          Sunglasses that block certain types of light – blue, violet, and ultraviolet – that could hurt the eyes. These sunglasses block the hazardous light, while allowing light that is good for vision to pass through the lens.
          Solar power collection.
          Air filtration systems that can kill all types of harmful bacteria – even anthrax — and remove allergens from the air with better than 90 percent efficiency.
          Ultralight solar concentrators that gather power from the Sun and efficiently convert it into electrical power. Applications for this technology on Earth are limitless.
          Water purification methods using ions (an atom or group of atoms carrying a positive or negative electrical charge). Used in water filtering systems to remove lead, chlorine, bad taste and odor. Newer purification systems also remove contaminants such as perchlorate and nitrate.
          “Power Pads” to cushion a horse’s hooves, protecting against injuries and helping ease discomfort associated with brittle hooves or arthritis.
          Disposable diapers.
          Devices for collection and real-time analysis of blood, and other bodily fluids, without the need for centrifugation. Huge potential for hospitals and for remote units to monitor individuals with health problems.
          Lighter artificial limbs that are virtually indestructible; based on foam insulation used to protect the Shuttle’s external fuel tank.
          Computer-aided tomography (CATScan) and magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) for imaging the body and its organs.
          Light-emitting diodes used in photodynamic therapy. These diodes are used in a form of chemotherapy that kills cancerous tumors.
          Infrared sensors used in hand-held optical sensor thermometers. These devices can measure temperature in the ear canal in two seconds or less.
          Devices used to diagnose and treat patients suffering head injury, stroke, chronic dizziness and disorders of the central nervous system.
          Compact laboratory instruments for hospitals and doctor offices that analyze blood in 30 seconds what once took 20 minutes.
          Land mine removal using flare device and leftover fuel donated from NASA.
          Technology which allows vehicles to transmit a signal back to a home base. Used to track and reassign emergency and public works vehicles; also track vehicle operations such as taxis, armored cars and vehicles carrying hazardous cargo. Now used to recover stolen vehicles.
          Cutters using small explosive charges used by emergency rescue personnel to quickly extract accident victims.
          Image-processing technology used remove defects due to image jitter, image rotation and image zoom in video sequences. Used by law enforcement agencies to improve crime-solving videos; doctors in medical imaging; scientific applications and even home video cameras.
          Gas leak-detection system used by Ford in natural gas-powered car.
          Method of labeling products with invisible and virtually indestructible markings – used on electronic parts, pharmaceuticals and livestock — in fact it could be used on just about anything.
          Fire resistant foam used as thermal and acoustical insulation in aerospace, marine and industrial products. Also used as for fire barriers, packaging and other applications requiring either high-temperature or very low-temperature insulation. Used by Boeing, Lockheed-Martin, and Airbus for for major weight savings in aircraft.
          Hand-held camera which firefighters use to pinpoint the hotspots of wildfires.
          Safer soldering base for jewelers using torches in jewelry assembly. Based on heat-shield tiles of shuttle instead of hazardous asbestos bases previously used.
          Quick-connect fasteners used by firefighters and nuclear power-plant repair technicians.
          Game-controlling joystick for computers and entertainment systems.
          Spray lube used for rust prevention; loosening corroded nuts; cleaning and lubricating guns and fishing reels; and lubricating and reducing engine friction.
          World-wide television broadcasts.
          Home insulation system which provides significant savings in home heating and cooling costs – uses technology of aluminum heat shield developed for Apollo spacecraft.
          Laser technology used in artery catheters to spot areas of blockage and fire short bursts of laser beams to vaporize them – a “cool” laser providing thousands of patients with an alternative to heart bypass surgery.
          New charged coupled devices (CCDs) used in breast examinations (mammographies) which images breast tissue more clearly than conventional x-rays. Doctors then use a specially designed needle to extract a tiny sample (instead of a scalpel) saving time, money and pain.
          “Smart” forceps made of composite material, with embedded fiber optics. These obstetrical forceps allow doctors to measure the amount of pressure being applied to an infant’s head during delivery.
          Small pill-shaped transmitters Used to monitor intestinal activity; blood pressure and temperature of infants still inside the womb; body functions of athletes and high-stress professionals such as firefighters and soldiers.
          Technology to quickly arrange and analyze human chromosomes and detect genetic abnormalities that could lead to disease in infants.
          Image processing software used in dermatology analysis to “decode” the shadow patterns and provided accurate heights and depths.
          Roofs based on moonsuits that look stiff, but are flexible and expand in heat and contract in cold. Used as covering of malls, stadiums and new airports like Denver International.
          Padding in helmets, shin guards, chest protectors and aircraft seating.
          Golf balls with greater accuracy and distance.
          Lightning protection systems for aircraft.
          Windshear detection and warning system for aircraft.
          Traffic Alert and Collision Avoidance System (TACS) now used by virtually all passenger aircraft.
          Monitoring system which scans important documents at certain times and compares the differences between the images. The system detects changes in contrast, shape and other features. Used by museums and the National Archives to monitor historic documents and plan a way to stop any damage.
          Landsat imagery to discover unknown archeology sites; reveal ancient coastlines; manage the harvesting of fish in the world’s oceans; calculate how well crops are doing, etc.
          Robotic mother pigs which keep piglet formula (milk) cool until it is needed then heats and delivers the right amount at feeding time.
          Improved spray nozzles for crop dusters.
          New breathing system for firefighters made up of a face mask, frame and harness, warning device, and air bottle. Weighs one-third less than old gear.
          Virtual reality simulators for medical operations, flight training, truck driving, etc.
          Hydroponics used by vegetable farmers to grow crops without soil.
          Fluorometer instrument used to monitor plankton in the world’s oceans. Instrument measures amount of glow given off by plankton and other marine life that consume sunlight in their photosynthesis process. Much of the world’s oxygen comes from plankton.
          Oil spill cleanup using beeswax microcapsules. The beeswax balls absorb oil and keep water out. Absorbed oil is digested by microorganism enzymes inside the ball. When the balls get full of digested oil, they explode and release environmentally safe enzymes, carbon dioxide and water.
          Software to match and track whales.
          DirectTV.
          Satellite radio.
          Fire-Resistant Aircraft Seats.
          “Cool suit” which helps to improve the quality of life of multiple sclerosis patients.
          Pacemaker that can be programmed from outside the body.
          Instruments to measure bone loss and bone density, without penetrating the skin.
          Implant for delivering insulin to diabetics that provides more precise control of blood sugar levels and frees diabetics from the burden of daily insulin injections.
          Device for growing ovarian tumors so that tumors can be studied outside the body, without harm to the patient.

