JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES
Going further than ever
What is happening in the picture? Tell us in the Comments
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: MindCore via Poster Builder
-
-
Copy & paste this:
Show Only: Democrats | Republicans | Media | Military
« Previous I HOPE | NERDS Next »
JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES
» 170 comments
Leave a Reply
-
Recent Comments
has on Money Shot Lllll. on Paint By Poll Numbers Marilyn Foster on Vandals Cashing In Steampunkette on Gay Rights: Coming to a Theate… Steampunkette on Gay Rights: Coming to a Theate… imnotreallyhere on What About the Underdog? imnotreallyhere on Today on Maury imnotreallyhere on Today on Maury imnotreallyhere on Day One By Jimmy Kimmel 'Nuther Guest on I Don’t See It…… 
Cheezburger Company BlogPrint on Demand
More I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
I Can Has Cheezburger? - Lolcats n Funny Pictures
Daily Squee: Squee Spree - Fluffy Loris Climber
Lolcats - Lolcats n' Funny Cat Pictures
Q: What do you get when you cross a tribble with a piranha?
I Has A Hotdog - Loldogs n Cute Puppies
You talk big for such a tiny puppy....
Animal Capshunz - All of the Internet's Animals. Captioned
Hurry, This One Won't Last Long
Animal Videos - Cute and Hilarious Animal Videos
Dill Pickles the Dwarf Kitten
Animal Gifs - Cute and Hilarious Animal Gifs
Oh, Look, A Chimp. AH, LOOK AT THE CHIMP.
Daily Squee - So cute your brain might explode.
You Don't Say!
Historic LOLs - Captioned Portraits of Yore
That Parrot is Hammered
My Food Looks Funny - Funny Food Photos
Never Chew Again!
So Much Pun - Visual Puns and Jokes
Teabaggin'
ROFLrazzi - Lol Celebs and All That's Fab Funny in Showbiz
The Diabetic Demon
Totally Looks Like - Stuff That Looks Like Other Stuff
Al Harrington of the Denver Nuggets Totally Looks Like Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Must Have Cute - See. Want. Must Have!
Panda Bling
If Style Could Kill - OMG Style!
Ring of the Day: Killer Whale, Dude
Lovely Listing - Strange Findings in Real Estate Listings
Winchester Mystery House
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-94wNw88f65Rhk.gif?labels=MTVN%20Digital%20Tribes\")
Wow, they are persistent. And as soon as you close the door, here come the girl scouts.
I guess the guy on the right has a big knapsack full of the ‘Watchtower’.. laminated to make it hard to tear.
I think we had a very similar LOL to this about the Girl Scouts. But you can’t rip on the GS ‘cos they have COOKIES!!!!!
Yeah, the God Squad would do a lot better if they brought cookies. Or maybe hash brownies. I could believe all sorts of stuff after a few of those..
“So Jesus drove into Jerusalem in a Corvette? That’s badass! Christianity is awesome!”
Yay! Tithe me up, dude!
“Dude, Jesus said I’m supposed to love everyone…man I can get down with that. Imma start with that hottie that lives across the hall. Hey, you got any more brownies?”
Funny thing that Keithy, about 8 or 9 years ago a Melbourne man received a 2 month suspended sentence for inviting a couple of mormons into his home and offering them milk and cookies. Problem was the plate of cookies were hash cookies
The man was lauded as a hero by non-mormons because for a number of years afterwards mormons and JW’s voluntarily banned themselves from door knocking.
For tips on how to deal with door knckers read this
htt p://stubbyholder.blogspot.com/2007/03/how-to-scare-away-mormons-and-other.html
Aw man, this reminds me of my buddy Keith. One time, we made a bumper-car ride thing with 2 riding mowers. Major larcerations over 90% of his body. I didn’t even hit him! Somehow, he fell under HIS OWN MOWER!
-D’ya know Djesus?
-No.
-*bam bam bam bam*
Here’s how to deal with them.
{http://comixed.com/2009/10/14/comics-comic-strip-yonkoma-door-to-door/}
He’s always in the shower when they come by and gets mad if I disturb him.
I will point out that when I send this as an emailed LOL the text on the image comes up “JEHOVA WITNESSES”. Was it corrected in the interim? In any case, it should be “JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES”, as they are witnesses of Jehovah. Not that I subscribe to their beliefs or anything, but apostrophes are among the most abused bits of punctuation ever…
Second only to the ellipsis. Is that spelled right? I spelled it two different ways and Firefox liked both.
The spelling of gods’ names are about as consistent as the views people attribute to them.
Did he just say Jehova? Stone him! No, wait, er…
The second challenge is the word of God. Only in the footsteps of God will he proceed. The word of God. Proceed in the footsteps of the word.
