Dear Volcano,
We are going to have to fine you for excessive emissions.
xoxo,
EPA
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: jking_54a via Advanced Lol Builder
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Dear Volcano
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Hey! Maybe Al can sell it some carbon credits
Don’t forget to stop breathing too.
Science fail: life itself is carbon neutral. Breathing animals don’t introduce CO2 into the system, they liberate it from more complex chemicals as a byproduct of metabolic action.
That’s not what I heard about cows.
Okay, your point is very good. I’m going to have to see where my mistake lies and get back to you.
Seriously Mark, the argument hinges on whether or not cows produce significant methane, and whether or not there is such a thing as AGW. Atmospheric methane is a “greenhouse gas”.
Is this strike 3 Rando?
Oh f*ck yeah.. this is just as craptastic as the other ones.
I’m ready with with drive by boobie flash, should it be needed to elevate this thread.
Gah, this day has been so bad I think we need a whole naked song and dance number to fix it. *strips* I’m in.
*strips*
*looks in mirror*
*dresses again hurriedly*
I haven’t stripped since my high school days. I was known as Chocolate Thunder!
*starts humming the strip music*
OK, Know1, let’s see it!
*rips off shirt revealing chocolatey muscles*
*gyrates to music*
This ain’t for free now. Show me the money!
*tosses a rupee*
Trunk junk. STAT!
*tosses lire* Woo hoo!
It’s like the opposite of an EWAdams LOL. It’s just as preachy, albeit slightly more smart ass. It’s not funny. And I don’t like this guy’s LOLs in general. So PK struck out looking in the bottom of the ninth of game 7 of the World Series with the bases loaded and its team down by 1 run.
You’re just pissed cause he actually made it up there. I think it’s funny, and an excellent stab of wit at the EPA’s ridiculous standards. Congrats cheezbuddy!
Oh yeah. Because I’VE never made it to the front page. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! The ones I’ve had make the front page have been way funnier than this piece of crap. And I’m sure the conservatrolls think anything that criticized environmental standards is funny, no matter how dull it is. (Please note I said conservatrolls, not conservatives. I make a distinction.)
I apologize to you guys if that came off as really egotistical. That egotistical rant was aimed at one jackass who ripped me. So, moving on…
Yeah, cause I TOTALLY ripped you. Burn to Rando… you’re funny.
I guess I could have read that the wrong way. I thought you meant I was jealous. I’m not jealous…although I am a little annoyed that this particular caption writer made the front page. jking is one of the most partisan conservatroll caption writers around. I can think of a couple who are worse, but not many.
In through the nose, out through the mouth, Rando. Pretty thin, shi!tty, and stinky-ass sock. Don’t touch it, or you’ll get teh Athlete’s Foot on your *ahem* self!
I wasn’t implying that you were jealous, which is why I said pissed. If I was implying jealousy, I would have used the word.
And anyway, I thought it was funny. But I assume that I don’t matter, being a “conservatroll” or a “sock” or whatever you guys call me these days.
I don’t think its funny, but because it’s too nearly true to be funny rather than because the idea of the EPA taxing a piece of geology directly is unamusing.
Three words…
Grain. Of. Salt.
Now take it!
Paws: I find it amusing as it is something our wonderful government would do. Or tax the person who’s property that Volcano is on. Maybe that would be more amusing….
Just as a matter of interest Awesome Randoness, how many front pages have you had? Are you the record holder or something? Are you trying to say you had more than EWAdams, for god’s sake? Now c’mon, your ego knows exactly how many. Out with it, now. Do not wake the dragon in moi.
when discussing ewa, remimber that any measure must reflect quality over quantity — any monkey can peck out page after page of crap on a typewriter, but how many will create the equivalent of shakespeare?
Oh, I haven’t had NEARLY as many as Ewwwwwadams. But like bad fairie said, mine have been for the most part a lot funnier than his. No, I don’t know exactly how many I’ve had. I’ve have a few on here and a few on ROFLrazzi. Maybe 4 or 5 on PK. I’ve really slacked off as of late.
Okay, Smurf made me curious, so I searched. I’ve had 5 on PK, looks like about 4 on ROFLRazzi, and 1 on the worthless sports page. I’ve never reached the holy grail of ICHC’s front page, though. That one is much harder to get to.
Spend more time hanging out at justsocks.com… there’s lotsa friends to be had there to votecha to the front!!!
And you FAIL.
I like my friends to be real. So nyah.
BF is right, though. It’s about quality, not quantity. (That’s what I tell people with six kids when they ask why I only have one.
)
I suspect there are a LOT of kitteh lols submitted.
I have a question… why ARE the sports lols so incredibly lame?
I haven’t looked at them. But the dog lols tend towards lame-ness…also?
Maybe there aren’t very many submitted?
Or dog and sports lovers don’t go on the intertubes much?
