IF I REGISTER,
Do I Get To Vote Her Off The Planet?
(Heidi Montag)
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IF I REGISTER
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Wait a second. If you are playing that “I have done what you want, now I get something in return game” I could think of a few -much- more fun things than just asking to have permission to remove her from the planet. Granted I have no idea who this is, but… all i am saying… Come on!
“I have done what you want, now I want you to _________________, ________________, then ______________, and maybe right after lunch we could _________________”
May I just say that I envy you this and strongly suggest that you do whatever it takes to ensure that it remains so?
hurmm… clearly it’s someone who remonds “dis” of that hawt girl that shunned him in High School.
*checks down pants*
Nope. Still female.
*whew*
Although I have to admit, Heidi Montag does remind me of a few airhead bimbos from my high school. The kind that thought “Homecoming” was actually meaningful and that pep rallies were more important than the game; both of which, of course were more important than actually learning anything.
Ah. My bad…. I was right about this being a High School syndrome and this being about jealousy, just wrong in the application.
Oh, they weren’t that jealous of me, really.
well played! *clap*clap*
I, on the other hand, have different fingers.
And am very jealous of you.
Is hawt short for haughty-taughty? In that case, no worries, their all old and wrinkled from OD’ing on the tanning booth. I don’t know who this bimbo is, but she looks like Ann Coulter’s ex-boyfriend.
You need to know no more than she is a bimbo.
Yeah, well I’ll wait till her boobs sag a little, then we’ll see if she’s all that!
Then you can give her a mammogram.
Please. Probably the only future planning she’s done for herself is a boob lift fund for when she turns 40.
Do you need to do that for implants? (Partly being snarky, partly genuinely curious!)
Serious answer – Implants do have a limited lifespan, after which you need to have them removed or replaced.
Thanks for the info! *is glad not to have any body parts with an expiration date printed on them*
100% natural in that department is the only way to go anyway. It makes you feel better to us, and doesn’t involve having the nerves to two of your eroginous zones severed.
This is highly relevant to my interests!
If I got any plastic surgery it would be a reduction. I had to buy a bra with D cups the other day.
*tramples three or four people to sit next to Captain Wow*
Hi, I’m Rando. How’s it going?
*douses Rando with cold vodka* Calm down.
-nibbles on charro- busy day here hehe, sorry for very slow talking. D’s? nice let bitter troll and charro see!
@Captain Wow. Welcome to the AAAM! We consider larger bras to be compensation for having to get larger jeans… But those who like womenfolk seem to like curves, so congrats!
NNNAAAMMM!
Hi bitter baby!! *texts Captain Wow* ZOMG I’m on a boat!
bitter troll dont like boats they scarey…all that water…all those fish…with fish sticks
But what about Pirates of the Caribbean? We were supposed to make out on that ride.
capt wow – when i was 17 and sporting 34DDD i got them reduced. 34c’s are quite nice.
but has pirates, and pirates make everything better…side note is it tell us your cup size night or something? lets get you girls to sound off and list them out huh? bitter troll wants to know
Hush, you, don’t encourage her.
I think bitter troll has a good idea. But to be fair, he has to go first.
bitter troll’s freakish 6 troll bewbs are all different size and shape.
rando, i’ve encouraged several of my friends to get reductions… however, i’ve also encouraged my one friend to get implants. she’s basically flat as a board and self conscious… she only wants b’s. she’s VERY excited that she’ll finally have boobs.
so see, i’m equal opportunity when it comes to making boobs better. the bigger they are the saggier they get and that’s just not cute.
infact feel free to email bitter troll the photos of the bewbs
What do you mean, not cute? Nothing HAWT’r than a pair of headlights illuminating a bellybutton!
Oh, and if you’re sending pics…
My wife wants a reduction (she’d need one just to get to your before size, if that gives you a clue). I’m opposed, but they’re not my boobs, so I don’t really get a say in the matter.
I think Charlie & BT are right. The only way to know if reductions still look good is if we have pics. Heh.
bitter troll accepts pics, webcam jiggles and motorboats
BT, I thought that you didn’t like water?
sorry charlie… but the other 2 of you are able to see pics on my FB. not full on, but there are a handful of bikini pics and such.
rando, if your wife is really that large a reduction would probably really help her back, neck and shoulders. i know i had MAJOR problems with my lower back (later revealed to be arthritis as well as the big boobs) and because i had documentation of the problems my insurance covered the reduction 100%. following my reduction there was a significant difference in the pain levels. i get where you’re coming from, but it might be a good option for her to look into and to talk to a doctor about.
bitter troll lives under a bridge…-sighs- bitter troll does not like being on boats, but loves to ride a motorboat.
