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DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL
The reason Daddy does what he does.
(Paige and Brett Bennethum)
He does it for him, too (Via I Has A Hotdog)
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: dunno source via Poster Builder
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Cheezburger Company Blog
I Can Has Cheezburger? - Lolcats n Funny Pictures 
Lolcats - Lolcats n' Funny Cat Pictures
I Has A Hotdog - Loldogs n Cute Puppies 
Animal Capshunz - All of the Internet's Animals. Captioned
Animal Videos - Cute and Hilarious Animal Videos
Animal Gifs - Cute and Hilarious Animal Gifs
Daily Squee - So cute your brain might explode. 
Historic LOLs - Captioned Portraits of Yore
My Food Looks Funny - Funny Food Photos
So Much Pun - Visual Puns and Jokes
ROFLrazzi - Lol Celebs and All That's Fab Funny in Showbiz 
Totally Looks Like - Stuff That Looks Like Other Stuff
Must Have Cute - See. Want. Must Have!
If Style Could Kill - OMG Style!
Lovely Listing - Strange Findings in Real Estate Listings
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LOLAME
I second that statement.
It’s a sweet picture. However, it’s NOT FUNNY. *knocks on computer screen* Hey, Admins! Isn’t this crap supposed to be FUNNY? *knocks monitor off back of desk* Ooops.
I am less funny for having read this “lol.” Fcuk you, PK!!!
damn… it took your funny away just be seeing it. Thats rough man… real rough.
It’s true! The funny is being sucked out! A man walks into a bar…and, uh, he orders a beer. The end. SEE WHAT I MEAN?!
It wasn’t even a jewish beer either! Gah!
You mean oy, right? See! That’s not funny either!
The beer that made Tel Aviv famous.
Humor is often a means to broach sensitive subjects. This site manages to balance both — while we poke fun at things on this site if your are seeking simple humor, I recommend the other pages on this venue. One of the problems with America today is that we have divorced ourselves from the realities of sacrifice — be it soldiers in today’s generational conflict or the day to day “Rosa Parks” of life. One of my complaints about modern America is the total separtation between those who go the extra mile and those who go on “shopping” as our last President told us to do. That is why I hate the All-Volunteer Military…The Every Soldier is a Hero…Liberals who won’t serve and conservatives who won’t serve — cuz they have more important things to do — in my humble opinion they are both like Dick Cheney — all show and no go.
Some people are just not cut out to be soldiers. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I think the military should be respected for putting their lives on the line to protect something they believe in.
As for the site, I do read the other sections, and occasionally post there, and occasionally make the front page with LOLs. But they ARE LOLs. They’re supposed to make us Laugh Out Loud. Inspirational captions are fine, but they’re not LOLs, and the Cheezburger Network really should look into creating their own site for it since they’ve become so popular here lately. Me, I’m just in it to laugh at politicians and the news.
bitter troll loves to laugh at news too
weather report always cracks him up.
Rainy with slight thunder?
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
Soory, but this site has become more than that.
Candian?
No but my daughter-in-law and grandchildren are, and my son may soon be.
I lol’ed!
See — this could be a LOL, if we let it flow, as per normal with this collection of miscreants!
BTW, VNV — I know that I have a tendency to overreact on ocassion. *extends an olive branch* perhaps we can agree to disagree.
I really meant *sorry* but am challenged. But that’s the point of civic responsibility — we all owe the duty to society, whether we are “cut out for it” or not.
more then one way to pay that due too
Meh.
BT — True. Rando — Sad
Different ways to do our duty to society, I agree BT. I try to vote in every election, even the local primary stuff, lousy weather or not. And keep informed, recycle, save energy (except with my computer (blush)), and teach the next generation not to be clueless goofs.
You folks do NOT want me holding a projectile-throwing weapon!
VG–That I can agree with. I don’t agree with mandatory civil service, though.
Why not, VG — it’s gotta go somewhere…
Given that I often walk into doorframes, and often drop things (amusing in an athlete, but…), I imagine that there would be a pretty high percentage chance that I eventually accidentally end up shooting my own foot, or a colleague in the back. I can mostly avoid breaking things at work by using plastic whenever possible. But it is hard to do that sort of unintentional damage when a klutz is regularly using a weapon!
Maybe you can take out the idiot that claims to have posted this in spite of the fact she didn’t label the LOL that way.
OK, so long as you make sure to stand behind me!
Ahhemm, OK, but….
*Wiggles*
Just remember, I’m armed and dangerous…and it was your idea!
Don’t wiggle too much or I can’t be responsible…well maybe a little…
Proving that Charlie Foxtrot is male…not that there was any doubt!
Thank you for your service.
yes, thank you very much for service.
Thank you for your service.
I hope you don’t forget to thank guys like me for developing the equipment you and your buddies use every day to survive over there.
Do you have any idea how you sound?? We certainly wouldn’t want to have any UNGRATEFUL soldiers now would we?? Heck, they should throw YOU a parade!
We do appreciate your service. This isn’t the place for this kind of thing. This is a site to have some laughs over the news and politics. There are better places for these pictures. Nobody is trying to belittle our troops. Seriously. I’m sure being in the hell of Afghanistan, you’d like the opportunity for a laugh too, right?
FINALLY!! When I saw this, I INSTANTLY got teary-eyed up, having just got back from a deployment, and a three year old daughter, it was a bit of an emotional sucker-punch. I am just glad that some one else felt the same way I did.
and next time you get pulled over by a cop, make sure you suck his occk real long and hard before he gives you a ticket, for keeping all the whores, pimps, thieves, drug dealers and child molesters away from your family….or you can call him names as you look at your ticket
Thank you for your service, Jason. I pray for you guys and gals every night and will continue to do so.
To be perfectly honest, I’m not interested in selling my life to a bunch of politicians. But that’s just me…
Well, you kinda do already.
We are all wage slaves….
We are the slaves of our servants..
