Show Only: Democrats | Republicans | Media | Military
« Previous Rudy Giuliani. | Wal-mart greeters learn Next »
Tell me again why guys who hit a ball for a living are complaining about only getting $5,000,000 a year
Our hearts go out to the real heros.
Who is that in the picture? Tell us in the Comments
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: IrishGirl via Our LOL Builder
 | Roger Phillips on Vandals Cashing In |
 | MacFeegle on Tim Gunn Eyeroll |
| MacFeegle on Real Classy |
| MacFeegle on Both at the Same Time |
 | Vila Restal on Helpful Sign is Helpful |
| Vila Restal on THE FABRIC OF OUR LIVES |
| MacFeegle on Take it to the Grave |
 | Eugene Adams on Vandals Cashing In |
 | ba12348 on Funniest Case Scenarios |
 | Earl Simmons on Vandals Cashing In |
Cheezburger Company Blog
I Can Has Cheezburger? Home - Lolcats n Funny Pictures 
I Has A Hotdog - Loldogs n Cute Puppies 
Just Capshunz - All of the Internet. Captioned
Animal Videos - Cute and Hilarious Animal Videos
Animal Gifs - Cute and Hilarious Animal Gifs
Daily Squee - So cute your brain might explode. 
Historic LOLs - Captioned Portraits of Yore
My Food Looks Funny - Funny Food Photos
So Much Pun - Visual Puns and Jokes
ROFLrazzi - Lol Celebs and All That's Fab Funny in Showbiz 
Totally Looks Like - Stuff That Looks Like Other Stuff
Must Have Cute - See. Want. Must Have!
Oh, FFS….
Oh, Lonny ….
Yet another preachy non-LOL. *sigh*
What do you expect. Notice that I did not include a question mark. Though it is technically a question, it is not a question in my mind, BECAUSETHISKEEPSHAPPENING.
I propose that we put the PUN back into PUNdit kitchen.
Oven if we run the whisk of it all going down the drain?
That’s a bit off the range there, pitty.
I suspatulack appreciation of the finer sinks.
They are the bestove the best!
It’s spoon ages since you knive had a good run.
The first couple of times it was ok.. but now it’s just getting stupid!
Are people doing this deliberately in order to stir the pot, or are they all genuinely hypersensitive ninnies who feel that everything, absolutely everything, must be taken seriously, at all costs? I truly want to know.
I think every photo depicting soldiers makes quite a few people eager to show that they support the troops, either by writing captions, or by voting + for captioned photos.
(Note: I am not intending this comment as ridicule, just giving my interpretation of the phenomenon as best I can.)
…and to make that a bit clearer, I think the “support the troops”-idea lead to some over-zealousness with the result that “soldiers are the bestest and only truest heroes ever” is the only acceptable stance to some, which in turn leads to the urge to make these glorifying captions and to vote beneficiently for them.
I know I use a lot of commas. It’s my only way to try to be heroic.
Really! All these sentences with dependent clauses and such-like are just too taxing on our wee American brains.
And yet Wodehouse got away with it!
(I used to be worried about my comma addiction until I started reading Wodehouse in original.
)
As far as I’m concerned, commas are woefully underused in today’s society. I swear, I cannot comprehend what most interwebs posters are trying to tell me.
Try grading research papers at the first-year college level. *sighs* Massively under-comma-ed. Not to mention, most of them use complicated sentences that cry out in desperation for commas, semicolons, and the colon + numbered sequence structure.
I ask you, oh humanity, to cry in sympathy for my poor punctuation-deprived brain!
My first-year college students do not use complete sentences at times, much less proper comma usage.
I actually, once, had a boss, who managed to, overuse the comma. We, had great fun, circling all the superfluos, commas.
(Pardon the poor spelling, I’m on the comp at work and it doesn’t have firefox with built in spell checker )
What the hell is a “colon +”?!
