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(Jacob Zuma, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Wen Jiabao, Manmohan Singh)
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Anyone who says “Obama” to answer this question will be shot on sight. Clear?
Obama
D’OH!!! Oh well, I had that coming, didn’t I? *loads shotgun anyway* Don’t move.
Well, at least he didn’t say “Nobama”. That type of ignorance really gets under my skin.
DOH-Bama you got your new shirt dirty again….
Probama
Hmmm.. Was that supposed to be an insult?
Confusing troll is confusing.
No insult, you injury?
No salt, you wound?
No salt, no blame.
No blame, no game!
No Rogaine, No game plan
No pian no gain?
No follicles, no tonsilhockey.
No “cap”/ No play
Well, it would be most beneficial if it was the one who did the most talking, therefore Obama is the obvious choice.
^ This man has a point!
*snerk*
ShowBama? HoBama da Pimp Daddy of the US?
See, that’s much less ignorant.
Who you callin ignant!!!
Not you! Try and keep up!
Well you said “much less ignorant” which still implies some ignorants.. **looks down sheepishly and draws lines in the dirt with his toe**
*crosses line in the dirt* Ha!
how about SnowBama?! ehh? ehh? looks around waiting for applause….ehh? *looks at ILPB confused* It’s funny because it’s true…..
ILPB you make it look so easy. It’s really harder than it looks.
And then we can burn his fake birth certificates!!!!111!!!!elebenty!. Oh wait, that would produce more greenhouse gasses.
Well that’s okay, because Gore just made up climate change to steal our monies anywayz!!1!
No he just did for the attention…. Muaha!!!
He was bored after he invented the internet.
He’s just hurt that people use his invention to call him a liar all day long.
The inter-webs is a LIE!!
No, that’s the cake. But I have some fudge..
Do you still have all that fudge? You can send some over to IA if you are desperate.
Why don’t YOU come to IL and bring some fudge appropriate wine.
We could probably arrange that, although my home brewery makes better beer than wine. I am probably going to be in Chi-town some time in April for reals.
Phoo. That will probably be after I move back to AZ. Also, the fudge will probably be gone by then..
I recommend a nice Carmenere from Chile for a dark fudge…….
I’d have gone for a proper sweet Sauternes myself, but then they remind me of my childhood, and one sommelier who would always say “ah yes, Barsac is so very good for the grandmeres!” (I was with my grandparents at the times in question)
Yes, that would be nice as well, but I was also thinking a nice Pinot Noir…..
Aw, screw it, paws. I’m breaking out the shots, wanna join me?
Oh beer wench! Beer me!
hahahaha, Obama, thats funny…
oh, ur serious?
I would have said Jacob Zuma, but aaaaanyway… =D
Actually, we don’t breath out pure carbon dioxide, we breath out 20% oxygen, 78% nitrogen and just 0.1-0.01% carbon dioxide. I’d like to be proven wrong about this.
PS: This is why CPR works…
*hyperventilates* Jeez, I’m not exhaling enough CO2 to keep the trees in my garden alive. Better go and burn something.
Wikipedia — take it for what it’s worth — says that an exhaled breath is more like 5% carbon dioxide and 16% oxygen.
I enjoy the link in your name.
I find the link very opinionated and not grounded in facts. More like propaganda than anything that resonates in truth. Generalizing “why liberals fail” is pretty typical of the political temper-tantrum going on right now. Very easily one could say that “why conservatives fail” is because they make unscrupulous statements about their adversaries instead of providing real solutions to the country’s problems.
Nah we fail b/c y’all call us bad names…… **crazy Irish laugh like the guy in Braveheart**
I thought it was a spoof. Please tell me it wasn’t.
I don’t really care if it was a spoof or not. I found each and every point hilarious.
“I have met with some people while I was home dealing with domestic abuse. It has gotten out of hand. Why? Men don’t have jobs. Women don’t have jobs either, but women aren’t abusive — most of the time. Men, when they’re out of work, tend to become abusive. Our domestic crisis shelters in *(State)* are jammed. It’s the way it is all over the country.”
And whom my friends is the author of the above quote?
That would be Henry Reid on the rise of domestic violence during the recession.
or Harry Reid, my bad. Why do you ask? Is there something wrong with the statement?
Please tell me that was Sarcasm 101?
A link between financial strain and domestic abuse seems an obvious connection to me, but maybe i’m just naive.
But to say it’s only men!!!! Seems sexist to me…..
It is. Here is a summary of research from 2007 that finds that women are at least as likely to commit domestic violence as men. (As you might expect, men are much less likely to report it.)
I doubt they can do as much damage though.
Actually women are more likely to kill or maim their partner doing a domestic dispute b/c women are more likely to use a weapon.
Dhoti: I think it’s incredible you would but into that $hit. I can find a study that more minorities cpommit more violent crimes, but it would still be deemed racist……..
ILPB — um, what?
Dhoti: Sorry… didn’t realize you were agreeing with me. Read too quickly… Sorry.
Irony plays a cruel hand. Dhoti beats Peanut Butter until he starts behaving.
Awww, look, everybody, I have a new stalker! So cute! I’d pinch your widdle cheeks, but I don’t remember if Ewoks actually have cheeks, and there is NO way I’m going to watch that horrible movie again to find out.
Or is stalking me 12 hours out of sync just more of that open-minded, analytical discourse you were lecturing me about?
RETURN OF THE JEDI WAS A VERY GOOD MOVIE. Uh…sorry about that.
I second that Rando.
Dude! WTF?! Jedi was the second best of the 3!