Don’t compare Rosa Parks with a corporate-and-fear-mongering BS was killing thousands of our own men and women, as well as tens or even hundreds of thousands of the Middle Eastern population.
well.. if we didn’t kill em they’d just be killin each other. at least this way we rake in extra honor points for the new pvp gear that’s comin out with cataclysm. woot!
How about a slightly funnier one? Well, only trying to help!
Dammit that was rubbish. Forgot how to do it. Ignore me.
Try this one….
Funnier than the one that’s up there now.
I giggled! Thanks, keithybabes!
“Take your daughter to work day isn’t just some random holiday. It’s your patriotic duty!”
There.
Work for you?
Yeah, right.
Yay! Dad has a job to feed his kid! How noble!
Considering all the deadbeat dads (and moms, for that matter) I would say it is.
I was being semi-serious. Having a job is noble!
Also necessary. I’m happy to make a virtue out of necessity..
It makes you feel good and keeps you alive. Its a win/win!
Does that mean tacos area also a win/win?
Was there ever any doubt?
oh. I thought you said meat tacos.
But yeah.
Was there ever any doubt?
OMG I LOVE TACOS!
*perks up from her hangover*
Did someone say tacos?
Just got back from Taco Bell! Big thumbs up for the Black Jack! GO now.
Actually, I think the point is that he’s presumably fighting to protect his daughter’s interests/future as an American.
Either way, it’s still not got the funny, dammit.
OMG! Those were soldiers? I thought they were the new South Carolina Wal-Mart employees!
And no. Its not funny.
I thought they worked for the new BassPro we just got down the road.
Huntin’ season doth approach!
Mmmmm… can’t wait for the Bambi sausage and the Thumper stew. It’s the highlight of fall.
mmmmmm you can taste their tears!
Is that why the stew is so salty?
yaaaaaaa….not because bitter troll loves the stew so much bitter troll LOVES the stew
O.O
Awww, you made little Paige Bennethum cry.
Oh wait, she’s already crying.
Awwwww.
Am I heartless if your comment made me laugh, Pitty?
Yes. But it’s why we like you.
It’s okay, I too laughed. Much more so than to this LOL.
Also, it’s highly likely he had the job first. We do work to feed our own self-esteem, not our kids.
It does seem likely. He seems older than your new recruit. So in essence, he doesn’t have a job for the kid. This damn lol is a phony!
Send it back to Army Propaganda.
Where is the propaganda?
why daddy does what he does…
…thats right little girl..
daddy drinks because of things YOU do.
LOL! You actually made me laugh!
“Please, daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas, I don’t wanna hear my mama cry…”
Daddy helps to support the killing and occupation of many innocent people so that you can continue to be a privileged and ignorant American who doesn’t have to dirty their own hands.
Oops. You aimed that at the WRONG person, asshole. Charlie *has* served. You fail. Badly.
Say what? Your post doesn’t even make sense.
I do work to feed my mouth. Any benefit to my self esteem is just gravy.
Mmm, gravy.
They don’t allow that in the military… yet
They allow it. You just can’t admit it.
I believe it is.
I remember hearing 10% once as the normal level of non-hetrosexuality in my country (UK). Was a while back though, in school I think, and I’m fairly sure they taught me a lot of mistruths, haha.
I guess the problem is that studies will use self-reporting, which would be culturally influenced (much like heavily Catholic and Islamic countries have much lower official suicide rates, but more accidental and unexplained deaths).
Perhaps using other animals as a guide would give a rough estimate. I’m sure I remember there being a figure for sheep, like 8% or something. As animals are probably less inclined to lie about or hide who they like to hump, the % figure is probably fairly accurate, and if it starts to be similar across species, then perhaps could be correlated to humans as well? Hmmmn… there’s a thesis in that… anybody want to fund me?
he still loves him some psusy
that kind of language hurts my felines.
We could just execute people like that.
Wait, is that too fascist?
Nope, not too fascist. It’s just fascist enough.
touche
at the very least sort of “dead beat dadish” the way you put it. Interesting twist though. “Uncle Sam wants you, to join the military and run off from your wife and children! Ready to trade diapers for grenades? The lawnmower for a tank? The office for the wide open spaces? Join the Army now!”. That might even get some new recruits. It for some reason also reminds me of Superman Returns. Oh wait. That was the dead beat dadish comment.
nothing says superman like a dead beat dad and his bastard space alien child
Its what I always thought of growing up, pretending to be a hero!
sorry i knocked you up and fly off with out saying good bye lois…but im back and HOLY CRAP SUPER BABY -flys off-
Can’t wait for the sequel! kidding….
according to imdb it’s being released in 2011 (sigh)
Well its good to know we have shared a sense of loss together today. And that’s just what PK is about isn’t it? Its not about the soldiers or the news, and it definitely isn’t about the lols. Its about random people. Random people over the internet who get to meet up, and over time, find out how they have been saddened by similar things. Sure you may be fighting about something different tomorrow, but today you cried. And you cried together. And -that- is the spirit of PK.
Cause…. it definitely ain’t the lol’s.
I’m a comic geek and that movie made me cry. Stick to the x men singer!
The only super hero story that sucked harder that that was Venom in Spidey 3.
agreed and I normally like Sam raimi’s stuff/ Drag me to hell felt right. Like he was back to his old self.
yes normally bitter loves him some sam raimi…but spidey 3 he was trying to please WAY to many people instead of tell a good story
3 villains, two annoying side stories…yeah, too much for one crappy movie.
if they had just ONE villian, and focused on the story, could of been real good
They should have had him find the symbiotic costume and keep the black suit through out the whole movie and then the end should have been the church bell tower scene. Part 4 should have been the Spidey/Venom movie. Then Spidey 5 and the Venom solo movie. Then Maximum Carnage.