Yeah, hate FB.
That’s a ways away for now. She’s looking to lose some weight first.
Oh yes, reduction is great against constant back-/neck-/headaches. I’ve never been in a position where’s it’s an issue, but know a few people who have, and it’s been the best painkiller ever for them. Well – best long-term painkiller, at least.
I enjoy boobs.
Yeah…me too.
I’m afraid you’re way off base, doctor H. The fact of the matter is dis has a medical condition which makes her highly allergic to vacuous, feather brained, superficial reality tv personalities whose sole contribution to society and the world is the certainty that they one day will die. Too much exposure to these types causes dis to break out in hives, followed by severe vomiting and bouts of rage.
Maybe next time you’ll think before making glib remarks. Insensitive jerk.
Heh. It amuses me when people rant about nothing important, then finish up by claiming someone else is “insensitive”.
“It amuses me when people rant about nothing important”
You must be a great source of amusement to yourself then.
It’s always good to be able to laugh at yourself.
But you have to admit, it’s even better when it’s someone else that does something stupid and you get to laugh at them, am I right?
But of course!
I guess you have the amusing yourself aspect of your life down cold.. just sayin’
Aww crap, that was meant for DRH, HOW, not you.. sorry
Ahahaha! That’s funny though. We all need to be taken down a notch or two once in a while (I require a dressing-down regularly least my head swell too much). I was about to make snarky comment about perfection is not amusing & that it’s awe-inspiring and a beacon for others.
Hmmm…. sounds like someone is repeating the word “rant” without understanding it.
Oh, Spence. Are you butthurt that we’re making fun of your partner?
Sort of like you and ‘reply’, right?
This happened once before, when I came to your door. No reply.
But I bet you enjoyed the sound of the crickets. They can be quite peaceful on a warm spring evening.
On the lawn… That Eddie groomed.
Yeah, don’t forget it either!
You take things way too seriously. Have you met Malfeasance?
And his twin Apathy.. Those two are absolute riots at campus parties!
They invited me to a party once, but I couldn’t be bothered going.
You’re lying. They don’t actually bother to send out invitations to the apathy party. They could, but who cares?
Do they process the voter registration applications? Not that it matters, as if they’ll even have a candidate in the Apathy Party.
But. But! BUT!
DISNEY IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!11!!11!!!!!11!
It amuses me when people sling insults around, then claim “oh but it’s not important!” when they get called out on it.
… so all this ranting about high school “issues” must be fun for you, I guess.
Mazel Tov!
Well now I have to look her up. Thanks a lot diss…. you have probably just destroyed my post registering to vote plans….
Don’t do it, VNV. You’ll regret it. I’ll say this much: The Hills. “Reality” star. Airhead. Married to even creepier airhead. Both think that they are actual celebrities for some reason.
Her SO’s last name suits him perfectly..
No! Save yourself! It’s too late for us!!!
*seizes violently from the amount of stupidity exposure of one episode of the hills*
My God has forsaken me!!!
*dies*
wtf is hills?
Oh, let me help you out with that.
I still don’t get it. A 3 person reality show?
OHferfeckssake…. here. Read.
Ah, I had it right then.
IT’S A TRAP!
StarWars reference FTW
Our shields can’t repel idiocy of that magnitude!
That blast came from the Deathtard! That moron’s operational!!
And has a creepy flesh colored beard!!!!
Oh, and that reminds me of MadLibs! I always liked those.
Hmm. It only needs verbs, though. You’re expecting me to go somewhere dirty with this, aren’t you?
“I have done what you want, now I want you to defrag my hard drive, take my truck to get the oil changed, then put on this cowboy hat and boots, and maybe right after lunch we could catch a matinee of Zombieland”
Well… at least it sounds more fun than just voting. I mean, voting seems fun… but lines… waiting… and then the fun only lasts for a few seconds. (just like my first gf).
I took my girl to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal last year. We were standing in line for an attraction (which can take upwards of an hour). She looked me dead in the eye, and with a straight face said, “I’m tired of The Line Ride. Can we do something else?” It just struck me as really funny. Erm. I guess you had to be there.
Tip: buy the Express Pass! It’s worth it! Although this year they lost their minds when they came up with the pricing!
