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Ever wonder how far a Jehovah’s Witness would make it before somebody would whip out the taser ?
(The White House)
These guys might have a chance.
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My guess is the front gate. Unless, there was some sort of party the JW could crash.
It’s ok, dude, we’re on the list!
Do you think I should buy or rent a suit for the occasion?
Buy it, I’ve hacked the “guest list” program so we can eat free at the White House as often as we want to!
Soooo. I should buy the suit and not rent. With all of the free meals, it will pay for itself.
Any chance you can make it automatically delete Gordon and Sarah Brown too?
Why not! I’m replacing them with Ted Nugent and Courtney Love. Should make those state dinners a leeeeetle more interesting.
can we add amy winehouse and pete doherty then? if we’re going for interesting we might as well go full bore… right?
wtf i an a jw and u ignorant retard we dont crash paries i swere u have mental issues
So says the dude with impeccable spelling and faultless grammar
This person must be one of the off-shoots. My wife’s family are all Witnesses and I can guarantee that they can all spell impeccably!
not far, everyone knows jo-jos are whack.
hey im a Jehovahs witness… dont push it
I would think that visiting a site like this would get you instantly marked…
Believe me it doesn’t
Er, you might want to skip out for the rest of this one then. It’s probably gonna get kinda ugly.
Maybe if you all didn’t go around bugging people at home all the time, you wouldn’t receive this kind of flack. As you sow, so shall you reap.
u retard sory for saving your life fine i wont visit u and u can die i dont give a dam
Thanks! Glad to make it onto the ‘do not call’ list.
But Mabs! It saved your life! I think. I mean, that’s what it looks like it is saying. Though I’m not sure why he would be giving out dams…I haven’t got any large bodies of water in need of blocking….
But what if you did have a large body of water needing to be held back DU? Ypu would probably be in desperate need of a dam.
^ ypu is spelled artistically to maintain the original tone of tuga’s message
You may have a point, it is starting to rain pretty hard….
Tuga! Come back! I might need that dam!
You want to borrow my beaver?
No thanks, I have my own.
No, no. Pretty sure I’m going to die because it’s not going to visit me. Such power! I wonder if it can do anything about my husband’s job….
How do I get on this list – please leave me alone. I can be profane and even use criticisms other than ‘retard’.
Mwuhahahaha. They only put one person on it per day. Maybe tomorrow will be your day.
*sigh* I know. But it’s just ridiculous that I have to be verbally abusive to someone just to get them to stop ringing my doorbell.
they showed up to our house on christmas morning about 15 years ago… they’ve never been back yet. something about mom answering the door holding a giant butchers knife asking if they couldn’t see the fcuking tree and lights on the outside of the house…
i guess that puts you on the “do not call” list as well.
(as an aside: i know a few perfectly “normal” JW’s. they don’t go door to door and practice their religion in privacy just like most christians/jews/etc do. you’d never know their religion unless you get into a pretty deep conversation with them. not all of them are the nuts “ringing your doorbell to preach at you” types.)
There are perfectly normal people in pretty much every religion, no matter how whacked out it might seem. We make fun of Mormons a lot on here too (btw, if you don’t capitalize Mormon, Firefox gets pissed at you), but I knew some pretty cool Mormons in high school.
I also knew some pretty weird ones who we started to make friends with…until they declared they wanted to have a threesome with my wife. How about no????
That’s okay. A friend of mine wasn’t close to the door when a group of them knocked.
Her doberman, on the other hand, was.
She hasn’t heard from them since. rofl
Dog was perfectly friendly, just huge and looked pretty scary when she barked.
and that’s half the reason i’m getting a rottweiler… they’re perfectly friendly, but a wonderful deterrent to people coming up the house unwanted.