Well, dogs DO have to be walked, unlike most cats.
Is this the wrong time to point out that volcanoes emit less than 1% of the carbon dioxide of human sources (including food raised for our consumption)?
That might be the truth, but it’s not TRUTHINESS. Get it right next time.
This might be picking the fly sh#t out of the pepper, but the caption was referring to emissions in general, not just CO2 emissions.
Volcanoes also have a cooling effect on the earth’s atmosphere thanks to large quantities of sulphur released in to the upper atmosphere and all that ash blocking the sun. E.g. when Krakatoa blew the world’s temperature dropped by an average 0.5 degrees. And did you know the bang from Krakatoa was so loud that the sound waves travelled around the world 7 times!!
Also Mt St Helens was only a 5 on the VEI (Volcanic Explosivity Index) when the hotspot at Yellowstone last erupted 640,000 years ago that was a 8 which is about a billion times more powerful than St Helens or to put it another way, the explosion was more powerful than all the nuclear weapons on earth combined!!
Volcanoes are so cool
Oh, yeah. When Yellowstone goes again, it’s going to be spectacular. I’ve got some batteries and canned food ready.
And I’d agree that volcanoes are pretty damn cool.
So the best thing the USA could do to combat global warming would be to drop a few nukes onto Yellowstone. I’d pay good money to watch that.
Well, it’s probably something that would go a bit too far the wrong way. Unless you’re really looking forward to a nuclear-winter type scenario.
Exactly. The U.S. tends to err on the side of “MORE POWER…GRRRR”.
As does the Yellowstone Caldera.
ok go back and read the science about “global warming” again. the net effect is similar to what happens with the volcano, i.e. the short term trapped heat melts the polar caps dumping mass amounts of fresh water into the ocean causing the currents to slow which will lead to rapic cooling possibly to the level of an ice age. That’s why it’s referred to as climate change.
What do you mean ‘again’? Did you think my comment implied that I gave a flying fart about the science?
Or instead of introducing more nukes, they could just artificially add sulphur to the atmosphere. That kind of geoengineering is feasible and being considered by some scientists.
Just as long as you aren’t anywhere near it (South America should be ok) the pyroclastic ash spread over a good 60% of the North American continent. Say isn’t the bible belt located near that region? Who says volcanoes don’t know how to pick their targets well
If you don’t live on the Eurasian continent, or in South America, might as well forget it. When Yellowstone goes, we’ll lose most of North America.
Okay, okay, the eastern seaboard and parts of Mexico might survive.
And vulcanologists are SOOO HOTT!!
I emit less than 0.0000001% of the world’s CO2 but people are always lecturing ME to cut down, so why should volcanoes be exempt from the nagging?
Clearly the answer is for us all to make sure we exhale directly onto plants at all times. Carry around a little pot of clover or something and breathe on it.
Might I suggest a little pot… of pot?
Also drinking lots of Coke is probably good for carbon sequestration. At least temporarily..
Oh, in that case, all my Dr Pepper consumption is in the name of reducing global warming.
That’s right. Just remember not to let the side down by emitting too much carbon dibackside.
LULZ, keithybabes. Berry Punny!!!
I almost said a little pot of grass, but I knew somebody’d take it that way! No, NDW….that would be illegal. Also probably unwieldy, as don’t they tend to get tall?
*disclaimer: Diss thinks it is very silly that this would be illegal*
Not medicinally where I live!! *does a happy dans*
that might be nebs, but you have to admit that they do tend to release it all at once for the most part.
its actually mostly steam that comes out of Mount St. Helens and only every once in a while.
you really couldn’t of found a higher res picture?
“have”
/grammar nazi
You really couldn’t have used better grammar, Cpt. Nitpick?
A solution would be to take the UN building and plug the volcano with it.
Hey, now there’s an idea!
Um…I’m no science major or anything, but I think that would actually cause the pressure to build up inside the volcano and cause a larger eruption.
And where would the building end up, after the eruption? Hmm?!?
Half the USA would be paved in expensive green marble.
I could live with that. Providing I wasn’t part of the USA that was paved.
you can come live up here with me – i’m too north and west for st helens
of course when mt rainier goes, i’ll have beach front property since i’m on a ridge next to the flood/lahar valley
Irony is that volcanic eruptions actually cause COOLING.
REALLY? Hey, UnhappyVegemite, did you know this?
From NASA on-line:
Volcanic eruptions are thought to be responsible for the global cooling that has been observed for a few years after a major eruption. The amount and global extent of the cooling depend on the force of the eruption and, possibly, its latitude. When large masses of gases from the eruption reach the stratosphere, they can produce a large, widespread cooling effect. As a prime example, the effects of Mount Pinatubo, which erupted in June 1991, may have lasted a few years, serving to offset temporarily the predicted greenhouse effect.