And NO CLONE SAGA!!!
meh, have him take movie one with the black suit and loveing it, then the next movie him figureing it out is evil and dealing with brock while fighting a villian, then next movie venom, then movie after spidey turns 40
Me…I’m waiting for the Deadpool movie and hoping they don’t F it up.
I’ve got a large collection of deadpool comics in my closet. I was super excited when I heard Ryan Rynolds was going to play wade in the wolverine movie. BUT WTF DID THEY DO TO POOL AT THE END?
Deadpool movie should be awesome! Hopefully. You know… if they don’t screw it up.
I don’t expect it to follow the comics. Hell they hardly made sense to begin with. but as long as they follow the spirit of deadpool I’ll be happy.
Being the aging geek that I am, I have a complete run of Pool…and yeah, did not feel warm about what they did with him at the end. Liked what Reynolds did with it for the brief time he was there, but pretty boy Pool? Nooo…gotta have the cancer face. That’s what makes him Deadpool.
the end of the logan movie…that wasnt deadpool. it was a silent but deadly clone of him…thats right…they could not control the pool…so they cloned him…
Maybe he was a clone! Like the monster was a strange mix of mutant powers right? Maybe it just took Reynolds wise crackin’ mouth?
Funny, I’ve been re-reading the whole run. Damn, that Kelly is a clever writer. As long as they are going to use Reynolds, they kinda have to go back to old Pool…and it seems like he has the proper wise assedness to make it work. Think Blind Al or Weasel will make it to the movie?
BITTER TROLL DEMANDS WEASLE…blind al can wait….BUT WEASLE DAMMIT!!! HE MADE IT INTO UA HE BETTER MAKE IT INTO MOVIE
T-Ray, Ajax, LL&L, Deuce the Wonder Dog??? Good Old Doc Killebrew?
bah lets not fill it with every character and glout the story keep it simple. tell what became of the pool after his adventures , perhaps how he met weasle and decided to become less of a douche
Seems like they have to work Weasel in since he’s the one who supplies the weapons and devices.
Yay! We’ve all been waiting for Venom to be in a Spider-Man movie! He’s TOPHER GRACE?! Uh, okay, well, I’m sure it will still be cool! As soon as he comes on screen. Still waiting. Still waiting. Hey! It’s Venom! Oh, and now he’s dead 30 seconds later. Wow.
I’m glad I didn’t pay money to see that movie.
I know right? Wasn’t Eddie Brock always kind of…big? And untopherish?
Yeah. If i remember right he was a tall incredibly buff blonde dude. Basically the polar opposite of both Peter Parker and Topher, who shouldn’t have been near this movie.
meh bitter troll could of gone with the topher , honestly topher did a good job as eddie brock.
just not enough screen time as venom to judge if he did good or not.
and WTF happened to his teeth once he became venom?
suddenly im a villian…bla i have fangs out of the mask too
He lost his dental insurance as soon as he bonded with the symbiote.
that space monster that fused to you yesterday, well we consider that pre-existing. sorry eddie…now put these fake fangs in
Eddie Brock was a body builder in the original comic I believe, big ol Dolph Lundgren type guy. And I agree with what ya’ll are sayin up there – Venom is such an important (and popular) character in the Spidey series it’s a travesty they bumped him down to a quasi-plot / side character in this Spidey 3. He deserved a movie of his own! VNV said it best – shoulda been, just like in the comic, a full movie with him and the black suit (that coulda opened it up for a Fantastic 4 cross-over too), then have a full movie just Spidey/Venom or even condense it to Spidey/Venom/Carnage.
P.S. I like Topher Grace – he’s a great actor, but not in this role. Booo
-waves- hello, im tv’s topher grace…bye
conquer her a pony!
Now THAT’s a caption.
But yeah, this isn’t funny. Just preachy. Dammit, PK! Pick up the clues that have been TOTALLY INDISCREETLY.
My great uncle had his tongue shot out in the War.
He never used to talk about it…
lol!
My grandpa went deaf after the war.
He never heard the end of it.
Those are as bad as the quadruple amputee jokes.
And I laughed.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who is at your doorstep?
well bitter troll normally calls him bill. that his name.
nope, Matt… What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the forest?
bitter troll only knows one guy with no arms or legs, bitter troll’s brother is matt and he has arms and legs
nope, it’s Russell, how about a guy with no arm and no legs in the pool?
Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
Art!!! A kindred soul!
I did confess to laughing, didn’t I?!
BTW we have an armless, legless, mostly head-less model in lab…his name is Art
Yes you did — now don’t start on the Dead Baby Jokes, OK?
Is he a MOD?
Not sure what a MOD is. This one’s skeletal with some muscles and the nerve plexuses.
sorry, my age coming through — MODs were the Brit’s during the British Invasion of the 60′s.
Ah. As in Johnny, the armless, legless former solder?
Yeah. DON’T start on the Dead Baby Jokes. *glares pointedly at VG & Charlie*
LOL, no, but a good one — my drift went to MODern Art… Sad, I know, but I am old.
uh, Rando, How many…oops soory *Canadian for I better shut up now*.
Ok, well what do you call a girl with a wooden leg?
Peg?
Well, Peggy actually.. but close!
And a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen?
YAY!! Finally.. and the Japanese girl?
God damn those half-Japanese girls
Do it to me every time
Irene, of course!
Was that a real joke? ‘cos if so, I unintentionally ripped someone off. LOL
My grandpa died in a death camp during the war.
He fell from the watchtower.
Go back to reading Chick Tracts and sending chain letters about angels, whoever made this failol.
These men have terrible posture. Is it some state militia or something?
They may not be at attention. If they are, then damn, cause my HS marching band did better than that.
Nobody likes you.
agreed.
Go spam someone else, because we’re not biting.
I bit my tongue. Oww…
Is this the wife of Frog Boy who pets squirrels?
He pets them? I thought he vomited them and left them on the doormat to die.
