It may not be the most efficient way to fish, but it certainly is more satisfying.
(A member of the US Navy)
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Stonecrow via Our LOL Builder
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Pew Pew Pew…
ticka ticka ticka
Wouldn’t all the noise scare away the fishes?
classic jazz sooths the fishies so you can shoot them!
They like a bit of Thelonius Monkfish.
I see what you did there!
I would have gone down the “small man with a big gun” road…but that’s just me.
At the risk of getting too serious, you can’t fish with that gun. Water absorbs almost all of the energy of the bullet after just a few inches it loses lethal velocity and simply sinks.
Charro – your mermaid realm is safe from the men with the thunder sticks (now I’ve probably disappointed her)
I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track (Thunder)
I looked ’round,
And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do? (Thunder)
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you (Thunder)
Nobody else thought of that?
And at the risk of getting serious on another matter, one does not require spellcheck on this small a number of words. People, typos are acceptable, understandable even, on a post quickly dashed off whilst the boss has their head turned away, but if you’re cobbling something together for posterity, THEN TAKE A MINUTE TO READ WHAT YOU’VE WRITTEN BEFORE YOU HIT SUBMIT.
There. That feels better.
You got a little froth on your chin, there, Rattus. Here, let me get it for you.
BTW, I agree.
Thanks. A frothy chin does not go unremarked upon in the office.
The pron industry can be a rough place.
Not nearly as rough as the world of finance.
With the same end result.
Pretty much. We’re all getting screwed, one way or the other.
Rattus, it took me several tries of reading The Steve’s post to realise.. You meant the captioner.
.50 Cal is still lethal at a depth of 5 ft of water, therefore we need to tell the fish to swim deeper, oh and not to jump. He could be fishing jumping fish, so yeah this could be used for fishing. **kicks Steve in the shin**
“ow, I think he shattered it!”
**super glues shin back together** There there the Steve, oh your shirts wrinkled… ANY PK woman in here to iron his shirt?
Yes…WITH THIS BULLDOZER!!
Don’t you mean Steam Roller? Not to correct you or anything…
*headdesk* D’oh! Yes. Steam roller.
HOW, if you let PB get the better of you once more we’re going to have to revoke your Feminist card. We just can’t have this ruining our reputation.
DU – I think I should hand over my card preemptively to keep the level of embarrassment down for my feminist sisters. Either that or kill ILPB so this never happens again.
Can we vote on which you choose?
i dont know where youre gettin your facts but the faster the speed of the bullet doesn’t make it go deeper, in fact from the sheer force of the bullet hitting the water it would break up sooner than say a 9mm bullet
It’s the size and muzzle velocity of the bullet. It was done as research during WWII (since the Japs used .50 Cals). As the shells were full metal jacket and not that stupid lead it wouldn’t break up when it hit the water. That’s actually what slows the bullet the quickest, however when the bullet is solid metal. Know your weapons my friend.
[This is from my fiance*:]
It’s the velocity of the round that keeps it from penetrating too far into the water. Even on Mythbusters they tried different rounds, different weapons . . . you’d be better off shooting an arrow into the water. The slower the projectile, the farther it penetrates. Even a full metal jacket, or an armor-piercing round (has a solid tungsten steel penetrator in the middle) in a .50 cal won’t penetrate more than a couple of feet (can’t remember the exact measurement).
They tested 30.06, 9mm, .223, .308 — none of them had much penetration into the water.
*Who also used to be a gun dealer, and had, among others, four .50 caliber belt-fed machine guns, so he’s pretty experienced with them.
Didn’t Mythbusters figure out that 8 feet is the magic number? If you’re 8 feet under the water, it doesn’t matter what kind of gun or round they’re using, they won’t hit you.
(Me now:) I thought it was less, but neither of us could remember for certain. We were both surprised to see how little the distance was with the .50, though, at the time. I was thinking it was only about 2 feet the .50 round penetrated.
Here it is:
Whyfor it doesn’t let me post linkies in my name anymore?
{http://mythbustersresults.com/episode34}
I was thinking explosive rounds, if they’ll detonate in water — let the concussion do the work.
At that price you could just pay a local fisherman, couldn’t you?
Or I could go to a restaurant and order fish for dinner — but that’s not the point…
I’ve always found a stick of dynamite dropped into the lake yields plenty of fish.
No, no. I am most relieved. Thank you The Steve. I am always worried when people stand over my kingdom waving their thunder sticks maniacally.
Way to spell, bad speller person.
I assumed a person named “lalalalala” wouldn’t care that much.
But at least it’s spelled correctly!
“Certainly” and “Satisfying” are spelled correctly.
Well honestly! If you’re going to get that serious about fishing, dynamite is the way to go..
Actually you could also just use an air compressor and an air hose. You aerate the water enough the fish drown.
Ok, but where’s the satifying geyser of water with that method? The fun is in the ka-boom!