The colon usually ends in a *
At the risk of being pedantic, the ‘colon + numbered sequence’ is a way to not get lost in a long list of detailed examples. Oh joy. Example below…
And the digestive system consists of: 1) the retroperitoneal esophagus, 2) the stomach, greater and lesser omentums, 3) the intestines and mesenteries, and 4) the accessory glands.
—–
The colon is also a gassy place. Not a good environment for gerbils!
What about gerunds?
You simply couldn’t get a gerund up your *
Ah, you are thinking of the Giant Hairy Nosed Gerund. The dwarf gerunds are much smaller.
But gerunds are such nasty-tempered creatures. I wouldn’t want to be playing with them at all!
Isn’t the dwarf gerund called a gerundive?
I would like to add that I have never noticed any excess of commas in your posts, Danbala. (I always want to put “Danny Boy,” then start singing.)
Now all that rationality and politeness…
And people vote them up because they don’t want their conscience to think they’re unpatriotic.
My vote is for hypersensitive ninnies. I firmly believe in supporting the troops, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, there’s a time and a place without trying to compare apples and oranges.
Eddie I know it’s hard, but oranges have a rine that should be peeled before eating (but makes a great zest), and apple’s skin can be eaten with the apple. An apple usually has a core with seeds in it, while an orange’s seed can be picked out of the fruit while eaten… there’s some more… but I’m tired and too lazy to type.
Yeah, but is the apple making 5 mil?!?! Huh? Is it? Because the orange is just as valuable!!!!!11!ELEBENTY!!
Oh, and FTR, it’s rinD..
I know but the e key and e key are too close together..
It’s almost like their the same key…
They work together. And they move like the wind.
Is there ANYONE who has a *real* job who doesn’t think this? Geez.
Oh well, tomorrow is Vladurday I’m (almost) looking forward to a Vlad LOL!!!
Yeah, I’m worth $5m, but I just can’t seem to convince my boss. He keeps saying I have to try harder.. sheesh, the ingrate!
My boss knows I’m worth 5 mill, she just can’t seem to convince her boss.
I’m worth about 5 mill, but my job isn’t. Hell, compared to my coworkers I’m positively overpaid.
War is hard to televise…and sponsorship is hard to come by.
“This bloody firefight brought to you by; Bounty! The thicker, quicker, blood and guts picker-upper!”
“This MOAB (Mother of All Bombs) drop is brought to you by the movie Gigli starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez”
ILPB, you have been funny today, so far.
“Have you had a day in the trenches? You deserve a Michelob!”
Michelob?! Give that wo/man a bottle of whiskey!
But whiskey distillers don’t do ads on the radio!?!
I’ve heard whiskey ads on the radio.
I need to switch to a different station!
This war is brought to you by Tastee Ghoul!! (Nerd points to be gained if you recognise that brand name
)
I wonder it, but people could stop going to or watching ball games and I bet their salary would go down…
But then I’d have to give up my season tickets!! It took me 7 years of waiting.
Did someone put a caption on the wrong photo? I don’t see baseball, money, or complainers. I see a pic of some military dudes. Normally, I at least get where the military lols are going even if I don’t care for them. This one is sort of out of nowhere.
No, it’s just all “Whinge whinge soldiers get paid crap and their job is tough and why should athletes get paid more blah blah puke”….So there’s not much to “get”.
Soldiers get paid in crap? I know some people get paid in gum, but crap, that’s pretty low.
I prefer getting paid in rum.
cause bitter troll just gives you rum
But why is the rum gone?
Because bitter troll gave it all to me. Duh.
I’m totally worth it.
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum.
I’d be crazy to not get paid in gum!
Forget Gum!! You can pay me in Jelly Beans (or Rum!!)
It’s a really cool old photo, that’s all I got…
I do like the photo, but I am certain somebody could have made it more applicable. I mean baseball?
Lol….good one, VNV. (Although to be fair, I think 95% of the “soldiers are awesomer than you” stuff is from people that have NEVER been in the military themselves.)
I am just saying. If you wanna say something just say it. But make sure the pic adds to the funneh.
That was pretty funny. Five’d and fav’d.