I’m glad you think this LOL isn’t funny. It wasn’t meant to be. If you don’t like it, please just move on to the next one. None of you has any way of knowing whether or not this soldier married and fathered this child before enlisting. You don’t know anything about him at all, except that he’s going to be away from his daughter for a long time, possibly forever. So please don’t expose your ignorance and insensitivity by criticizing me for making it.
If it wasn’t meant to be funny, then why did you submit it?
And are you sure this is a soldier? Cause Mina sounded pretty for real about that Bass Pro Shop oppening.
Oh… and … you suck! *snicker*snicker*
Actually, it’s pretty easy to find out about Brett and his family right now because of the picture…. 2 seconds on Google.
Besides, that’s not the point. It’s come to our attention that you don’t understand what “LOL” stands for. Hint: neither L stands for lachrymose.
Damn diss! You are good! Called him out by name! lol!
Aw, I can’t take much credit — PK actually correctly identified him under the picture.
this is still a humor site right?
did it change?
are all the cats on the other page now giveing out heart warming messeges too?
i can haz better self esteem?
Perhaps Cheezburger should start a new site for those who can’t get by without a daily dose of misery or patriotic lumpy throat. How about mawkish.com? Then we could vote on the most sentimental caption. See, I just give away valuable ideas..
You and me, keithybabes, we’re gonna start a site together doing just that. We’ll get super rich off the merchandise!
And the domain is apparently available!!! here’s one to start it off..
Look, lady, we’re all about respecting the troops here, okay? That’s not the issue. This site is supposed to be funny, but people like you and ol’ EWAdams, NObama08, and fastfood have tried to turn it into their soapbox to push their agenda. Which is a really, REALLY stupid place to do it.
We don’t need no inspiration.
We don’t need no guilt control.
Just dark sarcasm and some laughter.
Preacher, leave those LOLs alone.
Hey! Preacher! Leave those LOLs alone!
all in all we’re just another page on the web
All in all its just a another unfunny LOL.
All and all they all were just dicks in my LOL.
rando bitter troll loves you!
I love you too, bitter troll…hands off the ass, dude.
Don’t be afraid of your feelings Rando!
Who’s afraid of what feelings? bitter’s hands have troll claws on them.
That just makes it more kinky
I don’t like pain. Nooooooo.
You rock, man!!
I think I just wrote a Floydist psalm.
You did. And I am wiser for it. I thank you.
Go forth, and shine on, you crazy diamond!
Look I was a soldier. I’ve deployed to Iraq. I respect what they must do. But this is a humor site. I come here to laugh.
See? Even soldiers agree!
Ditto. Not a soldier though..a marine
)
well know one is perfect. JK
Hey Semp, what do you get when 2 sailors go on a ship?
Watch it, bud..
Us Air Force puke had to put up with maaaaaaany jokes….
The answer? 1 couple comes off…
That makes 3 regulars who served that I know of, which means there are more. (Uncle Fester would have made 4).
Where is Uncle Fester?
Someone said a while back that he was having health issues. From some of the references he used to make, I suspect that he may be 70 or more in age.
OH, sad to hear that. My mom’s a WWII vet, she’s in her late 80′s and still as feisty as ever, thankfully.
Yay for feisty elderly folk! WAAC, WAVE, WASP or medical?
She was a nurse — married my Dad while they were in France (he was a Medic) who passed away in 2000. But she is still a pain in the … OOPS Mom, you didn’t hear that, did you?
That she is…
My dad was a corpsman in WWII, Korea, and a bit of ‘Nam.. Goooooooooooooooooo NAVY!
NAVY!!! what the hey, here I thought we were friends!!!
you get your ass shot at and you can well imagine I’d be the best friend you’ve ever had.. and probably the first person you would want to see.
So, are we still friends?
well…. whan you put it that way, HELL YEAH!!!
LOL!! I thought as much..
My old man was a Tech Sgt. in England. Worked on radar and such. He was famous for sleeping through bombing raids. I can see it. Miss the old coot.
I know, it’s amazing what people can do under stress — miss mine too.
Snap!
Dear Paula…*ahem*…IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!!!!
Maybe the admins could set up a new slot expressly for stuff that is preachy, simpering, whiney, etc. That way if it’s not meant to be funny…it won’t get posted here….where it’s supposed to be FUNNY!
They could call it icanhaznollos or awwwwwwwwwwblog or something else to warn us all away. How bout it?
AARRR…icanhaznolols! See? Put me right off my feed. Somebody tell a joke please.
icanhaztearjerker?
icanhazbuticaremorethanyoudo!
icanhazwhaaaaaambulance?
icanhazohgodi’mgonnapuke!
I vote for choice c) icanwaswhaaaaaambulance.com
I NEED a WHAAAAAAMBULANCE!!!
And I can see that keithybabes beat me to it already while I was waiting for it to load. Grrrrrr. Can we tag team them buddy?
Heh. I’m pretty sure I said this last Wednesday or thereabouts.
Missed it. I suck. But I mean well!
Yes, the movement is a-building. If only I weren’t so damn lazy I would start it today. Where’s a good place to locate the head office?
Oh! At first I thought you were trying to say icanhazcanolli..
Mmmmmmm…canolli…and the canolli is never a lie. Too much creamy goodness.
I was on the street today and they were giving out free chocolate truffles. I’m fairly sure that’s a win.
Give it a rest, sweetheart. You put it out there, suck up the response.
Charlie you should be spanked, you reprobate.
soooo because he is a drunk and has an anger problem, he cant hold down a real job and support himself let alone the wife and kids, so he is forced to join the only place left that would take him, the military.
sure im makeing it all up, but its possable.
Is that an offer?
I’ll probate you if you reprobe me.
Deal!
*readies camera* Aaaaand… Action!
have you suked a soliders ckoc today? no?
THEN YOU CLEARLY DONT UNDERSTAND FREEDOM AND DONT LOVE AMERICA!!!!!!!!!