Here’s the hierarchy of the original trilogy:
- The Empire Strikes Back
- Episode IV
- The Holiday Special
- Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
- Gigli
- Return of the Jedi
- Return of the Jedi, Special Edition (really, no Ewok song?)
*DING DING DING* Get that man a cookie!!!!
Tomorrow it’ll be a quote from a dumba$$ Repub… but I found that quote extremely enlightening. I don’t think Reid’ll be in the House in 2011.
Maybe, or maybe not the Senate either.
Sorry he looks so much like Pelosi…..
I’m not a fan of Pelosi either, i say Florida’s Democratic rep. Alan Grayson for House Speaker!!! I’m sure you’d start wanting Pelosi back if that happens.
ALAN GRAYSON?!?! THAT RAVING LUNATIC?!?!?
That lunatic thinks more about his constituents than anybody else on capital hill.
I don’t think he will be in the House in 2011 either since he’s the Senate Majority Leader and not a member of the House. tee hee
You were nija’d Q-< but yeah I was wrong…. blah blah blah..
Either way, he does seem to have an innate talent for saying things that get him in trouble.
your point makes a lot of sense, and is very well articulated. not arrogant or uppity like those other people’s points.
Vote Reid in 2010…or Mrs. Reid will pay the price…
LOL Dhoti that’s terrible.
very crude, but i admit i giggled.
*snerk*
Awesomeness!!
I’m still waiting for my quote from a dumbass Repub.
Too many to choose from…
Plus I was looking for something original.
Yeah, most of the quotes from both sides are getting pretty old, from 57 states, to FDR going on TV, to misunderestimating, to potatoe.
Reid’s was fairly recent, that’s why I found it. Plus it set up Dhoti for a really funny joke. It would probably make a good LOL as well (some people wouldn’t get it though)
So, I read it. I usually don’t click links in peoples’ names unless they specifically say [LINK] to add to a point or something like that. But seeing the discussion, I thought I’d take a look.
Aside from the fact that blanket statements are usually wrong, here is my refutation based on the way I think (since I’m the only one who knows how I think).
1. I don’t think I can change the way anyone thinks. I hope I can change the way some people think, about things that are important to me. I’m a Socialist, I’ll admit it. But I’m also a realist, I know that an all Socialist society just won’t work in practice. Like Rando said a few LOLs ago, I think this country could benefit from some more Socialist policies in some key areas. I don’t think I can make people believe the things that I believe, but I do encourage people (even myself) to question things and not blindly follow anything.
2. I don’t believe we can “talk everything out with our enemies”. I also support the Second Amendment FWIW.. I just am unable to exercise that right in my current state of residence. What I don’t believe in is the US being the World Police. I don’t like the thought of us being the aggressor, I believe we should respond to threats and attacks. You hit us? We hit you back. Hard. I will admit to the “Why do they hate us?” way of thinking, but that’s only because I recognise that I don’t live there, and I wasn’t brought up that way. So it’s not that I think I can talk them out of it, it’s just that my life has been radically different so I don’t have the mindset to understand it.
3. I respect our culture and traditions. But I believe in evolution, I also believe (and this is an historical fact), a stagnant society becomes decadent and topples. We must move forward or we will fall. Now, I can appreciate that not everyone sees my view of societal evolution the way I do, and don’t believe that our country should go the way I think it should. That’s fine. But we do have to evolve, or we, and our culture, will die. Is that too dramatic?
4. Well this one is hard. I do support other Liberals because they think like me, but I can’t say I was a fan of Ted Kennedy, or any of those other people. I believe people should practice what they preach and live up to their moral convictions. I don’t support all liberals, just because they’re liberal. I’ll even say I don’t think Obama did what he could have the first year and I don’t approve of his waffling. Also, the only good thing about Blago was his hair. It was good to make fun of.
5. Well, the first part doesn’t even apply to me because I’m not rich. Hell, the money in my savings account is already spent, on moving. The second part, I know I’m intelligent, but I know I don’t know everything. I plan to keep going to school, I have several more degrees to get before I can do what I want to do with my life. Hell, I don’t even know if what I want to do with my life will make me rich. I don’t even care.
6. LOL, I don’t have much faith in Government. But I don’t have much faith in Big Business either. Like I said above, I think the country could benefit from some more Socialism in some areas. I think politicians and Big Business are both corrupt, and equally so. One just seems to be obsessed with money, the other with power. That makes me distrust both. Yesterday, when I posted my “Vote charro in 2016!”, I thought about that for a while. I could never seriously run, unless I won the lottery. I don’t have the funds to finance a campaign. I would hate to be beholden to campaign financiers who would pull their financing if they don’t like my platform. That makes me sad.
7. That’s just not true. That’s really the only thing I can say about that.
tl:dr.
Damnit.
Bravo Charro!!!!!
Yes, thank you. I enjoy the lauding for recognising my own rantishness.
While it was long, Charro, I found you to be eloquent and to the point. Bravo, and not just because you said pretty much everything I think.
Well thanks Nucky.
See my response below to our furry little friend — for the record, while I think it’s funny, I don’t think it’s a blanket statement, either. But I do think it has enough basis in truth, among those folks for whom liberalism is either a lifestyle or a fashion accessory (i.e. our political class and the Obamatons), that it’s worth keeping in mind that these are the kind of tropes you can fall into when you’re more worried about your liberalism than you are about your politics.
Also, I want someone to come up with an equally hilarious “seven huge flaws in the way conservatives think”.
Well, no I wasn’t offended. I was more perplexed honestly. I couldn’t figure out if it was tongue in cheek or if this guy was serious.
