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“Dear diary, Today is my first day in the White House and I am very excited. Barack said if I am good her will take me to the zoo. That would be cool. I like tigers.”
(Joe Biden)
Picture by: Time Magazine Caption by: duzey via Advanced Lol Builder
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I like polar bears myself.
I can haz monkeys?
I believe you’re lion about that. However I won’t badger you for an answer.
There’s something fishy about that comment, I just can’t put my paw on it.
Alright let me asp you a question, do you think it would be-hoof me to stay away from Biden Ninjas?
My mother tortoise to. Or elks!
That’s kind of ostrich, maybe mother was full of carp.
mother is a little batty, and she hounds people a lot, but still you’re the one full of bull.
Pun threads always make me giraffe…
No rhino-r reason to it.
Don’t worry, my lips are sealed. I cat make any good animals puns.
I like turtles.
you get a point
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Box turtles.
These people like turtles too.
Awwwww…this one makes me wanna cuddle him
I’m not sure I’d EVER want to cuddle Joe Biden. Something about him makes me think “predator”. I dunno. Nothing good can come of a teenage girl cuddling that guy.
I like tigers too!
Be good Joe, he might even buy you one of those vacuum formed plastic gorillas!
I like turtles…
I think all zombie can agree on that.
*facepalm*
*adds an S after zombie*
*downs coffee*
Actually, I kind of like using zombie as the plural of zombie. I think I’ll start using it.
“Dude, have you played Left 4 Dead 2 yet? I totally used a frying pan to kill 20 zombie in a row. Too bad there were like 50 zombie on my ass…I got pwned.”
“Here is my war plan for
AffghAfghaaaover there. There are a million ninjas. They wear black and they are sneaky. When I grow up, I want to be a ninja, or a fire hydrant.”Is that a quote from one of his speeches?
Pretty close — ninjas were essentially the defining element of Sheriff Joe’s war plan.
Now who doesn’t like Ninjas?
If you want to live, that is.
I don’t think pirates like ninjas. Pretty sure they’re at war.
*snerk*
“When I grow up, I want to be a ninja, or a fire hydrant.”
*snerk*
*giggles*
I’m starting to think that Ralph Wiggum was patterned after Joe Biden.
“I found a moon rock in my nose!”
“I like boys now!”
Have you told your not wife?
I was quoting Ralph Wiggum, weisenheimer.
Uhuh. That’s what they always say….
Which way to the Liger cage? Half-lion half-tiger. That would be cool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zOWYj59BXI here it is
Where is our booty wench?
Canuk, it’s Friday and we’re going to need more booty in here to get this party going. Call some friends! Thanks hon
I’m here, I’m here. Just got to work. I’ll see what I can do about rounding up some other booty wenches.
I’m not a booty wench, but I am a Canuck – may I join in please?
You hardly need to point out the Canuck part — the politeness always clues us in.
I’m here–just handed in my final grades. Yay! But I can’t decide if I should capture booty or shake it!
I’ll shake your booty for you, it’s the least I can do.
Yay! My son has his last final this morning, and his friend’s dad has to proctor this afternoon (he teaches at their school), so I’m bringing them home for video games and food…a lot of food!
And we’re going to a xmas party tonight, so the semester is ending well!
Congrats on finishing! I do believe it’s [alcoholic beverage of your choice] time! :smilie with party hat:
i’m still at work… but can it be “[alcoholic beverage of your choice] time” for me too?
i’m ready to go home anyway… so if they send my ass home i might just thank them.
*rummages in liquor cabinet* Um, sure. What were you looking for? Not too many choices here, but I do know that Green Beard has some ‘lovely’ screech.
No, No, No, NOT the Screech. Seriously, don’t touch that stuff!! My second job is in a liquor store, I can get you whatever you need. Just don’t touch the Screech!
jack daniels and some sour mix and some grenadine.
if i’m getting sent home from work it’s from getting hammered. and triple jack and sours with a splash of grenadine go down smooth and do the job (getting hammered) quickly.
mojito: lime juice, a little sugar, some run, and soda water over a little crushed mint. (My garden is a source for the mint!)
Crown Special Reserve?
Some Bombay Sapphire, please. I have the tonic and limes already. Oooh, or a bottle of Hendricks if it’s available.
Captain and Coke for me please. (simple girl, simple pleasures).
*checks desk* Never mind. I already have some. Thanks anyway.
:Frantically writing down all the orders: Okay, I think I’ve got everything!
Wait…why is the booty wench taking drink orders? Shouldn’t we have a beer wench for that?