GET DOWN THERE AND SUCK
YOU OWE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO THE HIGH SCHOOL DROP OUT WHO HAD NO OTHER CHOICE THEN TO JOICE
SUCK DAMN YOU SUCK!!
In the case of Ms. Paula ‘My Feelings Are Hurt’ Weber, it’s Mocktober!
bitter troll thinks bitter troll will write a country song about this subject
“If you dont suck his Kokc , you dont believe in america, but if you enjoy it it makes you gaaaaay.”
forget police and firemen, screw the metermaids.
the guy who drives the subway
the chick who gets your coffee
all those people would be DEADEADEAD
Dead Head? Dead Head, where’s the tye-dye?
And the bus.. you gotta have the bus!
no no this is country music, not allowed to talk about that hippy stuff
Just in case the soldier is female, I would rephrase that–have you su(ked a soldier’s co(k or clit today?
nope, bitter troll refuses to budge
Come on BT — we all know that you are a lesbian trapped in a man’s body!
Troll’s body. There, I fixed it for you.
no bitter troll is troll trapped in trolls body.
the only lesbian in bitter troll is the one he ate out for breakfast
Om nom nom! I’ll remember to keep my sister far away from you.
And I missed it. bitter, do you not love me anymore?
It must have been those mushrooms I ate.
on the pizza? those where very good
Or Sucktober
That has my vote! Can I use that with the wife?
so long as you SHARE it with the wife!
And ONLY with the wife.. I’ve grown accustomed to breathing.
Smart man!
You have to come up for air now and again…
*removes another protective film from her monitor*
Justa? Can I get another pack of these, please?
If I can ever get that Billy Mays guy to get back busy shipping them. Can’t get an answer when I call. Wonder why?
if he answers….call TAPS!1!!
Get over yourself, Douchious Maximus.
or maybe Douchiana Maxima?
*heh heh* He said Douche….
for the adult swim watchers
the mighty douche!
Don’t watch adult swim, but you know you’re in high school when in French class and you have to say the command for go take a shower (you), and everyone starts busting a gut laughing.
For those of you who do not know what the imperative singular of the verb to shower is in French it’s “Douche-toi!”
Yeah. Definitely high school. XD
She was asking for it: Pretty much inviting us to mock her by telling us not to criticize her.
Dude, I’d mock myself if I said not to criticize me.
Don’t bottle it up Eddie, say what you think. Sometimes you’re just too polite.
I know, right? hehe
my roommate is one of those great dads, and now he’s a terrific grandfather too. on the other hand my ex is as straight as a homophobe can be and he’s a terrible father…. good parents come in all races, religions, nationalities, or whatevers, just like bad parents do
LOL = Laugh Out Loud.
If you call something a LOL and didn’t mean it to be funny, that’s your own damned fault that these people are criticizing you, Paulie.
Consider that your first lesson about the Internet.
Your second lesson shall be “Expecting Sensitivity On The Internet and Other Bad Ideas”. Your study material is all the people that have replied to your “LOL”.
this makes me want to cry
it is pretty unfunny. not cry unfunny. but definitely unfunny.
To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, ‘you would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh’…
Yeah, well, you’re not allowed to do that on here. You must laugh. This is an LOL site, despite some evidence to the contrary recently.
:/
I don’t know about any of the rest of you, but this brought a smile to my face. My parents were both military and I’m proud every time I see someone in uniform. They are braver then most of us by far.
Which is great for you. You should be very proud of them. They do something I don’t think I could ever do. But it’s not funny.
what if the sunday comics was everyday just suck the troops kokc comics, every day, dick tracy just jabbering on about how wonderful the troops are as flattop blows one. get real boreing real fast, and kinda perverted
That’s kinda freaky there, bitter.
now imagin family circus
JEFFY NOOOoooooo
A dotted line following where the soldiers led Jeffy to do the suckin’. Or the mom. She’s kinda hot.
Did I really just type that???
Maybe if you knew the story behind the pic. not everything has to be funny, some can be inspiring.
yeah….cept this is a HUMOR website…its not i can has INSPIREING!!!
True, but there for a while it was IcanhasObamsiah.com.
back when he first got elected?
what did you really expect?
And it’s not like some conservatives don’t use this site for their own purposes as well. There are some people in the voting whose name I can see and automatically start feeling ill before seeing the caption. And they’re all friends with each other. It’s kinda sad.
How about this? Punch was a satirical magazine in C19 and most of C20 and was supposed to be (and quite often was) bitingly funny. However sometimes they couldn’t resist Victorian sentimentality and they came up with pious crap. That was 150 years ago. Obviously things haven’t changed much…
true and this isn’t inspiring
and now for something completely different
Joan was quizzical, studied metaphysicalScience in the homeLate nights all alone with a test-tubeOhh-oh-oh-oh…Maxwell Edison majoring in medicineCalls her on the phone”Can I take you out to the picturesJoa-oa-oa-oan?”But as she’s getting ready to goA knock comes on the door…Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammerCame down upon her headBang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammerMade sure that she was deadBack in school again Maxwell plays the fool againTeacher gets annoyedWishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-eneShe tells Max to stay when the class has gone awaySo he waits behindWriting 50 times “I must not be so-o-o-oo…”But when she turns her back on the boyHe creeps up from behindBang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammerCame down upon her headBang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammerMade sure that she was deadP.C. Thirty-One said “we caught a dirty one”Maxwell stands alonePainting testimonial pictures ohh-oh-oh-ohRose and Valerie screaming from the gallerySay he must go free (Maxwell must go free)The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-ooBut as the words are leaving his lipsA noise comes from behindBang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammerCame down upon his headBang, Bang, Maxwell’s silver hammerMade sure that he was dead
I heard that Maxwell dated Polythene Pam for a while.
Well, she was attractively built.
She was his sister — I don’t think they were from KANE-TUCK-EEE
No no no, Pam is Mean Mr. Mustard’s sister. Don’t mix up your Abbey Road characters.