          • Lulzzzz says:

            Hey could you post that again with paragraphs? Nah, joking :p

            We should also consider the benefits for the future. That is, if we care about it.

            Possible fast space travel, life in space, and protection from many hazards.

            The sun is estimated to die in about 5 billion years. It’s a lot, but it means sooner or later life on Earth won’t be naturally possible anymore (assuming nothing eradicates life before this).
            If the human race survives that far, it will need powerful technology to keep surviving.

            Perhaps we’ll learn to produce plenty of low-cost and eco-friendly energy to keep us warm (or cold at first, since the sun should first turn into a super-nova, scorching us, before disappearing entirely and leaving us to freeze).
            Perhaps we’ll learn to build huge transparent domes under which we’ll live so we can stay at the surface instead of living underground.

            Maybe we’ll even find a way to save the sun, or artificially create a new star to replace it (I always assume whatever nature does can be reproduced with the right technology. In 5 billion years, who knows what we’ll have learned?).

            Another hazard could be a comet or meteorite striking the Earth. We need to find a way to deviate such things from their course, or destroy them to dust.

            Whatever the threats, humanity needs the space program to survive. Even if a meteorite or global warming or a super volcano or whatever else does not kill every single human, the death of the sun will do it for sure if we don’t have a solution.

            The real question should be: do we want humanity to survive, or do we not care what happens 1000 generations from now?
            It’s all a matter of personal opinion.
            Personally, my deep interest for science makes me want the story of mankind to go on. Humans are fascinating despite how awful they may be at times. And I hope our race will one day hold all the possible scientific knowledge of the universe, for the sake of curiosity.

            I should also mention the fact that I believe we may one day be able to resurrect people from the dead. It probably sounds crazy, but I keep holding to this idea that if nature could create something, so can we by mastering nature. If consciousness is natural (not created by a god or magic), then I think it is possible to recreate it (and therefore recreate people) with the right technology (very complex technology).
            So considering this, I want to invest in the future, so that I will come back to life and not remain in the void of nonexistence (if putting mystical beliefs aside, death is useless to one’s own self).