I agree completely. If to be a liberal means I have to blindly follow all other liberals just so I can say I’m a liberal.. I don’t want to be a liberal. One of the things that disappointed me about McCain (yes, I considered voting for him) was watching him move away from being an actual “Maverick” and doing more and more to toe the party line.
And, I am glad you don’t think it’s a blanket statement.. But I think that guy might..
Don’t give me any ideas. I can rant Lewis Black into a coma.
Dude, I know you can rant — I might even have occasionally referred to you as Ranty McRanterson, Mayor of Rant Town — but Lewis Black is on a whole other level from us mere mortals.
His are pure quality, but mine win national awards for frothiness. And you ain’t seen my “unhinged” rants. I tone it down for PK.
i think during your last rant, i got some frothiness on my favorite shirt.
“But I do think it has enough basis in truth, among those folks for whom liberalism is either a lifestyle or a fashion accessory (i.e. our political class and the Obamatons)…”
I suppose this is why I didn’t really see much fun in the article. I made the mistake of reading “liberals” as “liberals” rather than the narrower definition of “particularly polarised American liberals”. It might have basis in truth for those, but I’d say it loses fun value for me because I don’t think it has too much truthiness applied to the word “liberals” in the more general meaning I am thinking it. (And that’d not be the Swedish meaning, ” the liberals” here are on the right wing.
)
Just a quick note on 2): some wise old geezer said ‘You don’t have to make make peace with your friends’ – i.e. you have to talk to your enemies!
I prefer to shoot first ask questions later.
I prefer to ask first and shoot questions later.
I just shoot in general. I still haven’t gotten to the question stage….
You could get one of those micro-engravers to put the questions ON the ammo, then do both simultaneously.
I’ve never been that concerned with the answers though….
If you use that method, I don’t think you will be bothered with answers.
So tell me, what if the troops started talking to the taliban? Maybe even have a nice cup of tea. Dont think it would go over too well.
This may sound shocking to you: But they do. In fact, they even give money to any taliban fighters and commanders who are willing to renounce violence and try and be a part of the government.
The really shocking thing is, it’s working.
nooooo!!!! *head asplodes*
I like tea.
Nope, tea won’t work to conquer Afgahnistan, the British already tried that. The Russians tried Vodka, the Belgians treid waffles, there’s just no reasoning with those people….
Who, the British?
hee hee hee
But, I like tea.
Well, that’s fine if we want to conquer charro.
Yes, be sure and bring scones. I like scones too.
*takes notes*
Churj, tell me how the hell you came up with that? The Taliban are shooting at our soldiers every day, and you say that talking to them is working? HA. How many have we won over……..3?
that’s classified
Actually, it’s been several thousand. Most of those that have accepted the offers are militiamen allied with the taliban, who have decided that there’s more to offer for their people by working with the NATO backed government.
The hardcore backbone of the taliban will never give up, and the NATO leadership has admitted they aren’t willing to negotiate with them, but that doesn’t mean that huge successes haven’t been made all over the country.
Oh, and nice backpedalling on the whole not talking to the taliban thing.
Coming from someone who loves a dead tango — he’s absolutely right. The big-T Taliban have a date scheduled with a 7.62 or the business end of a Hellfire, but there may be more effective ways, in terms of lives and cost, to deal with the small-t Taliban.
You know Dhoti… I think we might just actually get along!
Btw, I’m claiming I ninja’d you on this one (by approximately 9 hours)
hey dhoti, shooting missiles at the bad guys is American policy for the moment. We can agree, Obama’s doing a good job killing lots and lots of terrorists….right?
They’ve also found that, for many taliban leaders, one of the best bargaining chips for making them switch sides is viagra. Which I think is hilarious.
They showed up at my house last night and said, “i can’t believe Salixman actually believed that crap we told him”.
You are my new hero!
I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic or not.
of course Fubar’s being sarcastic…..
*hefts large mallet*
We have ways of making you square pegs fit into your prescribed round holes…you best get busy worshiping the government missy.
No no! I worship Satan!
I thought you worshiped Satin?
Shhhhhhhhhh! Don’t let them know!
Maybe she worships Sudan?
Well if you convert to Muslinism we can work with it.
double ninja’d!
Do what now?
too many words, you lost the neo-cons since you didn’t include pictures
And you lost all the inner city liberals since there were no free handouts. /
you lost all the liberals cause you went on attack mode 2 Lolz ago. judgemental fvckhead
I already said teal deer! What do you want from me?!
What kind of sick fsck would paint a deer teal?
Uh.. *looks up from painting a deer teal*
Not me!
*looks up from painting a deer fuchsia*
Teal. You sick fvck.
*paints Rando teal*
*sees a red door and paints it black*
If this is just you getting personally offended that we think differently, and you feel the need to follow me around and tell me — save your breath. I sleep quite well at night despite knowing I disagree with a great deal of people, most rational, some not, about a great deal of things — so should you.
If not — lighten up! Duh, of course it’s opinionated and dramatic — that’s the point! Still, part of the reason it’s funny is because it has some basis in the truth of human nature, and we can all think of self-absorbed liberals who fall into these tropes because they’re too focused on their “liberalness” than on practicalities.
Yes, if you were so inclined, you could come up with a “seven huge flaws in the way conservatives think”, too. It has the potential to be hilarious. Not so much so if you stick to “hurr durr conservatives are mean”, though.
Dhoti, are you against what George Washington and the founding fathers stood for? He spoke against the partisan labels that you so fluently speak. Try and spend an entire week without labeling someone as liberal or conservative…. you just might like it!