Speaking of lines, years ago I was at Disneyland (in CA) and while waiting in line this asian guy literally was so close behind me that his chest was touching my back. So I would step forward and within 30 seconds his chest was on my back again. I finally turned around and said as softly as possible, “If you don’t f*cking step back, I’m going to beat the ever loving crap out of you. Got it?” The guy didn’t come with 5 feet of me after that. Now, I don’t usually crack it like that, but I had just about enough of that. When I related what happened to a good friend, he said that maybe the guy had no sense of personal space. My reply was, “Maybe so, but he was about to learn a hard and fast rule about mine!”
Well, some of those Asian countries ARE pretty crowded, like Japan where they cram people into subways like sardines, so it’s very possible that it’s a cultural thing.
*humor*
And you were insensitive to it.
Racist.
*/humor*
In Japan, the rules of personal space are such that they have attendents in the subway to cram folks into the trains. But they also have had to create all-female cars, because some jerks have taken to molesting the ladies in those crowded cars. So maybe the personal space is a male-to-male thing, & women don’t rate?
This may not be it at all, but sometimes in public places like that when someone bumps into you they are trying to take your wallet. You might have gotten a little verbal preemptive strike in there.
This story is fake from beginning to end!
And you would say that based on what?
your first girlfriend had waiting lines?
Not so much as the times I have had to wait in lines for various things she was interested in that didn’t hold much for me. Hence why she was first and not current!
I’ve got #78. What’s she on right now? #54? Oh hell.
Get that woman a glass of water so she can rehydrate, or I promise that will not be enjoyable.
She’s on an IV. Always make sure to slut it up responsibly.
Oh, and one more thing because I don’t want to let the opportunity slip. I did notice you used the word dirty again. And as soon as I read it, i did the mad lib in my head that was dirty, and then pretended you wrote it. So… you just think about that for a while!
Do I even want to know? Hmmm.
Well, naturally, i think you do, but the rest of these people probably don’t, and if I tell you, it won’t let your already dirty mind wander.
Trust me, I’m miles ahead of you. I was thinking dirty as soon as I read your post. Of course I’m old and don’t have much else to do.. go figure.
If it weren’t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
I used to live on a dead end street. When I moved they took down the sign.
In the town where I went to college, there was a street actually called Dead End Dr. I need to go back there and get a pic of it.
don’t get a pic… steal it. it’s the only proper thing to do.
just like in michigan they have to budget to replace certain street signs. like off rt75 exit 69 is for “big beaver road”. the giant highway sign for it gets stolen a few times a year… can’t imagine why.
I’d like to steal the Climax (Michigan) sign.
yeeeeeeah, that one’s pretty good too. but big beaver road is just *shakes head*… apparently all the guys on the planning committee either FORGOT what it was like to be 13-20 or were still stuck in that age range.
I’ve considered stealing one of the city limits signs from ThreeWay, Tennessee.
I’m all for stealing the Big Bone Lick sign.
I drive by “Diddlydadburn Rd” on the way to one of my friends’ houses. I want that sign BAAAAD.
Diddly. Dad. Burn.
Shocking.
my favorite sign is actually a no parking sign. but there’s a story…
the dorm i lived in on campus had only about 10 parking spots out back. my room happened to have a back door (bonus!) and it let out right by one of the spots (bigger bonus). so i always parked in that spot. one day they put in a no parking sign at that spot because having a car there would “block the fire exit” (i.e. my car would block my access out of my room even though the spot was about 15 feet from the door and on the other side of a sidewalk and some landscaping).
2 nights after they planted the sign i yanked the whole thing out of the ground because they didn’t put a concrete base on it and had only buried the post about 2 feet. i have the sign, on the post in the corner of my room now. it’s my greatest accomplishment.
i have many signs (no parking, stop, street signs, building signs, a giant seed farm sign) but that one’s my favorite. the close second was when the bar shenanigans closed and my brother and i took the giant sign from the front of the building. it reminded us of super troopers.
I would say you were wrong, but in this case they were; you only need 6 feet clear beyond a fire exit.
Shortright, you are my hero. This is awesome.
Your story is fake from beginning to end, as If you ever were at University! tss tss.
paws – yeah, i thought it was stupid.
yay
diss –
keith – grow up and find something more productive to do than attempt to discredit stories on a site where other people are wasting time.
i’m all grown up already.
I stole AZ I-10 highway mile marker 242 once.
T-O-S: Keith is obviously an Idiot Troll. Let’s not give him a reason to keep coming back. Personally, you’re my hero for stealing that parking sign. And it’s a good story.
hel – my two options were to redesign the sign to say the spot was reserved for my use only, or to steal it. i felt that if i painted it and such they’d just clean it up and ticket my car. after i removed it i didn’t get any tickets because campus safety didn’t know that maintenance had planted a sign there several days earlier. it worked out well.