But Jehovah starts with an I.
What, like an Igod?
I am escaped with the skin of my teeth.
The Book of Steve Jobs, 19. 20
Merrily, merrily he said unto them saying merrily, merrily for I am come. And he took their shoes and walked away with them!
Ibid. 21 . 22
When Eve saw that the Apple was good and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some.
The Wizard of Mac OS 3:5-7
Ah yes, children. A homily comes to mind. I am reminded of the story of the priest who underwent a sect change and became a nun.
Sects, sects, sects! That’s all you priests ever think about!
Rumor has it they also like surprise buttsects..
And if she makes a habit of it, they’ll collar a transvestmentite.
Alb me, I can’t take it!! I’m being altared!
Have you lost your incenses!?!!??
*shakes brak by the chapels*
when will you all learn to bow down and worship bitter troll like charro does….charro why are you laughing?
But of course I worship you, in the name of the slather, the fun, and the holy underwear, I mean.
underwear?
crotchless?
no bitter troll has a crotch
huh, and I thought you were a crotchety, bitty troll.
bitter BITTER
No silly, it’s iGod.
That’s EYEgor!
Froedrich.
He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Vould you like a roll in za hay?
frau blucher!
-thunder and horses panic-
Damn your eyes!!
2nd Infantry Division spreading the good word.
I thought we’d already established beyond all reasonable doubt that these were Jehovah’s Witnesses? Don’t go bringing your so-called facts to the discussion.
But they’re Belgian….
AND SOCIALISTS!!!!!
MUUURRRDDDEEERRRREEERRRRSSSS!!!!
The people in the pic are not jahovaswitnnesis
I caught that too. They could have at least photoshopped out the 2ID patch and put a crucifix in or something.
They could have, but I think that might be getting a tad obsessive with the LOL making. LOL
they don’t believe in the cross anyway. it is the symbol of the god Tammuz, a pagan belief.
That’s why I included the “or something.” Didn’t care to do the research.
From the movie where the marines massacre all those civilians, right? Battle of Habitha or somthing..
Shhh. You killing the funneh. You must leave now. NOW!
Jehovah’s Witnesses
Winning the War on Christmas
Careful…that sounds mighty Capitalist!
*yelling* “Get Down On The Ground!” “Heres a pamphlet!” *soft* “do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?”
(lmao)
it’s ridiculous. like the nazi propaganda against jewish. maybe i’m going too far but that is how start hate and prejudice against religious groups.
Way to take a funny and suck all the life out of it. Blah blah we’re so persecuted blah blah picking on christians blah blah jebus is teh reason for teh season blah blah. *sigh* I hope it’s not going to be THAT kind of day.
Care troll cares more than we do, and has really bad grammar and capitalization.
Anyway, they brought it on themselves, going round kicking down peoples’ doors.
They started it by coming to doors with guns.
Stop repeating my comments two minutes earlier! That’s not fair.
Wait, wait, wait. Did you just suggest that a LOL pic on Pundit Kitchen was the genesis of the Nazi hate campaign against the Jews?
hmm, i don’t see a DIRECT connection but it was certainly implied…
hey im a Jehovah’s Witness and it doesnt bother me.. im used to it and tbh i find it rather funny. I got a good laugh outa this 1
Boo to religious solicitation!
Boo to religion by the sword (or gun)!
Boo to solicitation!
Boo to organized religion!
Boo to the gun!
Boo to kicking someone’s door open!
Boo to military invasion!
Boo to this LOL!
‘BOOM!!!’ surely?
Don’t call him surely!
I wasn’t going to call him!
Yah, well, I can telephone-y when I see one.
I feel a disconnect here.
I think he’s trying to cell something.
Nah, he’s just trying to expand his verizon.
geez, you’ve caught me with nothing ATT all to say..
*SPRINTs away.*
Well fine, just avoid that T-Mobile Home park.. tornados like those places y’know.
they should just comcast this picture away!
All this rings a Bell with me somehow.
brak, you can call on bitter troll anytime.
Calling Dr. brak!!
We need a phonecardiologist down here, static!!
Whoa, whoa…let’s dial down the panic.
*Dr. waddles in stage left with an odd bent over kind of gait…big black mustache, glasses, big black cigar* Hello! Hello! The doctor is in! Let me give you something for that cough. Here’s a quarter. I know it’s not much but it’s not much of a cough! Well, good bye-I’m off to the Opera tonight.
*sings his way out*…Hello, I must be going……….
Even though he’s a big groucho, Frank Zeppo thinks he can get all the chicos.
No need to Harpo on it. Mothers always know best…and it’s Absolutely Free.
Oh lord, VNV. It’s too early to be starting this. Don’t you see how many people will be offended by you booing kicking doors down????
