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Dear ticket holders;
Mr. Clinton regrets having to reschedule tonight’s speaking engagement due to an urgent personal matter.
(Bill Clinton)
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: jacques_merde via Advanced Lol Builder
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Someone please explain.
Really? Ok….the implication is that he’s going to go have sex with the woman who has the blue furry scarf, instead of giving his speech. That’s….pretty much the extent of it. It’s not the funniest ever.
That’s it? Well I knew about his reputation of having sex with every woman who’d agree, but I wouldn’t have figured out this attempt at humor was about this…
Also, does anyone still find jokes about Bill Clinton funny? It seems old to me…
So do Bush jokes, but hey, you work with what you got…
“Clinton is a horndog” jokes will always be funny.
No they won’t.
Yes they will.
Wabbit Season!!!!
Duck Season!!!!!!!!!
Care-troll season!!!
DUCK SEASON! FIRE!!!
It’s not funny at all. If it said, “Mr. Clinton regrets having to reschedule tonight’s speaking engagement due to him getting herpes from this chick.” THEN it would at least be a little funny.
First there was the big bang…then the earth cooled…life sprung forth from the seas….dinosaurs roamed….man walked out of africa….a few wars later and bill clinton is accused of having ‘sexual relations’ with monica lewinsky….some posts a lol refering to bill calling off an speaking engagement because he mets a beautiful girl….the world ends in 2012….
…And now you will never need to take another history class again.
But I want to learn about what’s in those ellipses. Please? Like empires and such! Because… You know I want to rule the world, and you must learn from history so as not to make the same mistakes.
Hey! Don’t bogart my job lady!
*nods* He has to keep me in style, after all.
You’ll always be in style Janie love.
…But that’s not important right now!
What can you make out of this, Johnny?
Is it just me, or does the girl in the background seem to have noticed something just out of shot?
This woman (in Norway) was there with her school class (she was a teacher) and she got her own tv show because B.C. said hello to her. But that was many years ago and nobody knows where she is today…
Under his desk ? ( ba da boom!)
Hehe….maybe you dont know where she is. But she is still on TV here in Norway. She is one of the hosts on a TV-show called Studio Fem. And she is the chief editor of the Norwegian Cosmo magazine. Her name is Ingeborg Heldal.
And yes she is a teacher. But after she said hello to Clinton her career took of.
Har ikke Fem og leser ikke Cosmo, derfor vet jeg ikke hvor hun er…
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
A møøse ønce bit my sister.
See the løveli lakes
En englais, por favor?
‘I don’t get ‘Five’ and don’t read Cosmo so I don’t know where she is’ (I think)..
Oh, I didn’t know you spoke Spanish!
Da, je parlamo molto gut.
Her hair’s not big enough…
child stares at the Clinton monument rising 1_1
hmmmmm I would approve of that. Go Bill
Clinton = manhoe.
bad president too.
We’ve had worse since
Maybe, but I choose to hold my opinion of Obama until at least the end of year 2.
I don’t. I’m ready to give him C+ at this point. Still a big improvement over Dubya, but he’s got a lot of work ahead of him before he’ll even rate the B- I give Clinton.
Regan = A
Donald Regan, former Secretary of the Treasury, or Gerald Regan, former premier of Nova Scotia (and father of Nancy Regan)?
Ronald Regan, #1 Cold War Warrior.
Come on y’all are just jealous that the only “Great Democrat President” you had would be considered a womanizing, corrupt SOB in today’s world. 
Maybe you mean Ronald Reagan?
As for Clinton, I voted for Dole in ’96. I have a stellar voting record. If you include my votes in elementary and high school, I voted for: Ford in ’76 (Carter won), Carter in ’80 (Reagan won), Mondale in ’84 (ditto), Dukakis in ’88 (GHW Bush won), Clinton in ’92 (!), Dole in ’96 (Clinton won), Gore in ’00 (GW Bush), Kerry in ’04 (GW Bush), and Obama in ’08 (!). Given that record, it was tempting to vote for McCain in ’08, but I suspect fate doesn’t like having tricks played on it.
Dude look at whom you were voting for….
