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Wal-mart greeters learn the hard way that when their break is over, their break is over!
Those fellows are weird anyway.
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Picture by: dunno source Caption by: lyds1012 via Advanced Lol Builder
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Or don’t work on black friday…
Which one is Rando?
I don’t see him in the picture.. he probably had a premonition of impending doom and beat everybody back in.
Rando works at Sears, they don’t get breaks at all.
One of our managers was really sick last Wednesday. The store manager wouldn’t let her go home. She ended up in the ICU and almost died. Retail is dangerous.
Wow.
I assume she’ll be pursuing legal action?
Believe it or not, no. But that’s because she didn’t have to go to the hospital until right after getting home. Got home from work, passed out. Combination of complications from dehydration, diabetes, and the flu.
Much to my surprise, when she finally came back, she was actually worried about getting fired for missing work. I said that if they dared fire her (they didn’t; they’re not that stupid), she’d have a slam dunk case against them. I’m not surprised. I’m pretty sure the store manager is an android.
I had a colleague who walked around all bent over for a week from pain, even though various people told her to go home/to a doctor…including her boss. She finally went to the doctors–and he shipped her directly to the hospital for surgery for a ruptured appendix. I think my colleague is also an android.
Rando, your store manager is an idiot, and someone should point out to him/her that if your colleague had sued, the store manager would have been toast. Me, I think he/she deserves to get sued!
That’s retail for you.
I haven’t worked in retail in thirty years, but all these stories are why I sort of get a little angry, a little sick and a little amused when I read the comic strip “Retail”. Because I now work in an office, I have the same reaction reading “Dilbert”. Come onnnnnnn, retirement.
I wish I could say that! *shakes bitter fist* Oh, sorry BT. *places bitter’s fist back where she found it and then proceeds to wash her hands*
I’ve been in retail for 10 long years with only a couple small breaks in between (worked at a doctor’s office for 6 months and stayed home with the kids for 6 months). I lump my year and a half as a shift leader at Jack in the Box as retail. It’s the same concept to me.
Fvck retail.
Obviously you’ve never been to the Borders book store in the gaslamp district. If you had you would definitely not recommend fscking that. I don’t even want to know how many diseases you could get from that.
Default, do you live in San Diego?
I do.
Well then hi, neighbor!
*sticks top half of her head above the fence line* Hidey-ho neighborino!
Makes the food service industry sound like a bunch of kittens.
She would have died from a ruptured appendix ~ obviously NOT true.
A ruptured appendix will not necessarily kill you right away. You can live for a bit of time in extreme pain while the infection sets in.
sheesh sounds safer to go hunting with dick cheney
On Vladurday.
There have been a lot of lol-funny lols on ICHC and IHAH recently, imo!
Ok, this one made me laugh!
Me too!
Much better than the tripe we’ve seen lately.
And news-worthy in that Walmart just settled in Mass for depriving employees of breaks and overtime pay.
“in Mass”-achusetts? Or “en masse”? Hee hee hee.
Yup! Unfortunately, Walmart can more than afford the settlement, and the individuals won’t get that much…but this all assumes that the state courts will approve the agreement. I personally think they should NOT, and should put Walmart against a wall. For one, it gives Walmart an unfair financial advantage when compared to companies that try to follow the law!
Fvck Walmart!
This is so full of fu(king epic win! The funneh briefly shows it’s face in PK! Woot!
I particularly enjoy that the two baton waving soldiers on the left are in the exact same position.
Robot enforcer agents at Walmart – I think so.
Funny? FUNNY? You think the torture of innocent retail workers is FUNNY?! How DARE you, Ivan!!!!!!!
-waterboards rando- dont know what all the hippies was crying about, this is a hoot!
*provides Rando with a snorkel and mask*
-pours water down the snorkle-
** snorkle made out of 100% pure snork
*spits out snorkel* Hey, can you pour some beer down there? Thanks. *puts snorkel back on*
-tinkles down the snorkle- teehee
*flails wildy*
I said beer, not Miller Lite!
*flails arms wildLy*
Wow, was that post a fail.
-sighs and pours some beer down the hole- happy?
Sure. BTW, your pee tastes like Miller Lite.
*giggles helplessly*
*chortles cheerfully*
*guffaws loudly*
*cries mournfully*
I dare because it’s FUNNY, brother.
Hmph! NOW where’s that compassionate conservative? Hmmmmm?
Sometimes it’s compassionate to punish. You might, for example, punish a child who reaches to touch a hot stove. Or, you might beat a liberal within an inch of their life for their own good. If you don’t, they could grow up to vote for a commie with no experience or accomplishments, who believes only in himself and is obviously in over his head. That would certainly merit frequently repeated compassionate beatings.
Sounds very compassionate, very Christian. Clearly explaining to a child that the stove is hot would not work. Child must be punished. Must spend time with priests.
One of the Opus Dei Catholic types?
Christianity has worked well for 2000 years, they must be on to something. And yes, I did spend a lot of time with priests, as an altar boy, lector, usher, K of C. They are wonderful people. I probably would not have the dedication necessary to be part of Opus Dei, but I certainly admire them.
Christianity has worked well for 2000 years!?! Like when the Roman Catholics and Greek Orthodox popes went around ex-communicating each other? Or when the Roman Catholic Church had multiple popes at the same time. Then there was the Spanish Inquisition, that worked wonderfully. Of course there was also the persecution of those who were christian but the wrong denomination. I’m sorry, surviving by any bloody and gruesome means necessary and working well are not the same thing.