I don’t think it was the Jw’s it was another group, but they came to my door a number of times and I told them that I couldn’t talk then, but if they came back at blank time I would love to talk. I would always schedule these meetings for when I knew I would be at work (my roomate kind of hated me after this). I did this for nearly a month with these two guys before they gave up. If they are going to waste my time, I feel that I have the moral right to waste theirs.
if it was 2 younger guys (usually white) wearing black pants, white shirts, black ties and carrying black backpacks… then they were mormons on mission.
we get lots of mormons around my neighborhood. they’re usually well meaning… doesn’t make me want to talk to them anymore than the JWs though.
I was told that the “mission” was nearly mandatory (strongly recomended) for all JW males and optional for females. I was also told by a JW work mate that they have to pay their own way the whole time they are on mission. It can be pretty costly and you have no pick in where you go. My work friend had to go to New Mexico to preach to the Native Americans on reservation out there.
that sounds mostly like mormons… not JWs. i went to HS with 15 mormons (2 families) and all the males went on mission before they went to college. the girls went to college and they ended up marrying guys 3-4 years older than them because they were all in the same classes once the guys returned from mission.
and yes, they do get sent ANYWHERE. the older brother of one of my friends was sent somewhere in the amazon. as for paying on their own, not so much – the temple pays for most of their stuff…
I’m with Shortie, that sounds like Mormons. JW’s have what they call Pioneering (not really sure what that is), but it’s not mandatory. Oh, and don’t get the idea that all JW’s are against having parties. I just went to a 50th anniversary party for my wife’s uncle and aunt who are JW’s, and man, was the beer and wine flowing at THAT gathering!
My bad. I thought they were the same thing. In that case he was a Mormon. He doesn’t work with me anymore so I can’t ask him to clarify.
Probably Mormons. At least they send out nice looking young men (in my neighbourhood at least). Sometimes I’m tempted to invite them in.
“It’s my turn to go to that nice lady’s house!”
“No, it’s my turn, back off, asshole!”
“ME ME ME ME! I wanna go!”
The Mormons don’t even blink if you answer the door naked……the JW’s….not as friendly.
Ah, but what if you answer the door naked and brandishing a sword?
It depends if you pull the sword from a cane after a few minutes. The expect the sword, but not the hidden sword cane.
Well, now I’m just going to have to go to the airport and pick me up a hidden sword cane.
*pouts*
Me too, me too! I’m a witch, I’ll turn you into a newt!
I’ll get better!
I wasn’t aware that my life needed to by saved. I’ll take my chances on my own, thanks. Wait, you can’t understand me, um, I’ll translate: ill tak mi chanses and u suk thanx
tuga, a few things of note:
1. Calling someone a retard is probably not an effective method for ‘witnessing’
2. You’re inability to even spell internet shorthand correctly really doesn’t support your assertion that we’re the ones lacking in intelligence
3. The JW party crashing thing is a logical snowball combining the JW stereotype with recent events, not a comment on JW party crashing habits. I doubt anyone thinks JW’s are heavy partiers.
4. From your point of view, you are just spreading the word. From everyone else’s, you’re just interrupting their evening. I’m sorry if you’ve been mistreated over that detail, but that’s life.
While this is perfectly true, it also cracked me up.
I did an actual lol at
Next JW showing up at my door will be turned into stew!
same we rule
mee tu
better panda jump
no i rule
But how do you resolve that issue for those that don’t believe in you? I’m having a flashback to Monty Python and the Holy Grail here.
Easy. Everybody believes in me. Some believe I exist, some believe I don’t exist. It’s all belief..
What about agnostics?
They believe that it is something that cannot be conclusively known. Thus, belief. LOL.
Nah. Just disinterest.
I don’t know that agnosticism = disinterest.
Or are you being a sass mouth? *eyes mabs suspiciously*
Me? A sass mouth? Sounds like some kind of bass.
But what word would you use?
Frankincense?
Myrrh?
I think you have your definition messed up. If some one says you don’t exist, that isn’t the same as saying they believe you don’t exist.
*smites Eddie*
Any more questions?