Ford was Ok (Hindsight better than Carter)
You voted for Carter AFTER he’d been in office. That’s just WOW, I mean Wow….
Mondale? Dude REALLY? REALLY?
Dukakis even after the whole Tank thing?
Clinton I can understand, GW Senior had kinda not been great.
Gore…. either or that elections was hosed. Plus Gore’s a prick.
Kerry, REALLY?!?! The man is SCAREY looking, and a prick.
Obama – See whatcha getting?
Carter was a man of integrity, if that counts for anything. Compare him to Ronald “I don’t recall” Reagan, and he comes out smelling like roses in my book. I’m still amazed at how many people credit Reagan for freeing the hostages…
Mondale: again, compared to Reagan…
Dukakis: do you really base you voting decisions on photo-ops?
Gore: my ideal candidate – he loves the environment, but also respects technology. Of course, if he had gotten elected, I’m sure he would’ve disappointed me in one way or the other, but he would’ve been a hell of a lot better than Bush. Heck, Bush disappointed me, and I had very low expectations to begin with!
Kerry: did not like, but seemed a lot better than Bush.
Obama: he has disappointed me on several fronts (most notably DADT, which should’ve been so easy to fix), but I knew he would. McCain might not have disappointed me, but only because it would’ve been very hard for him to do so. Of course, if he hadn’t disappointed me, he probably would’ve upset you even more.
I give some credit to Reagan for freeing the hostages. It was simple, they realized that Reagan wouldn’t play their stupid games, would probably kill them and half the hostages to prove said point. What I credit Reagan with is bringing down the USSR and it’s friends.
I’m actually glad Bush was in office for 9/11. I fear what Gore’s reaction would have been. Watching Gore these last 8 years go more and more insane, worries me on how he’d handle true diversity (not just losing a Presidential Election).
But Democrats are excellent at handling diversity. It’s Republicans that aren’t so good at it (excluding Steele).
(The word you were looking for is adversity. And, lest you think I’ve been picking on you too harshly for simple mistakes, yes, yes I have been.
I make those kinds of mistakes myself.)
Alright then adversity…. Gore didn’t handle it so well, no did he? (Awaiting answer as you did standard operating procedures from liberal guidebook of avoiding question and attacking delivery).
I’d say he handled it pretty well, but I guess I’m not sure what adversity you’re referring to. The only thing I can think of is him gaining weight and growing a beard after losing the election. Surely that’s not what your referring to, is it?
(Awaiting answer as you did standard operating procedures from POLITICIANS guidebook of avoiding question and attacking delivery).
There. I fixed it for you.
“What I credit Reagan with is bringing down the USSR and it’s friends.”
The fall of the USSR was the inevitable result of U.S. policies going all the way back to Eisenhower. Reagan just happened to be in office when the last straw fell on the camel’s back.
Testing gravatar…
Also, if you read this, ILPB, let me know if I still failed to answer your question.
Agreed, crediting Reagan for freeing the hostages is like saying Taiwanese caning deters graffiti.
Wilson….Roosevelt….Johnson
I don’t get it, which one is the womanizer?
Roosevelt, actually…
Wilson was horrible. Didn’t even enter into the the Treaties he created. He helped along the wonderful little thing called WWII, b/c he was hypocritical.
Roosevelt was a womanizer, not really the best President until the War came around. His New Deal is still sapping at the middle class of this country.
Johnson: Joking right? The man who escalated a war and didn’t give the troops the necesary direction and weapons to win the war.
Speaking of Wilson, here’s an interesting fact to consider: despite the Democratic party cultivating an image of being the more peace-loving of the two parties, our involvement in both World Wars was under Democratic presidents. If you combine this with the Republican party cultivating an image of being fiscally responsible while sitting over the largest increases in federal deficits (not including Obama), or their cultivation of being the party of family values (’nuff said), a pattern begins to develop…
“The man who escalated a war and didn’t give the troops the necesary direction and weapons to win the war.”
I didn’t realize Johnson was involved in Iraq.
“His New Deal is still sapping at the middle class of this country”
That’s more a matter of political and economic opinion. There’s just as many qualified economists who feel the New Deal was great for the country. Just because they don’t get interviews on the channels you watch doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Aremis: HA HA, it was called Vietnam, where thousands more died than have in Iraq. But then again you probably think Vietnam was a Republican war.