            Anyway, before we decide if we want to invest in the future or not, and to fund a space program, we should remember one thing: all the benefits of the space program came only much after work started. Decades later.
            I like to think the space program was mostly created on the desire to help the future. I’m thankful people about 50 or 60 years ago (not sure when the program started) invested in this program so that today I can have all this comfort.

          • PortlandMark says:

            Yeah, sorry about the wall of text. It was a cut and paste job.

    • BADABUK says:

      yes it was a cold war propaganda race of governments to distract their people.

    • PortlandMark says:

      Every penny spent on the space program resulted in thousands of dollars boost to our economy. From ball point pens to computers, our economic supremacy during the second half of the twentieth century is owed mostly to our space program.

  6. KnightOfSwords says:

    It WAS a fake. All of this was a hoax, propaganda to put America ahead in the Space Race. It was filmed by the CIA with clever photoshopping and pallete swapping so we’d never find out where they really are. Ever wonder why the Moon in all of the photos sorta looks like a black-and-white Mars?

  7. KnightOfSwords says:

    Sorry for the double-post, didn’t notice the first one went through after my internet went down.

  8. ... says:

    I understood these moon landing posts popping up around the anniversary, but we don’t care anymore.

  9. jose says:

    typical unfunny captions by american

  10. lol says:

    The funny thing is that half of the people posting here probably think 9/11 was an inside job.

    • No, but the shortage in the register at the 7/11, that was an inside job.

    • bitter troll says:

      meh bitter troll thinks he was makeing fun of the fact the pic has the space moon man thinking half the people on the interwebs thinking it was a fake bitter troll thinks

    • keithybabse says:

      Fetches garden chair & breaks open a bottle of jose. Ok, I’m seated. This should be good…

      • the_original_shortright says:

        i’m kinda crabby today. i’m overtired. i have an ear infection. i also have a cold.

        had this fu(knut started something it wouldn’t have ended well. trolls are not going to be tolerated today.

        • Danbala says:

          Yay! Go get ‘em! :D
          *gives t_o_s several thumbs up* (Yeah, I keep a few spare ones in the freezer.

        • bitter troll says:

          -hugs shortright- but bitter troll loves you

          • the_original_shortright says:

            you’re not a troll. you’re bitter troll. totally different. don’t you know this by now?? ;)

            • bitter troll says:

              bitter troll suffers from short term memory something bitter troll forgets

              • the_original_shortright says:

                (clarification: this joke is so much better in person because writing it out based on who should be saying things just makes it no fun)

                ADD kid: ‘how many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?’
                other person: ‘ugh…’
                ADD kid: *interrupting* ‘wanna go ride bikes?’ *walk away*

                i love pulling that joke on people. :) but then again, i really like lightbulb jokes. we had them for every sorority and fraternity on my college campus. my sorority’s was:
                how many phi mu’s does it take to change a lightbulb? all of them. one to change the lightbulb the rest of them to make a t-shirt about it. (we were notorious for having new house t-shirts about once a month.)

                • Danbala says:

                  Light bulb jokes are fecking excellent. As an orchestra player, I really enjoy the plethora of “How many trumpet/trombone/violin/double bass/clarinet etc. players does it take to…” Nerdy, but EX. CELL. ENT.

                  • I love lightbulb jokes, too!
                    How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

                    • the_original_shortright says:

                      that one’s good!

                      my favorite one referred to kappa alpha theta (i apologize to any theta’s who may lurk here). they were quite, um, slutty, on my campus. so their joke was…

                      how many theta’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
                      none. they all dropped what they were doing when they heard the word screw, put on their tight black pants and went over to the frat houses.

                      • The Amazing Rando says:

                        I got in big trouble at work once for writing a lightbulb joke including everyone in the dept (myself included, so it was fair). The guys in the dept loved it. Management was not nearly as thrilled by my humor.

                    • Danbala says:

                      How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?

                      Four. One to change it, and the other three to tell him how much better they would’ve done it.

                      How many french horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?

                      It only takes one, but it’ll take him hours as he first will check the bulb for alignment and leaks.