In your rush to label me a hopeless partisan, you pretty much missed my main point. Ironic, ain’t it?
Pfft. Exactly the kind of thing a conservative would say.
i’m just curious, because i think i missed it too, what was your main point?
I don’t think I know how to do that.
I’m completely open minded, and i’ve never approached a problem without some analytical thought involved. So i was surprised to learn that all my voting tendencies were already figured out for me, by a conservative blogger no less. It seems childish to me, and not the least constructive. Articles like that only help separate Americans, it does nothing to bring the country together.
Charro has a great post above, explaining her own positions and you give her credit for them, and then go back to “it’s all those other guys” that fall into these liberal tropes. You don’t get it, the article is wrong; and it’s not just Charro that is an exception to the rule.
It would be instructive for you to reread your response, then reflect on how it shows you’re not anywhere near “completely open minded”. That’s not a value judgment — nobody’s perfect, least of all me — but you’re deluding yourself if you think these kind of knee-jerk emotional reactions are congruent with open-minded rationality.
If you’ll look closely at my response to charro, I didn’t use “it’s all those other guys” at all. I specified my targets quite clearly: “folks for whom liberalism is either a lifestyle or a fashion accessory”. Conceits and dismissals like that make me think you’re more interested in protecting your own philosophy than you are in listening to anyone else.
Just sayin’.
If you’ll notice, over the last three nights of me and you “bickering”, I don’t point fingers are try and degrade the people who disagree with my political views. It’s a rare concept, but i think its the right one to have. If you’ll also notice over the last 3 nights, i don’t get insulted but instead try and find some kind of reasoning either in your statements or i’m trying to explain to you the reason behind my own statements. I always reread my responses. My point was, i don’t vote along political lines, i vote what i think is the correct solution to certain problems. I’ve been labeled a liberal because of the way i vote, but I vote what makes more sense; science and mathematics aren’t just fun stuff to do at school or work, you can also apply logic to political issues as well. I feel like i’m always defending myself against you, and it gets really old, because you always come back with something else EVERYTIME and i have to explain myself again. Just gets old after awhile. Your comments are more personally focused while mine are more widely focused, not necessarily on you as a person. I really believe that even though we disagree, there is a common ground and some common rules we can stick to that don’t degrade or disregard those that disagree with us (not just here on PK, but in this country in general). I have to hold my tongue sometimes because i don’t want to stoop to judging or stereotyping those that disagree with me, hence my problem with your link.
Don’t flatter yourself — you’ve done nothing but degrade me for (presumably) disagreeing with your political views. Your high-minded talk is nothing but a distraction; unfortunately for you, I see right through it.
You have an advanced case of cognitive dissonance. You’ve allowed yourself to become personally and emotionally offended by me. (I honestly don’t know why you care so much.) But you can’t admit that to yourself, because that would contradict your carefully constructed self image of acceptance and rationality. Instead, you spin these ridiculous stories, throw in a little self-aggrandizement for good measure, and trick yourself for a little while longer.
Do us both a favor. If you want to admit your true feelings and own up to your actual motivations like an adult, I’m more than willing to discuss them with you. Otherwise, stop wasting both our time with this tiresome little game.
did you forget about what we were talking about or just automatically go into attack mode?
and by the way, why would you think i wouldn’t admit to being personally or emotionally offended by you?
I do hope that the link is a joke. Townhall is the largest collection of right wing nutt jobs on the internet. Everyone from Hannity to Beck…. bunch of crazy insane ass holes.
While I agree that Hannity & Beck are insane assholes, I get the impression that you’re a bit of a liberatroll, and you need to stop making the good liberals look like tools. Settle down, dude.
LoL Rando the Awesomeness…. I am a conservative. Nothing against liberals except for the fact that they often label people such as you.
People such as me? Who are people such as me?
“good liberal” is an oxyMORON but I guess that’s redundant.
It’s fairly obvious you f’ing retarded liberals have never watched either of them or you wouldn’t but Sean Hannity in the same category as that idiot Glen Beck. Beck actually thinks “global warming” is real so you dip$hits should love him and people who agree with the MSNBC crowd really shouldn’t be name calling.
Oh, I missed this one! Where you been, goofy? Where are all these trolls coming from?
No_MO_BAMA you are at a 10, we could use you at a 2 please.
blah blah blah, f’ing retard, blah blah Hannity, blah blah blah Beck, blah blah blah MSNBC, blah blah dip$hits, blah blah stop name calling.
Good point. And very well articulated.
I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to say….Maybe you should try to proof read things before you post…or think before you type…or just not type maybe….
Ugh. People like you give Conservatives a bad name. I doubt Conservatives would even want to claim you.
You really think “good” and “liberal” are mutually exclusive? That’s just pathetic.
Zing!!!
To be fair, I should give my “zing” to Churj and not-charro; they did a way better job than I did. But I’m not; I’m going to sell it on the free market, because that’s what us evil conservatives do. Bwahaha!
“not-charro”? Oh. My name’s not upside-down. Curse you Google Chrome!
Ah, that’s better. But, seriously, “not-charro”?
It seemed better than charro-hat, charro-bar, charro-0, etc. (Also, I don’t have to copy and paste Unicode that way.)
I’m still confused.
They’re all vaguely physics/engineering/geek universe modifiers that you might use to distinguish two things that are related but different. So, you might call a complex vector i-hat, or the two roots of an equation x and x-bar, or call Leonard Nimoy Spock Prime to distinguish him from Zachary Quinto.