Are you still taking orders for booty? I like mine shaken, not stirred.
I can shake and take drink orders. :shakes booty at Steve a little harder, Steve goes into trance:
Beer. Beer good. Rando like beer.
Rando no like dark beer. Dark tastes…dark. Rando like wheat beer, but while at Blues game last night found Bud Light acceptable. Feel free to make the “piss water” jokes here, but remember, every time you insult an Anheuser-Busch product, a St. Louisan catches the swine flu. It’s a proven fact.
Aw.
I don’t want Rando to catch the pig! I’m sure there’s some ale or something in the cabinet. *rummages about* Look! Sam Adams wheat! Sorry, but there will be none of that stuff we’re not going to insult. Too many calories in any kind of beer for me not to drink the absolute best I can find. 
But I share!
Yeah, we St. Louisans are fiercely protective of our brewery…since it pretty much props up the entire city’s economy.
And I support any responsible corporation that supports so many people! We don’t want to export our beer jobs.
I think I may single handedly be responsible for causing a large portion of St Louis catching swine flu. :/
Apparently on Christmas Eve at my wife’s work they will sometimes get totally plastered before leaving the office. Her job is AWESOME.
Doesn’t that happen everywhere?
My work:
Plastered people + heavy machinery = BAD STUFF
New England winters + plastered people = population control. Whether underage or legal-age drinking, it tends to result in frostbite, confusion in the woods, and one guy’s body being found in the city after a snowbank finally melted.
Froo, now I want to know if you can get a chicken drunk. THAT would funny.
I’ve never tried, LOL. But now I’m going to.
I did get my dog drunk once. He’s a Jack Russell, so he’s a little nuts anyway. We figured out that he liked peach schnappes, so we filled up a margarita glass with schnappes and set it down for him to drink. He’d make a lap in the living room, then drink a little. Then make a lap, then drink a little more. By the time he made about ten laps he was running sideways. He tried to jump onto the couch and slammed into the side. By the end of the night he was laid out in the middle of the living room, his tongue hanging out, and his eyes all googly. He woke up about 10 hours after that, staggered down the front steps to the grass, and peed for about 5 minutes straight. We laughed. A lot
I have a friend who lets his dog drink when camping, this dog would be an alcoholic if he could be. I set down a tankard of beer for 30 seconds to grab something out of my tent, come back out and find the dog snout deep in my tankard and half the beer is gone.
i don’t know about chickens, but neighbors of my grandfather used to feed their mash to pigs to dispose of it – made for some falling down happy pigs and a lack of evidence if the revenuers came poking around
“How to for Dummies: How to tell if your neighbors are making moonshine”
Step 1: Are their pigs drunk?
Is Canadian politeness kinda like Minnesota nice here in the upper midwest of the US? Around here, when a store clerk says “Have a nice day” it’s hard to say if what they really mean is “I got your money, now get the F*** outta my store.”
If you have a booty, you’re in!
Agreed!
Well done canuck! You really did a nice job here.
*watches all the shakin’ booty with a happy mesmerized stare*
Is it too late to join the booty party?
Absolutely not, Mina, you have a fabulous booty….not that I’ve been, you know, looking or anything…
:gropes Mina:
*shakes booty* Yay! It’s finally Friday!
I am so stalking this whole thing!
Been checking out your technique, Mina.
Which one- the stalking or the booty shaking?
Methinks both are worth a look…
If he can see me stalking him often enough to pick up on my technique, I’m doing something wrong. That’s the only reason I wanted to know.
I could be… a little bit…NINJA!!!!
And the booty shaking is magnificent!
Please continue.
*gulp*
*continues booty shaking*
If you’re party ninja, then I don’t feel so incompetent as a stalker.
*ahem* Part ninja. Sorry, a little too much Captain in me at the moment.
*Hires Walker Texas Ranger to guard against Party Ninjas*
I’m a party ninja.
*ninjas the party* Muahaha!
Not really related: That Ninja > Pirate shirt being advertised today. I find that offensive as Pirates are obviously superior and help reduce global warming. Ninja just aren’t environmentally conscious. Seriously; all ninja do is run into Chuck Norris’ roundhouse (his leg is a ninja magnet of awesome and muscle, donchaknow). Pirates, though, pirates sail the sea and fix all your island government’s problems before taking one of your citizens into their crew. Because they’re socially conscious, too.
I felt this was a proper PK discussion. Besides, I’m sure Biden is somehow involved.
I’m waiting for a revised graph in the wake of ClimateGate ™. Until then, I’m forced to assume the Pastafarians were in on the scam.