I’m sorry, but Social Security is not successful, and whom does it hit the most Middle Class. So yes the New Deal is still sapping the Middle Class.
Please Aremis, tell me what Channels I do watch since you know me so well.
I blame the French for Vietnam. Not because they’re necessarily at fault, but just because it’s so damn convenient…
Wait Wha?!?!? A liberal not blaming a war on Republicans? This is absurd….. I’ll take your liberal card please.
You’ll note that above I point out that it seems the majority of wars were started by Democrats, just as Republicans have contributed the most to deficits.
I know **still holds out hand for Liberal Card**
*hides liberal card behind moderate card*
It’s nice having a full deck.
(Yes, I even have a conservative card that I pull out every so often.)
“I blame the French for Vietnam” – Well that’s fair on one level, but on another it’s actually the USA’s fault, not for losing, but for almost forcing France into keeping their Asian colonies when France wanted to give them independance back in the 1940s.
I don’t blame Vietnam on Republicans. And I also don’t always agree with Democrats, even when I voted for them. Actually, comments in prior LOLs back that up (though I don’t expect you to have read them all, it would be rather unreasonable to assume). My apologies for assuming your viewing habits. You assumed my opinions on Vietnam, also incorrectly. Touche.
As for Social Security, it’s problematic, sure, but a lot of people, even non-freeloaders in Reagan’s parlance, rely on it in place of the ever-vanishing pensions and the market-decimated 401k’s. There will be enough to pay for benefits 100% until 2040 or so and there will still be benefit payouts after that at reduced levels provided we don’t fix or scrap the program. Frankly, it seems like a rather successful social program to me. It’s not perfect, far from it. There’s no reason it should ever have to cut benefits, even 30 years down the road. But even at reduced rates, those benefits are better than the $0 we garaunteed our seniors and disabled workers before that.
My mother, who is a conservative and would never have dreamed of voting for Obama or FDR had she been alive, was forced from her job due to health problems. Had she not had Social Security disability benefits, she would have lost the house. Of course, she complains that she doesn’t get enough, and I agree with her. But I don’t particularly understand how an underperforming program that still provides a lot of benefit for those who’d otherwise be screwed, is somehow failed.
I don’t think there is a single social program in the United States that is perfect. In fact many, including some of the biggest and most obvious, are pretty heavily flawed. The difference between me and the conservative viewpoint has more to do with what to do about it. I think Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, etc are all on solid enough footing that they can be fixed. The conservative viewpoint trends more toward, “it’s broken, get rid of it.”
They have plenty of direction, men and weapons to win the war.
What they don’t have is the freedom to wage war. The way we force them to fight is comparable to how the British fought the revolutionary war.
Without taking into account the impact of what how he started….
He hasn’t accomplished anything yet, let alone anything he promised. The only things that can be credited to his administration is promising to provide money to China for climate change projects with no guarantees, gave up a European anti-missle defense system on the same day as Iran fired its new long range (as in Europe) missles.
This on top of a 2.9 trillion dollar deficit which includes increasing the supply of physical dollars by 120%. The total Bush deficit for both terms was only 4 trillion including the wars (although I would also count losing the Clinton surplus against him)
I really want to be open minded, but this is hardly a C+.
Well At least PK is doing relevant and modern jokes. Not like they’re using jokes from over ten years ago or anything.
Well why don’t you go ahead and insult my mom now, too?
Your mom wears combat boots!
And your father smells of elderberries. Now flee before I taunt you again.
*in snooty french accent*
Now go away or I will taunt you a second time-ah!
Sorry, had to fix that for you.
*in snootier frenchier accent*
I fart in your general direction!
*in snootiest Frenchiest accent*
Honh honh honh! Sacre Bleu!
Nice to know how to spell “Honh honh honh!”. I’ve always wondered!
[whispered] Fechez la vache.
Yo momma so fat her belt size is equator!
Yo momma’s so fat, she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington’s nose !
Yo momma so poor, when I saw her kickin’ a can down the street and asked what she was doin’, she said she was movin’!