But why are you calling me uh, something that is related but different? That’s where I’m confused. All your weird physics math stuff not withstanding.
Because there’s right-side-up charro, and there’s upside-down charro…
Is this like Spock, and Spock-with-a-beard?
Dude, totally. But I thought charro might get offended if I referred to her as charro and goatee charro. (On the other hand, good charro and evil charro might work…)
Oh. So I was right the first time. I thought you were alluding to me saying things that were out of character for me. Which I didn’t understand either..
It’s kind of like being in Wonderland you know.
I guess I should rephrase that as “You didn’t acknowledge I was correct before talking in physics speak so I became more confused and thought it was an allusion to me being out of character”.
The frking moderation is getting a bit out of hand–I just got moderated out for making a 3 + < HEART SHAPE?!?!?! Give me a break!
What were you trying to say?
Just that I was enough of a geek to like physics-speak. Nothing even close to ‘norty’ or profane!
dear moderation, thank you for preventing me from seeing another 3 + < HEART SHAPE
just playing, i think their servers are pretty busy right now, it's taking my pages a long time to load.
I’m pretty sure I was moderated out–I tried to post that at 5:45.
like the difference between FU and FU (FU-BAR)…i can’t do the bar on top, which in CS would be the correct notation if i remember correctly.
dammit, not even my underline “bar” worked…..meh
Not more mathy geek stuff! I can’t handle that!
But, do you know why Dhoti is calling me a charro-hat? I don’t get it!
i think she’s referring to your name right side up – is the same but different than your name upside down. Like two math variables that have the same value but have different identifying characteristics.
That’s what I said in the first place! Sheesh. All this confusion for nothing.
Wouldn’t it be ~charro in Boolean algebra?
That would be the easiest to keyboard.
Perhaps in Boleyn logic, it would be ~anne?
Can we keyboard a little ax?
A wee off topic, but have you read “The other Boleyn Girl”?
Hah! Here I am thinking you’re Aragon With the Wind type.
It was for book group. But I actually thought it was pretty good.
(I’m not very good at the pun runs.
)
Oh Henry body can do bad puns!
Here you are getting a-head of us all!
*snickers at the thought*
You’re a boolean algebra!
Your bra’s algae!
Since it’s charro, I moss assume I seaweed in her bra.
Um… the 20% oxygen, 78% nitrogen, ~1% He, Ar, CH4, etc is the composition of standard atmosphere, not of what we exhale.
Churj: You failed a Failure…. YAY!!!! Here’s a Platinum Medal!!!
How exactly did I fail? I’m confused now.
OH! His name is failure.
Wow, I think I just failed myself.
Failure fail failed fail!
Do I still get to keep the platinum metal?
NO! You have to take a uranium medal!
Okay, as long as it’s U232, that should be fine. (wait, or is it 235… crap, which one isn’t radioactive… I think it’s 232)
Haha you’re-anium!
At least he’s not bor-ium!
More like bore-aphyll!
Don’t make me kick your arse-nic
takes your medal away…
Aw crap.
CPR works because it mimics the automatic functions of breathing and heart beating. You force oxygen into the lungs, and mimic the heartbeat that circulates said oxygen into the bloodstream.
It has nothing to do with the concentration of oxygen we exhale or inhale.
And, you’re an idiot, see Churj’s above response. We don’t breathe out the same concentrations we breathe in, otherwise we wouldn’t get any oxygen.
One last thing – it’s “breathe”.
The verb is breathe, the noun is breath
Dhoti has used the noun whereas you’ve used the verb 
I repeat. It’s “breathe”.
*breathes*
*faints*
*breaths*
*poke*
*scream*
Uh.
I know right?
Eeeeeeekkkkk! Rando is a conservative!
Wait, what?
LOL, you said “I know right?” And since you know the right, you MUST be an ebil conservative. /
Know thine enemy, JAC. Know thine enemy. *looks off contemplatively*
*contemplates home made chocolate pie*
*also contemplates chocolate pie*
*steals pie that Jac and Rando are contemplating* Too slow, suckers. Muwahahahahahaah! *runs away with pie*
*contemplates chasing Nucky for the pie*
*pulls out pie that was hidden from Nucky, shares with Rando*
OMNOMNOMNOMNOM
D’oh you were failing The Failure, I thought you were picking on Dhoti
No no, I don’t pick on Dhoti. Dhoti gets mean and it makes me cry. *sobs*
I like to play with Dhoti though. My favourite is stealing the duck and running away.
I’m so lost! Who failed what now?
I was pointing out The Failure’s failure, however the Cynical Vegemite thought I was picking on Dhoti and yelled at me for something I didn’t do. In other news, my cat is lazy.
Really? Mine too! She’s so lazy that when the warm sunny patch moves she won’t move with it.
LOL!
Oh also I wasn’t even talking to Dhoti! Sheesh!
How is this relevant? It doesn’t effect the joke in any way, and isn’t it pretty obvious we don’t breathe out pure carbon dioxide?
*Blows enormous smoke ring from large cigar*
Hear hear!
Plus, if you ask me, there’s WAY too much nitrogen cluttering up our air. I mean who needs it? When is Obama going to do something about the useless 80% of our atmosphere??? Forgive me if I’m wrong but in the last year nitrogen levels have not been reduced one bit. And yet the media says nothing.
I think we need more nitrous..
If we could convert more Nitrogen into nitrous it would lead to greater happiness levels and world peace.
See? Someone gets it.