Dude, stop that! You’re making me look bad!
Smiting – for when you can’t be arsed to argue any more… sometimes I forget we’re in the New Testament now!
I never thought of it, but now that you mention it…
I’ll tell you one thing, if my office was in the same building as my bedroom I’d be pretty tempted to just show up in my pajamas!
My sis does exactly this!
We’ve had plenty of people do that. after a while you just stop noticing
Ah, the joys of telecommuting. Most of my work gets done in my robe and slippers. I still have horrid flashbacks to the morning I got a crisis call while washing my hair. I was stark naked with shampoo running down my body. A puddle of water was forming into a foamy lake on the floor and I was on the phone trying to sound very professional and competent. It was exactly like the nightmares where you show up in public naked.
See, I think stuff like this is exactly why we don’t generally, and never will generally, have those Jetsons-style videophones. I, for one, am very glad of this.
Me too!
When I have that nightmare I usually settle for hopping no one notices. It works surprisingly well. Well, either they don’t notice, or they’re to polite to say anything.
The question is will they manage to sell Jesus or will they end up buying health care reform?
Well if the middle class converted to jehovahs-witness-ism we wouldn’t need health insurance reform since god would take care of them.
That’s the dumbest sh1t I’ve ever heard. Sorry, I’m a little sore on this subject right now, so prepare for a rant.
Health care needs to be reformed. Here’s a prime example of why.
My parents both work full time, my mom works 2 jobs neither with insurance, my dad does have health insurance. They live in Wisconsin, work in wisconsin, but my father’s company is based in Michigan, as is his health insurance.
My little brother, age 22 was a full time student on winter break. He was diagnosed with gastric cancer. My fathers health insurance company will not cover the medical expenses unless my brother enrolls for the spring semester of college.
This leaves them with 2 choices, pay $12,000 for a semester of school that he can’t attend to remain on my fathers insurance plan. Of course he would flunk out because he’s too sick to attend class, and even if he does recover would then not be allowed to finish his degree.
Or, pay COBRA premiums of around $400 a month to keep him covered.
WTF kind of bullsh1t is that? Sure, you have insurance until you get sick and then good luck! You’re on your own.
Under Wisconsin law, he would remain covered on my parents policy. Unfortunately Michigan law allows them to drop his coverage since he’s not enrolling in school, even though the reason he’s not enrolling is because of the cancer.
I wouldn’t be surprised if a few calls to the MI AG (and maybe a local news outlet near the company’s headquarters) would help — it’s worked before in these kinds of bureaucratic corner cases.
Sorry to hear about your brother.
Good idea Dhoti.
I hope things work out for your brother and your family, Steve.
True, the only danger is if my Dad loses his job then they would be thoroughly screwed.
Sorry to even bring it up here, but it’s a good example of what’s wrong with healthcare in this nation.
I’m not asking for anything free, but when you work your whole life paying for it, they should damn well be there when you need them.
It might be worth the trouble of going through the Social Security Disability application process, The Steve; if his cancer would prevent him from working (presumably) and his medical records reflect this. I normally deal with people facing a permanent disability after working for some years, but I think the definition of “disabled” would encompass somebody younger who can’t work due to a medical condition. If that got approved, he’d get Medicare.
I agree completely. The vast majority of us who want healthcare reform aren’t looking for a handout. We’re willing to pay our fair share too. And I agree with Dhoti’s idea. I hope things work out for your brother, Steve.
Oh, good luck, Steve.
And ditto Rando’s remark. I’m perfectly willing to keep paying my $6K (oops, now $7K) annually, but I would love to not have it dependent on a particular job.
Absolutely. I’ve felt trapped at my lousy job that I’ve made less and less with each passing year due to the fact that I fear losing my health insurance. But I do have a job interview Wednesday, so wish me luck.
ooooooh!!!! good luck on leaving sears!!
GOOD LUCK!
Sic ‘em, Rando.