YE BEST BE TROLLIN’, YE LAND-LUBBIN’ NINJA SCALAWAG!
“Don’t vote for McCain,” they said.
“You’ll get a total dunce for a VP,” they said.
Stupid me…I voted for McCain…and got a total dunce for a VP.
Next time, I’ll Listen.
(Palin/Whoever 2012!)
LOL! Palin 2010? LOL!
any year really, but i meant 2012. I would rather have a dunce as VP than president.
As a non-American, in a certain way I kind of hope that Palin does run. One option, she loses in the most crushing landslide ever, which means big laughs for everyone with a brain. Other option, she wins and everyone with a brain has I-told-you-so rights for four years as she blunders her way through the worst presidency ever, only to quit in February of 2016 because American doesn’t deserve a lame duck president.
But yet, we get a “lame duck” president, from November to January, every time the administration changes. Go figure.
My point was that she quite governin’ because Alaska didn’t deserve a lame duck governor, so how farfetched is it to believe that she might do the same thing as president? Yeah, yeah, pretty far-fetched I know, but this was a joke.
If only our lame duck presidents were restricted to that time window.
I would seriously be of the opinion that the Republican party has completely lost its marbles if they chose Palin to be on the ticket at all in any role ever again.
i’ve not been voting for a lot of years, but i tend to vote republican. if they put that nit-wit at the top of the ticket… i’ll vote for just about ANYONE else. i’d vote for freaking al franken (*shudder*) before her.
as VP i think she could have been ok. but as president? fecking disaster waiting to happen.
Outside of her crazy ass fanatical followers, who on earth still thinks she has any credibility after what she’s done?
I.. Can’t believe I agree with parks.
Lol Palin.
BWAHAHAHAHA! Palin/Whoever 2012! Yeah, let’s elect someone who is gonna quit when things don’t go her way.
People are okay with this. Yet somehow, if you made the exact same caption with a picture of Obama saying:
“Dear diary, Today is my first day in the White House and I am very excited. Joe said if I am good he will take me to the zoo. That would be cool. I like tigers.”
…people woulf flip out and claim “racism”.
Why?
Maybe it wouldn’t be racist, but it wouldn’t be funny either. Few people view Obama as an idiot. Love him or hate him, agree with him or disagree with him…he knows what he’s doing. He’s not dumb. I’m not saying what he’s doing is good or right (he does have the lowest end-of-the-first-year approval rating of any president in recent history), I’m just saying he’s not clueless. Whether he’s making things better or messing things up, he’s doing it knowingly.
That’s a scary thought.
So since he’s pushing through a Health Care agenda most of the public doesn’t want, he continuously asks for sacrafice from the American public while NOT sacraficing himself, alienates about 45% of the population with his agenda, took only 6 months during the most turmultuous time in Afghanastan (since the start of the war) to decide what to do…. so either he is clueless or too egotistical that he knows what best for millions of people?
Hush, ILPB — you’re forgetting The Narrative ™. Obama is playing 11-dimensional chess while the rest of us are stuck on checkers, and in his all-encompassing vision, health care is the first step to our American utopia. Until it actually appears, of course, and then he instantly switches from chess master to innocent, victimized bystander. (Apologies to Greenwald.)
And how dare you say he hasn’t sacrificed — he moved into public housing, didn’t he? *ducks*
Thank you, that cracked me up when I needed a laugh!
*throws marshmallow peeps at Dhoti*
Wait, what?
*grabs Dhoti’s ducks and runs away giggling*
Hee hee hee!! Duck for dinner!
Duck season! FIRE!
*roasts duck over Rando’s fire*
Thanks Rando. Mt. Dew? *holds out Mt. Dew*
Suh-weet! *guzzles Mt. Dew*
You’re despicable.
No mo buwwets! /fudd
The “most of the public doesn’t want it” part is pretty much up to which poll you’re reading and they’re biased on both sides of the aisle. There are just as many reputable polling agencies saying 2/3 or more of the US is all for health care reform with a strong public option as there are similarly reputable agencies saying the american public doesn’t want anything at all to do with health care reform, at least in the way it looks in the bill now. I can’t believe I agree with Darth Cheney on this one, but I don’t pay much attention to polls. The only poll that counts is an election.
As for the Afghanistan thing, he made it pretty clear that not a single option that any of his advisors handed him had troops even training for deployment prior to 2010. Now you could say he should have demanded action sooner, but then he’d be going against the generals on the ground and isn’t that what people have been b****ing about lately? I think he made the right choice. If you’re going to take 30k soldiers away from their families for a year or more each and spend $1M each to send them, you damn well better take every last second you have to make sure you’re doing it right.