An example of Nitrogen’s versatility is its use as a preferred alternative to carbon dioxide to pressurize kegs of some beers, particularly stouts and British ales, due to the smaller bubbles it produces, which make the dispensed beer smoother and headier. A modern application of a pressure sensitive nitrogen capsule known commonly as a “widget” now allows nitrogen charged beers to be packaged in cans and bottles.
Don’t you dare tease nitrogen. As long as it is used for beer it is ABSOLUTELY essential
Actually it’s used for all sorts of things especially where you don’t want stuff to catch on fire (like the production of stainless steel) but it just isn’t as important as its use in pressurising beer kegs
So we could be helping to reduce nitrogen levels by drinking more beer. That’s an important message and a vote winner for 2012.
Bugger, the pubs are closed. Oh well there’s always tomorrow.
You don’t actually reduce the levels of nitrogen though you just store it until the beer is opened then it escapes back into the atmosphere
So if you wanted to reduce nitrogen levels you’d have to make lots of beer and store it but you could only watch it, you could never open it and drink it and that’s a torture worse than death
You are a terrible terrible person.
*hic* Not if drink it fast.
*burp* Drat.
It’s only useful because it’s so useless. Nitrogen doesn’t do anything, so it’s really useful for situations in which nothing needs done.
Wow, I just realised that nitrogen must be the laziest of the diatomic elements…
Hey! Be nice to nitrogen! What did it ever do to you?!
Actually, it’s my hero. It owns ~80% of the atmosphere, and only because it does nothing!
Well, ok. Carry on then.
We should probably redistribute some of that atmosphere to the hard working middle class then. It is unfair that nitrogen gets to benefit extraordinarily from the hard work of others.
Actually without nitrogen life would be impossible on Earth because nitrogen is a core component of amino acids which make up every living thing.
Plants like clover store nitrogen from the air in nodes that are trapped in its roots thanks to some friendly little organisms that convert nitrogen into ammonia and then into nitrates. That’s why after growing oats or wheat or barley which all remove large quantities of nitrogen from the soil it is a good idea to ‘rest’ the field for a year by planting clover afterwards.
Broad Beans also work, so do peas, bush beans, alfalfa and soy beans. In fact they’re great companion plants to sweet corn which pulls large amounts of nitrogen from the soil if you’re into the whole organic gardening thing.
I can’t disagree with you on that. I was referring to Nitrogen gas (which makes up most of our atmosphere).
Peanuts also. I seem to recall that that’s one of the reasons peanut butter became popular in the US — peanuts were planted to restore nitrogen after growing cotton, so there was an excess of peanuts.
Joins Vegie in the gardening nerd corner.
Yay another green thumb
and you’re right of course all legumes have this property but it still doesn’t explain why so many americans I’ve met like smooth peanut butter.
Also did you know peanut butter (super crunchy)with (real) butter and vegemite (not too much) on toast is extremely delicious
@Churj its all the same nitrogen
Well… yeah. But the chlorine gas that will kill you is the same chlorine that’s in table salt too.
But the nitrogen gas that’s in the air actually is the SAME gas that is fixed by the plants.
Have you read Terry Pratchett? He has a theory that every nation has things that it pretends are delicacies (or even actually food) in an attempt to fool visitors into eating it. I’ve heard this rumored about vegemite.
Smooth peanut butter is more popular, but I like crunchy…and unsalted and without the added sugar that most brands have. *checks wallet* Yep, still American.
Oh yeah, I know. All I’m saying is that if you mix chlorine gas (Cl2) with sodium metal (Na), you’ll end up forming NaCl… table salt. Two very toxic materials that form something tasty together.
.
I’m trying to control myself here…. hehe I’m a chem-major and I absolutely love talking about chemistry, so I’m trying not to run off on a huge tangent
Yeah I’ve heard of Terry Pratchet but vegemite isn’t one of those because we eat tons of the stuff here in Australia. We hate it as kids but as we grow up something changes and by the time you’re about 15 or 16 you can’t live without it.
But you have to treat Vegemite gently and with respect, caress your toast with vegemite, not slather it on like Nutella
Although it is very funny to see foreigners disrespecting the vegemite
Um. I don’t eat Nutella. Only real, unadulterated nut butters for me. Actually, I usually eat almond butter. It works better for me as peanuts aren’t nuts (as you know). I like cashew butter, but, woo, that’s pricey.
Now I want cashew butter.
Churj, I have a similar chemistry joke for you: for those health food nuts who think something is better because it’s ‘natural,’ I always say, “Yes, and so is arsenic.” It’s cute how confused they get.
Haha I use that exact same argument sometimes.
2 atoms are walking down the street. One says to the other “I think I lost an electron”. The other asks “are you sure?” to which he responds “I’m positive!”
… that’s so corny I think I deserve to lose my chemistry license now.
Mmmmm, sweet sweet all natural arsenic.
I can’t say those are readily available here but I do like roasted, salted cashews *yum*
Macadamia nuts too. They’re an Aussie native so most people like them plus they’re cheap here
Mmmmmm I do love me some arsenic.
*hands over chemistry licence*
No need to hand that over! You’re entirely right, the plants do take nitrogen gas out of the air and change it into ammonia!
What? No, you are correct. The nitrogen gas in the air IS the nitrogen gas that plants fix. *gives back license and licence*
Ninja’d!
Q8<
Phew I feel much better
I admit it is hard not to go on tangents with chemistry, it’s just so much fun blowing sh*t up
First meat being better with meat, then all this talk of blowing sh*t up… you’re the bestestest!
I vote that Fox news is denied breathing rights.
Dude, now is not the time. Take it elsewhere.
Rando is it that time of month again already?