Good luck! Hope they are worthy AND recognize your value!
Well, let’s not get carried away here. I’ll be happy with just getting paid more.
OOOOOH, wow! Good luck!!
Let us know how that works out. We would love to see finally get out of working at Sears!!!
*pours Rando some hot chocolate with a little something extra from Charro’s flask* This will help you calm down. Assuming I grabbed the right flask.
Best wishes and prayers on that new job Rando! I’m doing the new job thing right now myself. Just part time, and trying to work in some odd jobs and part time work from my normal job.
It feels weird to be the newbie on a job, but I’m busting it wide open, and I know you can too!
Fingers and toes are crossed, Rando. Remember, you are Amazing!
You go, Rando! Be amazing!
YAY!!!!! FREEDOM IS WITHIN YOUR GRASP!
Srsly, good lucksies!
Well, I’ll be honest. It probably wouldn’t be a great job. But it’d be a better job. And that I’ll take.
Knock ‘em dead, you pinko b@stard!
ROFLMAO I’ll try.
Dhoti, I’m going to stalk you now until you pick one. PICK ONE!!!
I’ll pick for Dhoti. He seems like the riding crop sort. Go with that.
The Blue Pill! No, wait, the red one. Er, which did what again?
Obviously I’m going to have to go with the Crushinator.
You’ll do Amazing, Rando.
steve… i work in insurance (as most of you folks know). what your parents should do is call the michigan DOI. there may be some clauses concerning full time student status and temporary medical disability… these aren’t things published in your normal SPD and it’s probable that the HR/benefits person at your dad’s office doesn’t even know about this sort of thing because it’s not something they’ll typically run into.
what should happen is that your brother can take a medical leave of absence from school and still retain “full time student” status for up to 12 or 18 months for insurance purposes. also, his full time student status shouldn’t be based on a semester by semester basis… if he gave proof of full time student in august or september he should be covered until next august or september. full time student is nearly always done on a 12 month basis.
i hope your brothers treatment goes well and that he/your parents don’t get screwed in the process.
Yeah, he is taking medical leave from school.
We are working on what diss suggested above, although it would be nice not to have to resort to disability/medicare which could take up to 6 months to get going, when he should be covered.
I’ll have to convince them to make a few more phone calls, it doesn’t seem right to me either but they assure me they’ve checked into it.
before applying for social security disability, call the DOI. social security is a long tedious process but there may already be something in place…
I would absolutely second shortright’s suggestion to call the DOI! (If it does come down to an SSDI app, keep in mind that it seems almost everyone get denied initally, just plow ahead with the appeals process and make sure you’ve got sufficient documentation of everything. I’ve said before that a disembodied head in a jar would get denied the first time; they’d tell it to go work in telemarketing….)
Will do. If it works anything like the DMV the hardest part will finding someone who works there that actually knows the rules!
or speaks english…
If you can convince him to have a heart attack in the SS office on the first visit, they will make the process as easy for you as humanely possible (as my uncle found out after he had his stroke)
That’s like what I tell my clients; “If you ever, under any circumstances, use a wheelchair, or a walker, or a cane, or an oxygen tank, for crying out loud have it with you at the hearing!”
My dad got out of future faculty meetings by going home after one and having a massive coronary. He even got a doctor’s note.
I got out of a what would have been a brutally hot commencement by having my last gall bladder attack–great timing!
Hmph. I got pneumonia last year and my boss wrote me up anyway.
FWIW, and mind you this goes back 20+ years, but I actually had a good experience with the Social Security office when my twins were born. Since I had just changed jobs my insurance wasn’t going to cover the medical bills. So we went to the Social Security Office and managed to get covered. It wasn’t that difficult and my wife (at the time) was able to keep seeing the same doctor. Of course I still had to make co-payments since I was working, but the cost came out to what I would have paid anyway.
The Steve, if there was anything I could do I would. I read everyone elses’ comments – I concur! I wish you and your family all my best.