Catholics could not have excommunicated from other churches, because Catholics were never part of those churches. The Orthodox, on the other hand, could be excommunicated, because they had been part of the Catholic Church and under the authority of the Pope. When they finally broke away, they did not have a Pope they had Patriarchs.
The Spanish Inquisition was a great step forward for human rights. It gave the accused rights, defenders, and a just process to go through when they were accused. It required two individuals to accuse any other individual and penalized false accusations, sometimes with death. It provided for panels of learned and just men to declare the accused guilty or innocent. It was merciful. And it rarely applied capital punishment.
Uh. Wow. You sure about that?
Denial. It isn’t just a river in Egypt.
*gasp* It’s not?!
I’m not even sure how to respond to this one. I just wouldn’t even know where to begin. I have devout Catholic friends who think the Spanish Inquisition was a terrible terrible blight on their religions history. They would never use the words merciful, just or the phrase ‘step forward for human rights’ to describe it. I’m just gonna go swim in that river because I’m in denial that someone could even consider the possibility that the inquisition was a good thing.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.. To be merciful!
DU: Catholics are like everybody else, very few of them have enough interest in the matter to look into it. I looked into it because of what I had heard, and I came to my own conclusions about it.
Yep, thousands would go through the process of the inquisition and only after a rather lengthy time could you ever be found guilty of anything. It gave those involved plenty of time to leave Spain, and 160,000 of the 5 million or so Jews who were in Spain did leave. Historians estimate that approximately 1 percent ever ended up in an autos de fe. In Barcelona, for example, there were 31 autos de fe in 10 years. Out of 888 accusations, 10 persons were strangled and burned. 13 were burned alive, 15 were burned dead, and 430 were burned in effigy (they had fled). 304 were given penance and told to sin no more. This at a time when the Mohammedans sacked one city and killed 11,000.
The head of the Spanish inquisition, Torquemada, was of Jewish descent.
Ah yes. Strangulation and burning, and burning alive are indeed merciful.
In the context of the time, yes. Strangulation was considered a mercy that the condemned could take advantage of before begin burned, and some did. But it has to be viewed in the context of the time, this was at a time when a King or Queen made fiat judgments and there was no appeal. When 3000 slaves might be sacrificed to celebrate a favorable morning. The persons who were condemned were conversos, Jews who had become Catholics, often Catholic clergy and were leading the faithful astray. Endangering their souls. These same conversos also undermined the authority of the King and Queen. The Spanish were living on the frontier of civilization with the constant threat of invasion by the Moors. They showed much more mercy than their enemies would have ever shown them.
I can’t believe you are actually defending the Spanish Inquisition jim. Are you trolling or do you actually believe this?
I guess I am. Inquisitions were among the beginnings of the idea of rights, process, and temperance that characterize our judicial system today.
You guess you are trolling, or you guess you believe the Spanish Inquisition is worth defending.
I would like to add that the reason the church allowed people to flee the country rather than face the inquisition was because then all their property was forfeited to the church. That’s also why people refused to confess under torture — if you confessed, all your property was forfeited and your family was destitute. The number of people who died because of losing all their possessions is not counted in jim’s figures.
Also, it doesn’t matter what anyone else did, then or before or after. Nor if Torquemada had Jewish blood. That has nothing to do with the validity of the Inquisition.
As for Christianity working well for 2000 years: sure, unless one was one of the many killed for refusing to convert or for belonging to the wrong sect. That’s a bit like saying Jim Crow laws worked well for white people.
It is not trolling to disagree. I look back to that time to see why they did what they did. I ask if it was unreasonable, did it further justice? Given the time and the place, I conclude it was just. The Spanish do to. Would it be done the same way today, no. There would be no need. The Spanish feared the Moors and feared for their eternal souls. I don’t underestimate their fear. How many have sacrificed everything to save their souls? In the Sopranos, Pauly wonders if he will be a stand-up guy when his time comes. I wonder that too. Would I be a stand-up guy if my life was at stake? What would I be willing to sacrifice to save my soul. I look back on Christians of that era and have nothing but awe and respect for them.
There were many many other terrible, barbaric things going on all over the world at that time, nothing compared to the Inquisition. You can’t blame Christianity for the cruelty of man to man any more than you can blame the US for slavery. Cruelty and barbarism, it’s a human thing.
*throws hands up in disgust*
I hate it when people read what I write and then completely misinterpret it. It pisses me off.
Mabsba: It’s a matter of proportion and context. It’s difficult for me to criticize the inquisition for 5000 deaths over 300 years, when this country is responsible for 50,000,000 deaths by abortion in 35 years.
The abortion issue was a thread on another LOL entirely and no one is torturing those Fetus’s into confessing things they haven’t even done just to kill them for it later.
No, this is good. Obviously Rwanda, Bosnia, Dachau — none of them are actually ‘bad’ because they don’t involve unborn babies. So I think I will become a serial killer. As long as I don’t kill any pregnant women, I’m home free. (The women don’t matter, but the unborn babies….) /sarcasm (however, this is a valid logical conclusion from what jim said)
Torture was used, but its use was restricted by the Pope and by the inquisitors. Many of the Jews that fled Spain went to Rome to live under the protection of the Pope and continued to conspire against the King and Queen of Spain. But only 160,000 of 5,000,000 Jews left Spain, which indicates to me that they did not fear for their lives or property, either of which the Queen could have taken at any time as she pleased. Many of those who fled Spain for Africa returned after receiving less hospitality at the hands of Islam.