I’m sorry, do I know you?
Do you know you?
Bob Dole!!
Bob Dole…Bob Dole…Bob Dole…ZZZZZZZZZZZ
I was watching PBS News Hour (which is about the only news worth watching in Australia) last night and they had some old clip of Al Haig in the late 1980′s who was talking about Al Haig in the 3rd person as well.
It seems it is nothing new over there. WTF!!
I don’t think anyone can help you with Bob Dole….
Why yes, it is that time of the month for random trolls to pick on him. You’re right on schedule.
*rings Bell of Truth*
**takes box on Manpons and bottle Guydol off Rando’s desk previously left there** Yeah that’s it…. stoopid Trolls.
Dude, I think this one is even on my team. Wow, even the libera trolls hate me now. That’s awesome!!!!
I think it’s b/c we had a civil discussion the other day, and you like agreed with me three or four times…
Hurry, quick yell at each other lest we become infested with ideologically confused trolls.
**cuts off Andy’s arm and throws it at Rando** here’s your hand out you durty liburALL!!!
*rips off Andy’s leg* Here’s your health care prices! They cost an arm and a leg! How ’bout dem apples?
*falls over* um, thanks guys, that should do it.
How about a hand for our friend Andy? No, seriously, he’s missing a hand.
I think I saw it crawl behind the couch.
It’s merely a flesh wound!
I’ll be on your team! As long as being on your team means playing hockey and drinking beer. And I mean Molson or Labatt, none of that American crap
(before I get trolled, that’s facetious for the record)
Most of the “American Crap” is crap. Well, the big breweries anyway. There are plenty of microbrews that are delicious.
Molson and LAbatt are equivalent to American Crap!!!!! On scale of major breweries in the “West” nothing beats Sam Adams.. sorry..
Just incase you didn’t click the link
“”It serves to distract the Public Councils, and enfeeble the Public Administration….agitates the Community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms; kindles the animosity of one….against another….it opens the door to foreign influence and corruption…thus the policy and the will of one country are subjected to the policy and will of another.” Mister awesome George Washington
BBC news? While it’s nice to think you’re getting your news from the beeb, you might as well have put google as a link for all the use it is.
Oops. I just realised you meant Dhoti’s link. I think.
Oh lol, thanks Keithybabes. I was talking about the link I posted but it didn’t post, so I copied and pasted the text.
Obama produces more Co2 more than most people. And half of it is from his mouth.
You can’t see it, but I’m giving you the finger.
If you want to try and talk about some of Obama’s (many?) failures, sure… but try and spew something at least a little informed, if you can.
All humans exhale carbon dioxide. When we fart, it’s mostly methane. Good try though.
Methane is one of those ebil Greenhouse Gases that is causing Climate Change. As a card carrying Liberal, I must inform you that you are hereby required to stop farting.
I’d have to do some searching to find the article again, but I read in a journal (Nature I believe) that cattle cause between 4% and 6% of greenhouse gas emissions by farting.
So see, by eating beef, I’m killing a cow, and stopping global warming. Take that PETA!
Beef is so much better when you add bacon.
Meat is so much better when you add meat
There I fixed it for you
I like you.
That is a much more general statement, yes.
But only if you also add meat.
maybe a fart tax is needed
Good idea. webilt, for today alone, you owe me $22,000.00.
*grumbles* Damn liberals and their damn greenwashing taxes…
lol. dammit!!!
Okay, I suppose it’s a dyslexic thing, but I read ‘well built’ instead of ‘webilt.’ OMG, now Wicket will think HE’s been insulted and have a hissy fit!
you can refer to me as ‘well built’ if you feel it necessary
Well, I didn’t think you would find it too offensive.
hey! i was curious what was it on the t-shirt that made you so interested in him?
You just want to go buy one, don’t you? Hee hee.
It was a print of an oil painting of a mountain lion drinking from a pool and its reflection in the pool. I’m a wee bit into the kitty cats.
the only wilderness prints i can find only have wolves, eagles, or bass on them
mabs your love story is inspiring, but the Lolz come first
i thought it was going to be something cool like a cowboys jersey or something….i can’t walk around with a mountain lion on my shirt
everyone would think i was Canadian
Phblttt. Wouldn’t look twice at a man in a sports jersey. Real men can wear cats…and look good doing it.
If i saw a girl in a different town with a Manu Ginobili shirt on, i’d definitely perk my ears up. I’ll look for some mountain lion prints, but mostly down here it’s all bass fish half-way out of the water – half way american flag scales.
Okay, had to go google him. Hmm. I think you wear the t-shirt that you think is cool, then the girl that likes it you will like because you both think it is cool. Shared interest and all that. I do think sports shirts are a bit overdone. Maybe a Beowulf shirt? Hee hee. I also like the pi and e shirts. Actually thinkgeek rocks if you want a smart girl. My son bought his not-girlfriend a Dalek shirt there.
i didn’t enjoy sports until my first marriage, now i’m a hopeless addict. I just wasn’t raised watching sports, but my wife’s family watched sports together as a family activity. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you care or not, just rooting for a team can be entertaining, if not family bonding. anyway, so now i’m addicted to certain teams, and now….yes,…i’m one of those tools that wear a (Manu Ginobili) sports jersey.
It’s not that there’s anything wrong with wearing sports shirts, but if you want someone to notice you, will you really stand out much from the rest of the guys? I would say, if you’re doing the sports shirts, do the cool ones. I did like the Tasmanian Devil Cowboys shirt that one friend had.
to answer your next question, i’ve had 7 marriages.