That would be the Christian Scientists (mother church is in my state). If I recall correctly, Jehovah’s Witnesses do allow for medical treatment, but not blood transfusions?
I think that’s right because when my son was in the NICU (neonatal ICU), they wanted to know if we were Jehovah Witnesses because premies often need blood transfusions.
ha ha yeah i a jehova whitness and i use health care u ignorant retard
Look! It’s JW troll! Apparently one that has no grasp of English language, punctuation or grammar.
Why do they need language, punctuation or grammar when they have God on their side?
i’m having a good laugh at the fact that HE has the nerve to call other people ignorant retards…
He couldn’t even spell his own religion right!
To his credit, it is a difficult religion to spell.
I mean it has a silent h and all.
Good thing he’s not trying to post in Spanish. (FYI, h is always silent.)
Adhihohs Miho?
And J thinks it’s an H. I don’t know what LL thinks it is, but it just ain’t normal.
“In Latin, Jehovah starts with an I.”
Thank you, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I love that movie!
You call this archaeology!
Don’t call me Junior!
They’re shooting at us!
I know, dad!
I always wondered why they picked Latin.. Since Jesus and all that other Jesus stuff was originally in Aramaic..
Weren’t the soldiers guarding it Roman? (Hence the Latin.)
Who knows. Ok, well no I mean if you watch the movie you’ll know.
But thanks mabs! I can cross that off my list now. *crosses it off list*
Onto the next great mystery! Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Poe had both? And they both drove him crazy?
Twinkle twinkle little bat.
How I wonder what you’re at…
They were knights from the 1st Crusade. They would have known Church Latin. Aramaic, not so much.
It was the common language of the empire to which it was directed. It was also the native language of the emerging central See for the early Pauline church. The latin translations were referred to as the Vulgate as they were in the vulgar (or common) language of the reader vs the source text. ‘Course vulgar has come to mean something far more fun in English.
He said jehova, can we stone him now?
Clearly you’ve not availed yourself of any form of the many educational systems in our country.
I haven’t the slightest idea what the caption is suggesting and really don’t care, but does anyone else think the White House looks a little pink?
Now that you mention it, yes, yes it does.
I see what you mean. I suspect the colour balance in the original shot is out, and the true white background on PK highlights the fact.
That or they shoot JWs rather than tazering them, and are having difficulty getting the blood out of the whitewash?
Perhaps it is the White House’s new initiative for Breast Cancer awareness?
Or it could be gradually and imperceptibly turning SOCIALIST!!!!!!!111111!!1
I thought Red was the color of communism?!?
Or are you saying that Socialism is to Communism as Miller Lite is to beer? Great taste, less evil?
In order to get from white to red you must pass through pink. The color, not the singer.
Wow, it’s almost like I just said that.
It’s not pink. It’s lightish red.
Yes. Yes I am. Apart from the bit about the taste.
Not to nit pick or anything but I think the white house is either on the no call list or we just write letters.
There’s a ‘no call list’ for Jehovah Witnesses? How does one get on it???!!!11!!!
Ahmadinejad, Osama bin Laden, Kim Jong Il and Vladimir Putin are also on it. Go figure!
OTOH Lincoln isn’t; he may be a dead ex-president, but he left his Gettysburg Address!
We’ve secretly replaced the White House party crashers with Jehovah’s Witnesses… Let’s see if anyone notices.
At this point I feel compelled to point out that while there is no “i” in “team”, there generally is one in “witness”…but not here.
So in fact we could just as easily be talking about Jehovah’s Wetnesses?
“There’s no ‘i’ in team, Grif.”
“Ther’s no ‘u’ in it, either. So I’m not on the team, and you’re not on the team. The goddamn team sucks!”
Sorry, that was a little off topic, but what you said reminded me of it.
There’s no I in IPT(inventory processing team)!
There’s no y in wino?
wynot?
y don’t know!!!