The Inquistion, let’s begin
The Inquistion, look out sin
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew ja Jew ja Jew ja Jews)
We’re gonna teach them wrong from right
We’re gonna help them see the light
And make an offer that they can’t refuse (that the Jews just can’t refuse)
Confess (confess, confess)
Don’t be boring
Say yes (say yes, say yes)
Don’t be dull
A fact
you’re ignoring:
it’s better to lose your skullcap than your skull
The Inquistion, what a show
The Inquistion, here we go
We know you’re wishing
That we’d go away
But the Inquistion’s here and it’s here to stay
The Inquistion, oh boy
The Inquistion, what a joy
The Inquistion, oy oy
I was sitting in a temple
I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass
Then these papus persons plunge in, and they throw me in a
dungeon, and they shove a red hot poker up my ass
Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight
I’m sitting, plucking chickens and I’m looking through the pickings and suddenly these guys bring down my balls
I didn’t even know them and they grabbed me by the scrotum and they started playing ping pong with my balls
Oy, the agony
Ooh, the shame
To make my privates public for a game
The Inquistion, what a show
The Inquistion, here we go
We know you’re wishing
That we’d go away
But the Inquistion’s here and it’s here to –
- Hey, Torquemada, whaddaya say?
I just got back from the auto-da-fé
Auto-da-fé, what’s an auto-da-fé?
It’s what you oughtn’t to do but you do anyway
Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day
Will you convert?
No, no, no, no
Will you confess?
No, no, no, no
Will you revert?
No, no, no, no
Will you say yes?
No, no, no, no
Now I ask in a nice way, I said pretty please, I bent their ears,
now I’ll work on their knees!
Hey, Torquemada, walk this way
We got a little game that you might wanna play
So pull that handle, try your luck
Who knows, Torq, you might win a buck!
Alright!
Put it in the car (in the car x2)
How we doing? Any converts today?
Not a one, nay, nay, nay
We’ve flattened their fingers
We branded their buns
Nothing is working
Send in the nuns!
The Inquistion, what a show
The Inquistion, here we go
We know you’re wishing
That we’d go away
So, c’mon you Moslems and you Jews
We got big news for all of yous
You better change your point of views today
‘Cause the Inquistion’s here and it’s here to stay
WIN!
@Mabsba: I was somewhat agreeing with jim up to this point. In historical context racism was considered a virtue at that time, the fact that is considered repugnant now is just a matter of the moral growth of western culture.
He is more or less correct that it represented an advancement of society in that it was the first primitive attempt at due process, although its goals and methods were contemptible by modern standards.
Many ugly periods in human history can be seen as major evolutionary points. Napoleon for example was one of the first dictators to implement something akin to Rule of Law, and even (at the risk of Godwining my self) Hitler can be credited to some degree of demonstrating intelligent investment in trade generating public works (The Autobahn for example) can reverse even prolonged depression, even without a major revenue generating war. I’m not saying that these things justify the atrocities committed in these cases, nor do I believe that the Inquisition is really the most shining example of Christian morality. However that was not his point. His argument appeared to be that the Inquisition is generally portrayed as a far more heinous act than it really was considering contemporary cultural values.
However I would have to agree his attempt at ‘putting the numbers in perspective’ has taken his argument in an unfortunate direction. The moral issues surrounding abortion and those surrounding the Inquisition are primarily unrelated, and the numbers mean very little in the context given as the massive population difference is uncorrected for (not that I particularly agree with his stance on abortion, but I’m more concerned with the fact he went from a relatively reasonable logical position to an emotional, rhetorical argument… bad form in my opinion)
Hey, Green Canuck! Yes, Jim generally ends up talking about all the dead unborn babies. I also find it annoying that one can’t have a logical discussion about something without suddenly being subjected to this emotional “But they didn’t kill unborn babies” argument.
But I’m a mathematician, married to a physicist. I like logic. (Yesterday I told my friend that I had just as much proof for the existence of Santa as she had for the existence of her god. She thought it was a hoot. That’s why she’s my friend.
)
I’m an IT with a bachelors in general science (Mainly mathematics, sub streams in electrical engineering and computer science) and another in philosophy. My wife is a junior high math teacher. Formal logic and debate are a passion of mine.
I have to say though, I didn’t expect a discussion on the Spanish Inquisition… but then no one expects the Spanish Inquisition
It reminds me of the people who say the Holocaust had good things come of it as we got great advances in medicine and science.
Though, I don’t think that means the Holocaust was a GOOD THING.
I would like to point out, however, that perhaps 500 years from now, someone will be saying “You know, it’s a good thing that Americans killed those 50million+ unborn babies, if they hadn’t there would have been massive overpopulation and famines, a horrible overtaxing of our infrastructure and resources. Good on them.”
Though I’m sure that jim won’t agree to that.
Ya think?
Seriously, you can find a silver lining in everything, no matter how horrible, but it’s always good to check that it’s not just shiny pewter.
Jim, I don’t intend for this comment to come across as an accusation that you are ‘wrong’, but I am quite curious to what sources/ historians you would put those numbers for the Spanish Inquisition. Remember, history (and the records used to document it) are written by the winners.
My earlier comment was questioning the role of punishment in your life and your willingness to apply it on others. What punishment would you give to a child that was reaching to touch a hot stove? Hopefully, it is no more than the immediate, and probably quickly discovered pain, of touching a hot stove.
My comment about Opus Dei was a snide remark intended to the stir the pot, given the role of self mutilation and self-righteousness within that group. It seemed to work.
Christianity is not 2000 years old, much less working well for 2000 years. The Christian church that you speak of could have not existed in the way it does today even ‘only’ 1000 years ago. The number of blights on human behavior that can be traced back to excesses of the Catholic church and particularly the politics of the pope (I prefer to call him papa) gives little high ground on most matters.