There’s a street sign in Hillsboro that has my first name on it, and I want that sign. No, it doesn’t say Eric St. That’s not my first name.
That is just a bit odd. I don’t think I’ll steal that sign though. It’s in an area of town that I wouldn’t get out of my car during the day, much less at night. I think that’s where the boogie man lives…
That’s not where the Philosophy Dept was, is it?
No one really knows where their Philosphy Dept is located. Most times I’m not even sure the Phil majors know.
If you THINK you’re in the Philosophy Dept does it mean you ARE there?
I think you have to do a massive amount of drugs to find the hidden door.
Sorry, that was my little (very little) philosophy pun. Thanks for nothin, Descartes!!
You Kant run off on us now!?!
Oh, whoops. LOL, apparently my brain shut down a little early today.
My brain is Plato, after a long week. And it is only Thursday!
Oh cmon VG, that pun was too easy, it was really be-nietzche you!
Max, I’ll be on my Kierkegaard around you.
EEEEEEEmanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable….
Dayyyyyyvid Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel! Yayz!
i’m not old and i’m at work (and therefore should be working)… but i was trying to get fun (read: dirty) things in that madlib that i could then text to my boy.
So, out of the sake of pure curiosity…
Who is this?
And why should I hate her?
Heidi Montag. Airheaded “actress” on an MTV “reality” show. She’s married to an even stupider “actor”, and his creepy flesh-colored beard, who’s on the same show
Okay, please forgive me if someone has made a similar or identical comment before, but … how many of you guys think Heidi and Spencer are actually “for real?” Surely no one can honestly be as ridiculous as they. I mean, wanting to own their own country, Spencer withholding sex b/c he feels Heidi is too young to have a baby, their asinine shenanigans on “I’m a Celebrity…” and the numerous talk shows they’ve appeared on, Heidi’s hideous singing/dancing…. the list goes on and on. (And yes, before you say it, I know that it’s really pathetic that I am familiar with what these two are up to.) What do you all think … is it all an act on their part or are they genuinely this obnoxious?
Not in an insulting way, but yeah, you know -way- too much. hehehe. But on the opposite end, I know nothing. So i can’t even help with your hypothetical. So… sorry.
I don’t think most of us care AT ALL if they’re “for real”, as you put it. Don’t care about the disturbingly-detailed occurrences in their lives that you posted (I’m concerned that you don’t get enough fresh air because you know WAAAYYYY too much about them). I’m pretty sure that we just think they’re vapid douchebags.
Yes, HelOnWheels, you’re right — I probably don’t get enough fresh air
I honestly don’t know why these two bother me so; they just do. It shames me to admit that crappy trashy reality TV is one of my many vices … so I should probably go read a book now or save a tree 
In all seriousness, just go to ROFLRAZZLE. Not even trying to be mean.
Yeah, I was thinking for a second that I was on the wrong site. :-\
Part of the problem is the level of the lols being submitted lately. I just went through and did voting and I fear for our future.
There’s some good stuff out there, but laughs are few and far between, and you have to click through so much “Hur hur Obama and/or Bush and/or Sarah Palin is stoopid” and fart jokes and five dollar footlong jokes (really? I mean, are they even running those commercials anymore?) and….those damn googly-eyes. I have yet to see those used to good humorous effect and to be perfectly honest I don’t really see how they ever could be.
Oh, and misplaced lolcats, stuff that’s so poorly organized or poorly spelled that it’s incomprehensible, and informative and/or preachy and/or feel-good crap. Also — does everyone NOT know that if you’re making something that’s only going to be funny to , say, your personal friends (Obama on the phone with your annoying boss, etc…) that you can SAVE it and then email them a link and NOT submit it for voting? Michelle Obama saying “I wish my butt was as cute as Louise McNobody’s!” might be funny to Louise, but it’s NOT all that funny to anyone else. So just SAVE it, ok? /rant.
True dat, yo. True dat.
Hooooly crap, you weren’t kidding. I got a bunch of “I’m Obama and im ruining the country hahaha” and a bunch of “Ted Kennedy was a saint” ones. Not. Funny. At. All. And a couple that made me laugh for the wrong reasons, specifically pictures of Bush saying “you’ll miss me soon.” How about no? Does no work for you?
i just went and voted “fail” on at least 50 consecutive LOLs. that’s depressing. out of the 15 minutes i spent voting i voted “win” on 3 or 4. and it doesn’t exactly take a good chunk of time to vote… that does not bode well for the future LOLs.
what’s even worse, when you looked at the current ranking of the LOLs only about 10 of them were in the positive range, everything else was fairly deep into the negatives. which makes me wonder if the best of the worst is what’s making the homepage (“yeah joe, take the -1′s we don’t have any positives left”)… ya know?