He actually said that in his comment, which you apparently failed to read. It’s in the first sentence, look REAL close and you might see it.
Psst…
(But slaggingham seems to have posted first, so … I’m confused now.)
Slags was lower on the page. I saw the big egg-head explaination first, so I went for the sarcasm. I can’t decide, was I not sarcastic enough, or are these other people retards?
I liked the NASA bit.
‘Course, I had the joy of experiencing the fall out from the 1980 eruption.
I lived less than 100 miles away when it happened.
I’ve read that Edvard Munch’s ‘the scream’ shows actual post-Krakatoa-eruption sunsets as they would have looked in Norway. Pretty freaky thought!
Pretty apopos, however, viking gal. Thanks so much for that! As I’m visualizing the painting in my head, I actually CAN see where that theory emerged. Wow!
My link got moderated out.
But if you google Edvard Munch, scream and Krakatoa together, you will find a few astronomy journal articles at the front of the list!
Will do! Thanks!
I thought the sarcasm was quite blatant. Shows what I get for thinking.
That can only mean that HollowLord is a retard. How sad for him.
Some sarcasm really shouldn’t require the /sarcasm. Just like real life sarcasm, some people just aren’t gonna get it.
I vow to forevermore do the /sarcasm symbol to protect douches like HollowLord from having to actually think.
Hey! That’s very socialist of you, Ivan. I’m sure these douches don’t want any of red-pinko-commie charity!!
Well, I just can’t fu(king win. *disgruntled*
In socialistic pinko commie sarcasm, nobody wins. *shakes head sadly*
How do you do the little type? That’s awesome.
You get them using the tags <pre> and </pre>.
Hee hee. I shouldn’t laugh as I constantly use VG’s hint about the ctrl+.
I’m guessing it’ll be from something else
.
Now THAT was funny.
Naw. That’s only true for boys. Didn’t you pay attention in sex ed class?
Seems to me, there were no repercussions for us ladies having some alone time. Except for e-mail that said that a kitten dies every time we masturbate….. I am responsible for the population control of the felines in my neighbourhood……
Nucky’s third job: working for animal control Geez, you ARE hogging all the jobs.
Hey, I do have a growing 12 year old to feed! Food’s expensive up here in the frozen north, you know, hard to grow and the caribou tend to eat it before harvest.
I thought it was supposed to drive girls insane? Boys get hairy palms and go blind, and girls go insane.
Nope. Never heard anything said about effects on girls. (Seriously, that’s probably more because the assumption was that girls wouldn’t ‘do such a thing.’)
Nah. We girls just use up the national battery supply, is all!
Don’t you use rechargeable?
Just got one for Christmas!
Yo’ dude, it’s a joke.
P.U. This lol stinks more than the volcano.
You know, if it had been a larger picture, and didn’t have all that text in the way, it would have been a really nice picture.
*snerk*
It’s very pretty. You can go on tours and see the new cone growing. My mom went with her geology class.
NOT FUNNY
You’re making light of a very real and very threatening situation with this stupid caption.
TOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOON!!
No one cares what you think.
I could have sworn somebody cut off your head so you’d never come back.
Oh, I read about this! You need one person to cut the head off and one person to burn the stump, otherwise two heads will grow back!
I have failed. *flings sword & shield away* I’m not worthy.
*finds sword and shield* Hey, these look useful! Maybe I’ll hang onto them in case of troll invasion!
Meh if you can’t make light of very real and very threatening situations then what fvck is the point of living??
Bacon.
I’m jewish though so bacon is out
Mind you I’m a very bad jew
Chocolate! (I know where to get some kosher chocolate, even!)
Ninja’d. Damn you, KKHHHAAAANNN!
Q8<
That’s hawt! ♥v♥
And cake… actually double chocolate cheesecake makes life worth living twice
it’s one layer of dark chocolate cheese and one layer of white chocolate cheese with a lemon and sesame seed pastry on the bottom and the top is covered in milk chocolate.
Oh and almost all chocolate is kosher as long as it doesn’t contain gelatin, most chocolate isn’t chalev yisrael though which only the really orthodox jews adhere to. Apparently it has to come from jewish cows for them
So who circumcised the bulls?
That’s where bris-ket of beef comes from.
*snerk*
PS I’m making brownies. As we ‘speak.’ :smilie that’s drooling:
*begs with puppy-dog eyes*
*sigh* Okay, but they’re very hot. Don’t burn yourself. *hands out brownies* OMG, I sound like a mom.
Well, I WAS acting like I was 8, so….
mmm brownies *drools* they better have walnuts
only thing better than warm brownies is this chocolate brownie icecream I get at my local supermarket, especially good if it is 41 degrees celsius outside when eating hot food is not recommended
Oh and that is 106 degrees Fahrenheit for all you Imperials
Sorry, boy doesn’t like nuts in his brownies…and it WAS his birthday yesterday.
