Next time….. Let’s invade Florida
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First?
(Also, Florida is evil. Please don’t invade it.)
Florida ( /ˈflɒrɪdə/ (help·info)) is a state located in the southeastern region of the United States, bordering Alabama to the northwest and Georgia to the north. It was the 27th state admitted to the United States. Much of the land mass of the state is a large peninsula with the Gulf of Mexico to the west, and the Atlantic Ocean to the east.
It is nicknamed the “Sunshine State” because of its generally warm climate—subtropical in the northern and central regions of the state, with a true tropical climate in the southern portion.[5] The state has four large urban areas, a number of smaller industrial cities, and many small towns. The United States Census Bureau estimates that the state population was 18,328,340 in 2008, ranking Florida as the fourth most populous state in the U.S.[6][7] Tallahassee is the state capital, Jacksonville is the largest city, and the Miami metropolitan area
Yay!
It is also, as previously stated, evil. Sadly, Wikipedia won’t let me add that.
thats only because of all the old people and money down here. rich people and old people never want anything good to happen to other people so they vote in those that will ensure that.
thats great…-throws up colored bits of paper- yeay!
You weren’t meant to eat those
Dammit, Sqwirk, you’re not supposed to make me laugh!
Well played, Jew.
I mean Max..
You know what’s great? Living in NC. The reason being that there’s this rule I’ve heard of. The rule states when you meet a Jew, you find out they’re Jewish within 5 minutes of meeting them because it comes up in conversation somehow. My friends, don’t like to leave that to chance, because when I’m introduced to other people it goes like this “This is Max… he’s Jewish.” so I get to leave that part off my “Hello my name is…” nametag.
*sighs* Makes me think of my mother. Anytime she meets or hears of someone new, she wants to know their ethnicity–immediately!
I used to have fun with people like your mother. I’d make up an eastern European country and say I’m from there. Once that’s established, any pet peeves immediately become cultural mores
It’s great watching people squirm when they’ve “offended your ancestors.”
In graduate school we used to do this to people who asked what our sign was: we’d lie and listen to them explain how we matched that sign, then say, oh, so that’s what people in [our birth month] are like? Then watch them backtrack as they realized they had the wrong sign.
I know, it was evil, but what did they expect, saying things like that in the Astronomy building?
But I intend to use Max’s plan the next chance I get.
As a Moldovian native I resent your implication that my behaviors are regulated by this western zodiac of yours. In old country behavior is determined my the time of day you are born, not this ridiculous month system you seem to have.
By daylight savings or standard time?
Daylight is not for saving. Daylight is for working!
“I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay
I sleep all night and work all day.”
And now for something completely different….
Oh and I’m calling Monty Python Godwin on Mabs!
Good show ole dearie!
But…I didn’t know there was a Monty Python Godwin…just the Nazi one. *headdesk* And now I’ve done that!
Well You can call it Silverhammer’s law then… Since I don’t think there is one… until now!
Max, as a transplanted resident of Malta, I resemble that remark and you have offended my ancestors thoroughly.
There is a Monty Python Godwin? How does one run afoul of it? By invoking the great dead parrot?
ZOMG Charro… you’re…. uɐıssnɹ!!
Well it’s not so much a like Godwin in that, when the Monty Python reference is invoked, there is much rejoicing!
*yaaay*
The parrot is just resting.
No no I’m from Malta. Can’t you read?!
I thought Silverhammer’s law was bang bang make sure she’s dead?
It’s “bang bang” something for sure..
La petite mort
There don’t seem to be many Jews in my area. I once entered a bar to meet up with my “friends,” who burst into a spontaneous chorus of hava nagila upon my arrival. If only I could hora…
Yeeeeeah, if that happened here, I’d get quite a few stares for the rest of the night, and not the amiable “come hither” stares either….
Well, that’s downright unneighborly.
Obviously the only solution is to move away from them. SD isn’t bad. We don’t have many of your type ’round these parts, but we don’t mind the ones we’ve got.