Yeah, it’s even worse than usual.
there were a few of those. and i scratched my head and went “who the hell voted for this dreck”?
one of the ted kennedy ones (in poster format) was like that… “maybe he killed mary jo (second line) but after that he was a really really really good guy so i think he’ll go to heaven. plus you’re all hypocrites {link to snopes on laura bush}”. i voted fail immediately and it had like +25. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE SMOKING?
But that’s HI-LAR-IOUS, Shortright! You don’t see the subtle, subversive, ironic humor in that caption?
I swear, they need to start a separate page of Inspiratio-LOL’s or something. LolSappiness.
Yeah, it wasn’t funny. I voted fail. Even if I think it’s true (which the way that one was worded was AWFUL), I’ll fail it if it’s not funny. For instance, 98% of EWAdams & fastfood’s LOLs. Oh sure, they get a decent one now and then, but it’s RARE, and their LOLs are even on my side of the aisle.
I don’t think so. Their styles tend to differ. Even fastfood’s preachy ones aren’t quite as condescending as EW’s. EW wants to talk down to the Republicans. fastfood just wants to give them the finger.
Fastfood’s got one on “upcoming” right now that’s a dead-on steal of one of mine. How do I know I did mine first? I uploaded the damn picture. Pisses me off.
I know. Here’s mine, and here is fastfood’s Oddly similar, huh?
I just went a-votin’ and come back depressed. I could have been at it all night, there was so much dreck. I wonder whether someone’s got a weird pc program that downloads rehject lols, throws in random tedious captions and uploads them again in an attempt to drown out the good stuff. I’ve only been doing this for a couple of weeks and even to me it looks like something’s going badly wrong..
Well, fastfood is a known plagiarist.. doesn’t seem to make him stop though.
The other one that pisses me off is the same picture with the same caption, over and over and over ad nauseum. How many did we see with Ahamanutjob holding his ears and the captions all went “lalalalala I can’t hear you”.
I’m beginning to wonder whether submitting lols has just been prescribed as occupational therapy in one of the larger mental institutions. Maybe after a while they’ll swap over to lolcats and give us a break..
I tried to make it all the way through the mass of horrible lols, but I gave up after 15 or 20 minutes. There’s a ton of duplicates, pics with no captions, captions in other languages…WTF. – Terrible.
No, no, my favorites are the ones where they didn’t proofread the first one and screwed it up, and instead of deleting, they just submit another one just like it, often screwing that one up too. That being said, I think kids are making some of them. I know my son has forced me at gunpoint to let him do a couple cat/animal LOLs (he loves ICHC).
I just looked over the voting page… and quite frankly I feel like hibernating until the harsh winter of lols is over….
It hasn’t been this unoriginal since the massive flood of “Epic Win” LOLs after the election.
Now is the winter of our discontent.
Some good lol’s get -15, while horrible ones get +5, how come?
And I don’t even watch that crap show or follow these lifeless fleshopoids, and really, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but c’mon people, SPENCER PRATT IS A HOMOSEXUAL. I mean PLEASE.
“SPENCER PRATT IS A HOMOSEXUAL”
And you’re interested in him…why?
Ooops, there isn’t supposed to be a “why ?” at the end there. My bad.
Your assertion is offensive to homosexuals everywhere.
Oops!!! Very sorry.
You shouldn’t hate anyone, it’s bad for your health. Pity her.
That works out ‘cos I pity the fool!!!
Hate, then maim, THEN pity. Then forgive.
Not seeing “kill” any where in there. Why are you excluding “kill”?? Especially when it is so obviously needed.
Pity is wasted on the dead….
Mind you , I guess you could tag on ‘kill’ right after ‘forgive’. By now you’d probably have the FBI after you.
*writing all of this down* Are you SURE the FBI will be after me?? I’ve been a bit lonely so…
O….K….. well, good luck with that one…*starts making a lol about heroic FBI rescuing cats*
Should have put a
to indicate I was kidding. No, really, I am kidding.
I KNOW. Me too. (only kidding) (NOT) (kidding) etc…
*copies Hel’s notes* Thanks dude, I got here late.
Any time. I’m now lighting a fire in hopes of getting the CFD to come over.
Oh that’s right.. you live in Chicago.. I live in the ‘burbs. The ghetto one.