Well played, old bean. Well played.
Since I’ve served I’m awesomererererererer than elbenty people holding belgian flags with Russian flight attendants yelling “TOO SOON!”
9/11.
*applauds*
*throws badgers*
badgerbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgers
mushroom, mushroom
*knock knock*
Oh, no! PETA’s here to get VG for badger abuse. RUN!
Don’t worry, there’s a snaaaaaaake to scare them off!
Shrooms, anyone?
Mushroom of Thruth?
Oh lordy, I stink.
I love shrooms! *noms shrooms*
*hallucinates*
Well how about this then?
lol. Much better.
Yes! I think you should submit that one. (But put the apostrophe in first, otherwise we’ll all make fun when it makes the front page.
)
Too late i think. I submitted it as soon as I made it. I don’t care if it doesn’t make it to the front or if i get heckled. Just trying to show that lols can relate to the image. But I have noticed after I read the caption, the more I stared at the picture the funnier it sort of got. So.. who knows.
LOL yeah, and the apostrophe.
It is better but it’s spelled “camera”
Better than this one, but I don’t think they think they are better than anyone… They do deserve, as a whole, an incredible amount of respect though.
The lol I made was a spoof about all the lols saying how much more awesome being a soldier is than the lives of any of us, which is bs. I think they do deserve respect, but I think most all people do. But respect is like religion, believe whatever you want but don’t try to push it on me.
Spoof? What’s that?
spoof
Do you have a link for flying right over your head.
Tomfoolery! One of my favourites.
Well, I do respect most other people, but not as much as those who, as a whole, put their lives on the line to protect me and my family and country. Ok, I went there! *alarms ringing* Whoop, whoop, whoop!! Other people, as a whole, don’t generally do that…
Tbh, I think most people do that – but I think the problem is how people perceive the bit about “protecting me and my family”.
It’s the laying their lives on the line part that is different.
What? Different from what? I must’ve been unclear. I meant that I think most people have plenty of respect for soldiers who protect them and their family, but that the interpretations of what constitues protection causes many of the differences in opinions about soldiers and the respect for them.
Yes, I completely missunderstood what you said there. I mean in general, that is their function. Whether they always do it or not is debateable, I still respect them. It’s sorta like respecting the office of the Presidency, I may not like the guy in there or think he doing a good job, but I respect him for his service. It’s a crappy job really.
I like firemen. Hot hot firemen..
And your respect is just like your religion. Completely your own and not mine.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T tell me what it means to you. Shock it to me, shock it to me, shock it to me….
Oooh, are we singing Aretha today?
For five long years, I thought you were my man,
But I found out… I’m just a link in your chain.
You got me where you want me,
I ain’t nothing but your fool….
You treated me mean, oh, you treated me cruel
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools….
Sock it to me, not shock it to me. She wasn’t a sadomasochist.
I thought he was singing in Sean Connery’s accent.
Bingo…. Sean Connery does Aretha.
One DVD and Blue Ray this Christmas.
*headdesk* One= On
I don’t know…encouraging trolls sounds awfully self abusing to me. hehe
I think I’ll throw the bulk of my respect to the farmers. They give me food and I need food more than I need peace.
I thought Whirlled Peas was food.
It’s comparing soldiers to professional baseball players. you don’t need a picture of ball players because it’s referrenced in the caption and it’s already understood that they make way more money than they deserve. I don’t watch any sports or go to events for exactly this one reason.
I agree that baseball players get more money than they deserve. No doubt. I have had a few posts on the sports entertainment genre. I am just saying that, imo, the lol caption should somewhat reference the pic. There are people that get paid less than the military and who don’t get near the credit the soldier get for being heroes. So if its a soldier lol make it about soldiers , baseball lols about baseball, and money inequalities about actual broke folks. Maybe I am just picky in my humor. But I still think the pic caption combo could ahve done better.
Touche
Presumably you don’t go to movies for the same reason, or watch TV or read bestsellers or go to art galleries or concerts or use a computer. Let’s all stay at home and pull a blanket over our heads in case some unworthy person gets rich.