That the Spanish inquisition did or did not give the rights of due process does not matter. It also does not matter than most individuals were let go. It was still a church sponsored mass murder of individuals from a different religious community. Maybe if the church had kept itself out of politics, rational people might be willing to trust with basic decisions about the modern world.
Charro, I hope you didn’t mean me, my comment was not directed at you, just the conversation in general…
@Charo and Mabsba: I completely agree, that just because there is progress made it doesn’t always justify the means. Certainly there are plenty of examples where the cost to humanity has been far greater than any small advancements to science or civil society.
However in the case of the Inquisition it may well be that the upside is sufficient to at least mitigate the negatives. Relations between Muslims and Christians in that period were quite mutually hostile, and while the Christians may have been playing dirty, one can hardly consider the early Islamic cultures of the era innocent. If it weren’t so tragic one might almost consider it comical that the Jews of the time kept getting caught in the middle, like a three stooges sketch where Larry and Curly are fighting yet some how keep hitting Moe.
I would posit that while the actions, by our current definitions are inexcusable, the development of an ordered and somewhat more precise method of pursuing these ends does in fact show progress toward a more just and equitable society.
@BW: I suppose that depends on what you mean by ‘worked well’ (although your point regarding the 2000yrs vs 1000yrs is valid). If by ‘worked well’ you mean succeeded in developing, promoting, and achieving a system of perfect moral and social order then you are correct, they have failed utterly. The counter argument being no institution where humans are involved ever works to such an absolutist degree of success. If by ‘worked well’ you mean was able to sustain, within a moral framework a cohesive society responsible for a significant degree of the progress for human kind I would say that they have indeed achieved that.
Have there been acts of barbarism, brutal oppression and violent conflict? Certainly. However no belief system (atheism included) or human institution has achieved the ‘moral high ground’ as you put it.
Just wanted to pop this in here – Catholics are not the only Christians. I am Christian and I’m not Catholic. Christians have been around, maybe not as organized, but they have been around since Christ.
I am not positing that any church has a moral high ground. I am positing that the Catholic church by any account does NOT have a moral high ground.
I am not going to get into theoretical alternative universes and etc, but
just imagine all of the human development we would have had with a church that was less politically involved (or something).
@ n00bs – I am just being obnoxiously nit-picky, but even if we accepted the first followers of Christ as Christians, Christianity is not 2000 years old.
I’m not a big fan of organized religion. I find it hard to balance all the bad things done in the name of various religions with the actual teachings they were originally based on. I have heard the argument that the evil done in the name of religion (any of them) far out-weighs the good, and I can see the merit of that argument. Not sure if I agree as it seems a moot argument.
Now, a good book on the Old Testament is “God: A Biography” by Jack Miles. It’s a literary discussion of God as the protagonist of the Old Testament, purely literary without any religious interpretation. Very interesting, IMO, but that might be the English geek surfacing.
How horrible of my internet etiquette. No, n00bs, I didn’t mean to refer to you in any of my posts.
Oh, and Green Beard, it’s “charro”. Two “r”‘s.
Oh, that does sound interesting! *adds that to her excessively long list of books to read*
I think you may like Karen Armstrong’s A History of God. It traces the origins of the old and new testament linking the historical contexts to the particular authors. It does a nice job of putting many of the books in the new testament in historical perspective, given that many of the books did not emerge until well after Jesus’ death.
Not a big fan of organized religion myself. I do like the pastafarians though.
Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE actual books, have many, many, manys books, but just thought I’d mention that Miles’ book is available on audio. *hangs head in shame* By the time I read everything my son is reading, I only have time to listen to other stuff.
Well, for the most part. Except the Odyssey, which I’m re-reading. And the World of Mathematics, which is really long. And a very strange book on why some people eat pigs and some don’t. Okay, I should probably see if I can type and listen to my current audio book at the same time or I’ll never finish anything.
Charro – whew!
Bitter – Hmmm, I don’t know why you say that? Christianity has to be as old as His original followers, no?
Pastafarians are wonderful! I myself am a member of a number of unusual religions including one my friend created in highschool which she calls Avi-ism(as in avian). It’s central deity is the ducky god, commonly represented as a yellow rubber duck (we are reasonably certain that Ernie of Sesame Street is a follower).
Jesus was 33-ish when he died. He started preaching in his late 20s. We are almost to 2000 years. Just a decade or so off.
I see, you really ARE nit picking!
Okay, now that I’ve read this Spanish Inquisition bit, I’m pretty sure that jim has completely lost his goddamn mind. “The pope limited the torture.” Oh, that’s okay then. “Strangulation was considered a mercy.” Yes, if someone strangled me, I’d feel that was very merciful. Do you guys believe me now that jim is completely off his freaking rocker?
Um, two points: first, why do you think I wandered off to write instead of reading it all? Second, you didn’t JUST figure that out, did you?
Do YOU know what an internet ninja is?
Got your back on this one Rando.
Oh…and may you all be touched by His Noodley Appendage!
No, I didn’t just figure it out, but I was absolutely floored this time. I’ve never seen anyone defend the Inquisition before. I’ve seen people defend him because he’s “funny.” Yeah, defend THAT!
Well, no matter what you think of him, he is interesting. Who would have imagined this huge back and forth Spanish Inquisition thread on a Walmart lol. Only on PK…
Until today I had thought there was hope for him, that we could teach him not all democrats are the spawn of hell and Rush Limbaugh is a twat. I have lost this hope though. It is gone forever.