“I live in the ‘burbs. The ghetto one.”
You’ll have to be more specific.
The ghetto-ist?
The obvious answer is that she must not be a Democrat or she wouldn’t be on here. D’oh!!!!
Same for you right?
No- this place is like a zoo where you go to see the deranged Liberals form nasty little groups and then they gang up on anyone who isn’t a flaming liberal themselves- you know, that “Progressive Compassion” they always go on about. Can’t you just feel the Love here?
And obviously she’s a Republican– she’s good looking! Seen any good looking Democrats lately ?
Yep. But I’m not telling you where to find them, until you calm down enough to be nice to them!
Yup. I think Pelosi’s HOT! ssssssssssss
Yes. Me.
Actually, both the progressives and conservatives seem to dislike you equally here.
Hey, he snaps at us regressives just as much as he does the lefties. I think he’s just grumpy.
I think we can agree that TO is disliked by most PKer.
Indeed, I’m giggling cause now I get to say that Eddie and Froo are liberals cause they’re in our troll bashing group!
*calls Eddie and froo on a threeway call*
Hey you two! Guess What!?!
You’re having a threeway with froo and Eds? I’m jealous. And disturbed. You have a strange kink there my friend.
Dangit, I figured throwing in “call” at the end would preturb people from picking up on that…
Good game Charro… you beat me.
*rubs smoking ears*
Did someone call me?
P.S. 8 hours to go! Who wants to guess the weight? (NOT MINE, assholes!)
Max “called” you.. Hee hee.
For reals, I called you AND Eddie… AT THE SAME TIME… cause you know… I multitask.
Max, I really don’t want to know, do I?
Yeah, probably best to adhere to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on this one. Btw…. The One called you and froo liberals!
BOOYAH! Here’s your card!
*hands Eddie and froo their Liberal Cards*
Whoa whoa whoa! THEY get liberal cards, but shortright still has mine?! WTF?
Well The One technically DID call you a deranged liberal too… since you’ve bashed his opinion before…
Hmmm, Short, being that you are the current holder of the card, I’ll leave this to your jurisprudence!
Hey hey hey! I may be a liberal, but I’m not…okay, so I guess I’m a fair bit deranged too. Okay, carry on.
*holds rando’s card just out of reach*
i believe i get to keep this for now. i pissed off TO enough once that he picked a fight with me when i wasn’t even around… so i must be a deranged liberal. so this “durty librul” card that i revoked from rando a while back will finally come in handy!
Dude, I *need* that card back. I can use it to get a discount on Blizzards from Dairy Queen!
8.2!
I see your 8.2 and raise you .3 lbs. ffs… (For froo’s sake)
7.5
Eddie, you are a sick, sick man….
judging from the pics of how small you are… i’m going with 7.2.
6 lbs 15 oz, 19″ long
Congratulations Faerie Princess!
I wasn’t far off.
Oooh! What do I win?
You get to beat me?
Ooh… That sounds kinky..
Well it’s either that or 38 cents and some pocket lint, that’s all I’ve got on me.
Seriously, taking everything else has said, we’re going to suddenly believe him?!?! I had more faith in you than that, Max.
How about we take turns beating eachother?
Well hell, I’m in!
*starts first beating across charro’s backside*
I love you even more now than I did when you gave me tequila, Eds.
Well ya know… He just seemed so vehement about the fact that anyone who makes fun of his opinion is a deranged liberal… I figured he had to be telling the truth.. besides Eddie, I’d love to usurp you, froo, diss, randyman… and the various other conservatives into the “liberal club” then all the cool people on this site would be liberals…
According to some, I might as well be. You know I’ve been called a R.I.N.O., right?
Well that’s because you can agree with liberals Eddie, and as we know… *grabs a wiffle bat and beams Eddie on the head with each word* CONSERVATIVES NEVER AGREE WITH LIBERALS!
Clearly, Eddie, you’re not frothy enough to be a real Republican. Only TRUE Republicans pray by their beds every night for Obama to die in his sleep and then all the liberal oppressors can be put back in their place and deported to the communist countries they long for so much. That’s what the TRUE Republicans believe, you wishy-washy fool. /heavy sarcasm
*plays The Godfather trumpet score*
I just figured it would fit with all the bat beatings..
Well, this got out of hand fast.
Hey, guys, anyone wanna play wiffle ball?
Thank Max.. I was all for just making the cheeks pink (which I’m sure you can appreciate). He took it to a level I’m not sure about.