Artists and book-writers don’t tend to pull in anything even close to the salaries of the top athletes. And that includes the top level of authors and artists.
The Wyeth family’s money didn’t run towards purchasing ‘family compound’ types of real estate (unlike the Bushes or the Gates folks).
Steven King has a really nice place in Bangor, ME (complete with wrought iron fencing with a repeating bat motif). Bangor is a nice artistic little city. But I did a quick real estate search on Bangor, and it is not Beverly Hills…not at all!
Well Mercs get much more than a soldier? Intrest join Blackw….. Belgianwater!!!!11
MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111
TOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!&!()#!!!
Is that ‘Nam? cause it was no job you were going to prison if you don’t go. Heh
Try the Pacific in WWII.
I was thinking much earlier, Korea or maybe even WWII?
How much earlier?
Is this…….SPARTA??!??!!
No hot men in leather undies so not SPARTA!!! Do not tease me like that, Diss.
Why don’t we ever get THOSE photos in here? Then we wouldn’t complain so much about the captions.
Those photos are on ROLFazzi. But I too think they should be on here. It’s history, godammit!!!
Yes, history!! And I need some learnin’!!!
I need some learnin at the hands of a tall, ripped, fit soldier and his leather belt. Teach me history, baby..
We had the Rusian, Ukrainian, Belgian, flight attendtants, TWICE. I heard few complaints.
Girls. Meh.
I did one with hot shirtless firefighters, but it didn’t even make “upcoming” much less the front.
Hee hee. Methinks the admins are boys…straight boys.
Diss, I voted for that one but I don’t have any socks to help get it to the front page where it belongs.
Oh my gods they are so beautiful.
*drool*
Diss you saw 300? Jacked men with 0% body fat in loin clothes…. I’m surprised.
What? I own the dvd…
(The really sad part? I got so into the plot of the damn movie I forgot they were going to lose….sorta like going to see Titanic and being surprised that the boat sinks.)
I was waiting in line to see Titanic, and said sarcastically to my friend, “You know spoiler alert, the ship sinks in the end.” And the dumb a$$ behind me said in a serious manner, “Thanks for ruining the story for me.”
… like those who gasped or let a “NO!” escape when the balrog pulled Gandalf off the bridge… (Causing everyone else to snicker haughtily.)
*headdesk* and LOL!
What are you LOLing? The idiot behind me, or the fact I saw Titanic in the theaters…
Well, the idiot behind you.
My Titanic story:I managed to avoid seeing that movie for the LONGEST time. Finally my girls were watching it on tv and I was walking through the room when the ship was sinking. Got sucked into it a little at that point, because, well, watching giant ships sink is cool. Then at the point where whatserface is on the rafty thing and DiCaprio’s freezing in the water and she tells him she’ll never let go — well, right after she says it there’s some odd noise in the movie and then he’s sinking in the water. I said, “Holy crap, did she just break his hand off?” It was explained to me that, no, she just fvcking lied and let go of him. I like my version better, especially if it turned out the old lady was still carrying around this creepy, dried-up mummified hand all the time….
Nice that I’m not the only person who picked up on the “I’ll never let go Jack” and then the beotch let’s his ass go. I don’t get it.
I guess they cut out the part where after she says she’ll never let go, she asks him why he’s not answering her, gets annoyed with him for not talking about his feelings, eventually discovers he’s dead and says the hell with it.
I think she would never metephorically let go, but really, having her say that and then showing her let go just didn’t work.
Thankfully I was only subjected to that horror fest once, and all I have retained is her boobs.
This all makes me very happy to say that I have never seen said movie. The boys and I don’t watch the ‘chick flicks.’ I mean, you know the ship sinks in the end, right? *person behind mabsba begins yelling at her for ruining the movie*
Dang!
If Titanic ended in this way, it would have automatically been a great movie.
Agreed. It would have that Poe element to it, “The Monkey Paw” I think.