Aww nuts. Brownies without nuts are like cupcakes without icing or icecream without toppings or cookies without choc chips…
Still delicious but missing that extra crunch
Okay, but they have melted mini marshmallows and milk chocolate chips on top. Of course, after the Scout meeting, they are pretty much gone. (They left one to be polite.)
Can I have some that 41? It’s only 24 here..
Turkey bacon.
A sham.
Only pigs can make real bacon.
My the Pork be with you.
Agreed.
Attempting to include our Jewish brethren.
Fry long and crispier.
*lol NDW’s
We can give them bacon cookies like we did for mabs.
All are welcome.
But bacon cookies still contain pork
Oh NO! It’s the porkocalypse!
*whispers* Dude…we all know there isn’t any real bacon in the cookies…it’s just part of the all-inclusiveness.
It’s ok, on behalf of the other Jews who frequent the boards I’ll take one for the team, and take theirs.
OK man…but if you REALLY want to do it, how about….a bacon and Taylor Pork Roll sammich!! It’s best for me to stay away from the sodium so one per year of these for me, thank you? Or two.
Dear Again
We are going to have to fine you for excessive emissions.
xoxo
PK Regulars
No, no, take out the xoxo and give them to someone else. None of us want to give hugs and kisses to Again.
*takes out the xoxo*
*gives them to DU*
*gets a bit carried away*
Sorry, it’s your fault for stripping, I’m only human.
No…no…don’t! Stop!
Hey…what are you doing? Come back here! I said don’t stop!
*erupts*
*gets fined for excessive emissions*
Don’t care, I’d happily pay double.
We’ve had explosion sounds going around the world 7 times and Yellowstone being nuked. People here are weird (which is why I like you.) Nobody mentioned the biggest gas emission of living memory: Al (hotlips) Gore.
Rivaled only by Rush Limbaugh…. and depending on the day, MM.
Or Keith Overbite.
Or Ann Coulter.
Or Al Franken.
Or Bono.
Or any politician, anywhere, ever.
Or Glenn Beck.
Or Bono… again… because he deserves it twice.
Or Michele Bachmann.
Or any TV preacher.
Dear St Helens
Al Gore asks that you cease and desist your emissions. None may emit more hot air than Al Gore and potentially doing so may incur penalties including but not limited to your sanity
My sanity? Hah! Jokes on you! Can’t take what I don’t actually have!
Been watching An Inconvenient Truth too many times have we?
See the door? F*ck off in that direction please..
AFL loving wanker, wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve got a Southern Cross tattoo either. Back in your cage, we’ll handle reality for you and throw a bone your way IF we find some compassion for your type.
Hey Eddie, do you think this one will be good fertilizer or kill your lawn with its excess of stupid and froth?
HAHA, I’m going to remember this and use it often.
No. It can’t be. I killed you already! THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!!!
Rando……..*pstsh Pstsh*
Again………*pstsh* is your FATHER….
GODDAMMIT, DAD, GET OFF THE INTERNET!!!!
Good thing that isn’t in Cowlifornia, as CARB would make it replace it’s perfectly good engine with a new one, thus forcing more businesses to go under… meh. Oh, and they do it without any regulations
um…I don’t know if anyone’s said this yet, but that’s Mt. St. Helens in Washington State. At least i’m fairly certain it is.
an internets to you, of course it is st helens, located at 46.2° N, 122.2° W and currently at approx 8365 ft (varies according to how she’s breathing)
How is it a she?
I mean, god is a HE, isn’t she?
The mountain is a she. Saint Helen – Martyr in the first half of the twelfth century. Her feast is celebrated 31 July. Her life (Acta SS., July, VII, 340) is ascribed to St. Brynolph, Bishop of Skara, in Sweden (d. 1317). She was of noble family and is generally believed to have been the daughter of the Jarl Guthorm.
St. Helens also figures into local native legends as a woman. Mt Hood and Mt Ranier (sorry, I don’t know the native names) were thought of as two warrior spirit/mountains who used to get into fights over Mt. St. Helens, because she was a pretty, young female spirit/mountain. At least, that’s what the Ranger stations and interpretive centers roundabout here say.
She has a nice cone. *wiggling eyebrows*
Silly, Mt St Helens has always been a “she” because before her partial mastectomy she looked like a perfect beautiful breast. Yes, guys, she was the great boobie in the sky. Men would look at her and, ahem, go blind.
First time I heard this joke is when Mount St. Helens erupted
Damn….the Democrats are even getting on Mother Natures ass……
Does the EPA really end letters with “Hugs and Kisses”?
Yes. And they put loose glitter confetti into the envelope for that extra personal touch.
And put on lipstick so they can put a kiss print on the seal of the envelope.
And spritz it with carbon neutral perfume
SWAK
Oh no! *said like Bruce from family guy*