Hey! Am I a liberal or a conservative? Quick let me know so I can start liberating or conserving , which ever I’m supposed to do.
Last time I checked, I wasn’t actually on fire. Flaming liberal. Huh. I generally don’t gang up on the conservatives. Just the ones who are assholes. I’m not a big fan of liberal trolls either. Bad for our image.
I’m not too sure where people get this whole “flaming liberal” thing anyways, I’ve never seen a sin-
*Bursts into flames*
OH GOD!! WHY DO I HAVE TO FIND OUT NOW!?
“When there’s a fire, make s’mores!”
OH GOD SOMEONE GET THE COOL H-WHIP!
*hands charro the cool h-whip*
Now douse him like it’s nobody’s business!!
Wait, my s’mores not done yet!!
*stops, drops, and burns to death before he gets to roll*
*whips out flame thrower and dials it to 11*
Better?
Mmmm…nothing like black ash smothered between two graham crackers and a Hershey’s bar, thanks, Ed!
I got back too late, apparently Max is dead and being beat with a wiffle bat.
Which is odd, because usually it’s Max beating people to death with his silver hammer.
If you don’t like it, leave.
Yeah, and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
Actually, I think that would make it better. And funnier.
I swear their Relationship is as fake as the show it came from!
No, the show really did exist.
More’s the pity. :-/
Always can tell when the caption is writen by a virgin male.
Or, just someone with sense…
… because obsessing over how you hate people you’ve never met is ALWAYS a sensible thing…
Um, who’s obsessing?
bothering to LOL something is evidence of it…. but I was obviously not using the term in a strict way; I was using it as a contrast.
Why do you think quibbling over the word “obsessing” is significant? It’s as relevant as using the word “sense” in the comment to which I was replying.
Ooh, get her!
That was your whole plan. Get her.
Cause you all know each other?
Easy way to tell. Ask him what a boob feels like. If he says “bag of sand,” then you know for sure.
40 Year Old Virgin FTW!!
She was a ho. For sho.
Best line in the whole movie. Fo sho.
Also classic: I remember her. She was hurtin’ for a squirtin’.
Mffphle? I’m a certified, card-carrying, had-way-too-much-sex-for-my-own-good, dirty old man, and I *love* blue-eyed blondes with big boobs, but I still want this personality-less blow-up doll off this planet STAT. And every “pay attention to MEEEEE” freakazoid from every other “realitycrap” TV show that ever aired. And Donald Trump can drive the ship that takes them all to one of the moons of Saturn and blows up on arrival but we don’t tell them that part.
hmm… does that include Obama?
Oh FFS! Give your drivel a rest, ok?
I hope you still have some of that tequila..
Cases! I have an in with Sammy Hagar.
I love you.
Yes, well I do like my Wabo Cabo.. and FYI, Jose Cuervo is a good friend of mine.
I’m better friends with Jack Daniels, but Jose and I get along well.
Old Crow’s even better = )
My father-in-law wants to be your best friend now, and he doesn’t even know about you yet.
Does he know I’m an evil Republican? That could be the deal breaker you know.
He doesn’t really follow politics much. More of the “if they’re in office, they’ve gotta suck” party. And a die hard Sammy fan.
Oh, well that works for me! Bring him around the back, you’ll see the Wabo Cabo on the table.
And we get to DRH’s real purpose here. Big surprise.
Of course!
This is obviously that famour liberal compassion I’ve heard so much about.
I’m assuming famour = famous? That being the case, no, it’s a matter of wishing that she would just shut the f*ck up and fade away into oblivion with her Significant Other.
Yes…for me it’s mainly that they are so ubiquitous. I really don’t care all that much about them one way or the other, I just get tired of seeing/hearing about them every time I turn on the tv. Same goes for you, Ryan Sechrest.
Since I have a 6-year-old daughter, I’m sick to death of Miley Cyrus. Oh, and Miranda Cosgrove. My daughter is hyper obsessed with iCarly on Nickelodeon. I have been forced, at gunpoint, to watch that show repeatedly. Yes, at gunpoint.
Well, we keep wishing that of Obama, but …
That’s why he won the election, right? RIGHT?!
According to TO, no.. But then that’s just his butthurt politics seeping (or is it oozing) through. No, I didn’t vote for Obama, but geez, what are we going to do? Roll back the election and call it invalid?
You can only roll back prices at Wallstmart.
Plus Shaq is holding a panda.
But whose argument is irrelevant?!
None of them are. But TheOne’s argument is invalid.
Oh I see, because he’s holding himself!! Not a panda but a worm!