I know people believe strongly in the right to kick down doors. But I gotta be me. If you want access, knock three times, then wait. If the Guardian deems you worthy, he will allow you to enter.
I thought you had to answer three questions….
And that is how you prove your worth!
What is the airspeed velocity of a unladen sparrow?
English or African?
I don’t know that. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Access Denied. I guess now you will just have to kick it in. And here we are back to step 1…..
Did you guys not realize this door opens…out?
*walks around Rando and VNV and pulls door open*
One of the best Far Side cartoons: Boy trying to pull open a door that says “Push” under sign reading “Chelwood School for the Gifted.”
Now whenever someone does something obviously stupid, my son and I say, “Chelwood School for the Gifted”!
LOL! I remember that one.. Funny enough, my boys used to go to a school called Chelwood Elementary.
“I know people believe strongly in the right to kick down doors.”
Off topic trivia: When the BBC arrived in Sweden (Ystad, i think) to film their version of the Wallander-books (by Henning Mankell), they rather quickly had to make some changes in the script, because kicking down doors is something that as a rule isn’t done in Sweden. The reason is most doors open outwards, due to fire safety regulations.
Boo to the lol? I agree on everything else, which was why I found the lol mildly funny.
It could have been funny. But when I first saw it all I could think of is “everything is wrong with this!”. It was an impulse response.
Not “duck and cover”?
Oh, wait….wrong picture.
All I need is my lead lined fridge! Oh yeah… wrong picture.
yes especially now with the funding of their saviour stephenie meyer! who can’t write a book about fictional creatures to save her life! go team glitter! buy more books and this WILL happen
You completely lost me on this one.. is she a JW? Does she write the fluff pieces for The Watchtower?
Psst! Think ‘vampires.’
And how do you know what’s in the Watchtower? Eddie’s one of them! *runs to lock doors*
What do you think he uses for fertilizer for that nice big lawn? Sic ‘em, Eddie!
No, no, I’m not, really guys! My in-laws are, but really I’m not..
*Sits in the corner hiding his Awake! magazine*
Eddies a watchtower?
Or is she a fluffer for the JW super secret cinema division?
A little lost myself…Meyer’s LDS, not JW.
I think Ashley has A LOT of angst against that woman and her books, to the point that Meyer’s religion is irrelevant.
Uhm, wrong religion. She’s a Mormon.
And I was tooooo slow! I thought so, but I wanted to google and factcheck myself first.
Apparently that horrible series is pure Mormon “propaganda”. I guess you could call it her evangelical mission.
I’ve never been even remotely tempted to read those. Funny story, though — one of my guy’s buddies picked the first one up to read, apparently expecting something totally different. He wanted vampire fights, and plowed on through the turgid romance, only to learn that “When they finally got into a fight, and it looked like it was going to get good, the girl gets knocked unconscious and the story picks up again when she wakes up at the hospital!” Cracked my ass up.
Never read them and never will and, if I had my way, Meyers would be punished for unleashing this sh1t that she calls writing on the world. However, I did read the “Sparkledammerung” by a former member of the LDS (link in my name). It’s fvckin hilarious. She dissects all the books. Very interesting and I NEVER have to read the series.
I read the first one to have a first-hand experience of the terror, the better to criticize it. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought–not good by any means, but far from the trash I thought it was–but it did have one gem that I will remember for the rest of my life: “Mr. Banner shoved the tape into the reluctant VCR…”
How very… evangelical.
I’m sure that euphemism will come in handy one day.
I heard there is unforgiveable word abuse in the books, as per your VCR example.
That was the only truly unforgivable one I saw, of course I was trying really really hard not to look for reasons to hate the book. That one jumped out and slapped me so hard I was shocked I hadn’t already seen it floating around the interwebs.
Just let me add how happy I am that I have a teenage *son*, not a daughter, so I don’t have to read them! I actually did consider it so that I could talk to the ‘not-girlfriend,’ but fortunately we found other things to talk about and I was saved! (But not by the JWs.)
My girls are 18, 21, and 23, and as far as I can tell have no interest.
I know women, twice your daughters’ ages, who are obsessed and swoony over this crap, over Edward. Eeeewwww. It’s super creepy.
I’m 20 and not thrilled, not planning to read the sequels. My aunt has two of the books by her bed, an at least one woman at my mother’s office has the “New Moon” release marked on her calendar. Super creepy indeed.
Ugh. James Pattison looks like the epitome of the angsty teenager! And they thinks it’s hot?
Sorry, Shorty, but I saw this on somebody’s blog and laughed my a$$ off:
To everyone anxiously awaiting the new Twilight movie…
Enjoy your weirdo Mormon rape fantasy!
no, the weirdo pseudo rape doesn’t happen til book 4. this one just has lots of native american good looking guys* running around shirtless… a lot. i’m ok with that.
