Note to self: Next time just turn up naked.
(Airport security)
Picture by: The New York Times Caption by: BSuddery via Advanced Lol Builder
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An airport is a location where aircraft such as fixed-wing aircraft, helicopters, and blimps take off and land. Aircraft may be stored or maintained at an airport. An airport consists of at least one surface such as a runway, a helipad, or water for takeoffs and landings, and often includes buildings such as hangars and terminal buildings.
Larger airports may have fixed base operator services, seaplane docks and ramps, air traffic control, passenger facilities such as restaurants and lounges, and emergency services. A military airport is known as an airbase or air station. The terms airfield, airstrip, and aerodrome may also be used to refer to airports, and the terms heliport, seaplane base, and STOLport refer to airports dedicated exclusively to helicopters, seaplanes, or short takeoff and landing aircraft. In some jurisdictions, the term airport is used where the facility is licensed as such by the relevant government organization (e.g. the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), Transport Canada). Elsewhere the distinction is one of general appearance. Other jurisdictions define an airport by its having the customs offices etc expected of a port,[citation needed] though the more general term is airport of entry.
Kn0w, buddy. We love the ordinal post rule. But you’re supposed to do it AFTER the “ordinal post”. Read your manual, man!
Ooooohhhh ok.
I though in loo of saying first, you put up some random info. Usually something that has nothing to do with the LOL. And I don’t even follow that one.
The rule is that as soon as anyone says FIRST or really any number, then someone gets to make the ordinal post. And it’s actually often admired if you can cleverly link it in.
BTW, loo=English for toliet; in lieu of = French for instead of. But totally made my day.
And there’s always the English town of Looe . . . !!
Strangely enough I’ve actually been there…
FOURTH!! There, now the ordinal post is appropriate.
You’re not fourth anymore, sorry
Yes he was.
Here you go, Zuul:
Millimeter wave technology produces whole body images that reveal what’s under your clothes, including Metallic or non-metallic devices and objects are displayed, including weapons, explosives and other items that a passenger is carrying on his/her person. The images are viewed by a Transportation Security Officer in a remote location. According to the TSA: To ensure privacy, the setup “has zero storage capability and images will not be printed stored or transmitted. Once the transportation security officer has viewed the image and resolved anomalies, the image is erased from the screen permanently. The officer is unable to print, export, store or transmit the image.
“has zero storage capability” ’till someone figures out how to plug a USB drive in…
“These are stills that I took using my iPhone.”
Rando, just wanted to add my belated Congrats for you and Mrs. Rando! *hugs*
Oh right, I caught the tail end of that. CONGRATULATIONS RANDO AND MRS. RANDO!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
Wait, what? Congrats for? Please, clue me in!
Randos pregnant!
Oh!!! Awesome as!
Congrats, Rando.. gonna name it after me? It will lifetime lawn rights if you do!
I can see it now, Eddie if it’s a boy.. Edie if it’s a girl.
You’re going have to fight Nucky for the girls name. She’s promised generosity from the Canadian overlords when they take over if he names the baby after her.
I don’t actually get any say in the naming of the children. Apparently I have bad taste in baby names. My wife comes up with the names, and I say “yea” or “nay.” LOL
Congrats on the upcoming addition to your family Rando. I will keep you and the Mrs. in my prayers for a happy, healthy bundle of joy.
Shhhh, DU!!! That was just between Rando and me. You want everyone to know that we’re planning an invasion. Uh….what? Oh, look everyone, BOOBIES: ( o )( o )
Where!??!!!???11?
The rabbit done died Eddie, Rando is adding to his clan.
The rabbit died? Dammit, DU, I was kidding about boiling the rabbit!!
Oh…but you said….and I made dinner….I thought you would like it…
Hi, I just read your great news. Congratulations I will keep you in my thoughts that all goes perfectly this time.
Thank you. We’re hoping for the same thing.
Oh I was TOTALLY fourth.
Grr… your powers of logic defeat me! We shall meet again, and then you shall not be so lucky! Mwauahahahaha! *cough*
Well that was easy. I guess I’ll find something else to do now. *goes to IHOP for pancakes*
Naked sexy party in ILPB’s zombie containment facility? It’s BYOBOB (bring your own brains or booze).
We just got kicked out, HOW. Need a new place to party.