…in the parlor, with the knife……
no it’s in the kitchen with the rope… and sorry Rando — you are the MAN.
I’m the man? Really? Then it’s about time I stuck it to myself!!
That’s gonna hurt.
Can we watch?
…much like these LOLs are killing us. Very very slowly…
How do you think I planned on doing it? Ironic murders are the best flavour!
Dey has a flavur???
Choking on my own vomit seems to be the most likely option right now, therefore the flavour is beer, curry, and stomach acid. Just to add an extra layer of “EWWW” to this defiant unfunnny antiLOL.
Yeah, vomit definitely would be the flavor of this LOL. Good call. :-\
Really, seems like we have a choice between anti-Republican douchebaggery, anti-Democrat douchebaggery (which I am guilty of, but I’m trying to cut down), Vladurday cliche, and this crap.
Also, “5 dollar footlong” and “pull my finger,” neither of which is funny, either.
or we could just have a good time and use the image to have all kinds of fun conversations.
bitter troll would make one accuseing him of being a pedophile. thats different…
And don’t forget the Pope and the “I am evil” captions. Not that I care one wit about the Pope, but I’m sick of lols of him as well!!
Yeah, you can only make so many “Pope Palpatine” jokes.
So I just made one that had an “Aliens” reference… keep eyes out for it.
If it makes it onto this page, I may never make a political LOL again… so it’s win-win!
Really? Damn, that’s why my last two Pope Palpatines went in the gutter.
Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.
In a constitutional democracy we still have the voice. Your scenario occurs only when we allow it to do so.
I prefer to denounce the pacifists for accepting all of the benefits, but absolving themselves of one of the most important duties/risks, of living in a civilized society.
bitter troll prefers to denounce food from india…its icky
And it burns, burns, burns, my butt’s on fire. My butts on fire….
I prefer to denounce your denouncement.
So, you’re saying you should have to be willing to kill and/or die to live in a civilized society. What’s so civilized about that?
If you steadfastly refuse to help defend the herd, you deserve to be left for the lions.
What if the herd wasn’t under attack? What if just a few rogue members of the herd were picking on other herds? And then we heard that the other herds heard about our herds ways? And then what if that herd hurt some of our herd in responce. Now hearing what we heard about our herd and their herd, if we chose not to defend that small protion of our herd because they were trying to herd herds across a great river, would we still be bad? And what if the other herd heard about out herding herdsman and decided to herd elsehwere? Would that be better or worse? You heard?
Uh…pass?
It’s C, right? The answer is C!
I’m talking about pacifists, not anti (usually one particular) war nits. They aren’t the same thing.
After all, most of the recent antiwar buffs were right behind other ones, like, say, the fight against ethnic cleansing in Kosovo… and also generally pro intervention in Darfur, etc.
I agree…pathetic.
I dunno, I’ve met many a soldier pacifist in my day. Few really want to fight, they’ll do it, but deep down anytrue soldier is a pacifist at heart.
What people don’t want war? Of course people want war. Why do you think they have always been so popular? I can recommend an expert you can call: Dick Halliburton Blackwater Cheney.
No. Just… no.
maybe
Are you certain?
Heisenberg said I can’t be.
could be?
Schrodinger’s cat is of two minds about the subject.
bitter troll donno….
Some people go both ways.
But where do these stairs go?
round and round
I expected more from you bitter troll. The correct answer is “They go up.” Ghostbusters. -1 internets!!!!
Getting back to heroes… “Every hero becomes a bore at last.” ~RWEmerson. WTF did he know? Was he ever in the army?
Heroes became kinda boring in the second season.
new season looks promiseing
It may not feel too classy
Begging just to eat
But you know who does that? Lassie.
And she always gets a treat
So you wonder what your part is
‘cause you’re homeless and depressed
But home is where the heart is
So your real home’s in your chest
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
Everyone’s got villains they must face
They’re not as cool as mine
But folks, you know it’s fine to know your place
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
In their own not-that-heroic way
So I thank my girlfriend, penny
(yeah, we totally had sex)
She showed me there’s so many
Different muscles I can flex
There’s the deltoids of compassion
There’s the abs of being kind
It’s not enough to bash in heads
you’ve got to bash in minds
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
Everyone’s got something they can do
Get up, go out and fly
Especially that guy – he smells like poo
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
You and you and mostly me and you
I’m poverty’s new sheriff
And I’m bashing in the slums
A hero doesn’t care
If you’re a bunch of scary alcoholic bums
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
Everyone can blaze a hero’s trail
Don’t worry if it’s hard
If you’re not a friggin’ ‘tard you will prevail
Everyone’s a hero in their own way
Everyone’s a hero in their way
Groupies: (over hammer)
We’re heroes too
We’re just like you
We’re heroes too
You are a long-winded hero BTroll. This season only.
T-U-R-T-L-E Power!
(teenage mutant ninja turtles)
Ninja, ninja, rap!
Dr. Horrible FTW!
You know, my girlfriend watched that on DVD, and halfway through the story she turned to me and said (Of Dr. Horrible), “When did Joss Whedon meet you, and why didn’t you tell me he was making you into a character?”
I love you BT! As soon as i saw the word “hero” I heard Nathan Fillion in my mind saying “You and you, and mostly me, and you.”
I can’t wait for the Dale Earnhard poems to start appearing next.
Please stop with this kind of sentimental, patriotic brainwashing tripe. I thought these posts were supposed to have an element of humour to them?
That’s what we though too, although apparently “inspirational” is now an acceptable substitute for funny. To some people I guess.
Ms. Paula Weber (who submitted this lolame) doesn’t agree. But then, she’s in the minority and thinks her ‘lol’ belongs here.
I think nobody understood the LOL.
It’s black humor. We are supposed to laugh at the little girl for not wanting her daddy to go to Iraq.