* – this does not include the 16 year old white boy who is playing jacob. he’s not cute anyway…
I didn’t really like the movie as much as the book. Bits of it just seemed far to cheesy. I went with a friend to see it last year and we spent most of the movie giggling like school girls. At all the wrong parts. If we hadn’t gone while most school girls were still in school there’s a good chance they would have lynched us at the end of the move.
Also, I didn’t like the way he glittered. I think he glitters better in my imagination.
Erk, sorry, I knew he was robert….I did…theres just a big author named james patterson and I tend to get the names mixed up.
I think that’s who the target audience is. My daughter – who is now 17 – read the first one at 15 (I think?) and was not impressed. At all.
I read the first one, too and she lost me at the sparkles. WTF? Bram Stoker is spinning in his grave. Dracula was a creepy ass book especially read in a strange, dark apartment all alone. Try it!
Well, if so, then Meyer failed spectacularly at it. Her books were pulled from Deseret Book (which is, for all intents and purposes, the Mormon bookstore chain).
I never said she was any good at it (or at actual writing).
I have a confession to make…..I actually *mumble mumble*-ed the books.
Please don’t kill me.
/cowers in her shrubbery
You edit the books?
You fed the books?
You developed the marketing strategy for the books?
Yes…yes…it’s true! Do almost no advertising until the last book and first movie come out. Then flood the market with adds and merchandise I told them! And look! It worked! Brilliant! Mwahahaha!
We got magnets, posters, wall scrolls, messenger bags, key chains galore, stickers, chocolate, message hearts and more! And the best part is we can release it all for each movie. We slapped some turquise on the jewelry with Jacobs picture and are calling it native american!
Well- I know why Obama doesn’t pray. You can’t read a teleprompter with your eyes closed !
( Or kneeling on a mat and praying towards Mecca…)
*points and laughs at TheOne for being such a big stupid douche*
I didn’t know the “Idiot Douche Marathon” was on the PK channel.
Guess who’s winning so far. *points just past Froo’s shoulder*
It was a special series that was only supposed to run for a week. The programming guys must have forgotten to take the tape out, so now we are getting the repeats.
And unfortunately there are no parental controls for it.
Given that it’s a basement production, the parent company isn’t aware.
Funding wasn’t a problem until he got grounded and lost his allowance.
And Hot Pockets..
Well, often prayer doesn’t work. I keep praying your computer explodes but it doesn’t happen.
bitter troll keeps praying for a sandwich…it has yet to appear
*ding dong! ‘Somebody here order a footlong?’*
Apparently you’re not doing it right. Real believers get to use God like a genie. Neat, huh?
so we rub his belly and he leads us to a pot of gold at the end of the unicorn rainbow
Rub his belly? Like the St. Louis Billiken?
Remember: If your sports team doesn’t win it means YOU didn’t pray hard enough.
so the browns must have a lot of athiest or REALLY BAD catholic fans? can we use that as an excuse rather than the fact that we’ve got a non-existant offensive line and all of our QBs suck ass?
No, what it means is I actually tuned in to watch.
HOW did the Broncos lose to the Redskins/ HOW??!??!?!
My sister is one of them, and I know for a fact that it’s “Wit-LESSes”!
Right now, there are 666 votes on this lol.
Coincidence? You decide.
666 is exactly twice 333, which is 3 3′s in a row! I smell a conspiracy!
But wait! In just 33 more votes(as of this posting) the number of votes will be 777! God and Satan are working together for the Jehovah’s Witnesses! ZOMG!!!1!1!!!212!!!
I think the 666 should apply to a large number of rather disgusting and offensive LOLs I just saw on the voting page. OMG they weren’t only not funny, they were repulsive.
There are hundreds of thousands of Jehovah’s Witnesses worldwide who have endured prison, torture, and death because it is against their principles to be part of any military. Over 1,600 Jehovah’s Witnesses died in Nazi concentration camps—the Nazis even made a special arm patch as they did for the Jews to identify them as enemies of the state. And, besides, anyone brave enough to ring my doorbell deserves some respect!
Why, is your doorbell electrified or something?
I salut you sir!
ty =) and if you think about it, less of us died then then those people that actually went to war. And door knockin is pretty scary sometimes but also extremely fun.
J.E.N.O.V.A. s WITNESS!!!!!
Final Fantasy 7 FTW!
Now that’s what I cal “Special Pioneers!”
LOL!
im Jehovah’s witness me no like
I’m a wittness and me likes.
It really didn’t even need the subcaption. Just “‘Jehovah’s Witness’” would’ve been better
thats not funny