Oh my most virile and awesome god, Wino, your drunk-a$$ holiness…ooops…your drunken holya$$…nope, that’s not it either…your drunk and holy a$$…one last time…your drunken holiness…Woohoo!!!
Can my friends use the Devine Wine Cave for our party? It’s clothing-optional and you’ll be the only deity there.
Damn! I forgot. I’m sure Thor would be fine with us using the Hall of Asgard, too!
Oh, shoot! I forgot that Brakk is a not-much-of-a-disguise(d) god as well.
Of course. The more the merrier, this may also serve as a recruiting tool for the cause.
hmmm…
*pulls out magic gateway to Booty Island*
no need to bother the others we can hang out pirate style… what, doesn’t everyone keep a magic gateway to a tropical pirate paradise in their pocket?
Bah, ninja’d by Wino, touche old chap.
Booty Island sounds nice
Now see, I thought for a minute BYOB meant bring your own boobs, and that wouldn’t have been cool.
No, no, no, Rando, we’ve got the boobs. You bring the budweiser.
*heads to Grant’s Farm in St. Louis to get free Budweiser*
Since it was originally Andy who said BYOB it really leaves alot of options for what that B can stand for….Brains, Boobs, Booze, Body, Beer, Backgammon…What? You didn’t know that Backgammon is the traditional past time of zombies?
What about Badminton?
You can bring badminton to the party if you want, but it’s not to popular among zombies. They tend to lose random body parts and using those as in place of the birdie, then they end up with too many birdies in play and the whole game is just a big mess.
charro, my wii doesn’t know how to read your name. It’s an upsidedown c followed by gibberish.
on a side note, it took me 15 minutes to type this out
Wait, you’re on the internet using your Wii? You can do that?
YES! That’s one of the things we learned from the FBI agent who spoke at my son’s school on internet safety. If your kid’s system enables him/her to chat with other players, you can bet your kid can figure out how to get on the internet with it.
yes, but slowly. I finally got tired of being left out of the fps games (I was told we’d play together tonight but got left out when hubby`s son was online), and i moved the wii into the bedroom to play Mario Bros. Now I can play online or play games without leaving my bed
ZOMG, I love Mario Bros Wii!
…Or not.
*looks around while standing in the airport naked*
-insert high pitched scream here-
I thought we were supposed to show up naked THIS time not NEXT time!
*covers herself and runs off*
*applies for job at airport*
I thought I sent you a text saying we weren’t doing the nekkid thing till next month!
Texts Capt wow – “ZOMG some nekkid chick was running around the airport earlier!!! “
*marks calendar for travel all next month*
Darnit Captain Wow, you ran off across the tarmac and made all the pilots and luggage handlers distracted. Who is going to clean up all these suitcases and crashed planes?
*applies special blurring pasties*
*checks her iPhone*
ZOMG I totally forgot to check my texts!
*helps clean up the suitcases and crashed planes*
*applies for a job as a pilot* teeheee
Please don’t.
Unless you’re a hot female… then by all means, proceed.
All the hot females are trapped in your basement with me, none shall be flying anytime soon, but all are still welcome to get naked.
Sorry but I don’t think ALL the hot females are there…. Kate Beckinsale not there…
Kate told me that she was going to be there.
And I just got home from work, so I’m not here! *shimmy*
I read that as “hot tamales” . . . of course, it works, either way.
Well that goes without saying. Now there’s a job I want.
I’m so tired of airport security being turned into a political item, I’ve decided there’s only one solution: from here on out, everybody who flies is ushered into men’s and women’s locker rooms, where they strip and change into airline supplied jumpsuits. Proctors watch the individuals change. No one will be allowed to wear their own clothes at all, they will be put into a bag and given to the proctors to be returned at the end of the flight. Anyone who wants to whine about the invasion of their privacy can take a train.
I demand to be lulled into the same false sense of security when boarding trains! And buses! And trams! And taxis! And private cars! And when walking anywhere!
Can we color code the jumpsuits according to which terrorist watch list each person is on?
But, but, but…! What if the color coding puts us in an unflattering color?!?
Ahem. I said we get to do the color coding. I’m not sure how to handle people on multiple lists — basic black or a nice plaid?
I think it depends on how many lists they’re on.