We’ll obviously have to take up a collection to get Max a pickup with a gun rack and shotgun and dog in the back so he’ll fit in and get the proper stares.
(Okay, we actually put a gun rack in our friends’ Volvo wagon because they were going to visit some very redneck town in Texas. I’m not sure it was totally appreciated, but we didn’t have a hunting dog.)
I should wear a cowboy hat and claim to be a Jewish Cattle Wrangler…. That’d be awesome.
Are the Jewish cattle the circumcised ones? And who has to check?
Of course they are, and it’s the gentiles who check/do the circumcising because otherwise the Jews would risk touching blood which is unclean.
You’d have to ask the Hebrew National guys about that… I’m not sure what Jewish cattle even looks like… probably have a bigger snout and lots of gas..
well max, you’ve definitely piqued my interest… save a horse, ride a cowboy and all that. i don’t know about Jewish wranglers, but we’ve got lots of synagogues and cowboys out this way,
Any riding of Max must be approved by me first. I require forms done in triplicate a month in advance of the actual riding. Or you can just take off your clothes.
*takes off clothes*
Well, that’s certainly lovely dear, but I assumed your Max riding license was still current.
Wherein They Worship a Giant Stone Owl, Sacrificing a Human Being in Effigy to What They Call the “Great Owl of Bohemia.”
ORLY
”
It was homosexual, and it had to be cleaned out. That’s what’s happened to Britain. It happened earlier to France.
Let’s look at the strong societies. The Russians. Goddamn, they root ‘em out. They don’t let ‘em around at all. I don’t know what they do with them. Look at this country. You think the Russians allow dope?
”
That was a real president.
Martin Sheen. Now that was a fake president.
Hey, I live in Florida! This state is as blue as it is red. Um… purple, then? (Fitting, with Disney!)
Pink and purple?
Pink and purple? Striped? Like the cheshire cat? ^^
Let’s invade cancun!!
I’m with you. Mexican beer, lime and all the fish tacos you can eat.
Fewer Mexicans there than in the US too !!
If this GoreBull Warming thing gets any worse, we’ll need to hit Cancun to avoid frostbite.
We dont need to invade US, we have China on our side, we’ve already won that war.
I beg your pardon, but the Chinese are on *their* side. If anything, you’ll be left clapping and cheering, saying “Our asian overlords won! Hurray, we’ll be crushed under the oppressive heel of impersonal market forces led by Chinese businessmen instead of American businessmen! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!”
China will never expand it’s borders, and I think in the end that will prohibit true economic dominance, at least for the long haul.
Invade Europe.
China is poor and only owns US government debt, we dicatate the terms there.
Europeans own or control 30% of our top corporations and are richer than us.
Kill all the men who can’t cook tho?
Keep the ones who can bbq, too.
What about the ones who can rustle up a nice breakfast?
I CAN RUSTLE UP A NICE BREAKFAST PLEASE SPARE ME!!!! I make awesome scrambled eggs!!!
It’s okay. VG has issued amnesty for all who can make good breakfast. Of course, we’ll need proof.
Yes, but how are your pancakes?
*deer in headlights look*
Uh, sure, they’re great, yeah.
Wasn’t breakfast, but I just had Peanut Butter French Toast, with real maple syrup.
*yummy*
cereal or left over pizza don’t quite count as breakfast, but if you’ve got one who can cook an omlet on the bbq, that’s a keeper
Screw that I can make soup on a bbq!
Right down to the grill marks in the soup!
….I..uh..I’m not hungry at the moment. Yeah, I thought I was but…well…I’ll just have a light snack *backs away slowly*
then as far as i’m concerned, you’re head fancy-pants chef-dude for life
hey now, we have rules about that. does he have his onion card?
*onions are better than unions*
Yeah, french union soup really isn’t that great.
What other foods can you ‘make’ without torching them?