Ginobili IS a cool one. there are only a very few people in America that you’ll find wearing a Ginobili jersey, and hopefully they’re hot and a woman if i ever run across one.
Oooo. Late. Must finish up some things and off to bed. Good night.
you see it though right? i’m not joking. if i’m standing in a room deciding who i’d like to talk to – the girl with the ginobili jersey has something not just in common with me, but something i’m very into. Just like the mountain lion and you being into kitty cats.
PS. if she’s wearing anybody else’s jersey i would pass her over as just another lebron kobe jersey tool. but if it’s Ginobili, that person has something special and i’d love to start a conversation with them.
Hey, Wicket. Yes, I understood why you would like someone wearing that shirt; I’m just not sure the pool of Ginobili female fans is large enough to ensure that you’ll encounter one. Hee hee. But very cool sports can be intriguing, definitely so if you’re into that sport.
7 marriages? Are you serious?
@Rando. If it’s on PK it must be serious. And don’t act like just because you’re on your 3rd wife that somehow you are better than me.
Churj, being the Liberal that you probably are, I know a Joke is a new concept to you. Obama talks out his ass.
Well, just for the record, I’m not actually American. I also don’t tend to fall along any particular party lines… last election I voted conservative, but given a chance I’d bring Chretien back in a heartbeat.
I understand you don’t spend much time around here, but I hope you’ll notice that I’ve made plenty of other jokes on these boards. A statement such as the one you’ve made is nothing short of a baiting comment typical of an average troll. I have no problem discussing Obama with you, if you’re willing to talk about something in specific.
I just felt like mentioning that farts are comprised mostly of CH4 just to bring some factual statement to the conversation.
Blah blah blah, got anything constructive to say?
I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but watching a women’s curling match is a turn on for me….
Only if the cute Dane or the Canadian MILF are playing.
Debbie McCormick, maybe not of super-model measurements is pretty hot. It’s more the determination in their faces while releasing the “rock” than anything else. Maybe i’m just turned on by determined women.
super-model measurements: twig, twig, fake bewbs, twig, twig, twig.
When did hips go out of style? *sulks*
was trying to say that measurements don’t matter in beauty
In Hollywood, or in the real World? Because hips (and real boobies, oh yes and legs, hair, nice faces, good skin…) are very much still “in” around here.
how bout all of them?
If only it were an actual joke.
On political parties -
”It serves to distract the Public Councils, and enfeeble the Public Administration….agitates the Community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms; kindles the animosity of one….against another….it opens the door to foreign influence and corruption…thus the policy and the will of one country are subjected to the policy and will of another.” Mister awesome George Washington
“The inference to which we are brought is, that the causes of faction cannot be removed, and that relief is only to be sought in the means of controlling its effects.” Mister awesome James Madison
Mister Madison is awesome, however I still do not agree with political parties. We are tribal in nature, but we must not be in Government. It is the downfall of democracy.
Have you seen what happens when political parties are banned?
LOL, yes. I am in no way suggesting that we ban political parties. I just hope that people can move away from classifying EVERYONE as a liberal, conservative, or independent…. It seems very odd to me that people fall into one of three categories. I would say that I am an old conservative / new age liberal / independent….. makes no sense I know which is why it is ridiculous.
I get your point now, but it is interesting that in countries where political parties matter the least (in terms of legislators affiliating themselves with parties and following the commands of political parties – for example, Brazil) tend towards greater corruption and waste than countries where political parties are all important (imagine the UK and most other European democracies).
Very true! Pay attention when watching the news. We stand as a country divided.
Is there news left to watch on television. The last time I turned on a news network there were only people making emotional appeals and checking Facebook pages.
Democracynow is a good source of objective journalsim. I highly reccomend it. That and I read BBC News.
I reccomend it also!
Thanks Fubar.
Why would you reccomend it when you can recommend it instead?
Excuse me, Mr. Rando, but I’m on the other thread trying to save your life with CPR. HUMPH!!! *flounces off in a fit of pique* (I’ve always wanted to try a fit of pique)
oooh! How was it? I’ve never had a pique fit. I’m usually to busy absconding with things….
It was kind of fun, actually… I’m contemplating it as my new look. “Nucky the Pique Fitter” What do you think?
Well, you do have very fit piques!
Aw, thanks DU…..and you have very fit peaks…uh..piques too.
Oh sorry, I lose track of different threads sometimes. I’m no good at multi-tasking.
Well, get your butt back there and start breathing. Dammit, Rando, I’m a booty wench, not a doctor!
*Tries to come up with dirty nurse joke*
… nah I got nothing…
Tsk tsk…..we may have take away your man card for that.
Sorry… bit more sleep deprived than usual… not thinking so good…
So…..this means???? New one in the house????
Yep
sorry, I thought you would have seen my status update on FB
CONGARATS!!! No, I missed that.
Congrats!!!morethanelebenty!!!
*Opens up crate of chocolate cigars, and portable wet bar*
I declare a week of endless liquor and chocolate in celebration.
Woohoo!
OBAMA!!!
You called?
Please… for the love of the lord… MAKE IT KEVIN RUUD!!! (Australia’s Prime Minister and idiot who supports video game/internet censorship)
Lancer, I’m going to have to ask you to get off this website. There will be armed guards arriving at your house shortly to make sure you comply.
This is thte main rsaon I like punritkitcchen.com. Surprising post.
This is the reason I read punditkitchenj.com. Stunning post.
obama should have been just a stain on a lady’s dress. or swallowed.
I nominate Joe Biden.
The Disgrace of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.