Two lists = pinstripe
Three lists = gingham
Four lists = plaid
Five or more lists and you’ll just have to take the train.
No tie-dye?
I vote for a nice paisley!
Well, I suppose tie-dye if you are on four eco-terrorist watch lists, but I’ve never really trusted paisley.
I thought not trusting them was the point?
Yes, but there’s a certain level of distrust I hold for paisley that I wouldn’t really want to inflict on anyone. Besides, it would clash with the gingham suit they’ll be sitting next to on the plane.
Can we do argyle? Maybe a checkered pattern?
Ok, ok, argyle if you are on three college terror watch lists.
Paisley, gingham and argyle sound like spices and foods. What’s next guacamole?
But it is so…colorful! –I still remember hallucinating red-and-black paisleys when feverish as a child. I’ve never worn paisley since!
So you’re saying that there can be beneficial side effects to having a fever?
That wont work. Some idiot will come up with exploding anal beads or something like that……..
Now THERE’S an idea!
Just a little toooooooooo wild on the play for me. You can try that one and let us all know how it works out.
Oh, I didn’t mean for me.
Hmmmm. I don’t know, what’s that you’re hiding behind your back?
These? These are regular anal beads, not exploding ones.
Then why do I hear ticking sounds?
Oh, that’s the dynamite I have strapped to my chest. I’m holding it for a friend.
That’s what she said
*snerk*
can we try that on again?? he likes things in his butt anyway… right?
How about anal beads made out of Pop Rocks?
I hear if you have a soda enema and use the pop rock anal beads your rectum will explode.
“Next on Mythbusters….”
*pukes*
I’ll watch that ep if they use Kerrie/Carrie (whatever-the-fvck-her-name-is) instead of the ballistics gel or a pig rectum.
Of course: Kerrie, pig rectum, what’s the difference?
Kari?
THAT’S the one.
S’ok; I have similar feelings about the best use for Tori! As I don’t have those feelings about Grant, it’s not plain jealousy!
Actually, I saw someone speculating on just that not too long ago — a subcutaneous lump of PETN, hidden in an area with natural body fat, detonated by stabbing yourself with a small detonator.
You would intellectualize exploding anal beads, wouldn’t you.
It was bound to happen sooner or later.
It’s usually me, over-thinking something. So thanks for taking the hit this time!
they’ve already experimented wiith boob implants made of the stuff…
They have implants on the wii?
yes.
Must be another Tomb Raider game.
Possibly Dead or Alive as well.
I’m done with flying, the terrorists have won. But, I never liked it much anyway.
But, but, without you flying, all those air sickness bag manufacturers will be laying off like crazy!
Trying to impress Ivan? I’m sure he’ll like you now.
The last human being on earth that I would ever concern myself with impressing would be Ivan. I don’t know where you would get that idea.
Well I want to impress Ivan.
I’ve already impressed Ivan.
We’ve impressed Ivan into the Spartan army, but just ’cause we like the outfit.
The 300 Spartan army, or the Master Chief Spartan army from a few LOLs ago?
the 300 spartan army……. and on a COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, ivan and i will be gone for a while. we’re definitely NOT enjoying his new sexy costume.
Shorty’s reaction to my new gladiator costume definitely impresses me.
Dammit! I didn’t get to see the new sexeh costume!
Even less so than EWAdams? Man, that’s harsh.
EWIdiot isn’t human. You should know that already!
D’oh! My bad. I thought maybe you were insulting me as some sort of penance… You took up two or three pages arguing with him several lols ago so I assumed. So, why are you insulting me? Just hate me? That’s ok, I’m just as hate-worthy as anyone else. Pretty clever insult there, good job. Carry on.
Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed today.
*snuggle* Hi, sexy!! You ninja’d me *pout*
Hee.
Q8<
*gropes Nucky* But my attempts at apologies are sooo worth getting ninja'd.
Mmmmm…..apology accepted.
Now, grope a little more to the left….there, THAT’s it!
Um, n10, I don’t see the insult in Jac’s joke about airsick bags, unless you find it insulting that he thinks you get airsick…….
The way I took it is that no one would get air sick if I stopped flying… see? How would it make sense the other way? Ok, so maybe I’m a jerk… SORRY!!!
Nah, you’re not a jerk. I thought maybe I had missed some innuendo in JAC’s comment. Maybe you just need more coffee?