I sense a mythbusters episode coming on….
Well, they did the shooting underwater and shooting fish in a barrel (which extrapolates to the use of concussive force). Now the aeration…seems to me that it would have to be a small body of water?
If you can find one of those old crank telephones, you can run wires from it to the water into a river or pond, and do a nice job on any fish near the bottom.
Polluting the ocean is AWESOME
Hold out your hand. Here’s my donation to your “Buy A Sense of Humor” fund. *tosses quarter*
Hah, show’s how much you know.
Lead sinks, he’s only pollutiong the ocean FLOOR!
*laughs triumphantly*
(hope you bought that sense of humor HOW funded, or this is going to really piss you off)
cause we all know the ocean is 100% pure water
no fish
no metal
no plants
no fish poop
no pirate ships
no mermaids with hot gams
no rocks
no iron
no lead
no kryptonite
no lava
no sweaty fat people swimming
no sharks-jaws was a lie-
and certainly cant handle a guy dropping some lead slugs or copper shells into it.
IT WILL DESTROY THE WORLD !!!!
But it’s already polluted with all those fish, he’s helping!
Just like Cow manure kills the land, Fish $hit kills the water.
and we all watched the mythbusters when they had 100% pure water and dropped pennies in it right?
EXPLODEING WATER!
What’s with the sarcasm? I think polluting the ocean really is awesome.
Oh. Well. Alright then.
How about “Fishing for Pirates!”?
-sniffs- leave the poor pirates alone, they just want rum
Why is the rum always gone?
cause them damn ninja’s stole it!
Oh. That’s why.
*sets up “ninja trap”* Let’s see those sneakly little ninjas try to steal my rum now!
there are 7 ninja’s in this picture above. can you spot them all?
I only see 6. Where’s the one I’m missing?
THE ONE BEHIND YOU!!!!!
Wha? OMG! Good thing I hid the rum in the safe!
*Checks safe*
Dammit!
**staggers over to Mina** You mean this Rum? Some pirate nijnas were trying to take it, surprisingly they looked like Johny Depp….
-smells of rum- what? bitter troll has no idea
Take the eye shadow off BT, just take it off….
That’s it. You boys owe me a gallon of rum. And BT, you owe me another thing of eyeshadow. That was my favorite color!
bitter troll didnt use it on bitter troll’s eyes thou
Doesn’t matter. If you used it, I want a new one. I don’t share eye shadow. Or you can just give me more rum. Then I won’t care about the eye shadow.
Look, the options were burn all the rum in a huge conflagration to hopefully signal for rescue or drink rum until we slowly starve to death. I did the only logical thing. Though now that we’ve drunk all the rum I wonder that we haven’t all died from lack of food or just from alcohol poisoning.
I thought they wanted booty? :shakes booty in direction of bitter pirate:
Besides, the term pirate is no longer politically correct. The new term is “Pre-emptive salvage experts”
Or, PESE.
Who’s peeing on the pirate ship?
Well damn, clever fail… *goes back to drawing board*
It’s ok DW, I think it was too long. And really Jane is FUGLY, next time use Jean.
You rang?
*incensed* Jane St. Clair is beautiful.
jane is a hottie, bitter troll would totally do her if she would just stop maceing bitter troll
Rang all kinds of bells for me –
That was pretty much the way it felt working for NYC for 10 years.
Nicely done, dark prince of clever.
I do what I can with the moments of clarity I possess.
*calls out* Mina! I rushed over as fast as I could….who stole the rum!?!
Bitter Troll and I Like Peanut Butter. *sniff* They ninja’d it from me.
No we saved it from the Joe Biden Johny Depp ninjas, it just so happened some spilled, into our mouths.
The entire bottle spilled into your mouths?
It was BT’s idea to carry it on our heads.
a likely story….
Uh huh, and how much did you “carry” before you decided that was a good idea?
bitter troll had large empty space in tummy to transport rum. will pee it back out for mina
Ew! I think I’d rather new rum that hasn’t been through the “bitter troll filter”.
*walks in wearing lab coat and safety goggles while carrying test tube and clipboard* Interestingly enough, my findings show that the rum run through bitter’s *ahem* ‘filtering system’
is actually twice as alcoholic as the rum that was originally put into the ‘filter’. As long as we don’t tell anyone how it’s filtered we may be able to market this.
*shakefist* They will not get away with it!!!
Minda, why do you smell like rum too?
What? *hickup* I thought that drink tasted a little funny.
new rum scented perfume! scent de’la scallywag
available at your local pub!
I think it might be time for a shopping trip!
Whoot!!! But this time you can’t make the lady behind the counter cry.
But, but, but… ok fine. *pouts*
how about we start a riot right before we leave?? whould that make you happy? ^__^
*jumps up and down then hugs Minda* OMG, I knew there was a reason you’re my bestest best friend!