LOL. Jay Leno said that happened to him too. Stupidity runs rampant.
Best ever Streetwalkers. “Who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave?” “Umm I don’t know…”
“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”
“Sponge Bob”
I weep for our future.
*nods*
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he….
I don’t know why my brain finds it so much easier to retain stupid useless information that stuff I actually NEED TO KNOW.
I believe that’s the male side of your psyche you’re sensing..
Too true. :rolleyes:
My husband and I were watching a rock special on PBS last night, and he kept rattling off all this information about the different musicians. (“In the 70s, Sting was criticized for having an all-black band and told them he had the best band, independent of color, which is part of the reason why he is singing with Stevie Wonder on this show.”) Since I have a really good audio (auditory?) memory, now I can repeat it all too.
oh, rock as in music! At first I was thinking your husband was a geologist or something.. And my next thought was, “Why would there be a special on rocks? That’s like a special on how paint dries.”
Hey, if it dries too fast, it gets all crackly and weird texture stuff. ooooh, paint ….
Oh my, I think you have been watching too much 60 Minute Makeover..
I was a geology major for my undergrad. You could do a whole SERIES on rocks! Rocks are fvcking AWESOME, lol….
Not when they’re being thrown at you!
Nobody sits like this rock sits.
You rock, rock.
The rock just sits and is.
You show us how to just sit here and that’s what we need.
Diss I totally agree with you. Rocks are awesome. Especially when they are clear and shiny. And set in gold.
The most fascinating thing to me was making microscope slides (“thinsections”) of a very plain, ordinary looking basalt. Dull black, nothing of interest. Under a polarizing microscope, stunningly beautiful and complex. *is a geek*
I knew I liked you Diss! I think a section through the cerebellum is gorgeous—for a dead, fixed in chemicals thing!
Diss, Geology is the only class in which I cheated freely and without shame. When your teacher resembles a drunken Santa after a 12 day bender on a cruise ship in Mexico, and is too stupid to realize that the answers to the pop quiz that was scheduled on the syllabus are showing through the paper he’s holding in front of you, I feel that cheating is begged for. Also, I never studied for that class and walked out with a high B. My sister studied 4-5 hours a day and got a D. And she’s usually a much better student than I, having remained on the President’s List at the university she attended for several years.
The labs were fun though. “Name this rock.” “Quartz!” “Very good.”
I was in the theater, waiting for “300″ to start, and chatting to a friend about the history behind the movie and our travels to Europe, specifically to Greece. All of the sudden, some dolt leans over and says “Wrong continent, sweetheart.” So I killed him; he was too stupid to live.
No, I didn’t kill him. I told him “It’s best to remain silent and be thought a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.” And then told him to go home and look at an atlas.
“No, I didn’t kill him.”
Aw.
I agree Danb, it’s a much better story without that last paragraph.
Yeah, and I would have done the world a favor by getting rid of an idiot.
I vote for HOW to be the lifeguard of the gene pool!
Are there official whistle and some sort of weapon to go with this title? I’ll need a weapon to cull the idiots. Oh, and I want a cape too. A cape will look very dramatic.
*opens up the doors to the armory she’s just built in her shrubbery* Take your pick, I have almost anything that isn’t actually a firearm. I know, I’m one of those bleeding heart liberals who hates guns, but I have everything else. I’m sure someone else can provide you with a gun if you would prefer though.
Now if you were a redneck, that would have ended with: And then I punched him.
You forgot the “my friend held my beer” part. We have a lot of rednecks here in western Canuckia.
Yes, I am well familiar with the rednecks of western Cauckia, a not exactly endangered breed.
Much like the rednecks of eastern Washington State.
LOL. So true. When I was in college, my pet beef was that a black guy (who was younger than I) always called me girl. So one day he walked into work, saying “How’s it going, girl?” and I answered, “Fine, how you doing, boy?” He froze for about two seconds, then said, “You don’t like to be called girl, do you?” To which I said, “It’s not my favorite. How do you feel about being called boy?” He never called ANYONE girl again (except actual girls).