*offers coffee, tea, lemonade* It’s too early for a beer, but you can have one if it’ll help.
I promise, it was just rolling with the flow. I have no idea if you get airsick or not. I was simply trying to start a running joke, or maybe even a pun run. I find most of your comments to be intelligent or well thought out humor, so I figured you would be up for the joke.
Wow, thanks! *sips tea* I usually am up for a joke even on myself, must have been extra paranoid for some reason. It was a bad day.
Been there, done that. Got the dunce hat as a souvenir.
Okay, so I can’t stand flanders, but you gotta check out what he got on the upcoming page, very first one. Go look now. This one is pure maximum win.
Oops. I mean 3rd one. They just updated the page again.
I guess it’s true, a stopped clock is right twice a day, and even flanders can make a LOL once in a while…
I faved it.
I did too. One of about 7 out several hundred of his crap that I actually liked. Like Green Beard said, stopped clock.
I can’t help but think he’s digital…….
12:00 flasher eh…
Yeppers. Not even right for a full minute.
Oh, and lets use 12:00 blinker. Flashing and Flanders don’t seem to sound good in the same sentence.
OMG that’s a disturbing thought. But he’s a 12:00 flasher on military time, so it’s not even a full minute only once. And I’ve got to stay out of the voting. That tool makes me want to throw up. Enjoy your brief moment of not being a complete waste of oxygen, flanders, it won’t last. I was mostly impressed that a LOL criticizing EWA made the upcoming more than who wrote it anyway.
Oh man… I can’t believe I used the ‘eh’… I might lose my Alberta citizenship over that one…
Some one QUICK! Hook up an IV of maple syrup. We don’t want Green Beard loosing citizenship!
Actually, Jac, out here in Alberta, that would be a beer IV
Stay away from the screech. (both kinds, Saved by the Bell was boring)
We don’t do the screech (either) out here in Alberta. Beer and whiskey. We’re basically the Texans of Canada.
Well, it’s appropriate that one of the only ones by him that I like is one ripping EWAdams. It’s also just about the only one I’ve seen by him that isn’t racist, homophobic, derogatory towards anyone who isn’t hardcore right wing, or insulting fastfood.
i voted win on it about a week ago… i was SHOCKED that it was a flanders lol.
Well, flanders, fastfood and ewadams do like to make lols insulting each other. What’s scary was I saw a few lols last night in the voting that were mildly humorous and nonpreachy AND they were made by ewadams. I had to reread them twice to make sure. It’s like he’s finally begining to understand, though he still needs alot of work.
flanders and fastfood have about 500 LOLames each just insulting each other. Other liberatrolls and conservatrolls will take shots at each other too, I’ve noticed. Some get pretty nasty. It just clogs up the voting, and takes away from the diamonds in the rough.
Apparently they’ve stopped with the random assortment of LOLs to vote on, and you have to dig through ALL of them. I think I’m still a week back. I just saw one I submitted almost a week ago earlier today. How am I ever gonna get caught up?
You think you’re behind? Last night I saw the one Jking made of the horse in the hole calling you a horses @ss. That thing is at least a month old!
Oh, did you get the message I sent you?
Yes, and that little issue has been taken care of, thank you.
did you get the message i sent you (through the mrs.) too? sorry if it freaked her out and made a bigger mess than it was… just didn’t know how else to get to you. :-/
She was a little unnerved, and I had a brief WTF moment when she said you sent her a message about it, but I do appreciate the concern.
You did help get me out of a couple lingering PK-related groups (my wife logged in as me as I was at work and took care of it). Fortunately, this one seemed to be pretty benign and backed off after it made its point.
Unnerved pregnant woman…. say it ain’t soooooooooo….. Did you have the Haggen Daz on stand-by… my wife it was Garlic Bread or Five Guys.
Dude, I seriously hope Five Guys is the name of a restaurant.
You know what they say about the appetites of pregnant women.
Sorry Andy not a pregnant Zombie.
Yes yes it is… REALLY good burgers and fresh fries.
Ah, they don’t have that here. Anyway, I was quickly able to assuage her fears, especially after she went onto Facebook and made sure the troll couldn’t see anything else about me. I wasn’t even planning on telling her about it. I didn’t think it was gonna be a big deal.