On top of that everyone complains he’s dithering after 6 months but no one even mentions that the prior administration sat on it for seven years while they squandered every last ounce of international credibility on a pointless war with a dictator Osama hated almost more than he hated us (for the uninformed, Saddam was a secular leader of a Muslim nation which Osama found particularly abhorrent). Seven years they spent with afghanistan not even on the radar screen after the initial commitment of troops.
I don’t believe Obama is some kind of puppet master overseeing the whole scene. Heck, the lefty radio and tv talking heads don’t either. But the narrative of the bungling delayer the other folks like to push has just as little merit.
We disagree on so much, and yet, your comment is full of win. WTG!
Not racist, no, but certainly bemusing and, quite honestly, stupid. There would be absolutely no context for a lol of that nature.
Shhh, Rattus. You’re killing his/her belief that everybody on PK is a durty liburl and thinks Obama is god. Stop with the logic! You ruin the prejudice!!
Who would call it racist? Biden has the stereotype of being an idiot, not Obama. It wouldn’t make any sense your way.
I’m still not getting the Biden=Idiot meme that seems to be developing. I thought it was “Biden needs to install a regulator between his brain and his mouth”? I’ve not heard that he’s a dim bulb; in fact, his record as a legislator reasonably solid. He just needs to, you know, *think* before he speaks.
/$.02
But does $.02 = .02 cents?
Is that American, Canadian, or Australian money your using?
Isn’t it true for all of them?
Yeah, but the value is different. Two Canadian cents aren’t worth the same as two American cents which are also different from two Australian cents.
Don’t think that affects the invalidity of the equation.
I’m not arguing the validity of the question, I want to know what I’m going to be able to buy with this two cents/$.02!
Ah. Not much in any of the three currencies, I’m afraid. But if we all pool our $.02, then we could buy something really nice.
I head the money was Belgian.
*heard*
It’s developing in the same way that Quayle’s idiocy was established….he doesn’t think before he speaks, he sounds like an idiot when he speaks, so therefore, any solid legislating he might have done before he got on the stage where his lack of a brain/mouth filter became known is now null and void.
Remember, a lifetime of good can be wiped out by one statement
I like to eat pandas and fukc their babies!
*watches a lifetime of good deeds go up in flames*
I kicked a puppy!
In your defense, that puppy was a real douche.
Little bastard kept misusing “your” instead of “you’re”, and saying “PIN number.” I had to kick him.
I was thinking you were Korean and were tenderizing him before eating.
That’s very true. Anyone want a potatoe? Don’t misunderestimate my potatoe cooking skills. I’ve been making them since before the stock market crashed and Franklin Roosevelt got on the television…
I agree, PM. That’s been my view of Biden since Obama named him his VP candidate last year. He clearly doesn’t think before speaking far too often unfortunately.
I don’t think he’s stupid, but it makes for some funny LOLs.
And at the zoo, maybe we can haz cheezburgers?
You can say he’s an idiot… but then you’d have to wonder about the person who picked him for VP.
Well, it’s like fat people. Always hang around people fatter than you so you look skinny.
It’s insurance, much like when Quayle was VP. Who the hell is gonna try to kill Obama if BIDEN is gonna replace him? It’s absolute GENIUS!
Win.
Maybe, maybe not. My point was merely that I don’t understand those that praise Obama and put down Biden… I mean, if you dislike the latter so much… wouldn’t you then question the genius who placed Biden in the position he’s in? Whose the bigger idiot… the idiot, or the guy who gave the idiot any amount of power and position. I say that about any Prez/VP combo and do not intend it distinctly as a criticism of anyone… just curious about the logic.
can i have a basement cat i wanna take ova the world
You can’t even keep your room clean and you think were going to let you have a basement cat and a planet?!
for me i would like to back ride in the Ostrich after my work:D
Biden! I thought we told you not to play on the computer without supervision!
These pictures make him sound so cute. I wanna hug him. Adorable!!
I can just imagine Obama during the campaign:
Advisors: You need a VP.
Obama: Who’ve we got?
Advisors: Clinton and Biden.
Obama: That’s it? That’s all I’ve got?
Advisors: Pretty much.
Obama: Do I really have to have VP?
Advisors: Yup.
Obama: Alright, go with Biden at least he won’t complain much if put him in a closet for four years and let him out every now and then for an airplane ride.