The maker of this UnLOL admitted that it’s not even remotely humourous. She came right out and said that it’s supposed to be touching and inspirational. So, even though you are being sarcastic, every body understood the unlol.
the reason daddy does what?
dying?!
Spending 6 months at a time away from home?
Ugh… more breeder attention-whoring
I get the attention whore part but why breeder?
OMG, the pictured soldier had the temerity to not only reproduce, but to take his progeny out in public! Oh, the humanity!
Gotta love those militant anti-kid people. I’m sure they were all born at the age of 25, right?
what’s better is the militant anti-militant anti-kip people. the irony is this is takes the creases outof my shirt! haha.. get it? iron-y..
/hangs head in shame
bad joke, i know
*starches one eyebrow in the direction of wallFly*
I would like to press you to come up with something better, wallFly.
Might be too board to bother.
He wouldn’t want to mangle the punchline.
Probably decided to crease and desist.
Maybe cuff him on the side of the head.
See now, this is why I fold you in high esteam.
Inseams we’re on the same page. Let’s go out and have a belt!
OK, but it’ll take more than a belt to selvedge *this* thread.
Heh!! You never waist words, do you? And you always have me in stitches.
I got sew embroidered in this thread I lost count.
Don’t worry…weave got a good thing goin’ here.
If not, tweed be wasting time; you’ve never Donegal wrong.
And your pearls of wisdom always knit things together so nicely!
The pearls are just my demure act; it’s a red herringbone.
So you’re saying there’s more to your needling than meets the eye?
I’m not cable-ble of telling that yarn just yet.
Don’t want to rope you in to anything you wouldn’t cotton to.
It wool take a long time in the telling; alpaca picnic lunch.
Denim bringing the wine. Not sure leather you like white or red.
Anything red. By the way, I’ll be in a vintage burgundy dress made by a Saint out of Emilion silk threads.
I’ll be in the tailored black suit with snakeskin boots. Pierre will be a Cardin the pocket to identify me. Silk is my weakness. Boone’s Farm OK?
It’s a zinfandel a lie: punruns won’t pay de la Renta but they are a load of Fendi.
Once again you rose’ to the occasion. I Guess I like this little love seat we satin. Cozy
What good is sitting alone with your loom?
Come, put down that old crochet.
Life is a Cabernet, old chum,
Come to the Cabernet!
Pip pip, old Beene.
I’ve cognac and forth on this one and simply can’t top it!!
My chapeau is off to you once again!
*pants with envy*
He’s armagnac, armagnac that’s for sure. And he’s pantsing like he never pantsed before!
So all the torture, abuse and general criminal behaviour is okay, because it’s done on behalf of a little girl?
Little girls are part of the game. For those not old enough, there was a war in a place called Vietnam, about 800 years ago and some humanitarian US scientists came up with some stuff called napalm…(it burns through to the bone.) A young girl was featured running naked, screaming while napalm eats her flesh. Whatever happened to napalm? I think of it when I fire up the barbecue.
yep, because that’s all the military does.. abuse, torture and commit general criminal acts.
/sarcasm
I never said it was all they did. But by the same token, to pretend that every member of the military is a shining example of truth and virtue is worse than a lie.
Glurge…rising…
Dammit! i hate missing out on discussing unfunny submissions! but hey the comments were worth reading! Good job guys! As for the LOL itself…I am sure the Successory store would love it! pitch it to them. Keep your sentiment out of our lulz!!!
There are things more important than being funny. (I know, I know… hard to believe.) It’s easy to dismiss the soldiers going out to fight as being dupes, trapped in a dumb war. But each one of them entered the service for a reason. And each one leaves lovers, wives, husbands, children, parents, siblings, friends, behind them. Every soldier has a reason to fight, and for most, that reason is summed up in a face. And for every death – even the unheroic deaths, the ones that will never make the front page of even the local papers – there’s a family left grieving, a whole community with an unfilled gap.
In years past, in wars past, that would be enough to make the whole town sit up and take notice. Make them remember and honor their lost dead. These days, it’s hard enough to get people to remember that we’re in a war at all. Is it so much to ask that for a few seconds out of your day, you sacrifice your lulz to remember that people are dying out there?
I just died reading this.
Read: Only soldier deaths matter.
Actually – from the amount of friendly fire deaths, I think that should be “Only US Soldier deaths matter”.
What about all the soldiers without daughters? Or the female soldiers (with or without daughters)? Do they just do it for gits and shiggles?
“Is it so much to ask that for a few seconds out of your day, you sacrifice your lulz to remember that people are dying out there?”
Yes, yes it is.
Gosh Rando…you are so greedy! i mean all you do is look at our lulz and dont even think about the real world…i am glad someone shoved some reality down your throat..
/sarcasm
I’m sick of reality. Reality sucks donkey balls. Internet is more fun.
“What’s reality compared to me?” – Timekiller
VnV: I am stealing that from you..you know that right
“The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.” – D. Adams
“Every soldier has a reason to fight, and for most, that reason is summed up in a face”
Actually I’ve spoken to quite a few soldiers (British and American) and “a loved one” is well down on the list. For many it’s because it’s good pay and they couldn’t get into college.
Hence why marines do much of their recruiting in poorer areas.
This is a comedy site. Not a site for political discussion and propaganda.
So no – there is nothing more important than being funny on this site, because that is what the site is for.
There are plenty of other sites where you (and anyone else) can wax rhapsodic about the military and the glory of killing strangers because someone told you to, but this is a comedy site. So we expect comedy.
(in reply to Kristy, above, huff huff)
I guess “take your kid to work day” might be traumatizing for kids of solders.
…or crack whores. Or slaughterhouse employees. Or attorneys.
-especially- crack whores.
I thought we agreed on “assistant crack whores” for these purposes?
Crack whore trainee? Is that worse?
“Wow, mommy has a lot of friends!”
take your kid to work day for crack whores….