*hands mabsba a chocolate truffle*
You just earned the male chauvinist de-pigging award!
*nom nom nom*
Thank you! I actually did it to another guy while in grad school…do I get more truffles?
Absolutely! The fewer piggies we women have to deal with as fully erupted pains-in-the-butt, the better!
*hands over more truffles*
*makes puppy dog eyes*
Can I have a truffle VG? pease??
Oh, I think I will share. Your story was even better.
Yay sharing is caring!
He was being extremely condescending. I would have whacked him upside the head with my really heavy bag but he looked like somebody that would call the cops and press charges. Misogynistic asshole.
But you get some of VG’s chocolate truffles for verbally (if not physically) putting him in his place. Yay, truffles!
I must admit, this is a legitimate complaint. Market forces I guess?
If only fewer people wanted to join the armed forces, the supply of workers would decrease and the price of their labor would increase?
Or we could increase the demand for workers while holding constant the number of people who wanted to work – Quick start another war!!!
Hooray for overly generalized economics.
*fires nukes at Korea*
Done and done.
*texts Captain Wow*
ZOMG CHARRO FIRED A NUKE AT KOREA!!
*crashes scooter*
*is startled by loud noise of froo crashing*
*”accidentally” fires nukes at Uganda*
Hey, they had it coming.
Soldier is a pretty cool guy. Eh fights wars and doesn’t afraid of anything.
i prefer Spy, Scout or Sniper Class.
What’s really funny is this lol isn’t even relevant to the time the picture was taken. I don’t know of ANY baseball player in the 40′s that was making $5m a year.
If you’re going to make a preachy lol, at least make it relevant to the times.
I thought the picture was an entire baseball team in fatigues on ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’. THAT would make sense.
We should televise all wars from soldier mounted cams, all while they endorse products and have advertisements digitally imposed over everything. We can then pay the soldiers 5,000,000.
Extra bonuses to the soldier if they manage to use said product in action during war.
“I know you’re hurt private, but this OxyClean will take that bloodstain right out!”
“Now now, sarge, try a Pepsi! Pepsi makes everything better.”
“Preparation H is good for that ass problem, Colonel.”
we should televise every enemy death and NOT american deaths and send a message to the enemy, but the liberal news for some damn reason feeds on our dead and not the defeat of the enemy….in the USA we also must defeat the liberals to win wars also
Except the soldiers that are women. However some of them are manlier than most men.
They’re still beautiful.
like that chick on the bomb!
Tell me again why people vote for these.
We don’t know. Or we’d be happy to tell you.
Aw come on, dammit. Is it the same person who does these LOL-less posts every time? BAN-NISH! BAN-NISH!
Get a sense of humour, you wet blanket…
But there’s no funny to be had in this one.
See the problem for the guys in the picture was there was nothing to loot in the jungle. Looting was traditionally the poor soldier’s method of supplementing his meagre income.
but there was bat crap and plants and stuff! all over the place…green house’s make loads of money!
Yeah, but try keeping that stuff in good condition in your backpack!!
nobody cares.
Now, see, I thought that the comment on the pic was directed at golfers…
See – you’re mocking over-paid sportsmen, which is good, but you have gone back to fellating the military, which is bad.
So I would say I am ambivalent about this post.
I know who those guys are, they are the U.S. Marine Raiders (pic was taken in 1944)
Salaries are based on how rare required skill sets for a job are, anyone can pick up a rifle and kill someone if they have to; not everyone can hit a 98 Mph ball 15-30+% of the time. If this confuses you don’t even try arguing, you do not have a clue what you’re talking about.
very valid point.
that and most military is the bottom ranking of high school grads, the ones that cant get into college or find a decent job.
heros because they didnt study
The people in the picture are brave men, thats who. my uncle, grandpa (may he rest in peace) and dad were in a war. Uncle: Iraq. Grandpa: I don’t know. Dad: Operation Desert Storm. God bless all war vets.