*Shows up smelling like wine and cigarettes* Mina, what happened to all the rum that was in the safe?
It got ninja’d by Bitter and ILPB. And I’m starting to suspect Minda of snitching some as well. Can I bum a cig? I’m starting to sober up and my nerves are bad.
Here, *hands Mina hand rolled cigarette*. I can help with your sobriety too, red or white?
Thanks! *lights cigarette* That’s heavenly. Oh, um, red please. Preferably dry. Thanks.
Well a woman smoking is sexy….. **puts on Bon Jovi, sits and waits for clothes to fall off**
*whispers to ILPB “Ahem , you’re messing with my game here.”
Mina, don’t worry, we won’t listen to Bon Jovi until later.
*Hands Mina a bottle of Cab* I really wish we had some rum. BT propositioned me with some, but I know he likes to ‘filter’ things before he gives them away. How are we supposed to have pirate night now?
Lovely *pulls wine glass from safe* I think I have a new motto. “Don’t accept gifts from bitter trolls.” At least not liquid gifts. I suppose we’ll have to wait for pirate night. Some other time perhaps. Hey, is that Bon Jovi I hear?
everyone calm down!! there is only one thing to do at a time of crisis like this, RAID A RUM SHIP!!
I’ve already got my cutlass at the ready!
You know the cargo is rum when the ship is swerving all over the place.
*Don’s eye-patch.* Arrrrrrrr.
What do we do now?
WINO! get the balls on the brass monkey!
MINA! man the crows nest and keep keen eye for rum runners
MINDA! make sure the powder is fresh and dry!
BITTER TROLL! have a sandwich
oh dont mind if i do, thank you
Ahem, I believe I’ll woman the crows nest. ‘Cause I’m not a dude.
show us all your boobies and prove it!
and to call you something differenet based off your gender sounds sexist, dont want a lawn suit!
Lawn suit? Is that like a leisure suit? A jogging suit? Swim suit?
a lawn suit, made of grass, didnt bitter troll say that?
Can we smoke it?
If we could smoke it, then why would he say he doesn’t want one?
just not the crotch
There are several places on that suit I wouldn’t smoke, that particular one being ranks really high up the list. Hehe, high. Now, where the heck is that cargo ship?
*coughs* I spilt it….now I look like a ghost!! Awesome!!!
*shows up in spiffy uniform & powdered wig*
HALT!! All of you under arrest for piracy! Come peaceably or I shall have to unleash the entire fury of Her Majesty’s Navy on your collective booties.
*pulls up pants*
Whose side are you on anyways, HOW? We were just trying to get our rum back.
Here have some wine, it will help bring out the full “fury” of HMN’s booty.
HOW, ye scurvy dog! let ye catch wind away from this port, or feel the steely throating from a bitter troll! YAR!!!!
-draws forth a cutlass and flintlock, then places his bitter boot on a very bitter and armed cannon- Join me ranks or get to stepping…less ye be food for de fishies
Psst. You’re supposed offer me a bribe so I’s look the other way and pretend there be no pirates in these waters. Rummy bribes work well but wine is a good substitute.
“steely throating”? Is that a deep steely throating?
no its period speak for stabbing you in the throat!
EEEWWWWW you smoke… that’s dirty!!!
Only when drinking
So, basically any time?
Dang. I have to go to work again. Almost the end of the semester!
I don’t know what “effiecent” means.
But I DO know what “efficient” means. Is that what you meant, or are you creating words and alternative spellings?
::sighs at today’s society and the significant lack of writing skills::
But it really is more effiecent.
What’s worse, the people who voted for the spelling error, or the preson who did such error? These are the things I need to know.
Honestly, I would prefer this over many other things that make it through the voting page.
*Notices that there haven’t been a protesters with miss-spelled signs recently*
*Observes a typo in current lol*
The protesters are now voting on PK!!!!1elebenty!
Writing, no. Typing, yes!
Relevance?
Irreverence!
Reminds me of the one about the boss of a failing company whith two employees Jack and Jane. one day in desperation he calls Jane into the office and said ‘ Look Jane, I’m desperate, I’m going to have to lay you or Jack off, what should I do?’
And Jane says ‘Would you mind jacking off this time, I’ve got a headache”
Ya know, I have heard that joke before but honestly didn’t have in mind when I wrote this. Wacky but I’ve always been a pervert.
And Lynn just tried to set fire to the kitchen. I hate this year.
he is def not in the real navy. he is a little midshipman. lame little college kids that like to play navy
You’re just mad you have to call that punk “sir”.
he must kill the pokemon
HOOYAH NAVY!!
those thick and heavy borosilicate wine glasses are the best but they are very expensive ~;, -*”
*Grabs rum while Steve is distracted by fabulous Canadian booty*
*watches booty wiggle off into the distance*
*doesn’t care why the rum is gone*