Not me, Rando. I NEVER defended him. He is a nut-case that manages to hid his nuttiness in some situations. The truth will out, I say! And don’t correct my sentance please. The correct phrase IS “The truth will out”.
That really depends on your point of view.
The Orthodox Schism was over a point of contention between the Eastern and Western Roman Empires (Which had divided in around 395CE when Theodosius I left half the Empire to each of his sons, Arcadius in the East and Honorius in the west).
Technically the Eastern church had never been under the command of the Bishop of Rome (ie. the Pope) and took orders from the Emperor him self, as did the Pope until the the power of the Imperial Throne had waned to the point that the power of the church had superseded the power of the throne.
Supremacy of the Bishop of Rome, and Papal Infallibility had yet to enter in the doctrine of either branch of the Holy Catholic Church, as such when Pope Leo IX attempted to push his authority as historical leader of the church, there was no strict legal or doctrinal basis for it, merely a few centuries of precedent.
As for The Inquisition, you are correct for the most part, however 1080 executions out of 44674 trials still seems… somewhat excessive.
In the Catholic Church the Supremacy of the Bishop of Rome goes back to Peter, the holder of the Keys to the Kingdom. Similarly the doctrine of Papal Infallibility goes back to the promise of Christ to be with the Church to the end of the age. The Dogmas were not declared until much later, as there was never a need to declare them. It is only when a contention over this or that doctrine threatens the Church that Dogma is made.
All the original Patriarchs were ordained by Peter, hence all were directly in the succession of authority from him. The Patriarch of Rome was considered ‘symbolic’ of Peter as he was closest to the seat of true power in the Empire.
At this point in history the Emperor was considered to be the ‘Christ with us’, and thus infallible.
Please don’t misunderstand, I do not disagree or wish to state an opinion on the correctness of either side, I am nearly attempting to look at the historical context of the schism, as both sides have slightly different interpretations of what happened
Well, I’ll repeat it as best I understand it from the Catholic point of view. Within the Church there was and is only one head, the Pope. Jesus chose the apostles, who then spread over the known world and began communities of believers with their own lines of succession. All priests can be traced back to an apostle, but not necessarily to Peter. All Catholics, however, recognize the authority of Rome because that is where Peter was, and Peter had been given the Keys to the Kingdom. The Pope is infallible only regarding the transmission of the true faith in its entirety, otherwise he is an ordinary sinful man.
I appreciate your clarification. My understanding is that according to the Eastern Orthodox Church, while many lesser priests and bishops were ordained by authority of the other apostles, the 12 Patriarchs, while each representative of a specific apostle were in fact all ordained by Peter and hence each had the full authority of the church (I may be mistaken on that point, however that is the tradition as explained to me).
Likewise the Emperor was considered infallible regarding pronouncements of the faith. In his roll as leader of the secular states he was a simple, sinful mortal, albeit ruling by divine right, but in pronouncements of the faith, his word was the word of God and had been considered such since the conversion of Constantine I.
If I’m not mistaken, the Catholic Church was the one who split from the Orthodox Church, which traces its lineage of Patriarchs back to an original disciple (Either Peter or Paul, I can’t remember). It was in 1054, at a convention of all the Patriarchs of the time, that the Roman Patriarch (who would later become known as the Pope) and some others decided they wanted an “addendum” added to the Nicene Creed. Up until this point, the Nicene Creed ended just before the words “We believe in the Holy Spirit, ….”. There was a quarrel between the Roman Patriarch and the other 11 Patriarchs which resulted in the Schism and the Holy Roman Catholic Church.
Yes, you are mistaken. Peter was the first head of the Catholic Church and the term Catholic was in use by the 4th century. So when the Orthodox split from the Catholic Church and from the authority of the Pope, they began calling themselves Orthodox.
It is not exactly that the GLM is mistaken. The Orthodox and Catholic churches both claim that the other is the split off. The history of this period is not as clear, or as well documented as you seem to think it is. The patriarch of Rome was considered the heir to Peter or Paul, but even that link is tenuous if you look at the historical record.
PS: Kate Armstrong, among many others, has done some interesting research in this field.
I believe you meant Karen Armstrong. She’s written quite a number of books on the issue of religion. They all look interesting and I always mean to pick them up but never seem to have the time. (I could however be mistaken about you being mistaken in which case I apologize in advance)
You are correct Fail on my part. I got to excited about typing other things.
I would highly recommend a History of God and a History of Fundamentalism. I can’t speak for any of the rest of her books, although her strictly academic stuff isn’t bad either.
It seems that my ability to punctuate and use correct names has disappeared this evening.
It’s okay. Have some beer. (It won’t help your spelling or punctuation, but you won’t care.)
I’m always here to double check book info (I work at a library and a bookstore. I know my books/authors)
We’ll just blame the wine, you have to sample it to make sure it’s a good vintage before you serve it to the rest of us, and it’s not your fault if there are so many bad vintages that you feel obliged to drink them all to spare us the horror of bad wine. You sir are a true hero!
Sadly, I get no preachy lol’s for this difficult labor.
Here you go, just for you! {http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2923828480}
You are the true hero
have some more wine.
*Offers a glass of expensive, delicious wine to DU*
Aw, you shouldn’t have. Pinot Noir too! Mmmm…*delicately sniffs and then sips her wine*
Wow, GLB has to have the coolest randomly generated avatar. I am tweaking my email to see what it will do…
ewwwwww
I’m 95% certain that isn’t a randomly generated avatar but a picture they found/made and uploaded to gravatar.com.