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo Mama’s so fat her Blood type is “Ragu”
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!
Yo momma so fat the Michelin Man is suing her for copyright infringement.
Yo momma so fat, when she went outside in a red dress, everyone yelled “HEY, KOOL-AID!”
OH YEAH!
It appears I don’t need to.
He is not looking at her. She is not looking at him.
FAIL!
If Bill actually looked at the women he banged I’m pretty sure he’d be celibate.
so true, there is that flaw in his vision. there is the adage of ugly women needing loving too and being greatful, but somehow it still comes down to his need of glasses….
Look at what he married….
I’d rather not, thanks.
Umm… sorry to nitpick, but you are wrong. Twice.
No, I am not.
But, quite clearly, you are. Try not to cry.
I can see that who Clinton and the woman are looking at is a matter of great importance to biff.
I’m going to have to side with PM. He’s not looking at her face, but he is definitely looking at her. She would be looking him in the eyes if he wasn’t looking down, if he were to raise his head their gaze would meet and there would be…fireworks and music and cherubs? Something like that.
Thanks to the caption box, we can’t really see exactly what he’s looking at, but I can take a guess at what they are.
She probably has something written on her shirt and he’s just trying to read it…yeah…that’s all….
*in a harsh brooklyn accent*
You broads write da most interesting stuff on yo shirts!
Bill did not have sex with THAT woman, and he would not have had sex with THIS woman either. It was Hillary’s fault because she is not a sucker.
smooth…….ie. Bill has it.
(Sobs) Why can’t you leave it alone already! Just another example of how PK is in the bag for Obama and will do anything to distract us from his commie plot to make us purchase health insurance!
Huh huh. You said cu…um, yeah.
Family Guy:
Quagmire: I’m taking off on Quagmire’s Cross Country Tour!
Brian: Don’t you spell “country” with a “u”?
Quagmire: No!
Quagmire WIN!!!
yayyyy
Giggety goo.
Coupling a picture of someone shaking hands with people, with an announcement of a cancelled speaking engagement, just doesn’t work as funny, insightful, or even mean spirited. It simply doesn’t work on any level. Fail.
Nope, it works great. Totally resembles the famous Monica clip entitled “I’m just greeting this intern… whom I’ve never met before…”
Absolutely, but only because he is Bill Clinton, and she is cute.
LOL !!!! Where is everybody’s sense of humour ?? It’s a hilarious LOL (or should that be : hillaryous ?) !!!
Us Danish girls your adore Billy, always did, still do. Send the little pantysnatcher over here !!
Ooops………. syntax got lost in the drooling…….
“adore your Billy”
:0)
He came to my school during his presidency once…only I had no idea he was the president.
School Fail.
No, no, it is only a cigar! Really! …and would you be interested in purchasing this very nice antique bridge that i have in Brooklyn?
Ask Quayle.
Speaking of cigars, does anyone know how long a box of cellophane-wrapped cigars would last? I found 3/4 of a box full that had been my grandfather’s while visiting my mother. He died in 1974 or ’75. Proper old-style box, still with good closure.
Good to know!
I did think of that after I wrote that. Perfect!
If the cellophane hasn’t been punctured, they should still be OK. As long as they haven’t been stored in a dry hot place…
Like Arizona.
Now had Max said a WET hot place…
I woulda said Florida
Hmm. Then I guess my 90 year old neighbor and my BF will be getting a surprise. I am NOT giving them all to the BF, because I don’t want to smell them!
Nope. Basement in the New Jersey shore–not that hot, not that wet. Hey, you made me type ‘wet’!!
So, would Homer Simpson have a dild’oh?
I don’t know, but that’s what we say to Dildhoti, when he’s making no sense again.
Hee hee. Wet.
Dil dooooe a deer a female deer!
Ray a drop of golden suuuuuun!
Score….
*stretches languorously* That’s what I said.
*cops a feel*
*giggles* Your hands are cold!
I’ve been outside in the cold! Might you have someplace for my hands to go to get warm *leans in* Hmmmmmm?
Well, she’s looking a tid bit nipply since you copped a feel. I’m assuming this means her chest is not warm and would not be a good place to warm up. Maybe her pants are warm? You should check.