I don’t make pies. Pie crust bores me. I make cheesecakes.
mmmmm cheesecake-bitter drools-
I buy premade pie crusts. Though I don’t really make that much pie. I prefer cookies and cakes and brownies.
I also like cookies. But making your own pie crust actually isn’t that hard if, you have Cuisinart
Oh I know how to make pie crust (and if I ever bought one I think my mother would murder me in my sleep) I just don’t like doing it when a cheesecake is so much easier to make and a billion times more delicious.
Even cheesecake crust is infinitely better than regular pie crust.
You obviously just haven’t been stimulated by the right pie chef…
*puts on his chef hat*
To the kitchen dear! We have much…. culinary work to do…
*puts a “Do no Disturb” doorhanger on the knob*
I think we are going to have to rename PK as ‘Pie Kitchen’.
Ick. I hate hot weather. Let’s invade… California. Preferably somewhere like Berkley.
I think you mean humid weather.
No. I dislike both.
I do however enjoy weather that is considered my ass just fell off cold by most people’s standards. 
OMG I so desperately hate winter. It’s getting colder and colder here and I hate it so much.
Berkley would be a wasted effort, those people would probably help.
Probably. That is probably true.
-lil news people music-
This just in, “president” barack HUSSAIN obama had a sandwich for lunch today, thousands of teabagging teabaggers marched on washinton to protest the cost it took to make the sandwich…did he really need that extra slice of cheese? cheese the american people paid for? he used YOUR money to make his sandwich, now eats it with a grin…grinning at YOU america..laughing…mocking you with his sandwiching. here is bitter troll on the scene
thanks bitter troll, bitter troll is here outside the whitehouse while potesters teabag each other over the sandwichgate. lets ask his lady teabagging with her brother what she thinks
-holds up sign that reads- we pay fer your sandwich, but have no sandwich of my own.
” its degraceful it is, the way he chews so many times before swallowing it…he must be some sort of eletist commie..how many times he chews…jesus didnt chew that many times…”
good point ma’am…how many times DID jesus chew? would he of teabagged? back to you bitter troll
thank you bitter troll for that on the scene report…next sports, troll football..why the live pig might be replaced with a seed shaped ball..creepy
And now messages from our sponsors!
*Bitter Troll dancing around in a snuggie commercial*
BT… I lurvs you.
Ooh, does that mean we can have a threesome?
only if he calls bitter troll burt reynolds
Don’t we always?
AHEM. Don’t you mean foursome? *stern look*
or we can just go woman swapping-nods-
Or just let the women go at it for a while. That’s fun too.
Well there you are darling! I was beginning to think you didn’t want to join in on the fun!
Good save, Max.
Well it’s no fun when she’s only holding the camera!
I was sledding! That’s what people do in Winter. And then I went somewhere I could get hot chocolate with Bailey’s in it.
You weren’t here. I was waiting for you. It was a surprise. You ruined the surprise.
Surprise! We’re naked and waiting for you!
did you bring us any hot coacoa too?
Awww… I love naked surprises. Let me just make us some cocoa.
Давайте вторгнуться Флорида! Ура! Давайте шагать gloriful улицам размахивая своими флагами, как оформлены Стрелки пирсинга лунном небе!!!
Those probably weren’t even Russians, they have the hat, look, ok damnet they’re Russians. Why are they wearing that pin anyway? It looks so… Tsarist. I thought those guys were beheaded by Lenin…
Maybe this is the “before picture” – right before the beheading.
What? This many comments and no one made a World In Conflict joke?
Daylight is not for saving. Daylight is for working!
Um…yes. I said that. Up there a ways. ^^^
can i join your gang what are the entry rquirements? i can remember stuff! lets invade france its big we would all fit , tho the childeren would taste of garlic?
Considering Florida has spent the past few weeks in a deep freeze, and Central Florida had it’s first (“major”) snowfall since 1977, I think the sun would be a better bet.