True, but there is a “me ta” if you look hard enough, so I’m in the team and you and Grif aren’t!
Wow. Apparently I’m becoming so accustomed to grievous spelling errors that I didn’t even notice.
There’s hope for you yet!
Don’t be so pcky!
Actually, Jehovah’s Wtnesses are sort of witnesses in training, they still haven’t earned their i. Going to the house of someone famous is typically the accepted method of gaining the letter.
Since in Latin, Jehova begins with and I! OOOOOOOOOH!!!! Reference to comment above FTW!
Ever wonder how far a religion bashing troll would make it before somebody would whip out the taser ?
I would wager the same distance. But I’m just guessing….
Do people knock on your door to bash religion at you or try to convert you to secularism? What would you do if they did?
Really. When is someone going to do something about all those people going around trying to make people take their Christmas lights down?!!11!!
I like the lights.
But can we take down the inflatable Frosty the snowmans and so forth already? Bah Humbug!
I’m personally tired of the Kwanzaa Candle Holders (3 red, one blue, 3 green) and Minoras. Or my neighbor who celebrates National Wheel Chair day everyday with that ramp in front of his house….. It bring downs my proerty value damn it…. **note sarcasm**
“Minoras
ILPB, I initially read this as “Minotaurs” for some reason. I, for one, am happy to have a Minotaur-free neighborhood.
Yeah they totally are like half bulls in a China shop.
Hee hee. Well, since it is menorah, ILPB was so far off that my brain went to minotaur also.
We only have one in our neighborhood, but it’s quite tame and friendly.
I think a minotaur would be kind of cool, personally.
I’ve read that a minotaur is rather like a cranky old guy who hasn’t had his coffee yet. I’m OK with them being in someone else’s neighborhood, thank you!
Did you just describe Ed?
Only if you’re on his lawn.
And all those stupid little balls probably went all over the nieghborhood. They are Tacky… but hey it’s America you’re free to put tacky on your own property if you want, you paid for it.
Well most religious bashing people I know are too lazy to go door to door, they prefer to post on PK about it. **said tongue in cheek**
*snerk*
Don’t bite your tongue!
Perhaps they’re too polite to be bothering people at home?
Yeah and EWAdmas is the Funneh…
*knock knock* Good day, sir, I was wondering if I could talk to you today about how Jesus can’t save your life because he never existed? /jk
I got two teen JWs at my door once, I figured by telling them I am atheist they’d leave me alone and go bother my neighbor BUT NO. IT MADE THEM TRY HARDER.
And they were wearing roller skates….. O___o
People shouldn’t treat religion like it’s a product you can sell door-to-door anyway. If people are interested they’ll ask their friends or research online.
Still…funny caption. I’d wager a meter at the most.
Does that mean you aren’t interested in a great deal on Shintoism?
Only if they’ll throw in a SlapChop.
You’ll love my nuts!
What the hell is a “Wtness”? Somebody needs to buy a vowel.
He tried, but they were all sold out.
Ok, now what the frell is a “wutness”?
similar to wetness?
A “wutness” is the noun form, in phonetic spelling, of “What!!!” without all the punctuation.
Just so everyone knows, “Tuga2″ – Not a JW. They wouldn’t give this this the time of day. Running down everyone who makes a joke, is exhausting and time-wasting. Most that I know just laugh it off without a second thought. Also, the use of personal attacks (“retard”, etc.) and what I think is an attempt at swearing (or maybe stopping up the flow, “dam”) Is quite out of character. I showed it to a buddy of mine, he laughed and said, “…at least to the serving line.”
Well, to be fair, you don’t know that. You are saying it’s out of character for the JWs you know, which is probably true. But one has to ask why else someone would go off on such a tirade?
somebody needs to make that a flash game where u play the witness trying to get to the front door
I don’t know, but can I be there when one tries? I’ve always wanted to tase one/see one of them get tased.
Tag, you’re it!