                      How many percussionists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                      Only one, but he’ll go through about a dozen before he starts realizing you can’t just push them in.

                      How many flutists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                      One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

                      … and so on …

                  • the_original_shortright says:

                    i used to know a bunch of orchestra related jokes but don’t remember any of them now… 8 years of marching band, 3 years of symphony orchestra and about 15 years of concert band will beat the jokes into you…

    • Rohvannyn says:

      If it was, it is totally separate from this issue.

    • PortlandMark says:

      I’ll cop to that: I believe in the LIHOP theory. I don’t believe in the MIHOP theory though.

      Related note: an interpreter working on US wiretaps of officials communicating with Turkey has recently been allowed to speak publicly about calls she worked on in the summer of 2001, arranging an invasion of Iraq. Details are still sketchy, and may include both Republicans and Democrats.

  11. VMalska says:

    Lol this made my day. Spelling Internet wrong is just priceless.

    • Really? I think you better get your vision checked..

      • Danbala says:

        I think VMalska didn’t mean to refer to spelling, but rather the convention to say “the Internet” about the internet that we currently use. The Internet is an internet. The capitalisation separates just any old internet from the Internet that actually exists and is in use.

        So, yeah, impressive anal retentiveness on VMalska’s part, less impressive to refer to capitalisation as “spelling”.

        • Hmm, it may all be semantics, but when I I’m talking to someone about a website, I don’t usually say, “I found it on an internet.” As for capitalization, I don’t think I’ve ever done so. Of course, that’s just me.

        • VMalska says:

          Heh gotta reply. Why I referred to it as spelling is because due to writing “internet” instead of “Internet”, it totally changes the meaning and is definitely not the word intended. “i” instead of “I” is a different form of the letter, thus practically a different letter due to their divergent uses. I would still count “internet” instead of “Internet” a spelling mistake, just like I would count “george” instead of “George” a spelling mistake.

  12. zappafrank says:

    …except there wasn’t an internet as such back then…

  13. Yomi says:

    Love it. Made me smile.

    My favorite part of all of this site is just seeing all people argue back and fourth because it can get so ridiculous. (Not really so much this one, because I really hope to god no one thinks that it was a hoax..)

    Especially in Republican/Democrat/Bush/Obama issues.

  14. d00d says:

    I’m just curious WHAT was blowing the flag on the picture. Moon sure is windy right?

  15. Keihybabes says:

    Flag? I can see the thought bubbles blowing about, but I can’t see a flag. Am I going blind?

    • d00d says:

      Not on this picture. The 1 that everyone knows. Where the flag is blown like on a windy day. I posted a link too with the picture but it got deleted.

  16. slupine says:

    Except that the whole “the moon landing is fake” thing started well before the internet.

    My grandfather is apparently among those who think it was faked. *shakes head*

  17. chris says:

    zomg thats like the funniest caption ive like ever read… innit

  18. Maverynthia says:

    It’s already been proven that’s a picture of the Arizona desert with the 1960′s version of Photoshop applied to it.

  19. cgray says:

    My high school English teacher’s brother programmed the landing site for Apollo 11. His own mother thought the whole thing was faked. Not much of a supportive family.

  20. angie says:

    it was fake, why havent they done it again, all the tec and stuff they could pop up and back in a week, they could open a starbucks by now

  21. By jove says:

    I say, the conspiracy theory didn’t originate on the interweb!

  22. hhceagles says:

    And I hope someone from Parkes, Australia, ideally one of the crew that operated the giant dish that allowed the world to see the moon landing, lays the smackdown properly.

  23. bitter troll says:

    not even he would dare violate the sancitity of the slurpee machine!

  24. You don’t want to know what the security cameras caught him doing to the slurpee machine. :eek:

  25. bitter troll says:

    well did you see how the slurpee machine was dressed? she was asking for it

  26. She’s got a cold, cold heart, that slurpee machine….

  27. bitter troll says:

    well with a nick name like slurpee…bitter troll would give her a shot….dont tell charro

  28. viking gal says:

    You had tablets? We had to scratch it out on the ground!
    *is envious*

  29. Ah, well it was a private school..

  30. Viking says:

    In my day, we just raided and pillaged information, then discarded the lifeless husks when we were done, and moved on to the next place.


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