Five Guys is also Obama’s fav burger joint. They finally opened one near me, and I tried it out. Amazing burgers, and freshly made fries. They try to BURY you in fries. Mmmmm Now I’m craving Five Guys.
it’s sick is what it is. ewadams is one of the few on here willing to say what needs to be said. i’ve seen your picture too, and you should be ashamed. someone needs to put the conservative idits here in there place.
Gah, nesting fail. Uh, this is confusing.
Ignore this. Someone is playing a joke on me, and it failed.
Why in seven hells do you people find the concept of a lol site so hard to comprehend? This is not a political soap box. It’s a place where people can come and laugh about politics. There are more than enough places to have serious political discussions and start crusades for various causes. I can haz cheezburger is not one of those places. Get over it.
No, it’s someone I know who thought it’d be funny to prank me on here, but forgot she had a gravatar, so I see the picture. Ignore it. It’s just a joke on me. Seriously, just ignore it.
Oh. K. *ignores*
OMG, how can I vote for that? How can I vote for it a million times!!??
You can’t vote for it anymore. You can, however, go to my page, and fave and five it.
Last time I flew, I found myself humming ‘The Stripper’ as I stripped. Then, I nearly fainted. I was taking off my loose vest when the man standing beside me whipped off his belt. I remember in the old movies, when a man took off his belt the woman was getting schlepped. Anyway I faked a faint and fell on the floor but nothing happened.
Um. This is confusing.
Turn up naked rock?
Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was not a good friend of MINE. Never agreed with a single word he said, but DAMN did he like to whine. And it was some mighty loud whine…. JOY!
Something in your song… reminded me of me. Well, at least that’s someone who wont go away. I could never ask you…to stay here for me, cause you could never live that way.
And of course I forgive I’ve seen how you live Like a phoenix you rise from the ashes You pick up the pieces And the ghosts in the attic They never quite leave And of course I forgive You’ve seen how I live I’ve got darkness and fears to appease My voices and analogies Ambitions like ribbons Worn bright on my sleeve
There’s a Pink Elephant down the lane from Jeremiah bullfrog. Sister Christian knows the time has come, and Jaime’s gotta gun… dog days just begun, everybody’s on the run… so what did the daddy do?
Airport security is right up there with lack of money as to why I only get back to America once a year. By the time I reach Narita Airport to fly out to the States, I’ve already spent at least nine hours and $100.00 on transportation and shlepped my luggage around three prefectures. Airport security is like getting kicked when you’re down. I get that we have to be careful, but I’d honestly take it a whole lot better if I knew the TSA didn’t have eight-year-old kids on their watch lists.
might as well be naked if they run you through those body scanners. They see you naked. And if you’re very attractive or a celeb, they’ll pass your photos around. They also run kids through it, so I guess the pedophiles get pics of your kids as well.
Baaaaaad idea.
If you turn up naked, the worthless, thumbsucking, petty, overgrown children tripping to the point of overdose on the one little bit tiny of power they have in their miserable, shallow, dead-end lives will still decide you need to remove “something.”
You know…I now have a picture of your wife with which I can stalk you! Muahahahahaha!
No you don’t either ‘cos I took her picture off the gravatar so nyah!
Now I get to explain to her why I did that. Geez.
Bwaha! My cache hasn’t cleared! The picture is still there! *must never clear cache*
*headdesk* D’oh!
Ok, um…so now what do I do? I have pictures and I know where you live, well, sorta, I mean, the general location….But, well, I’ve never stalked anyone before…I don’t know what I’m supposed to do know….
I think you’re supposed to boil a rabbit in my house or something, I dunno.
Mr Rando, we’d like to speak to you about inciting rabbit abuse.
Well, you can make phone calls and not actually say anything, just pant sechsily, take photographs, steal underwear, break in and plant webcams and re-arrange furniture…
Oh! I think I’ll re-arrange the furniture just a little bit every day until they think they’re going crazy. Thanks Paws!
DU, if you’re gonna steal my underwear, can you please leave the video game boxers? The Halo, Xbox, and Super Mario ones I mean? I like those best. Oh, and the Pink Floyd ones. And the thongs aren’t mine, I swear.
Hey! I only took the Super Mario ones. I left the Halo ones for you. And I had assumed the thongs were your wifes until you said that….