You could be right, some of them do come out real nice but I haven’t seen one that nice yet.
I know I’m showing up a little late, but before I sift through the rest of this nonsense, I have to say this might be the single most ridiculous, asinine sentence I’ve ever seen in my life. Wow.
I am going to pretend this is facebook for a moment: like.
*likes*
You missed the point.
Are you surprised?
I’m not. But I also looked at all these posts and thought “Perfect opportunity to use my new term (tl;dr).”
BTW, what the heck is a ninja? (Referring to the internet usage of the term; I’m familiar with the Asian version.)
I don’t know what an internet ninja is.
Is okay. Someone will tell me eventually.
I wrote a song about all my silver being pewter instead of worrying about it.
I know what a ninja is a world of warcraft, but I don’t think they’re quite the same thing. {http://www.wowwiki.com/Loot_ninja} You should also post this pewter silver song! I wanna see it!
Well, it’s rather dark and not really rhyming properly yet. The silver pewter idea just fit into my usual genre which is *checks to make sure no one is looking* country-western. Hence the darkness.
*looks about surreptitiously then whispers* So long as it’s proper country western and none of this modern stuff they call country but is really just twangy rock. *raises voice* It’s a haiku you say? Well how very interesting and completely unrelated to country!
Okay, but only if SOMEONE will explain about ninjas!
Dark clouds on every side
dark clouds fill my skies
blackness upon the horizon
darkness everywhere.
Look for the silver lining;
they say it’s always there.
Around the almost black gray
should be a sliver of shining
a beacon to light the way
the hope at the end of the day.
Look for the silver lining;
they say it’s always there.
When the blackness surrounds you
cold black prostrates you
despair rises like waves
a tsunami of darkness upon you.
Look for the silver lining;
they say it’s always there.
But what if the promised silver
is just shiny pewter?
Hrm, we need something that rhymes with pewter. Or maybe you could make the last line pewter shining, might be easier to find something that rhymes with shining. Otherwise it’s awesome
Thanks. It needs more rhyming and better adherence to cadence, probably two more stanzas and, as you noted, fixing the last one to be rhyming (and the same length as the others). But it might be a bit black for the country market; maybe more like Tracy Chapman.
It didn’t help me to figure out what an internet ninja is, but I really enjoyed it.
Thank you for sharing.
I enjoyed it too. Bravo mabs.
*applauds*
oh and in internet terms a ninja is someone credited surprising and often superhuman skill/ability or alternatively someone who’s speed catches others off guard resulting in a somewhat humorous outcome, often embarrassing for the person who has been ‘Ninja’d’
eg 1. That guy just tuned a confusing unfunny LOL in to something hilarious. He is the Ninja of LOL.
eg 2. While attempting to post someone makes the exact comment you did milliseconds before you hit ‘Add Comment’ making you look mildly silly.
no citation, this is original based on my assessment of common usage
Thanks, GB. Can always count on the Canadians!
(Someone called me a ninja yesterday, and I didn’t know if I should apologize or what.)
the wheel has worked better for a longer time…thus the wheel rules over christ!
Is that a douche chill in the air?
Where the fvck did that come from?????
It was a joke about the compassionate beating of retail employees.
Maybe we could compassionately strangle and burn them too.
I do not wish to be burned, I don’t care how compassionate you are about it!
Aw c’mon. It’s good for ya! It’ll purify your horrible nasty sinner soul, DU. Or just become Patsafarian…way less painful. No kneeling and standing and bowing and scraping. Just good red sauce and meatballs and noodley goodness.
in his noodly name
Ra’men
Noodleluya!
I don’t know if I can become a Pastafarian, I’m a Baconist you see, I don’t know if I can be both at the same time. What if I get it wrong? I don’t want to burn in two food based hells. That would make me entirely inedible!
Of course you can. His Noodleyness turns no one away and doesn’t mind how many Food Groups you join. He understands the need for variety…and Bacon-Yum! Many of us also are BBQists, Dim Sumists and Phad Thai-ists. I suspect your edibleness is unscathed by your affiliation.
Yay! I still have to double check with the Prophet of Baconism just to be on the safe side, but he’s probably all in favor of Pastafarianism.
Mangia, my child, mangia.
i don’t get the pic but i love the saying but if you look at it sideway it looks like a friday mobhoot at my school
what is a modhoot
“Mobhoot”. But still, what is a mobhoot?
Isn’t that where a bunch of guys who control a large criminal enterprise all get together and strum acoustic guitars and sing, like, Kumbaya and Micheal Rowed the Boat Ashore?
Or is that a Gangsternanny?
a mob hoot is where 2 years ago at my school a crazy owl was flying around and HOOTING the janeter was too scared to do anything so there was a large MOB chaseing the priencible around the school so every 3rd friday of febuary we celerbrate MOBHOOT day even our school shirts say “WE COLTS ARE CRAZY FOR MOBHOOTS” if you were there you would have died laughing wow it is hard to type laughing Now do you get it?????????
This is a website for grownups. Does your mommy know you are online?
I don’t know, but she should ground him/her from the internet until his/her English grade comes up to at least a D-.
english is my best subject Ihave and A+ in it. it’s typing class I’m nnot doing well in I would but it isn’t one of those show up and you got an A class it is difficault so excuss me for my miss spelling I’m am trying to go fast. *)
|
*)
Don’t try to go fast. Try to go accurately. Also, proofreading is your friend.
so do you all know and get what a MOBHOOT is?
sorry i didn’t know
# #
^
2 years a go my school had this crazy owl flying around hooting and a mob ( acadintly put a d ) was chaseing are princabal around the school trying to tell him but he ketp runing and so we celerbrete this every 3 friday of febuary oh and we all have are school shirts that say “we are mad for MOBHOOT Friday”
If you are going to get drunk off your ass, go on 4chan. This is Pundit Kitchen, damnit! We have integrity! Here call each other nazis and communists, not get TOTALLYWASTED and make silly posts.