I have no idea why I keep thinking it’s “irrelevant”, not “invalid”.
Well you better clean up your act, goddamnit!!1!1!!1!!!!
…
…
I’m sorry.
That’s why he won the election, right? RIGHT?!?
Stupid PK.
Do we really want our president to fade into oblivion? I think the repercussions of that would be a bit alarming. Like him or not, would you rather have NOBODY be president? Don’t answer that question, I’m sure the answer will be stupid and trollish (i.e. “yes, I would.”)
Entropy, my friend. Entropy.
…
I don’t know what that word means. I has teh dumb. I cannot brain today.
Entropy is my excuse for the state of my office desk. –I’m demonstrating entropy for the students!
You’re a shining example. I commend thee. Next, show them jaded and pessimistic. I’ll come on for that demonstration.
i have no idea who this person is. palin´s sequel, maybe?
Your sequel?
ZOMFG Palin has a sequel?!
Yeth! Bristol sewed it to her knickers…
Anyone else noticing that Adblocker plus just became totally ineffective?
Mine still works. But PK has been weird on occasion, so…
It’s not stopping much of anything.
I signed out from firefox, and came back on–still working. Makes me wonder if it might be time for you to do a virus scan, just in case? *thinks good computer vibes in a southern direction*
Run my anti virus every day. A ton of local adds, and individual disabling them is showing new servers. I’m thinking someone figured out how adblocking software works, and simply moved all their ad servers.
I got nothing. I’m good. Gotta be a virus or spyware of some sort.
Check for updates.
You do get to vote her off the island.
Can’t we just throw her off a cliff?
That would probably be more fun!
I vote for fun!
The aye’s have it!
Ow! My aye!
Aye like this idea.
Heidi, the tribe has spoken. *snuffs torch* AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *thud*.
*tents fingers* Excellent.
As a side note, why am I picturing Lord of the Flies?
Because it beats the hell out of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.
You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.
Thanks Diss!!!
I have to admit, Heidi Montag does remind me of a few airhead bimbos from my high school. The kind that thought “Homecoming” was actually meaningful and that pep rallies were more important than the game; both of which, of course were more important than actually learning anything.
LOL, typical american woman, blonde & dumb
Are you saying all American women are blonde?
Are YOU saying that all American woman are dumb?
are YOU saying all dumb blonde women are american?
(avril lavignawiyhgfbwljekn is canadian. and very blonde and very dumb.)
Are YOU saying that all women dumb blonde American are?
Are YOU saying that all American dumb blonde women are typical?
are YOU saying that all typical women are american blonde dumb?
*facepalm*
Wut? We run out of funny?
*hugs ivan*
it’s ok. i still lurv you!
Are you saying, uh…all women are blonde typical…oh fvck it.
Are **YOU** saying that all American women are dumb, blonde, have large antigravity breasts and a butt so fine it makes you cry just to look at it?
ITT:
charro
the_original_shortright
HelOnWheels
Rando the Floydist
forge
Danbala
iz TROLL’D HARD !!!!
HURRRR DURRRR DERP DERP
Did anyone understand this collection of letters after our names?? I didn’t. Is it some kind of code?
And once again, I was left out. I won’t stand for it! *stomp*
Christopher Reeves won’t stand for it neither!
charro iz TROLL’D HARDER
HURRRRRRR DURRRRRRR HERP DERP DERP
Oh look, the idiot squad is awake early today.
Don’t you have anything better to do? Shouldn’t the little bus be coming for you right now?
LOL, typical troll, asshatty & asshatty
fricking moron has my vote.
Ooh! Who has crack?
Ok, but which came first, the crack or the moron?
Can they exist concurrently? Then that’s my answer.
Yes. Though correlation does not equal causation, one must keep in mind.
The plumber guy from a few LOL’s back. Pretty sure it’s nothing you’d want though.
You must have read my mind, I was thinking the same thing. Then I felt ill and couldn’t bring myself to post that.
Now I’m going to have to wash just thinking about it.. thanks!
I prefer Angel Dust anyway.
Super Mario really needs to pull up his pants. Yuck.
I mean, honestly. It’s a LOL site. Sure, we like to come here, hang out, and post stuff, but when the cards are down, it’s just a LOL site. If it shut down tomorrow, our lives wouldn’t be horribly changed. Yet some folks (DRH) take stuff too seriously.
I dunno… my life would change… I’d have to find something to do while I’m at my phoney baloney job gentlemen!
Harumph!
I’d probably just find another website to harrass people on. It’s happened before.
Can’t we do it general purposes anyway?