“now sweetie, to slide it all the way in your mouth you need to loose then throat muscles first”
hey, that reminds me of a joke:
What do you call 1,000 attorneys at the bottom of the ocean?
The company “scuba outing” at a very large firm? (It was tragic. They all shorted out their Blackberries.)
I was thinking “L Ron Hubbard’s pool lining” myself.
lol, good answers.
It was from Hook, I think, Robin Williams said it toward the beginning at a conference dinner thing. His answer: “A good start.”
That one also came from the movie Philadelphia.
Really, pittypat, what kind of terrible human being goes to a humor website to laugh? I’m so ashamed of us all.
At least we are so very very fortunate that someone, just one, very very good person cares much, much more than we ever could.
Well now sometimes when we have to spank a child it hurts us more than it hurts them …
daddy always said it would hurt him more then it hurt me….cept he beat bitter troll with broken bottles and planks of wood, closed fists and the heel of his cowboy boot.
He’s a troll daddy…what did you expect?
With all the dramatic and horrible things out there, what business do we have laughing? I’m going to go cry over everyone in the world for the rest of the day, because existence is so traumatic. DAMN YOU EXISTENCE!!!
Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
– Schwarzenegger
Kindergarden Cop
IT’S NOT A TOOMAH!!
Booooooo
Of course she is the reason. If he stays home to raise his daughter, he has to change diapers – not really, what “heros” do…
Greetings with an uneasy smile
If that kid’s still in diapers, there’s a problem.
As a father who has changed hundreds of diapers, I disagree. Hero dads change diapers, dammit!!
Oh jeez more of these kind of ones? Have a heart for those of us outside the US who don’t care that much about the US army and just want some funny captions.
Last time I checked, being condescending =/= being funny.
Aw, you don’t like our new InspiratioLOLs? Good, neither do we.
LOL’s : What have you done today for it..they did more before 5 am then you did all day.
^^Exactly!
*stands and applauds*
Is that little girl digging for a little nose gold? Her daddy be pissed when she wipes a booger on his fatigues.
when will people under stand killing people is bad no matter what the purpose is…. sigh
Thrusday.
“The reason Daddy does what he does.”
Not really. Government lied.
wow, but war is inherently evil, it doesn’t matter who tries to justify it.
Just to get this right…
This is an american soldier
and the girl is his daughter…
What the hell does SHE have to do with war???
Srsly… I still don’t understand the relationship between american people and their war…
She started it.
*crackin’ up*
DAMN YOU SMALL CHILD! MMUUURRRDDDEEERRRR!!!!11!!!!
nothing, she has nothing to do with the war, daddy could not find a babysitter while they invaded so he took her with him
At least he didn’t leave her home alone. Bad things happen when little kids get left alone.
so daddy goes off to war and doesn’t see his daughter for months at a time and causes his daughter to worry about her dad, because he loves her?
Oh my gosh … give us a break,please… this man can be just as well the reason why another girl somewhere else wont see HER daddy again… what´s wrong with you? Who gives you the right to approve killing on YOUR side? With attitude like this it´s just like catching your own tale…
“this man can be just as well the reason why another girl somewhere else wont see HER daddy again”
I approve of this message.
For every flag we salute or burn there is blood on both shores.
Yes… this is exactly what I meant
Word of warning: I was looking on the internet for some more interesting photos to caption…if you’re on a public/work computer or are easily shocked, don’t do a Google image search for “hot soldiers”.
Don’t ask, don’t tell, my ass! LOL. Wow.
*snort*
oh great, now you know at least one pk’r will have to do that search now….
.
.
.
ok, i admit, it’s just me, but still
i saw the story for this picture and it made me cry. my heart goes out to this kid and her family. the mother has another daughter and is pregnant. i hope he comes home safely
So he just comes home and knocks his wife up with another kid after she already has two others, then leaves again?
Might be the last time she ever sees him. And what would he die for? Fake weapons of mass destruction?
How about a fake troll named Morgan?
acculy shes the us militaries secret weapon… terminate with predidice with barbie doll in 3..2..1
The reason Daddy does what, leaves for long periods of time so his baby girl can cry herself to sleep every night? The reason Daddy goes off to kill some other baby girl’s hero? I hate it when men leave their young families for the military. It drives me crazy. If you’re single, or your kids are pretty much grown, fine, but leaving your little one alone? Not only that, but you’re making the mother take care of the little ones by herself, and that isn’t cool either.
I’m not anti-military, just anti-fathers-that-take-off-and-leave-their-little-kids-when-there-is-really-not-an-immediate-threat-at-hand.
Well, the other pics that I saw manage to make me laugh, but this pic simply touch me to the bottom of my heart. I’m pretty sure if there is ajoke, it’s lost on me. But then again, that picture carries familial love all over its surface, so I don’t think anyone can be successful creating a joke out of it.
Because it’s buried up there somewhere and says my say quite well I stole this and am re-posting it here, grammatically corrected for my enjoyment.
Aivlis says:
October 21, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Daddy helps to support illegal occupations and the killing of many innocent people so that you can continue to be a privileged and ignorant American who doesn’t have to dirty their own hands [or beautiful minds, with such things, similar to Barbara Bush's attitude and remarks].
Save them a moment of typing, Lev2013orSTFU, and answer the questions:
Yes. I’m a Vietnam-era veteran with an honorable discharge from the U.S. Army. I served in the U.S. and overseas.
Yes. I know why people enlist, and I know the job. It is NOT heroic. It is very hard work. Unlike most jobs the chances of dying are higher, but then the constant adrenaline buzz and bizarre lifestyle falsely make that fact seem like a benefit of the job.
No nation threatens the U.S. as a nation. No nation we stop arming is a threat to us. We have simply GOT to stop killing people all over this world for such pathetically made-up excuses when it is all about the money and power GAMES of those living above it all.
^ this. Infinity times this.
LOL Yall need to stfu, daddies are half the reason some of you are here and soldiers are all of the reason why our country is safe, well nearly all