Oh. That’s a mobhoot.
Better start paying attention in your English class, kid.
Wait, they’re doing runing. Any school that teaches ancient germanic languages must be pretty advanced. But maybe it’s at the expense of English.
English? What is English? I think the teens all write in Textlish now!
L33T!
A new term for me! (wiki-ed and now known)
Ha! I’m two days ahead of you on that one!
Do u no wut our Homework wuz??/?
Yup! And you will need to read biology-lish in order to complete it, too!
Pfffffff. -I- learned Runes in 6th grade. Obviously his (hers?) education is sorely lacking!
typical liberal free education system..END THE SOCIALIST EDUCATION!!!!
You know, I thought Marxism I & II were interesting, but Advanced Marxism was kind of confusing. Practical Applications of Communism was a great choice in the 8th grade, though.
They only offered Russian at my school.
You must have gone to one of those commie schools jim is all worked up about. Clearly we need to beat you to within an inch of your life.
Dittos
Eeek!! *flails frantically* GetifoffGetifoffGetifoffGetifoffGetifoff
*swoons*
My hero.
*scoops jim up into paper towels and flushes him down the toilet*
Well sh!t. Now it’s stopped up.
*proceeds to stomp on his head to force him down*
Here, Cap…give him here. I’ll stick him in this.
*unveils the handy dandy Ronco Sh!tShredder and revs it up*
BE DIALING PEOPLE!!!!
Wal-mart greeters need breaks? Is it really that hard just to sit there?
thought they stood?
Well, yeah. They have to go to the bathroom every hour, on the hour. They work real hard to stay regular!
You know, I’m really sick of these kiss-up LOLs to retail. We fvcking get it! Retail workers are always in the line of fire and put their lives on the line for everyone, but even as a retail employee I get sick of all the retail LOLames!!!!!111!11eleventyeleven!!!1!!!!
how can you be so un-patriotic…what would fox news say?
Glenn Beck says we have to support the retail workers. Because if we don’t, who will?
the troops will duh!
besides bitter troll dont trust what crying man says
How dare you!? He is a great man and everything he says is true! There is a war out there! A war on consumerism and if you and me don’t do what we can to help *starts to choke up* well, I just don’t what will happen to this country, but it won’t be good…
-hands default a tissue- bitter troll and default can go support single mothers with single dollar bills
Can I go too please? I love strippers.
Yes, we must show our solidarity for consumerism with our support, also can you grab a few more cans of whipped cream on your way? I’m gonna swing by the bank and grab more singles so we have more bills to stuff in interesting places
Um, ew. I’m all for strippers, but I only put bills in their panties.
Typical liberal, these people are DYING for your right to by cheap knick-knack’s and low priced goods you could at least SHOW SOME RESPECT! I hope you DIE you worthless frothfrothfrothyfroth… *has mild seizure from the exploding arteries in brain* /sarcasm
Wow… that actually hurt… I don’t think I have it in me to be that uncivil.
It’s the Canadian in you.
So, is your beard green from the river water?
no… life’s hard when you’re a pirate with sea sickness
Also true for sea-sick vikings!
trolls avoid sea travel, if the boat sinks we are forced to bathe
Piracy on the Great Lakes!
I’m in!
Now where is that damn cutlass…….
A Superior idea. Huron! En garde!
There’s an Erie calm on the water as Captain Brak and First Mate Pitty survey the bounding main for victims. How they fear us.
can bitter troll be a land pirate? or wear water wings ?
Dude…it’s the Great Lakes. You’ll bounce off before you sink. Troll Safety Protocols are in effect! Grab a BFS and join in.
-puts on his tri-corner hat and grabs his cutlass- fine bitter troll is a pirate…but we need hot chicks too
If you kidnap them, they will come.
*fwap fwap fwap CLANG CLANG fwap fwap swoooosh*
Damn! I Michigan! Gotta work on me aim.
Arrr…ye wound the blarsted thing Ontariover shot the mark.
Try ‘er two winds less and 3 degrees ta port. Them catapults is tricky divils!
hey bitter troll moved from michigan to florida to get away from this cold weather…now you want bitter troll on the great lakes in december?>?>?>?>?
Ye have to go where the swag is. Besides..we get to play with swords, man!
You’ll poke an eye out!
Hah! Stand behind me as I weave an impenetrable curtain of steel before our enemies! They shall not pass.
Have some mead–it will be good for your arteries!
*passes a flagon*
Now thats what I’m talking about *quaffs mead* thanks for that
Hey! I will trade some chocolate truffles for some mead!
I have no truffles
, will you settle for some chocolate pie?
No, no. I have truffles. (Got them for whacking pigs.
) WANT mead!
Ooooo u whack pigs??? now that got me curious
Oh, that’s from a different thread. Specifically male chauvinist pigs. (Not real pigs. We’re afraid of PETA.)
I like pigs–intelligent animals, and also useful for immunology research!
*takes out warhammer*
Can I please whack PETA?!?
You can help me firebomb them.
PETA is quite whacked enough already, thank you.
I still think they need some smiting!
Ty … mcp whacking is ok. Thought you got the truffles from whacking pigs after they found them. Can’t believe how much people will pay for truffles. But that’s another story… carry on muchachos.
Ahem, muchachas, fyi. VG and I were talking about chocolate truffles, anyway, so probably that’s what made it all confusing.
I would personally whack a pig if it got into my chocolate truffles.
so piggie gets into your stuff and you jerk it off?
Don’t judge me!
*goes to lock up pigs*
Hey! We have pig security! No messing with OUR pigs!
They were in my truffles!
And this little piggy went…
“Wee wee wee” all the way home…
*sings*
We are the Piiiigsss…..
We are the pork chops….
Oppsss pardon… muchachas. You’re safe.. I am sad to say I may have an allergy to choclates other than the very darkest bitter choccy *sigh* Though I have been known to protect my mangos, mince pies and marron glaces to the death! wonder why all my favourites begin with an M.
*passes mead to Mabsba* Reading comprehension fail… I hate Fridays…
*brings out another cask of mead*
I’m with you on that one! My brain hurts by Friday!
Viking, did it hurt your arse when you passed a flagon?
Nope, I used an overhead pass, rather than the biological version. –didn’t want to use a bounce pass, because then we’d be wearing mead rather than drinking it!
The pellet with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon.
The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!
So I shouldn’t accept a flagon of mead from a dragon?
*mops up froth, whistling*
sinderella?
Sinning, bitter baby.
Typical Americans thinking this is Walmart US. For sure it is in Belgium. I know because the blue tabard is from the Antwerp branch of Poirot & Van Damme. The batons are the famous ‘Plastic Bertrand’ model 33C, which incidentally was only standard issue from 1983 to 1997 and my brother has the very last one made. The 33D was in my opinion better.
OK, but can you explain all of that in words that actually mean something to those who are not from Belgium? I’m not being USA-centric, I just don’t know what ‘Poirot & Van Damme’ means when they are not Hercule Poirot or Victor Van Damme. Help an ignorant Yank get a bit less ignorant, please?
Um. Check out the avatar (is that what the little blue thing is called?). I think it’s our English friend pulling your leg.
Thanks. It IS Fried-day after all!
Shhh! You know he was joking and you were just going along with it! (at least it was hilarious when I read it that way)
Well, I kind of suspected…but… *whispers* I was also kind of tired.
This is a BELGIAN website. Americans are not welcome.
What about Brits who are engaged to Americans?
What about engageds who are Americans to Brits?
What about Americans who are Brits to Belgian socialist flags?
what about trolls who love mermaids who used his own money he personally earned himself to buy socialist murderer belgien flags?
How about Canadians who worked for a Belgian giving tech support to Americans?
I think I’m getting dizzy. I may be to drunk for this thread.
What about people who are just too darn confuzeled to care?
What about Americans who have seen the Python sketch about the many ways to insult Belgians?
I love trolls who love mermaids!
Poirot is a Belgian detective with fastidious habits who enjoys exercising his little gray cells
So that what the kids are calling it these days!
Cor, strike a light, me old china, you got me bang to rights an’ no mistake. It was me wot done it…
I’ll get you for that!
*chases keithybabes with her warhammer*
*cue Benny Hill music*
*’accidentally’ trips over and prepares to receive suitable punishment*
–the warhammer, or the breastplate?
The breastplate, if you take it off before deploying it. At least I’ll die happy!
Well, I have to wear the breastplate, so as to avoid damaging ‘the goods’ with that hammer! Here, can you hold the hammer? Those leather straps are digging into my shoulders.
*takes off*
Ahhhh. Much better. Can I have my hammer back now?
*looks around*
keithybabes?
Hello?
*sneaks up behind VG and cops a feel*
Hee hee!
*snaps picture*
That one is so going in my personal collection
*smiles brightly for the picture*
I love being pictures.
I think it’s time for a sexy party!
WOOOO!!! PANTY PARTY!!!!
Sweet! I have pie and beer, can I join?
WOOOO!!!! BEER AND PIE!!!!!
*welcomes GB to the panty party*
*sets out chocolate pies and several cases of beer*
*cracks a Molson*
Help yourself
*Enjoys view and hopes BT doesn’t mind
*
All my panties are in the wash, I can come either fully clothed or nekkid.
I vote nekid! *drags in a case of Jack Daniels*
i heard jack daniels and naked… i came to the party as fast as i could!
*sprays whipped cream* Oops! Sorry shortright, those clothes will have to go now!
Don’t worry, we have more whipped cream to use once those clothes are off too.
We could drizzle some chocolate syrup, also!
Can a guy with some Patron Silver and some limes drop in here?
Everyone is welcome to the naked panty party with liquor and whipped cream.
*brings maraschino cherries because whipped cream can always use maraschino cherries*
Well done, DU. Well done indeed.
Quiet you fool, you will give the game away!
And we’ll all be DOOOOMED!!!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!
THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!!
Best thread ever.
Amen
Well, it WAS, until jim said the Spanish Inquisition was a good thing. *sigh*
*lol’d and vanished*
Funniest caption I’ve seen in a while.
I have never really read a whole thread before…..&& that was soo worth it. HAHA.
On a serious note, with apolgies in advance..I will be 57 in a few weeks and throughout my life I have seen this scene played out in many countries over many issues…I can never understand how they can get guys prepared to swing wooden clubs at the heads of unarmed and fleeing protestors…if you notice at the right it looks like that very young woman has just been, or is just about to be, clubbed. Do they train them to be like that or do they only recruit heartless creeps in the first place? I dunno….
i think it is actually harder to keep people calm and self controlling. Harder than wake up the animal.